the perfect saturday

8 AM-- Breakfast with three bright eyed boys.. (scrambled eggs and french toast)

9 AM-- Temple session with the husband

NOON-- Swimming with some of our favorite girls.


1 PM- Lunch at the pool. (delish turkey sandwiches, chips, cold drinks, cookies)

3 PM-- Quick shower, long afternoon nap

5 PM-- Eat popsicles

6 PM-- Grill out with the family (hamburgers, hot dogs, salad, corn on the cob)


7 PM-- Watermelon for dessert! Nothing says summer like a juicy, red melon!

8 PM-- Watch a ridiculous episode of WIPEOUT. I love when Ben laughs so hard he can't breathe.

9 PM-- Play an intense game of "Go Dinosaur" with the kids. Winner=Zack
Z: Benny, do you have any pro-to-cer-a-tops?
B: Go Dinosaur.
Z: O, man!

10 PM-- Read Fablehaven until the exhausted kids start snoring.

11 PM-- Play cards in bed with the husband. We invented our own strip-style version of Racko :)

MIDNIGHT-- stay up talking about the perfect day, our car troubles, our blessings.

eventually fall asleep........

(Yes. when documenting a PERFECT day, you must always include the menu..)

YADSRUHT

We were supposed to be on the road today, but our van is still sick. Instead we hung out at the pool and collected a few more freckles. Zack is loving the water and is becoming quite the little swimmer. I have to beg him to put on floaties so I can relax and stop worrying about him drowning.. He eventually agreed to wear his Spiderman "muscles" and also managed to pull his Batman towel in the pool with him. He thought it would be an excellent idea to dry off in the wet towel. After a minute or two, he was shivering terribly. I wrapped him up in my warm towel and made him lay next to me.. I firmly told him swimming hours were over. He looked at me with the cutest face, put one finger in the air and said,

"I promise, if I jump in one more time, I will not SHIV even once!"

It was probably one of those you-had-to-be-there-moments but I don't want to forget it.

The later part of the afternoon, the older boys got on this BACKWARDS kick. They started reading their books backwards to see how funny they could sound. A few swear words were said without them realizing it and I had to laugh. It reminded me of the other night while reading Fablehaven before bedtime... the phrase was "a fairy darted across the pond" and I accidentally said, "a dairy farted across the pond." They thought that was the funniest thing EVER. And this past weekend, Luke was getting Zack excited about the Aquarium in Long Beach and asked him if he would be afraid of the SHary SCarks. I think they said that phrase at least 10 times throughout the day. Just when I thought their backward-ness had lost it's funny, they realized each of them had new backward names. For several hours they called each other NEB, EKUL (pronounced E-Cool) and KAZZ. I was just MOM because mom backwards isn't exciting... but as soon as Daddy came home from work, they were all running to the door saying, "How was your day, NORA?"

When dinner rolled around, they thought they were brilliant by announcing that since it was backwards day, dessert should be eaten first... I told them that since it was backwards day, they were in charge of making dinner and I would complain about every bite--

Californication...

We made a quick trip to the Cali coast for Memorial Day. I packed everything we needed-- but somehow forgot the camera. Back in my blogging-crazy days, I would have been really upset, but I am now mature enough to shrug it off and hope someone sends me pictures. There are a few things I want to remember about the trip- with or without a picture to show for it..

• Watching Luke play in the sand at Huntington beach. His legs were spread far apart and he was filling his swimsuit with sand. I sat back and watched as one of his hands opened his suit and the other hand shoveled HUGE amounts of sand inside. After it seemed there was no more room for another grain of sand, I watched him punch it down over and over so he could shovel in more. Boys are so odd! After he filled his pants to the brim, he stood up and shook it out.... and then started all over again. What a creative little child I have.
  

• Zack's lips chattering in the hotel pool. Living in Vegas makes every other place seem FREEZING. The pool temperature was great for everyone else, but we were shivering our booties off. I finally convinced Zack it was time to get out of the pool. I took off his goggles and floaties and wrapped him in a big, warm towel. The MINUTE he was dry, he dropped the towel and jumped back in the pool. Luckily, Aaron was close enough to save him from drowning.. cause I wasn't about to jump back in that freezing pool to save him.

