love notes

Ben and Luke are still constantly writing notes back and forth to each other, even though they spend 23 hours of the day in the same room. This one was about to get thrown away but I decided to scan it first. the PS's are my favorite..

Billy the Kid

it's amazing/scary how excited (and natural) he is with a gun.

super-sized art

This post should be titled "What we spent our time doing instead of packing, cleaning, folding laundry and getting ready for a road trip." Honestly, I am kind of sick thinking about what I didn't get done today. But these pictures make me a little happier about the mess we made.

Zack is the only one who didn't paint the outfit he was wearing. And I wouldn't expecting anything less creative (or messy) from this child. But I don't understand why he painted a T on his crotch? Terrific? Tantalizing?

Ben with socks only. Luke has shoes but no socks, Zack is barefoot and Simon has flip flops... Their feet are my favorite thing about this project because it perfectly describes how they walk out the door each and every day.

If pictures could talk you would hear Zack's energetic squeal saying, "Oh baby! I just tagged Luke in the privates!"

Here's hoping that tomorrow we do something a little more.... productive.

I am just like Octomom

I am going bananas in this house. no literally... B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Yesterday I was on the phone trying to clear a $2.10 (yes two dollars and ten cent) fine on our credit report that has been there for eight years, a fine that we've been (repeatedly) told will be removed. While I was on the phone, I wasn't paying attention to my busy toddler, who had climbed on top of the kitchen counter and gotten his grubby hands on a bunch of ripe bananas. Have you ever seen the kind of mess 8 bananas can make? Well, I wish I had pictures to show you, but it was such a disaster, I didn't want to document it. And that is saying something. Bananas were smashed all over our counter tops, bar stools, kitchen floor, carpets, rugs, couch cushions, pillows & walls. not to mention, in the fingers, toes and hairs of our little mess-maker.

To make matters worse, it happened right before dinnertime and Daddy walked through the door just as we were starting to clean it up. The good news is that Daddy walked through the door just in time to help us clean it up. It took about two hours to clean-- with five of us working (& trying to keep Simon from dumping out our buckets of soapy water.) Without going into more detail, it was the biggest mess I've had to clean as a mother... and that is saying something.

While I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the carpets, I kept thinking about a clip I saw of Octomom on Oprah. She was there with financial consultant Suze Orman who was lecturing her about having more children than she could handle. I was up to my elbows in banana-flavored goop when I realized that I am exactly like Octomom. I can't handle the children I already have, and yet... I am about to give birth to another. And the sad part is, I want more after this one. Am I a baby-addict? Is there some kind of medication you can take to keep you from making your life more chaotic than it already is? Yes, there is. It's called birth control.

The media loves to make fun of Octomom, and I can see why people think she's irresponsible and crazy. But I think, on some level, we criticize because it makes us feel better about our own pathetic decisions. We buy things we can afford, eat unhealthy foods when we're trying to lose weight, and have more children when we should stop. Which brings me to a funny story.

Last month, I was walking in the mall with my four boys. I never go to the mall, but I wanted a new maternity swimsuit and was hoping I could find something at Motherhood. After no such luck, I walked out of the store and almost ran over an old man (who wasn't watching where he was going) with my stroller. He was a grumpy old man who pointed his wrinkly finger at me and said, "Someone should have told you this long ago. You should be finished. No more kids for you." I was so shocked by what he said that I couldn't say anything.. I just stood there speechless as he stormed off. Later I laughed it off as I told my husband about the crazy old man who didn't know what he was talking about. But after yesterday, I am starting to think he has a point.

magic trick

after Simon's bath this morning, he sat down to play with Ben's magic cards while I grabbed a clean diaper and a new outfit. When he stood up, we couldn't help but be amazed by a trick he came up with all by himself. The boys and I laughed so hard and quickly took a picture to send to Daddy at work. If that's not magic then what is?

feeling grateful

I literally have hundreds of pictures to upload from our summer field trips and activities... And I will eventually get around to it, but this morning (before we head out the door to make pizza at California Pizza Kitchen) I want to quickly share two.


Aaron and I had the opportunity to go to Girls Camp on Friday evening. It was so fun to be there with the darling girls in our ward and share in their testimony meeting. Sam and Keyonna are no longer in our ward boundaries-- but we love them like daughters and see them often (they are in many of the hundreds of pictures I still need to upload.) This picture was taken during a little fireside before testimony meeting. Aaron had a hard time being serious and kept making the girls laugh during the very spiritual talks..


