May FB updates

5/1

Ben was trying to hold in his emotions at lunch when he realized his snake wasn't going to make it. I told him to find me whenever he felt like crying and we could hash it out. He's not typically a crier, but he cuddled up before bed and we had a good talk. Then around 11:00pm he came in our bedroom again sobbing. This was our convo:
Me: are you still feeling pretty sad? 
Ben: yeah. I just feel so bad.
Me: you did nothing wrong, bud. Sometimes these things just happen.
Ben: I know but I feel like its really mad at me.
Me: the snake? Why would you ever think that?
Ben: because I had a dream that it came back alive and ate Roma.
Me: (trying not to laugh) oh wow. No wonder you're a mess! You know how your sister is with animals. She would squeeze it to death before it ever had a chance to eat her.
Ben (laughing too): yeah. Every animal should be really afraid of her.
Me: I think they are.

5/18

Simon's prayer over a large plate of mac&cheese: "Dear Heavenly Father. I love you and I like you and I never want you to die. Let's kill all the bad guys together. And if the bad guys camed in our house then Sunny can jump on them and bite them. And bless that only my mom can be in charge of me. And nobody else. Amen." 
that just about covers everything..

5/21

Debcakes!! some of my favorite memories with you are.... getting knocked down by a wave in the oregon ocean, fully dressed and completely taken by surprise. Trying to get ants out of your swimsuit in a public bathroom and having a lady walk in on us-- and laughing so hard because she didn't know why you were screaming (or undressed!) Seeing that amazingly perfect circle of cows on our drive home from Rexburg, even though no one believed our story. Staying up countless nights laughing and crying, always talking about the things that matter most. Skinny dipping in Kristy's pool in GA and doing cheer stunts with the furniture. Holding hands and touching feet when I was scared as a little girl and couldn't sleep. That one vacation in Spokane when all we did was sit around and talk and eat warm food because it was so cold outside (I loved that week.) Working out in the early mornings. Motivating each other to be better mothers, wives, and women. Taking our kids on crazy long road trips without our husbands! I also remember you pulling my hair as a little girl and yelling at me for not keeping my side of the room clean, but we won't talk about that now... I love you every single day and I am so grateful to have you in my life. You're the older (little) sister I've always wanted. Happy birthday, love!

5/24

When I asked what inspired him to bring me flowers, he replied "some guy named Bruno guilt-tripped me into it." @shumdiddy #keepsmelaughing

5/27

Aaron Shumwayposted toJanet Clawson Shumway

Just in case you forgot - I love you and you're my best friend.

5/29
My sweet neighbors lost their perfect little newborn son last night. If you want to donate to a good cause, you won't find a better family.-- Baby Louie Harper, with Rachel Harper

Jim and Pam

Tonight was the father and sons camp out.  My husband has taken our boys camping every year since Ben and Luke were toddlers.  I look forward to this night every year and love sending off my boys and staying home alone. I get so excited for them (us) that every year I've purchased their food, packed them up, had them ready to go as soon as Aaron came home from work.  Today I didn't do that.  I was busy, yes.  But not too busy.  Today I decided I wasn't going to do that because sometimes I feel like I do more than my fair share.  The last time I lovingly packed for my husband to go on a scout campout, he called annoyed that I had forgotten something he didn't tell me to pack.  So today I didn't help at all.. on purpose.  Aaron came home tired from work and nothing was ready.  He asked me if I had picked anything for them to eat for dinner and I proudly said no.  But inside I felt sad.  Yes, sometimes I do too much for my family, but I love them.  And my husband does a lot, too.  Next time I will go above and beyond and won't expect a thank you in return.. from anyone.  It's payment enough to have them all gone for a night :)

Roma knew something was happening while the boys were packing the car.  She knew they were going somewhere and she knew she wasn't invited.  She climbed in Simon's carseat and she would NOT move.  I had to put her shoes on and figure out a place for the two of us to go together.  I hadn't showered or put on makeup, but she looked mighty cute and deserved a night out on the town.  We went to Hobby Lobby and then had dinner at Thai Noodles, my favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant.  it's the best $6 bowl of vegetable curry you've ever had.  Roma had rice and veggies, but went super crazy over the fried ice cream.  She was a sweetheart because she had a notebook to draw in and no Simon to take it away from her.  We came home, had a bubble bath, painted nails and she went to a sleep like a baby.