• All three kids talking in their sleep. The only conversation I really remember was Ben adamantly screaming, "I'm Sandman! I'm Sandman! Luke, can't you see, I'm Sandman?" Ben always gets so giggly when we tell him what he said the night before. I teased Luke all weekend that he was talking about Barbies in his sleep. He wasn't about to fall for it... but after the 5th time or so, he pulled me aside and quietly asked, "Mom, I didn't really dream about Barbies, did I?" Nope.

• The transmission in our van went out-- as soon as we arrived in Cali. Yes it did... on Memorial weekend. Luckily (we think) we found some random guy who was willing to fix it over the holiday. It turned out to be a much more expensive trip than we had planned... oi.
  

• Driving around with Aaron's parents all weekend. I am so grateful they had a vehicle to take us everywhere while our car was in the shop. Aaron's dad drives like he's competing in NASCAR. It's usually a treat, but after eating a late meal of gross grilled chicken, I couldn't handle sitting in the back seat. As soon as we pulled up to the hotel, I found the closest garbage can to throw up. I don't think I will ever eat KFC again.

• Zack had a red racoon mask around his eyes all weekend-- a permanent one. He HATES when I put sunscreen on his face and always rubs around his eyes, so I was particularly careful when I applied it at the beach. A few hours later, his cute face was still white and the areas around his eyes were totally burned. I am such a bad mom!

• Of course, the highlight of the trip (and the reason why we went in the first place) was meeting our newest family member.. baby Sebastian. Aaron's side of the family is finally starting to give our boys some cousins! Yeah!

• Sebastian's baby blessing on Sunday was very special and I am so glad we were able to attend (car problems and all.) During sacrament meeting at Brett and Kate's ward, Zack almost died after choking on a lifesaver. We joked later about how ironic it would have been had he died from a lifesaver.

• And last but not least, we spent a few hours at the Aquarium in Long Beach. It would have been amazing had there not been a gazillion people there. We were able to pet sharks and sting ray and see some pretty cool jellyfish... but it brings me back to the philosophy that you should never attend museums/amusement parks when everyone else is on vacation. That's one huge benefit of homeschooling-- you can travel when everyone else is in the classroom. Thumbs down to crowds.
  

All in all, it was a great trip. I love my in-laws and wish we lived closer to each other! I love taking road trips with my kids and especially my handsome husband. Aaron was surprised at how chill I was about our car problems, but I grew up expecting the car to break down on vacation. I swear, my family spent at LEAST one night every trip at a random hotel waiting for the car to get fixed. So goes.

It's amazing how a few nights away can make such a difference in the day-to-day routine. I feel rejuvenated. The laundry is washed and put away and I am ready to start packing for my next trip. Utah and Washington, here I come! June is a busy month for us... Have I mentioned how much I LOVE SUMMERTIME???

Everything is amazing, nobody is happy

Hilarious... and so true.

mr mischievous

Luke is so random and funny. It's not that he's defiant because honestly he's the sweetest thing ever-- but he takes direction as a mere suggestion. He might do what you say, but if he has a better idea, then your instructions mean nothing to him. It's really hard for me to discipline him because he's so darn cute and sweet. But he's NOT innocent. He knows how to be sneaky and he cuts corners like it's going out of style.. Aaron and I constantly talk about how to best raise him.. but I think he's going to be his own person no matter what we do.

An example of his "rebelliousness" happened a few nights ago. We've been really bad about getting to bed on time. Zack usually crawls under his covers before he's gone potty.. and once he's curled up, he doesn't want to get up. which is bad news if you want your sheets to stay dry. The other night, I was laying next to them and told Zack that if he would go into their bathroom and pee, we would give him a score from one to ten. If he peed a lot, he would get a TEN. That motivated him enough to get up and go. When he was finished, Ben wanted to be scored... so he went and we did (I think they both got a 7 or 8.) Last, but definitely not least, it was Luke's turn. Ben, Zack and I laid next to each other and listened to Luke pee on the other side of the wall. When he started going, we laughed our heads off. Luke's pee sounded like a waterfall. It was SO LOUD and lasted forever. When he came back to bed, we told him his score was off the charts-- somewhere around a 75. Luke smiled and said, "Sometimes I just have to go a LOT." I totally believed him because the kid only pees like once a day..

