a little more conversation, a little less action

Dear readers,

I adore you. I appreciate all of the wonderfully supportive emails and feel a bit overwhelmed. I tried emailing you back individually but it became too time consuming, so I am answering you here. Posting my "middle of the night rampage" was immature of me. I was venting because #1 my husband didn't want to hear a WORD of blogging drama and #2 because I was really tired and frustrated. I made matters worse by including everyone in the scandal :) So I apologize.

I will do my best to explain without causing more chaos, but please know that I am doing much better. As I explained in my ramble, the stats on this blog have increased dramatically... but the large majority of the newcomers were referred from a knitting site. Apparently about a thousand or so knitters were discussing my blog, my entries, my personality, my family. I have no idea why my blog was brought up in the first place or why they spent time dissecting my posts (none of which were from my best of list... just random posts, which I can concur were poorly written and/or very sarcastic..) Although many of the comments were positive, a vast majority were very cruel. And I was shocked that hundreds of strangers could have such opinions about a person they have never met. No one attacked me personally or made any negative comments on my blog. This is NOT the reason I took off comments in the first place. That just happened to be coincidental.. thankfully.

There were a couple of smaller blogs who wrote "entertaining" posts comparing me to TAMN or writing about my terribly designed laundry room and how my family will suffer from the paint colors I chose. I wasn't necessarily offended by these posts, just amused that people have such strong opinions about another person and their blog.

Although I was overwhelmed a couple of days ago, I am doing much better. I realize that it's silly to get worked up over the opinions of complete strangers and know that it's not wise to try to explain yourself or worry about pleasing everyone. When I tried to talk to Aaron about it, he rolled his eyes and said, "It's like having a total stranger walk up to you on the street and say 'I HATE YOU'.... why would you care what they think?" I understand where he is coming from, but I don't know how to think like a MAN! And they were criticizing me, my personality, my family! It wasn't some art project or some novel I was writing.. this is my life here! I have been far too open, and that is my mistake. I feel vulnerable because I have placed myself in this situation. I am working on finding a better solution... thus, my need for a blogging break.

I am currently in the process of going private. However, because Blogspot only allows you to invite 100 readers, I have been spending lots of time cutting the list of invites I believe my private blog of my day to day happenings will be read by my family, closest friends and the best commenters... But I hate to lose contact with everyone else-- so I have decided to transfer this blog over to a more professional site. It's not going to be updated as frequently, but it will be open to the public and will probably be some type of commercial, advertised blog. It is currently up and running, but I have lots of editing before sending out the link to everyone. I am taking my 500 + posts and narrowing it down to the best 200 (or so) posts. And hopefully over the next few years, I will be able to have a successful, up-and-running blog with millions of readers and money coming out my ears (this is sarcasm for all you critical knitters.) One of the hardest parts of going "commercial" is dealing with ads and coming up with a marketable name. It's a Wonderful Life is no longer my thing.. and every other suggestion doesn't seem to fit. For now, it will be titled "that's what janet said" Is that lame or what?... Seriously, can you come up with anything better?

I must sign off because my kids are screaming from the bathtub, "I am ready to get OOOOOUUUTTTT!" and "My fingers are WRINKLY" so stay tuned in the following weeks for a link to my other blog. Changing my address again is SUCH A PAIN, but it's high time I make the switch. Thanks for being so understanding... and know that I do read your emails and feel the love.

Have a wonderful weekend. Happy March!

Janet

ps. I have to say that when Brooke White performed yesterday on American Idol and gave the current competitors advise, I had to smile. Out of all things, she told them to "Be true to yourself and NEVER Google your name." I think that is such great advice. Obviously, none of us are rich and famous, but I believe it can apply to us all. We must remember that we're all doing our best. We cannot worry about what others think of us. We cannot compare ourselves or stress about pleasing everyone. Our best IS good enough.. Success is a relative term, but happiness and contentment is completely independent of what others think, say and do. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you." He was one smart fella.

pps. if you missed the tidbit about watching the new version of Sense and Sensibility, hear me now. It's SO good. I might even say it's up there with the British version of Pride and Prejudice without the delicious Colin Firth, of course. Have a girls night and watch it!

Ladies Man....

Ben and Luke were hysterically laughing this morning. When I asked them what was so funny, Zack threw a mini tantrum and stomped, "NOTHING is funny!"

I figured the older boys were teasing him but they denied in unison, "We weren't! We just thought he said something awesome."

Then Ben explains that while they were playing HOT WHEELS, Zack grabbed the convertible car and said,

"See ya later, dudes. I'm off to get ALL the Ladies."

When I asked where they think Zack learned to say something like that, everyone agreed: DADDY.

we have a SWIMMER!

Because it's been "COLD" lately (only 70 degrees yesterday) we are spending many an afternoon at the indoor swimming pool. This pool isn't exactly close to our house (a good 30 minute drive) but it's our favorite because our kids think the water is "warm like a bathtub." It hope it's not warm because of all the pee in the pool... Ben and Luke are inseparable in the water and have become excellent swimmers. Aaron and I have spent the last few weeks teaching Zack to swim.