While sitting through testimony meeting, it was hard for me to come to grips with the fact that I am no longer 15 anymore. The memories I made at girls camp are some of the best of my teenage years... and I still love (and keep in touch with) many of the friends I made in my ward growing up. I was so lucky to live where I lived and associate with such wonderful people. I had the BEST leaders who sacrificed so much so that we could make the memories we did. so grateful for them and the influence they've had on my life.

As I sat next to my husband, trying to stay warm, I couldn't help but wish for everyone of these young women to grow up and meet their own Prince Charming who will love them and take care of them. During my testimony I told them if I could give them any advice, it would be to find a NICE guy who will respect them and treat them kindly. Some may have crushes on handsome, popular, athletic guys-- but if they aren't respectful and kind, none of that really matters.

After girls camp, our weekend was really busy. We didn't get to relax much and it seemed like Aaron was so busy helping neighbors move, doing pro-bono lawyer stuff and serving in his calling. But when he arrived home late on Sunday afternoon, all was right in the world. We had a yummy Sunday dinner and then took our kids (and dog) on a long walk. Simon started out riding in the wagon, but ended up pulling all three of his brothers for the majority of the walk. Sunny was hyper and happy, each of our kids were laughing and I was feeling the little girl inside my tummy kick away. I know I am living the rich life.

When we came home from our walk, we made no-bake cookies and had a light-saber war (kids against adults, kids won). We read scriptures, put Simon back in his crib a dozen times and said prayer together as a family. The kids slept in a fort in the loft and Aaron and I stayed up until 1 AM recording hilarious voice messages on our phones to use for our alarms the next morning. I was laughing so hard... mostly because Aaron can sound exactly like James Earl Jones when he wants to.

Today is the beginning of a new week and there is a lot on the schedule. This stage in our lives can be exhausting at times, but I hope I am taking advantage of the here and now. Before I know it, another 15+ years will have slipped by as quickly as the last 15 have passed. I feel deeply grateful for the people who have shaped my childhood, the little children who have turned me into a mother and the nice guy who has made all my wildest dreams come true.

BEN TEN

My first baby has reached the age of double digits. He's definitely mature enough to be a ten year old, but it's crazy to think that I've been a mother for a decade. The first thing he said on the morning of the 4th of July was, "I can't believe my age finally rhymes with my name." As if he's been waiting his whole life for something so magical.

Last year I swore I wouldn't spend another Independence Day in Vegas... but the closer it got, the more we didn't want to travel. We stayed put and I am so glad we did. The weather totally cooperated with us. and we were able to celebrate his birthday all week long without doing anything too extravagant.

He had a friend party a few nights before the big day. It was thrown together very last minute because the week before we were struck down with a bad flu bug (everyone got sick except for Ben.) We emailed a bunch of the older kids in the neighborhood and had an evening of pizza, games and cake. There was no theme or decorations or party bags. Just a bunch of kids having a good time together.

Pictured above, clockwise: Ben, Bryson, Mason, Luke, Kyla, Landon, Simon,
Erick, Zack, Tonito, Izabel, Greg, Madilyn.

They played mafia, charades, the name game, four corners, and spent the majority of the time talking and laughing. There were 13 kids total, ages ranging from 5 to 12, and he insisted on inviting 3 females. (he doesn't realize that's weird to have girl friends, yet... hope he never does.)

Aaron had to work late the night of the party... and I should have been worried about handling all the kids on my own, but they were awesome. We realized at the end of the night that 2 hours is just not enough time for an adequate party. We barely had time for cake and had to rush through present opening.

His favorite gift from the party was a new swimsuit and neon goggles... he's become quite the swimmer and has gotten a lot of use of them this summer (one can never have too many swimsuits, you know.)

On the morning of his birthday, we celebrated early at a ward breakfast. I will post more pictures later, but Ben had an absolute blast squirting his friends with the fire hose and riding his bike around the church parking lot for the "kid's parade". He was also able to eat candy for the first time this year (he's going 12 months without sweets-- the only exceptions are 4th of July and Halloween). At the end of the day, he said, "I ate more candy than I could handle." Such a Ben thing to say...