The next morning as we were eating breakfast, Ben mentioned something about how Luke was the best pee-er in the family. Luke cracked a big smile and said, "I tricked all of you!" When I asked him what he meant, he explained that he had a huge water gun (the machine kind) and instead of peeing, he actually shot the gun into the toilet. Then he came back to bed acting like he peed, when he never even pulled down his pants. Sure enough he led me up to the bathroom and his water gun was laying next to the toilet. I could not stop laughing because somehow he filled it up without us knowing. He said that when Ben was going to the bathroom, he got the idea.. grabbed the gun and filled it up in the bathroom sink without anyone seeing. He seriously fooled us all and I wonder if he ever would have come clean. You never know with him. Obviously, this wasn't something I would "punish" him for-- because it was hilarious... but he thinks he can get away with anything and most of the time I don't realize he's playing me until after all is said and done. He is so mischievous, but you would never guess looking at his cute face. What am I gonna do with him?

Art 101

A couple of other totally radical homeschooling moms and I are doing rotating classes for the kids... We each take a day of the week (and a fun subject) and teach the whole group. It's been great for the kids because they get to see their fave friends everyday and even better for the moms because we get a break!

My kids have really enjoyed the art class taught by the ever-talented Sabrina. These pictures were taken a couple of weeks ago. She taught them Pollock painting. Luke wasn't feeling well that day, so he missed out. And Zack went dressed as Batman.. I didn't realize until I dropped them off that Batman was actually Captain Commando.. When he put on his costume, he apparently took off his underwear :)

A few days ago, Sabrina taught them about Mary Cassatt-- an impressionist who loved to paint women and children. Sabrina gave the kids an assignment to draw a mother and child.. Ben, being the kiss-up that he is, drew a picture of his mom holding him as a baby. It's really sweet... and disturbing at the same time. As soon as I walked through the door, Sabrina had to pull me aside and show me his masterpiece.

Not only did he portray me as an Egyptian with Angelina Jolie lips and freckles the size of quarters-- but I am not wearing a shirt... and my breasts are totally lop-sided! When I asked Ben why he only drew me in a bra, he said, "You have a skirt on too!" My bad.

This is Luke's version of a mother and child.... don't ask.

friendly or foolish?

First off, let me say that I NEVER intended on taking pictures. But since others had their cameras at church... I figured I might as well get a copy for myself.. and post them for the world to see.

I have been promoted to the office of Sister Friendly in our ward Primary. With the busy schedule I had last week, I seriously didn't have time to think about it until Saturday night. I literally packed the kids in the car and headed to Savers (thrift store) ten minutes before it closed. I searched through the racks and came up with this... the sad part is that I actually wore it. I asked the kids if they think my name should be Sister Beautiful instead of Sister Friendly. They adamantly shook their heads in disagreement.


The best part about dressing up as Sister Friendly was watching my own boys squirm in their chairs as I talked to the Primary. They obviously knew it was me and could NOT keep a straight face. Luke was trying so hard not to smile, but he gave in a few times. Ben took it all very seriously and pinky-promised that he wouldn't give my identity away. When he answered one of my questions right, I said that he must have a very smart mom to teach him so well. He smiled, but didn't say a word.

I will get to dress up every month and make a fool of myself. To tell you the truth, I am really nervous about the whole thing. I don't mind speaking in public and teaching a lesson in Primary is a cinch, but doing it as someone else intimidates me. I don't act or know how to speak with an accent... but after a while, I am sure I will get used to it. And I think I have my husband convinced that Sister Friendly needs a guest-host every once in a while. Aaron is the real entertainer and gets kids to laugh just by walking in the room. Obviously, he won't wear such an extravagant outfit... but you never know after a few bribes in the bedroom. I know how to work my magic.

psychic or psycho?

A couple of weeks ago I went to the local grocery store to pick up a few items. As I was putting my things on the express lane, a funny (looking) older woman with white-blonde hair and pink eyeliner talked to my three boys.. She asked them their names and ages and made a bit of small talk. As she rang up the items, she told me that I was lucky to have such fantastic boys. I agreed and proceeded to pay for the items and be on my way. But before she handed me the receipt, she said, "No. I really believe they are wonderful children." Again, I said that I was going to hang onto them and thanked her for her kindness. She looked me straight in the eyes and gave a half smile as she said, "Three beautiful boys and a girl on the way." I was totally speechless and said something like, "Excuse me?"