Zack won't get out of the pool until he's completely exhausted and he wants his goggles so tight that he gets hickies around his poor eyes. But he has become quite the little fishy... he quickly pops his head up for air and then he's back under the water. We are all so proud! Of course, we're not throwing him in deep end to swim laps or anything, but I have a feeling he will be swimming on his own before the summer is over. Here's a 30 second clip of him taken a couple of weeks ago. And for the Grandparents, there is another one of him jumping into the pool on our video blog.

sexy feet

this is the 6th picture in my 6th folder.. who in the world came up with this "tag" in the first place? for whatever reason... I get to show off a disgusting picture of my husband's foot (at the gargantuan size 13. can I get a whut?)

If this picture doesn't TURN YOU ON, I don't know what will...

In 2004, Aaron was playing an intense game of volleyball with a couple of Tongans who weighed 3X as much as him. He went up to spike the ball and came down with an extra Tongan on top of him. This purple foot was his fate. He elevated it for a day or two and then went about his buziness like it was no wahala. I think he still has issues with it, but he shrugs it off like a thug.

Enrich as a Secong Wanridge

My little bro is living in China for a couple of months. He emailed our family these pictures and I just thought I would share the love. enjoy!

girls just wanna have fun...

For the FOURTH weekend in a row, we've had visitors.. and this weekend didn't disappoint. Two of my sisters and two of my brother's wives drove down from SLC to have a girls weekend. We left my kids (along with an extra cousin and a puppy) at home with Aaron and had a wild and crazy weekend.

We stayed at the Excalibur.. we ate delicious food, talked until wee hours of the morning, laughed until we cried, bought new Double D's, waxed our eyebrows and mustaches.... all the things that girls do best. Some of our pictures are a little too graphic and will have to stay on my private blog.. these are just the clean ones!


One of the best parts of the weekend was the time we spent inside ONE dressing room at Victoria's Secret. We all started off in our own rooms, but eventually ended up crowding into one. Oh yeah, baby.. we are THAT comfortable with each other. (notice Kris feeling up Amy in exhibit-top-left.) Combine our good looks with the obvious pink shopping bags and you have a recipe for men magnets. We had to bat them off like flies. One particular group of guys wanted to know if we were going to try on our recent purchases. I replied, "Yes. We are going have private showings for our husbands." Aaron would have been so proud.

I try not to think about the fact that my entire family lives blocks away from each other. I usually miss the Girls Nights because I don't have a house around the corner from my parents. But this weekend was just what the doctor ordered. I love my sistas so much and I am so glad they came to Vegas to party! Now all I need is a week vacation to recover from the lack of sleep. Going to bed several nights in a row at 3 am is NOT good for the body, but I think it does wonders for the soul......

for the love of ice skating....

chaklet chip cookes

We're learning about alligator teeth in our math "classroom" this week. Obviously, I am talking about the greater than, less than sign. Did anyone else draw teeth in the < sign to make it EAT the bigger number? I did. And now, so do my kids. After several sheets of homework, the boys started discussing which THINGS they love more. I've thoroughly enjoyed listening to their comparison conversations.

But nothing beats the love note I got this morning from child #1:

This afternoon, I found one from Luke...

I love being a mom MORE than I love mice, ducks OR chaklet chip cookes.

"honest abe" and the cherry tree

I lost my voice over the long weekend... as well as the ability to type, apparently. We've had an insane couple of days-- and although I have much to report on our Valentine's Day party (as well as our fun weekend with surprise visitors) I am reporting on the reports my boys had to give yesterday.

President's day might be a vacation for most elementary school students, but it wasn't for ours. Ben and Luke were assigned reports on two of the most influential men ever to lead our nation. They had to do research, draw pictures and then give an oral dissertation on what they learned. Am I a grueling teacher or what? It actually turned out to be a pleasant experience for everyone.



Ben was assigned Abraham Lincoln and -like everything else he does- took on the challenge with great gusto! Did you know Abe Lincoln was the tallest president (6'4") as well as the first to have a beard and the first to be assassinated? Did you know he foresaw his death? His dreams were vivid and he told his wife several times that he didn't think he would live through his second term. A week before he died, he had a dream of a man crying in the White House. He sought the room where he heard the sobs coming from and found a casket. He asked the crying man who had died and the man replied, "The President." When he looked inside the coffin, he saw his own face. He truly was an example of courage, strength and perseverance. He was homeschooled most of his life and gained a love for reading at an early age. He was a brilliant communicator and an eloquent writer. He was slow to take an important step, but once he did, he never second-guessed his decision. He struggled with depression throughout his life... which is surprising because he loved to laugh. His unique sense of humor helped America get through a difficult time. He had four sons, but only one lived to be an adult. Abraham Lincoln's posterity lived for 2 short generations. Although he has no living descendants, he has become one of the most historical figures in our nation.


Luke was assigned to give a report on George Washington... and being the innovative (lazy) pragmatic child that he is, he figured showing GW's face on the dollar bill was much better than drawing his own picture. And who can argue with that? Luke and Daddy teamed up for a great report on the Father of our Country. Luke started his report by saying that if GW was still alive, he would be 277 years old.. It's also important to mention that George Washington was homeschooled... interesting, no? :) He took pride in everything he did. He was a hard worker, he was a military genius and a noble leader who refused a crown. During college I read several biographies on George Washington and was inspired by his story.. by his strength and character. Did you know that George Washington was in love with his best friend's wife? Sally Fairfax was married to George William Fairfax, who lived across Washington's beloved plantation, Mount Vernon. George Washington later married a short, amiable (and wealthy) widow, named Martha Custis. Although many reports show that they did not marry for love, over the years, their relationship grew and their love was genuine. And after reading this recent article, apparently Martha was a hottie. Who knew? And although Washington never had children of his own, he became the most famous Father in history.