We opened a few gifts at home before hitting the movies in the afternoon (because most of his gifts were treats to take to the theater.) Luke spent all his money on transformers for Ben and I loved watching their exchange as he opened them. They are the very best of friends.

Zack didn't buy Ben anything, but he did spend a good ten minutes blowing up an extremely large balloon for him-- and it was given and accepted with much enthusiasm. Unfortunately, it popped just a few minutes later...

The last present he opened was a BOX FAN and he could not have been more excited! Aaron and I giggled to ourselves because we were going to buy it anyway and figured we might as well wrap it up for Ben. He was seriously so thrilled and couldn't stop talking about how happy he was to have his own fan. You don't have to do very much to please this ten year old!

Aaron took the older boys to see the new Transformers after lunch. I would have joined them, but Simon needed a nap and I was happy to volunteer to stay home. But don't worry, the boys told me EVERYTHING that happened in the movie the minute they got home. No need to see it for myself :) I asked them if they liked Sam Witwicky's new girl friend (she's a victoria secret model apparently) and Ben said, "She was nice to everyone. Nicer than the first girl." Loved that answer. Let's hope being NICE to everyone stays at the top of his list of qualities to look for in women...

After the movies, we BBQ'd and swam with friends in Henderson... For those of you from WJ, does the girl in the picture above look like a Horner or what? Kristi and her family were so generous to let us crash their beautiful new home which had a great view of the firework show in Green Valley.

We did a few fireworks of our own, enjoyed the traditional flag cake and wore the kiddos out. They were all snoring on the drive home...

A few things to remember about Ben at age TEN:

• he's up at 6 am reading almost every morning (he's almost finished with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.)
• His jobs are finished before breakfast.
• He's still very organized with all of his belongings.
• He's the best pooper-scooper in the family.
• He giggles easily, especially at silly things his brothers say/do.
• He's an excellent babysitter, the best we've ever hired.
• He likes to go to bed early.
• His favorite show is Survivor.
• He's usually counting down until the next holiday/celebration/vacation/next season of Survivor. He's always aware of who's birthday or anniversary it is. The kid has a calendar in his head.
• He still makes up jokes daily, most of them are not worth repeating.
• He likes to hit garage sales with me on Saturday mornings.
• He loves to hear stories of his past and will often tell us things he can remember about his brother's growing up.
• He's SO excited for a baby sister.
• He's such a blessing to our family. I am particularly grateful he came first. He sets such a wonderful example for his siblings.

We're all crazy about you, Ben! So proud to be YOUR mom!

balance. moderation. total extremes.

I bought four 50% off gift certificates to Blurb a while back and they expire in a few weeks. Which means, I am spending the little free time that I have on finishing FOUR books. 2009 and 2010 are ready to print (400+ pages each) but 2005 and 2006 are taking me FOREVER because I didn't blog back then. Oh how I wish I did. I have been going through my handwritten journals and typing up stories that are family-history worthy and scrolling through old emails to my husband while he was in law school that are almost like blog entries. It's amazing how many funny stories I have forgotten about... and it's sad that I hardly have ANY pictures to go along with our fun adventures. I was sure to get out the camera for birthdays and holidays, but it's the everyday moments I wish I had on film. Oh well. no regrets. I am really grateful to have what I have...

Lately I am having a hard time finding a balance between doing absolutely nothing and doing way too much. Why does it have to be one or the other? Yesterday I went to bed so disappointed in myself. I had a list of things that really needed to be done (my fridge was completely empty, my house cluttered, etc.) I woke up with the best intentions, but I literally could not find ANY motivation in my pregnant body. The entire day passed without a thing getting done. When Aaron called to say he was on his way home, I almost started crying. He asked what was wrong and I told him that in order for me to make dinner, I would need some groceries. He told me to give him a list over the phone, but the list was so long that I ended up meeting him at the store. I filled up our cart as he kept the kids entertained and that was the ONLY productive thing I did all day. We had pizza for dinner and called it good. I went to bed feeling like a loser.