She replied, "You are expecting, aren't you?" I said that I was. She then said matter-of-factly, "You must know it's a girl." I laughed as I said, "Nope. We don't know that." I never have a problem talking to strange strangers, but this was awkward for me because my groceries were bagged and in my cart and there were impatient customers behind me (particularly a man purchasing fresh flowers) and I hated to keep them waiting. I said something short like, "I will keep my fingers crossed" and turned around. She then raised her voice so she could continue the conversation and said, "Oh, you KNOW it's a girl. Deep down, you know it." I could not help but laugh out loud as I walked away. Again, she said even louder, "Please come back when you find out that it is." I smiled as I pushed the cart out to my car... not because I was excited to finally be having a girl, but because I had just had a conversation with a crazy lady. I called Aaron on my way home and he told me not to get my hopes up. I shrugged it off and thought it amusing.

Today I just happened to be back in the same grocery store. I only had Luke with me this time and made sure to get in her lane even though I had to wait. As I approached she recognized me right away and said, "Where are your other two boys?" I explained that they were playing at a friends house and I was spending a little bit of one-on-one time with my 6 year old. (There's nothing like mommy & me trip to the dentist :) I could hardly wait to tell her that we had an ultrasound of our baby and it was indeed another BOY. Her reaction was priceless. She didn't bat an eyelash as she said, "Oh no, honey. Your doctor is wrong." I told her that I was very familiar with what boy parts look like and that I was sure. As serious as possible, she laid down my receipt and said, "You must have seen swollen girl parts, sweetie."

I walked away smiling and told her only time will tell.. On the drive home, half of me was convinced that I should go back to the doctor and make him give me another ultrasound. But I know what I saw and it's pretty hard to mistake two little balls and a stick for something else. If those are picture of my little girl, she's gotta be mighty swollen. Honestly, I am just at a loss for words. There is not an ounce of me that is disappointed in the ultrasound results, but what if we were mistaken? Then again, if this crazy lady is so sure of herself, why is she working in a grocery check out lane instead of stealing people's money doing psychic readings?

When I was just a few weeks pregnant with Luke, my dear Korean friend told me I was having another boy. I didn't even know I was expecting and when I missed that first period, I seriously KNEW it was another son. I didn't even need an ultrasound because I believed my friend. Sometimes people just know. I also have a sis-in-law who was told she was having a baby girl by a Vegas' gas station attendant. Sure enough, a few months later, a baby girl joined their family. I believe some people have special gifts and may be able to read auras. But how do you separate the crazies from the truly inspired? I don't know... but I will find out soon enough. If it does happen to be a girl with swollen parts, I am definitely going back to take a picture with my psychic and ask for her autograph. If she isn't right, I will make sure to take baby boy #4 grocery shopping with me and pull down his diaper to finally convince her that she's wrong and needs a new hobby.

After assessing my ultrasound pictures, don't you think it's obviously a manly baby? Have you ever had pregnancy predictions or psychic readings? Part of me wants to believe her, but common sense tells me that anyone who wears pink eyeliner everyday isn't playing with a full deck of cards........

this is what I get for having all boys...

Throwing a ward Mexican Fiesta, taking care of a crippled husband (he sprained his ankle again), trying to stay cool in this triple-digit weather, keeping the house clean, homeschooling, dealing with 24-hour morning sickness and keeping three boys happy and healthy makes the time FLY BY! Another week has come and gone.. and I don't have any pictures to show for it.

Priorities are priorities and the only thing that NEEDS to be documented are the priceless conversations we had with our kids...

****

Zack has been talking about being a big brother NON-STOP. Over dinner he was listing all the things he's going to teach his new little apprentice. He said (and I quote) "I will teach him to WALK, and to LAUGH, and to PLAY WITH TOYS and to STAB THINGS!"