Amidst all the turmoil and economic hardship, I can't help but feel grateful to live in such a wonderful country. I know the future may seem scary, but I believe that it's NOT by coincidence that we live in this land during THIS time. We each play significant, important roles. I am inspired by these two wonderful men who, despite their difficult circumstances, did more than they thought themselves capable of doing. I wonder if they understood the ripple effect their lives would have on MILLIONS of people. It truly is inspiring and makes me want to be a better mother, wife and citizen. It seems like there is a deficiency of core values in the world today. It's not easy raising kids to be strong, courageous, bright, faithful and honest. Video games, mindless TV, loud music and movies seem to be calling them in a different direction. But I know I can do better and BE better. This is a time to be grateful, a time to work harder, and to stand up for what we know to be right. May we all learn from the examples of those who sacrifice their lives for GOOD and may we be inspired to bring out the best in others.

Happy President's Day. There is hope shining brightly before us!

ps. If you're interested in hearing some of Ben and Luke's reports, mosey on over to our Video Blog

Strolling down Lover's Lane

Oh YES he did! He actually participated in a blog post. How romantic is that?

HE. (by her.)

1. Sitting in front of the TV, what's on the screen? SPORTS, house, or some weird documentary about Abraham Lincoln..
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? the dressing isn't important... it's the size of the croûtons that really matter.
3. What's one food he doesn't like? mayo and mustard. (if condiments count as food.) He will scrape off the mayo, but he despises mustard.
4. You go out to a restaurant, what does he get to drink? root beer. he would rather have lemonade, but every time he drinks it, his teeth hurt the next day. ?
5. Where did he go to high school? castle rock, colorado. DCHS. (at one of my bridal showers I had to play "Who wants to be Aaron's wife." It came down to this final question and I DIDN'T know the answer! I had to use a lifeline to get to the big bucks. I think I ended up taking home $100. It bought some pretty sweet lingerie!)
6. What is one phrase he says all the time? any phrase that should be used by a black man. "no diggity" "Fo shizzle" "No doubt boo" "I love Cali like I love women" the list could go on and on. I guess you could say it's cute. on our first date I told him he reminded me of a white version of Will Smith. some things never change.
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? stuffed animals.. like squirrels with missing eyes. don't ask.
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? BLT
9. What would this person eat everyday if he could? raisin bran or frosted mini wheats
10. What is his favorite cereal? see above. this man LOVES cold cereal..
11. What would he never wear? anything with a stain on it
12. What is his favorite sports team? who ISN'T his favorite? he thinks he has to watch EVERY game because it's "his" team.
13. Who will he vote for? the good guy
14. Who is his best friend? Del Post
15. How many states has he lived in? california, michigan, wisconsin, texas, mexico, florida, colorado, utah, idaho, arizona, washington, nevada. Mexico isn't a state? really?
16. Does he have any nervous habits? I don't think he gets nervous.
17. What could he spend hours doing? playing or watching sports
18. He is: great in bed.

SHE. (by him)

1. Sitting in front of the TV, what's on the screen? american idol
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad? ranch on the side
3. What's one food she doesn't like? anything that smells like fish
4. You go out to a restaurant, what does she get to drink? "water. and you drink 5 glasses before anyone else touches theirs. The waiter needs to bring you a pitcher with a straw."
5. Where did she go to high school? "aren't you still in high school?"
6. What is one phrase she says all the time? "Foreplay starts with the dishes"
7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be? "yearbooks" he said that to make me laugh and I did...
8. What is her favorite type of sandwich? "the other half of whatever sandwich I'm eating" true. it's cheaper to buy a footlong than each get our own. but he usually gets turkey because he loves me.
9. What would this person eat everyday if she could? "salad. you're a rabbit"
10. What is her favorite cereal? "good question. I am sure it wouldn't taste good." I never eat cereal... unless it's for dessert.
11. What would she never wear? "lipstick"
12. What does she always wear? "your black stretchy pants" (he hates these by the way... and they're not really mine.. they're Val's. thanks roomie!)
13. Who will she vote for? "Not David Archuleta. the other one."
14. Who is her best friend? "Debbie"
15. How many states has she lived in? "five" I have lived in SIX. but he won't give me credit for Georgia... because he knows it bothers me. I lived there for 5 months. I had a job. I paid taxes there. We get in a fight every time we talk about it. He thinks I am not cultured because I've lived in the same house my whole life. I think he's secretly jealous that I still have friends from Kindergarten.
16. Does she have any nervous habits? "you ask uncomfortable questions" When I asked WHAT? He said, you always ask the questions that everyone is thinking but no one has the guts to ask. I guess it's not really a nervous thing you do.. it's bold.
17. What could she spend hours doing? "asking me dumb questions for your blog."
18. She is: "my best friend" awwww.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, y'all!

thanks Lindsay for the tag.

giants and the attack of the killer toilet

For the past 9 days, Zack has been miserably sick. How terrible is it to confess that I LOVE it when he's deathly ill? There's something wonderful about a child with a high fever--- they become motionless, lethargic and angelic. Zack has let me hold him for a whole week! He asks to go to bed at 5 pm. He sleeps in until noon. He doesn't eat anything, he never makes messes, he doesn't throw tantrums. This hourly dose of drowsy NyQuil is really paying off! And after 9 beautiful days, it seems like he's starting to feel better... so if you live close by and you have a child with an illness, please bring 'em over to play with my little guy! Sickness turns horrible squids into adorable kids.