This morning I wouldn't allow another day like that. So-- I scrubbed my kitchen, loaded the dishwasher twice, vacuumed underneath the couches, got out the upholstery cleaner and scrubbed every cushion, swept down the stairs, cleaned out the boys closets, organized my files, got caught up with church responsibilities, drilled holes in my kitchen cabinets (handles for the drawers, knobs for the cupboards), scrubbed the toilets, vacuumed out my car, dusted everything, folded laundry, put clean sheets on all the beds, made pizza with the kids for lunch, had dinner in the oven by 3 (green chili enchiladas, black beans, brown rice and cilantro to spare), set the table by 4, was showered and clean by 5, ate with the family at 6, and was ready for visiting teaching at 7. Aaron went to play basketball at 8 and instead of putting the kids to bed, we tipped our spotless couches on their sides, made a ginormous fort, popped popcorn AND tried out a new recipe for homemade ice cream. I should feel be very proud of myself, but I am frustrated because I want to find some kind of balance in my life. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Am I bipolar? No, seriously.

My poor kids don't know what to do with me either. One day I am all party and games and the next I work them like slaves. They had a little bit of a break today, but I made them gut their rooms from top to bottom. Ben and Luke are great little helpers-- I could not survive without them at my heals asking how they can help. But Zack, on the other hand, is such a lazy child. I seriously don't know how to motivate him. Today they were all able to earn 2 solid hours of computer time.. Zack (who l.o.v.e.s playing lego star wars) wasn't having it. While Ben and Luke were playing, I helped him put all his toys in a pile. I could have easily put them away for him, but it was SO easy that I knew he could do it himself. I set a timer for 10 minutes and told him that if they weren't picked up and put in the right spot, they were going in the garbage. When the ten minutes were up, some of his very favorite toys were still on the floor... including his awesome pair of binoculars that he just bought with his own money. Where was Zack? Hiding under his sheets with dirty feet (yes, the clean sheets I had JUST put on his bed). I held his hand and walked him to the pile of toys and put them in the garbage. He had an absolute fit. I honestly have never seen a child cry like that. Ben and Luke came running, wondering if Zack needed stitches or had just broken a bone. I couldn't believe I was being so mean, but I don't know how else to teach him. He took the garbage bag out to the trash, which is waiting for pick up tomorrow morning. Is that too hard of a punishment for a cute little 5 year old? Maybe so, but I don't know what else to do. You better believe I will bring up the beloved binoculars next time we're picking up toys... I wonder if it will teach him anything? I think if I was more consistent with him (instead of laughing half of the time when he talks back to me) things would be much smoother at this house. There's got to be a middle ground!

I am also struggling with a balance in the blogging world. It's not that I don't have things to write, it's an all or nothing kind of deal with me. A certain person in my family has not been a fan of this online-journal since day ONE, wants me to be less personal with what I write. But I don't feel like it's worth posting unless it's the truth-- unless it's what I am really thinking or feeling. I don't want to be surfacy and blah. If my life can't be documented exactly how it's happening (or at least the way I perceive it, anyway) then I would rather not document it.. or do it privately where it can be authentic and accurate. I don't know-- why does it have to be all or nothing? Why can't I be more..... normal?

Anyway, it's been a long day and my kids are still waiting for a bedtime story. Moderation in all things... Heaven help me.

laser tag

In a toddler's dream world (lasers, lights, video games, buttons to push, junk food, etc.) Simon found something else to be interested in. While I was busy talking to the other moms, Simon snuck into the men's bathroom (I honestly don't know how he managed to open the heavy door, but he's a tough little cookie.) I was starting to get a little worried when I realized he was missing... but eventually I found him playing in the urinal. I was relieved and also totally disgusted.

I washed him as best as I could, but he had to spend the rest of the evening shirtless.
He's such a little stinker!

A big thanks to the sassiest Relief Society President & coolest dentist we know! Kelli threw an awesome party and ever since we drove away, my kids have been asking WHEN we can go back....



Sandou Trio Russian Bar

Did you watch America's Got Talent last night? The last act "The Sandou Russian Trio" (yes, the crazy acrobats over nails and fire) were our neighbors in Vegas! Cassie is the sweetest, most talented girl (I used to visit teach her and went to her wedding in 2008). They SO deserve their own act. They toured with Brittany Spears last year and have tried a couple of different shows here in Vegas, but all they need is a little recognition! America's Got Talent should give it to them. Yay! If you're not fans already, make sure to watch it and vote for them.

4th of July breakfast

On Independence Day, we had breakfast with our ward. They have truly become our family away from home and we love our neighborhood and the friends that we've made here. The weather was SO beautiful (overcast but warm). The food was delish, the entertainment (firetruck) was awesome and the bike parade wore the kids out (what more could you ask for?)