****

Ben can't stand any food on his plate touching another item. He usually likes all of the ingredients, but wants to eat them separately. Luke on the other hand, is the king of mixing his entire plate into one gooey mess before he takes a bite. Last night, Luke decided that he wanted to mix drinks... He already had a glass of Kool-aid but thought it would be tasty to scoop a spoonful of chocolate milk powder in it. The thought alone made me sick, but I thought he would learn his lesson after he tasted his new creation. He mixed it up and took a big swig. Then he said, "Hmmm. That is so good. Zack do you want to have my yummy drink?" Aaron and I both knew Luke wasn't a fan, but Zack willingly agreed to take it from him and he swallowed a mouthful. You could tell by the look on Zack's face that he was surprised by what he tasted. But he smiled big and screamed, "It tastes like a TOOSTIE POP!" I loved his enthusiasm that wondered if it just might be the new thing.... ?

****

While deciding who should say evening prayers, Ben pleaded, "Don't choose me!" I found that interesting because he is always the one who wants to say the prayer... (side note-- he says the LONGEST prayers and I usually find myself cutting him off in the middle and telling him to just end it. I am so unrighteous. Aaron often kicks me under the table and gives me the EYE that says, "act like a grown up and be patient.") Anyway, after I questioned Ben about his sudden dislike in saying the prayer, he explained that he hoped by saying, "Don't choose me" someone would pick him thinking it would make him mad, when really that's what he wanted in the first place. This led to a long discussion on reverse psychology. As I was explaining the concept (they already knew it, I was just giving it a title) I looked over at Luke and saw a light bulb turn on in that big head of his.. He then said, "I get it! If you hate your mom and you don't want to do what she says, then you act like you love her and she won't make you do anything." Aaron and I could not stop laughing. I am hoping he was just giving an example of WHAT IF, but you never know.. It was such a shock to hear those words come out of my #1 sweet child. Maybe he has been playing me all these years...

Minutes later, as if he wanted to put salt in the wound, Ben made everyone chose ONE person in the family to live on a desert island with.. (this was inspired by the finale of Survivor, BTW) All three of my boys chose DADDY. I am glad they like their dad and all.... but doesn't anybody think I am of value? Do they know that mac and cheese is not a meal option on a desert island? I think Ben felt a little bad after everyone left me hanging and he said, "Sorry mom.. But I would need Dad just in case I got lost and.... his stories at night are much better than yours." So glad he clarified..

BOYS are what we do best.

It's pretty early to give an official medical opinion,
but I know BOY PARTS when I see them...

The best part about the ultrasound (besides Zack squealing every time he saw movement) was watching the baby chow his thumb. At one point he coughed and both hands went up in the air and AS SOON as he was finished, that thumb scrambled back to his mouth.


Our boys LOVED being there and could not stop giggling. Every time he moved, Zack would stand up on his chair and say, "He kicked! I saw him kick!" I think Ben was a bit disappointed that it wasn't a girl, but each time I asked him if he was sad, he defensively said, "NO.. but how sure are they?" Luke and Zack seem to be stoked about having another brother.

And let's be honest here...what little girl wants to join three older brothers who are obsessed with Transformers/Star Wars/Superheros? The thought of having to do pigtails or bows freaks me out. I don't know how to deal with my own hormones, let alone someone else's. But mostly, I keep thinking about this new little baby and how lucky he is to be joining the crew of boys. I feel truly grateful and I am counting each and every blessing. This little guy really is a miracle! Blessing #746- I don't need to buy ANYTHING for the new baby. We're all stocked up!

when your stomach really hurts, and you know that it's the squirts........

must write down before I forget..

Ben is the MEMORY king. It's not exactly photographic-- it's more verbal. When he hears something, he seriously files it away in his brain and it never leaves. This makes homeschooling pretty easy... but parenting him can sometimes be annoying because he pulls random facts out of nowhere.. and always holds me to my word (he will bring up things I said FOUR years ago during some unusual circumstance and I hate having to explain why things are now different... just let me bet the parent and do what I say!)

These past few months, our homeschooling group of friends have been doing rotating classes for the older kids. Today is the ice cream party for those who have passed off ALL 50 State capitals in their social studies group. Ben has known his capitals for at least a year--- he learned them completely on his own, with no coaching from me. (I believe we had a United States place mat a while back and Ben took it upon himself to memorize them.) Luke knows most of them, but that's only because Ben really wants him to go to the party and has been quizzing him the past couple of weeks. I swear to you, ten minutes after waking up this morning, Ben was already giving Luke a pop quiz. I was laying next to them in bed when this conversation took place.