Of course, I am kidding. It's hard to see your vivacious, spirited little toddler so miserable. But even though he's been infested with germs, little Zack has managed to keep the whole family entertained. Here are a few of our favorite things he's said this week:

After going potty, I asked him if he had flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He nodded his head and said, "You be so glad for me, Mom. I'm DESPONS-ABLE!" I AM so proud of him for not only growing up so quickly, but for trying to use such BIG words! The next day... he came out of the bathroom grabbing his boy parts with a betrayed look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he sobbed, "The toilet hurt me!" When I asked him what the toilet did, he responded, "He just smashed my WEENIE for no reason!" Apparently, when he closed the lid something was in the way. Ouch! I tried to keep a straight face knowing how bad it must've hurt, but I wasn't strong enough. When Zack saw me laughing he got a big grin and said, "That's funny that the toilet smashed my weenie, huh?" Indeed.

Believe it or not, he has started several sentences with the phrase "When I was a kid......" Oh, man. To hear it in his little voice is just TOO MUCH. When asked how old he was when he was a KID, he will say, "Like 2 or something." As if he joined the ranks of manhood on his third birthday.

And my favorite story [one that the husband doesn't think should be written on the blog] must be documented-- here and now. If Aaron reads it and scolds me, I am willing to take a beating...

The other day Zack whispered ever so softly in my ear, "Mom! Girls only have ONE BUTT!" It was so quiet that I wasn't exactly sure what he had said. He rephrased, "I mean, Girls only have ONE PRIVATE PART-- cause they pee out their butts!" By this time, Luke had to chime in and say, "No, they have three private parts.. their butt and their two boobies." This made everyone laugh--- then of course, the conversation got a little more intense when Aaron explained that girls do have a special private part and they do NOT {in fact} pee out of their butts. The boys wanted to know what that part was called... so Aaron told them (Stay away PERVERTS! I am not typing the actual word because I get enough twisted Google searches as it is.) When Zack heard the V-word, he stood up and screamed, "WHAT??? You mean girls have GIANTS?" I homeschool for this very reason... because conversation is always entertaining AND it keeps my kids from sharing their secrets on the playground.

Fi.Fy..Fo...Fum....
girls only have one bum.

finding balance

Yesterday I wrote about my NEED to get into bed at a decent hour... well, here I am posting at ONE am. Lesson not learned. (cough, moan, bleh...)

Prime time TV is taking over our house and it's making us a dysfunctional family. Every night I tell myself, "the show is recorded... you can watch it tomorrow.." but the temptation gives in and before you know it, I am sitting on the couch reaching for the box of kleenex while watching the Biggest Loser (you better believe I cried when Mandy's boys came to visit her! oh-- and when they had to leave... waaaaa!) Tonight during the BALANCE challenge, Aaron starts talking trash with me about how he could whip me in a challenge like that. I was so offended because I am a yoga champ and can hold a pose like it's nobody's buzinez. Soon Ben and Luke joined in and before the dinner dishes were put away, we have a full blown balance competition going on in our kitchen... We pulled out a large can of food storage for each person (no wooden blocks to be found in our house.)


There is no need to say who actually won--- because isn't it obvious who is the most talented individual in our family? Alright, I will confess and say that it INFURIATES me that I can't beat my husband in anything. There was no challenge whatsoever. He would have been standing on that can of wheat until the sun came up. And we all need our beauty rest. I sacrificed my pride for the good of the entire family.

Oh, and tragically Ben is wearing the pajamas that he's NOT allowed to wear in public or when friends come over... so now I must explain. My dear, sweet mother "Grandma Bev" (not to be confused with our other "Grandma Bev" who lives in Spokane..) gave all of her grandchildren pajamas for Christmas last year. She gave Ben the option of having Transformer pjs or Spongebob. Typically, he would have TF anyday, but these pjs happen to be the ANIMATED Transformers and that makes all the difference. So instead he chose Sponge Bob. Little did we know that the SpongeBob pjs were GIRLY and pink. When Ben opened them on Christmas Eve, he was thrilled. Aaron and I chuckled as he put them on and wore them to bed. When we woke up the next morning, I made him change into his Christmas pjs before we could open any presents... I know, I am so vain and didn't want all our Christmas pictures with my son wearing girly Sponge Bob jammies.

Since then, we have tried giving them or throwing them away, but to no avail. Apparently Ben is in touch with his feminine side and doesn't care if they have a pink collar or pink snowflakes. When his cousin Anna came to visit and happened to be wearing matchy cutesty jammies, we just had to take a picture.. (with no intension of posting it on the blog.) But I guess the wee hours of the morning makes me want to confess everything. Here I am, admitting that I suck at ANY type of challenge against my husband AND that my oldest son is a HOMO. Take it or leave it.. but know that tomorrow I am going to wake up with a hangover of regrets. Seriously, my calves are killing me. I was literally shaking while standing a whole 4 minutes on that can. Who needs BOB when you have a year's supply of food storage to work out with?

disoriented

My schedule is seriously WHACKED. All I want out of life is early to bed, early to rise.. but I just can't seem to get a handle on anything! With sick kids, lots of random responsibilities and an exciting TV lineup, I just don't know how to get organized. It's so frustrating.

I am a nazi when it comes to the kids sleeping in their own beds.. or at least I used to be. When my babies hit 6 weeks, they stay in their cribs and do not come near me or my husband when it's time to sleep. I have no sympathy for them and they quickly learn to sleep through the night. When they are toddlers, they know better than to crawl in bed with mom and dad. I am SO not a fan of the family bed. I just value my sleep too much. So HOW is it possible that every day this past week we've had a third or fourth kid in bed with us? Why am I allowing my six year old to cuddle with me at 3 AM? After this past spell of Zack being sick, I am not sure I will ever get him to sleep in his own bedroom..

Aaron's cell phone rang EARLY--- like 7:30 AM. I rolled over and groaned because after the lack of sleep, I am not feeling well myself. When he got off the phone, I was mad and said, "WHO in their right mind calls this early on a Sunday morning?"

Aaron chuckled while saying, "It's Tuesday, honey."

oy.

favorite blog award

Kristen gave me one of the nicest compliments by giving me some type of great blog award tag thing.. and I am truly flattered. Now I have to name my favorite blogs. To tell you the truth, I don't like doing this. at all. I really don't like popularity contests. because it usually makes everyone jealous of me. but since I am not nominating my own blog-- I feel okay about it.

I decided to link my FAVORITE POSTS from each blog. I know, a little more work for me.. but you're worth it.

Nie Nie amazing that you can be so touched by someone you've never met. she has changed so many lives just because she lives hers to the fullest.

c Jane I realize the rest of the world loves her too.. but how can you not appreciate her wit, charm and excitement about glitter poop?

Molly Jackson another woman I have never met, but that doesn't mean I don't love her. I cry each time I read her blog. she is eloquent. beautiful. inspiring.

Bethany easy to relate to. funny. and she's family-- so she must be amazing.

Tristie genuine. happy. has NEVER been afraid to be her spunky self.

Suzanne and Jason this particular entry is rather long, but I love it. I am so glad they blog so I know what's going on in their lives.. although it's been a while since they've updated. where are you?

I have four married brothers... with four amazing wives. it's incredible to see your siblings marry someone hand picked for them. Rach is on my list of fave blogs because she lives so far away and I LOVE being able to see updated pictures of my super cute niece, Kennedy! we miss you guys.

Honorable mentions:
Favorite private blogger: Karlin
Farthest friend blogger: Amelia -- it's so nice to keep in touch even though she lives in Scotland.
Favorite commenter: Sheri --- this girl has such wit! I am considering opening up my comments because I really miss Sheri!
Favorite Man blogger: Graton-- LOVE that he still emails me even though my comments are closed. serious props to this guy!
Bravest blog stalker: Nova. this girl wrote a song about me. No one has ever written a song about me. Whoa!
Best College Updates: Cindy Lou. I love that I can keep in touch with my sis in her first semester of college.
always uplifting: Lindsay I love reading blogs when you can feel the LOVE oozing from the pages. I love Lindsay's perspective.. and I love that she loves her husband so.
Farthest Family member: Tim and Rachel we miss you guys--- especially beautiful Kennedy! I am so glad you have a blog!!!
funkiest blog: azy

breakfast can be so exhausting sometimes...

the fact that he actually came to the table means he's feeling a lot better.

Who ever said poetry is boring?

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

2.Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Props to my lovely MIL who emailed these to me...

a hormonal disorder story

Once upon a time, there was a girl. She was going to college in a small, freezing town in Idaho. She loved to socialize and go to her classes. She loved her roommates and teachers. She did not like to date. Most of the guys she dated wanted to get serious and had heads the size of watermelons. She did not want to get married, at least not for several years and tried to stay away from boys, if at all possible.

One day, a nice-looking guy came to her apartment to ask her on a date. She accepted. He seemed normal when he picked her up for the date, but as the night progressed she found herself annoyed. He was trying hard to impress.. he spent lots of money on her, talked a lot about his accomplishments, and flexed his muscles. After a nice dinner, he took her to the movie "The Sixth Sense" because he had already seen it and wanted her to get scared and grab his arm. She got scared but she did not grab his arm. She kept her arms tightly folded in her lap and adjusted awkwardly when he put his arm around her. The drive home was a long one.. She was looking forward to getting out of his car. As he pulled into her parking lot, he asked her if she wouldn't mind going on a walk. Regretfully, she said yes. They walked on campus for what seemed like forever. She told him she was cold. When he offered his coat she declined but requested to go home instead.

When they finally approached her front door, he told her he had a lovely time. She said, "thank you." When he asked her if he could make dinner for her the following night, she said, "No thank you." When he looked confused, she apologized and told him that there were plenty of girls that were interested in him, but she was not one of them. He was speechless-- which made him attractive for the first time that night.

She finally made it inside and when her roommates asked how the date went, she said she didn't want to talk about it. She was tired and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. After the toothpaste was applied and the toothbrush was in her mouth, someone knocked on the door. It was him again. She begged one of her roommates to join her in the living room for another long conversation.