Ben: I know you know Mississippi.
Luke: groan.
Ben: Luke, just think of ME... more like my middle name.
Luke: Oh duh. Jackson.
Ben: Good. Now South Dakota. You always have a hard time remembering this.
Luke: Give me a hint.
Ben: hmm. when you have to go to the bathroom really bad.

Luke takes a long pause and then his eyebrows raise as if he's finally figured out the answer. Then his cute morning voice says:

DIARRHEA....?

It took several minutes for us to stop laughing... Zack particularly thought it was funny and kept repeating "The capital of South Dakota is DIARRHEA. Ha!" Ben finally calmed down and informed us all that no state capital would be that gross.

The capital of SD is, in fact, PEE-AIR.

discombobulated.

so much is going on, but I just don't have the strength or energy to talk about it. I don't think I've taken a picture with my camera in a few weeks. and that's too bad because my boys are cute and they are growing up so fast.

to answer a few of your baby questions:

Due date is Nov 15th. that makes me 14-ish weeks.

I have been sick for 13.5 of those 14 weeks. I throw up 5-6 times a week.. sometimes if I am lucky, I throw up 5-6 times a day.

My sleeping habits have been completely screwed.. this is my main complaint. I usually wake up around 2 am and can't fall back asleep until 6 am or so.. which makes my life so insane!

I sleep in as long as I possibly can in the mornings. My kids are SO good to me. I often wake up to Ben telling the other two "SHHH! You know mom doesn't feel good!" I seriously love them all and I feel so blessed to have another.

Thank you for sending all your girl vibes my way. After wanting a baby for so long and having a few miscarriages, I can officially say that I would be THRILLED with another boy... absolutely tickled pink. I would even be patient enough to wait until it's born to find out the sex of the baby, but my kids are pretty anxious... they ask EVERYDAY how much longer before we know what it is.

Ben and Luke want a GIRL.
Zack demands it's a BOY.
the heart rate indicates it's a GIRL.
the Chinese calendar says it's a BOY.
Aaron thinks it is a GIRL.
I am pretty sure it's a BOY. (that's all I know, really.)
Some psychic (psycho) check-out lady at the grocery store is determined it's a GIRL.

Tomorrow morning, the kids and I will go in for an ultrasound. 14 weeks is pretty early to find out-- but we saw Luke's boy parts at 12 weeks, so you never know. I am just happy to be pregnant- even after all this morning/afternoon/evening sickness. I am taking it easy, not stressing about anything except putting food on the table and keeping my kids happy.

Life is good.. but apparently not good enough to keep a daily record :)

Mother's Day Eve

It's not yet officially Mother's Day, but I already feel s.p.o.i.l.e.d.


Aaron wined and dined me two nights in a row with dates..
(3 nights if you include free KFC meals :)

Ben has showered me with several of his famous homemade cards.

Luke picked me flowers from someone else's beautiful yard and gave me a foot rub.

Zack has slobbered me with a million boogery kisses.

And if that wasn't enough, my favorite gift so far has been heaven sent.

A new baby is scheduled to join our family in November.

I could not be happier or feel more blessed.

What's a nice girl like me doing in a dump like this?

I woke up this morning afternoon and found my three year old in the kitchen trying to chug a gallon of milk. I didn't say anything, because I knew his toothpick arms wouldn't be able to lift the gallon high enough to create a disaster. I watched him struggle and tilt his head as far as he could while still holding his mouth to the rim. After a minute, he put the milk down, took a deep breath and said,

"I guess that's only what dads does. It's not for little kids."

I laughed out loud, wiped off the rim and put it back in the fridge. As Zack was skipping away, he said,

"If you laugh at me again, I will put on my Hulk hands and punch you in the face."

Sometimes I wonder WHERE I lost control of my house. But then again, I didn't really get out of bed today until noon (I must have the swine flu.) I really can't get mad at my kids for making a mess over breakfast when I am not around to supervise.

And even though I should be scolding and putting my child in time out for threatening to punch me in the face, I know that I could whip him if ever he challenged me to a fight. I just find it amazing that overnight I have become the leader of a messy house with grown-up kids who call me mom. I often find myself saying "What's a nice girl like ME doing in a dump like THIS?" It's a quote from Erma Bombeck. I think I will get it in vinyl lettering and hang it in my kitchen..

what the duck

Happy Cinco de Mayo, amigos.