He was sick to his stomach. He wanted to know what he had done wrong. She told him that he didn't do anything wrong and that he was reading too much into the situation. She told him to relax. She apologized for being so bold and refusing to go out with him again because he was very generous and kind. She explained that she wasn't interested in dating anyone seriously. She had other items of business on her college agenda. She told him that he should find a girl who was interested in getting married. The girl tried not to make eye contact with her roommate during the late night conversation because it was all they could do to keep from busting up. They were desperately trying to get him out of their apartment, but he was so absorbed in himself that he didn't get any of the clues. Not even blunt remarks like, "We are VERY tired and would like to go to bed now." He started asking about her past relationships. She did not want to discuss anything more with him and gave him one word answers. Eventually he left. The roommates went to bed giggling.

The next morning the girl got up early to go on a jog. It was a beautiful morning and she was happy to be out by herself. She returned home to a houseful of girls who had big news. The boy from the night before had already stopped by her apartment and wanted to speak to her. It was 7:30 in the morning. The roommates handed her an envelope with a typed letter addressed to her. A typed letter meant serious business because computers and printers weren't a big thing back in the day. (obviously it was centuries ago.)

She opened the letter. She read it out loud so that all of her roommates could enjoy it too. They laughed so hard they could barely breathe. In fact, they read it twice and it was funnier the second time. After they stopped crying from laughter, the girl went directly over to the boy's house. She was still wearing her jogging clothes and was sweaty from her jog. But she wasn't worried about what she looked like. She knocked on his door. He answered. He asked her if she had read the letter. She assured him she had. He asked her if it changed her mind. She said it most definitely had not. She then explained that she DOES like boys, but she does NOT like him. She said that he was so full of himself that he couldn't see straight. She told him that she and her roommates found the letter entertaining and she thanked him for the good laugh. He seemed puzzled.

She walked home with a smile on her face. She felt bad for being rude, but he asked for it. She thought that if someone had the audacity to write such a letter (especially after ONE DATE) then it deserved to be shared with the world. So she made copies of it and sent it to her parents and siblings. She carefully placed it in her scrapbook along with a picture of the boy.

Dear Janet,

Well tonight I have been thinking a lot about you. I hope you know that everything I say in this letter isn't a desperate hope to somehow win your heart. I'm saying these things to try to help you figure yourself out and also find out if you truly need to change. I don't want to come off as preachy either so please don't take offense to the things I say because I am being bold.

I just had a really good talk with my mom about you and seeing as my mother has been through a lot of relationships, I've always looked to her as an authority on it. My step father's ex-wife is a lot like you. She had never in her whole life been in love with a guy, although she thought it would change when she met the right one. There are such things as hormonal disorders and she had one and to this day still has it. But the thing is, she is happy with the way she is living her life. She has said some of the exact things you said to me like she has so much to accomplish and is happier doing other things that are "more productive". She has four children so she did what she had to do to get those, but that's where it has stopped.

All healthy relationships have three factors that somewhat act as a triangle. These are passion (physical), commitment, and intimacy (emotional). If one of these factors is missing then somewhere down the line the relationship will fail. For example, if a relationship has passion and intimacy and no commitment, then the spouse will feel the desire to cheat. Or if the person has commitment and intimacy but no passion, it will make a great friendship marriage, but it will leave the other spouse totally unsatisfied, as was the case in my step father's ex-marriage. It's very hard to change your character if you're happy living that way and say things will change for you somehow... someday.

I guess me and you are on totally different ends of the spectrum when it comes to romance, and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Janet, you are an amazing girl and I don't want you to let what you want get in the way of what God wants for you. I hope that this letter as helped you somewhat and you know where my intentions are. I know that often times prayers are answered through other people, so please take what I've said to heart. I promise that I will never pursue you again but I'll always be your friend. you're too much of an amazing person to not be friends with and I will never let my emotions get in the way of our friendship.

Your buddy,
Ryan

boring blogging business issues

I hate writing THESE kind of posts. I really do. But let's get it over with....

#1-- BLURB has updated their software and it's NOW compatible with Blogger! You can finally upload your blog into a book! I am really so happy about this... because even though I figured out an easy way to do it, I didn't want to do everyone else's! Selfish I know, but I have plenty of things to occupy my time. Having said that, my computer skillz quadrupled in the past two months. I am fluent in computer code and have cool tricks to upload blogs (like uploading certain posts comments or doing a book just on one LABEL.. meaning I can easily make a book out of every post that mentions Zack, etc. I will probably get around to making a book for each of my boys.. no more scrappy, cute-tsy stuff. Hard bound is so much better!) Blurb is great software, even though I have questioned their computer programmers several times. Seriously, if a stay at home mom with no computer training whatsoever could figure out the glitch, what is their deal? But someone has come to save the day! Blurb is relatively user-friendly and it's very cost effective. To sum things up, if your current version of BLURB software isn't uploading your blog, then update it... Happy book making!

#2-- Staying on topic, my 2008 book is DONE and is currently being printed. I can't wait for it to arrive. It's 432 pages all together. It was about $90 to print... not bad considering there were over 1500 pictures for the year. When it arrives (and when I get around to it) I will post pictures with my favorite things about the book (like scanning in my Christmas cards from friends and family and adding them to my Holiday section.. ) I am very happy (and relieved) that it's finished.