Last night we celebrated early by eating at Cafe Rio for dinner. Delicioso! On our way home we stopped at our favorite duck pond. We didn't exactly bring bread, but the ducks chowed our leftover chips and salsa.

There were only three ducks in the pond. I guess everyone else migrated somewhere warmer.. ? We noticed there was a lot of contention between the two male ducks. Aaron and I narrated while they fought over the hot chick-duck. Apparently the stronger male won and he made his way over to the female... but she didn't want him. She pecked at him and swam faster, but he was persistent. He tried getting on top of her and she went underwater... and then she flew away. He chased after her in the air for a good two minutes.. I have never seen ducks fly like that. He was seriously attacking her mid-air. Eventually she gave up and he cornered her in the pond. She quacked over and over as he forced himself on top of her and did his thang. Our boys always love to watch a good duck fight, but they had no idea what was actually happening... and we didn't explain.

I remember when I was about 6 or so and was at Hogle Zoo with my family. From a distance, we heard what sounded like a cheetah being slaughtered. She was growling and yelping so loud, we couldn't help but find her cage and see what was going on. When we found a male cheetah on top of her, my mom was so embarrassed she tried to pull the kids away, but we wanted to know what was happening. She explained that's how they have babies. I was in shock. It was obvious the girl cheetah didn't WANT a baby! Where was the zoo keeper? Why didn't he put that male in another cage??? NO never means YES, boys!

Over the years, that shock has turned into anger. Who does that dominating male duck think he is? On the drive home I decided that I am going to become an activist against ANIMAL RAPE. I am sure our government has enough money in the stimulus package for duck prisons.. All we really need is a big cage... those horny male ducks need to know that there are consequences for their actions. This is about principles and morals and freedom to swim the pond without feeling like you're a piece of meat. I don't care if the freakin' ducks go extinct. At least the females will die happy.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

Today I tried out to be a contestant on the Wheel of Fortune. Yes, I really did. America's most popular game show is coming to Vegas in July to tape 4 weeks of shows. I tried recruiting a few friends to go with me, but no one else was interested... including my husband who took my kids hiking instead. So I went solo.

The tryouts were fun. It wasn't so much about solving the puzzles as it was showing off your personality. And even though I am a superb puzzle-solver, it's the personality I like to deliver. When asked what I like to do for fun, instead of giving the boring answers that everyone else gave (reading, bike riding, cruising around on the strip) I told them about the time I did the Heimlich on a total stranger.. Everyone cheered when I told them he was choking on a big piece of fried chicken. It was a toss-up between that and the fact that I am the world champion Starburst opener..

This was the first round of auditions. They will have call-backs in June and then the official taping in July. I am not holding my breath or anything, but you never know........ I might just win my million dollars after all. Oh, and one week of taping is for Sweethearts only... you better believe I will drag my husband on that stage if we get chosen. There are certain sacrifices you have to make when you are married to me.

If Vanna White calls my cell, I will make sure to let you know. I think I have a good chance, considering that 80% of the people trying out were over the age of 80.. keep your fingers crossed for me.

zack is running for President.

Somehow, Easter came and went. We did all the usuals: dyed eggs, dressed in yellow on Sunday, and ate lots of chocolate. We also attempted to take our boys to a massive Easter egg hunt at a local outdoor mall. It was a big event... apparently, every 30 minutes they "hid" 35,000 eggs (more like dumping them on the ground and letting the kids stomp all over each other to get one.) There was lots of free goodies and at least a thousand people standing around. I left my boys with their dad for about 10 minutes to go and buy a baby shower gift. When I returned, he talked them OUT of waiting in line for the Easter egg hunt and convinced them that going to lunch at In n' Out would be much more fun. I didn't argue. But before we left, Zack decided to hit the stage. There was a local radio station broadcasting at the event. They were having little kids get up on stage and sing karaoke while the hundreds of people waited in line. I asked the DJ if our three year old could say the Pledge instead of sing a song and he was so excited, he threw him on stage. I am so glad Aaron pulled out the camera to video it.... the sound is not great, but again, there were hundreds of people crowded around..