#3-- I learned several lessons while composing my book. Most importantly is that I really don't care about the comments on my blog. Shocker, I know, especially after giving so many scoldings in the past... but the truth is, I DON'T blog to get feedback. I DO blog to document and keep record of the things going on in my life/home. The only comments that were published in my 2008 book were from the memory post and a couple from the kids' grandparents (including our adopted grandma.) The hundreds of other comments never get documented.. So why spend time writing/reading them when they don't matter in the long run? Entertaining purposes and keeping in touch is a wonderful benefit of blogging.. but comments seem to be a bother, and I am all about eliminating the unnecessary. If you want to "talk" to me, send me an email. This way, those who feel like keeping in touch with me will... and those who don't aren't the ones commenting in the first place.

#4. Am I crazy to close comments? Probably. But the blogging world is a complex one. Comments can make the blogging world awkward and I hate that it ruins such a good thing. I have fully embraced the fact that I can't force people to introduce themselves and therefore, I will stop being so personal. It doesn't mean I am going to stop blogging, but it does mean that the majority of my posts are going on a private blog.. Don't worry, the best of the best will get posted here.. the other stuff isn't going to make it.

#5. And now that I am limiting WHAT I post on my blog, I have opened up FULL content of my posts on google reader. I know I keep going back and forth with this... but I feel like it's another way to save much needed mommy time. If you are wondering HOW to change your feed content (meaning the amount of info others can read when they get an update if you've posted something new) it's under Settings/SITE FEED. If you chose "short" only 250 words will be sent to Google Reader. If you do "full" others will be allowed to read the entire post (and see pictures and links) in the particular site feed. If you don't know what I am talking about, you need to sign up for Google Reader.. It really helps me limit my time on the computer..

#6. Sometimes I write merely for discussion... so obviously when I post something to ask your opinion, comments will be opened. Blogging CAN BE a great way to "discuss amongst ourselves"-- but there is a time and place for feedback.. and it'll be obvious when I want it. The thing is, not a single "discussion post" made the cut into my family archive/blog book. I just don't think that my grandkids will care who I voted for on American Idol or what my friends thought about my decorating dilemmas.

#7. Speaking of important/shallow discussion topics that will not make it into my book at the end of the year, I just have to ask.... Who is watching the Bachelor and what do you think about the final four? To me, this seems like an obvious answer, but maybe they are setting me up. Honestly, it CANNOT be anyone else but Jillian. If she isn't the last one standing, I swear to you, I will never watch the show again. I am so happy that Steph was voted off this week. She was a sweetheart and I am sure she will find a great guy... but she looked too much like an ostrich and sounded like Mother Teresa. Melissa is cute, but isn't going to last because she scrunches her nose too often. And don't get me started on Molly. I seriously HATE Molly. I don't know why I let a nice girl on TV get under my skin like Molly does, but I literally fast forward the show every time she talks. So, back to Jillian. She is confident, smart, beautiful, honest, and so darling. The only concern I have with her being the last one is that Jason might not measure up. She is a class act, in every way except for the fact that she is on the Bachelor in the first place. Seriously, girls are crazy to do that to themselves... and I am sleazy for watching it.

#8 If I seem distant or impersonal, it's because I am trying to be. We're still dealing with a lot at home, but we're tough and we're aware that life isn't always hunky-dory. We ARE counting our blessings and feeling grateful that our schedules are busy.. We seriously have lots to occupy our time.. birthday parties, visitors every weekend, freezer meals up the wazoo, and the biggest Valentine party we've thrown yet! If you're in the Coronado Ward, clear your calendar's for V-day. It's gonna be wild! Call me if you want to help... we need you!

#9 If you're interested in throwing Valentine's Party of your own, let me know. I will email you the outline games, etc. Just leave a comment with your email address and I will load you up. I explained it in better detail last year on THIS POST. I just wanted to let the newcomers know that the offer is still good. It's a great month to spread a little LOVE.

#10 Several people have asked if you can link my blog to yours, the answer is always YES. I take it as a compliment and never want to shun anyone away! Please link your blog to ajshumway and NOT my fake "going private" blog at shumwaygang because that blog is now inactive... (oh the confusion!) Thank you for reading and please don't feel scared to contact me. I sincerely apologize for the "comment lectures" in the past. I was feeling vulnerable and it was my fault for being so open and personal. Obviously, I love blogging and don't want to stop any time soon, but I'm constantly trying to figure out a balance in this vast blogging universe.. blogging is great, friendships are better, but spending quality time with my kids is most important. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Take care and please come back!

Janet

Luke Stats

Age: SIX

Height: 44 inches

Weight: 40 lbs (he gained a whopping 2 lbs since last year.. he's got a tiny little body and a big ol' head.)

Favorites--

Color: Blue

Animal: cheetah and rhino

Food: homemade breadsticks, pizza

Movies: Star Wars and (still) Transformers..

Books: anything Star Wars or Transformers.. (but I can't complain when they're chapter books!)

TV show: star wars the clone wars..

Game: Pin the Light Saber on the Jedi, Hullaballoo, Pictureka, War, Guess Who.. this list could go on and on and on.

Superhero: Spiderman

Primary song: Once there was a cactus... (a desert version of the snowman song done in reverse order..)

Past time: Playing on the computer. He's our computer whiz!

Star Wars character: Anakin Skywalker

Transformer: Brawl

Favorite Birthday Present: Transformer pj's (he's wearing them in the middle picture...thanks Grandma Bev!)

Best Feature: (according to his mom) Big eyes and long, curled eyelashes. He's a beauty! His smile comes in a close second, though.

Funniest things said by Luke on his birthday: Thank goodness our last name isn't SCUM-WAY!

Family Award: Best scripture reader (shh! don't tell Ben!) Luke is such a fast reader and it's rare when he needs help sounding something out. The other night, I captured him reading on video.. sorry about BIG FOOT in the way....

And since we're sharing videos, I am also posting my favorite Luke clip. I realize many of you have seen this but even though it's sideways, I just can't get enough! Luke was TWO and was just starting to read small words. I honestly don't know HOW his little mind functions, but he learned to spell his name completely on his own.. And the pledge is another story. Seriously, how cute is this little face?

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six years with Luke

Dear Adorable Luke,

Spending the past six years with you has been nothing but a blessing. I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone and how quickly you've grown up. When we found out we were having baby boy #2, we were set on the name Issac. In fact, your ultrasound picture and gift cards are addressed to "baby Issac". But as your due date approached, your Dad and I felt strongly that you were not an Ike. When we saw your darling little face and tiny body (at 6 lbs 1 oz) we knew immediately that Luke was your name. Months later, I came across the meaning of Luke- "bringer of light" and I realized that we had most definitely chosen the right name. You have been a DELIGHT since day one and there is no doubt that our home would be dim without you as a part of our family.

You were born into chaos. Your older brother was only 19 months at the time.. and I was in the middle of my last semester of college. I was sleep-deprived, over-worked and borderline psycho! Before you arrived, I didn't know HOW I was going to manage adding more to the mix. But you were my miracle baby. It doesn't make sense, but when you were born, my life became easier.. You calmed the chaos and set me at ease. Easy-breezy has been your motto, Lukey. You slept through the night at two weeks. You went with the flow, ate anything put in front of you and became instant best friends with your big bro. Like the rest of the world, Benny adored you from the beginning.

Literally from the first time I held you, I knew you were something special. Two days after you were born, I had to leave you at the hospital so you could sleep under a bed of lights. I was devastated and I cried all the way home. I hated seeing you motionless under those lights without anything on except miniature sunglasses and a diaper. The only time someone could hold you was when it was time to eat... So every three hours, I would drive to the hospital to be there for feeding time. When I arrived for a particular 3 am shift, one of your nurses scolded me for coming. She told me that I was crazy and that I should be taking this time to get some much needed sleep. But it wasn't an option for me. I was your mom and I wanted to hold my sweet baby whenever I had the chance! I will never forget carrying you back to the mother's lounge, removing your hospital cap (and teeny-tiny sunglasses) and rocking you that night. I told you (out loud) that I would always be here for you. I would do anything you needed me to.. no matter the cost. You looked at me with your big, brown eyes (which happened to be super crossed!) and I knew you understood what I was saying. I felt (and still do feel) like you communicate through your striking, dark eyes... (crossed only on occasion now :) I've told you this story many times. I often wonder if you get bored with it, but a few weeks ago, I overheard you telling Zack, "She came to the hospital in the middle of the night and wouldn't let the nurse feed me a bottle!" Hearing you repeat the story melted my heart-- and that's something you do frequently.

You have always been a lover boy. I used to call you my baby chimpanzee because your arms and legs were Velcro-ed around my neck and waist at all times. You never wanted to go anywhere that I wasn't.. and I grew quite accustomed to my little buddy. I remember one afternoon in church feeling so disappointed because it was time for you to go to nursery.. and I wasn't willing to give you up. You would sit on my lap the entire three hours of church and not make a sound. You would play with my hair and give me lots of hugs and kisses and I loved every minute of it. We were both so upset when I had to drop you off and leave you to play with toys! I watched you through the window and felt like the time had passed too quickly. And here we are.. days later... celebrating birthday number six! You've grown up so fast!

You knew the entire alphabet at ONE, you were swimming across the pool at age TWO, you were reading at THREE... and it didn't stop there! Do you know that in your six years of life you have NEVER thrown a tantrum? You're so even tempered and such a great communicator that throwing a fit would be completely out of character. That's pretty incredible. You never cease to amaze us with your quick wit and intelligent mind. But you don't care to impress, you never want to be the center of attention and the LAST thing you need is a compliment. Your self-esteem is rock solid and I love that about you. You are always comfortable being you... and any attention is too much attention. Last week, Daddy and I asked you if we could take you out for your birthday, just the three of us. We offered to celebrate any way you wanted, you just needed to name the place. You looked at Ben and Zack, then back at Daddy and I and frankly said, "Um... No thanks." Daddy and I burst out with laughter as you shrugged your shoulders. We should have known better!

Luke, I want you to know how MUCH I enjoy being your mom. Every day, I feel grateful to have such a sweet, silly and calm little boy. You've set the peaceful tone in our home. You are a wonderful friend to your brothers and such a bright spot in our lives. And even though you tear up every time we talk about it, eventually, you are going to be a grown man... ready to leave the house and take on the world. I'm sure when that day comes, I will be crying like I was when I left you at the hospital or when I watched through the window while you played in nursery. Sooner or later, you will outgrow your little boy obsessions and you'll be too big to give me one of your famous run hugs-- so I will enjoy them while I can!! I don't know what lies in your future, but I know you have much to offer the world! How lucky I am to have your love, friendship and light in my life.

Happy Birthday, crazy kid. I will always be here for you... no matter what.

Much love,

Mom

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