The plan was to fold laundry and watch The Office finale-- the last episode ever.  I've been needing to fold clothes for weeks, but I've been waiting to watch this finale for about 4 years now.  and so The Office won and zero clothes got folded.  I just couldn't fold and give my complete attention to such an important hour of my life.  And it didn't disappoint.  I was chocked up the entire time, and finally cried in the end.  Real tears.  Happy that I wasted the last 400 Thursdays of my life watching this show.  But also sad because I sometimes I am as lame as Pam and I don't appreciate my husband like I should.  And even more sad because I want my life documented better than it is.  I just don't have the time anymore to write all of the funny and crazy things that happen in this home and that makes me so sad.  And truthfully, writing about it isn't even good enough.. I want it on camera!  I need to figure out how to get a reality show traveling with my family around the country.  It can't be THAT hard to do.  If Kim Kardashian can do it, I certainly can.

But really, The Office finale made me so happy.  Happy for everyone-- espesh Jim and Pam.  If you don't know this by now, Jim acts and looks a lot like my husband, and although I am not quite as lame as Pam, it did take me a long time to realize the best guy in the world was right under my nose.  I turned him down twice-- to his face, told him I could never like him more than a friend and he still came back.  Because he loves me. Even when I am an idiot.

It got me thinking about conversations with my husband that I would kill to have on film.  Granted, if there were cameras around, the conversations never would have happened because Aaron doesn't show off like that, but still.  A couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I went to a restaurant (the very same Thai place) on a wednesday night.  We had a discussion about our future-- where we see ourselves in 20 years.  It was great conversation, but I told him that I am sick of doing the same thing day after day. It seems like I am just exhausting myself and I am getting no where.  He was sympathetic and sweet.  And told me I just need a change of pace every once in a while, and to just pretend I'm not a mom.  That made me even more frustrated because I just did that!  I flew to Texas and forgot about my kids and it was great... but I can't do that every week!  I needed a better solution.  We walked out the car, hand in hand and didn't talk really on the way home.  Until we realized we needed milk.  There wasn't a real grocery store on the way home, so we quickly ran into CVS pharmacy.  Aaron went to grab the milk and I walked around the beauty supply, trying to find something that would make me forget that I was depressed about my mundane routine.  And then I heard a man calling out my maiden name.  I turned around and found my husband smiling.  This is how the conversation went (but I can't remember exactly because no one was around to film it.)

him: Janet?  Janet Clawson?
me:  yeah.
him: what a small world running into you here.
me: yeah.  weird, right? (still not sure what's going on...)
him:  so, it's been like, what? 15 years since we last saw each other?
me:  um.  I guess.  yeah.
him: After I said goodbye to you in college, I didn't think I would ever see you again.
me:  and yet, here we are.  What have you been up to all these years?
him:  oh, I ended up marrying a crazy woman.  She sells mary kay.
me:  wow.  that sucks for you.  where is she tonight?
him:  she's sleeping at her parents.  we're um,  not married anymore.
me:  oh.  I'm sorry.
him:  don't be.  it was a big mistake.  i am hoping to get the marriage annulled.  What about you?  Are you married?
me:  no.  I never did get married.  I have a hormonal disorder.
him:  right.  I think I remember that.  so no boyfriends or kids or anything?
me: well, I do have one kid, but that was just basically a one night fling.  he's 14 now.
him:  oh wow.  so you're a single mom.
me:  yeah.  and a librarian. what about you?
him:  I'm a rich attorney.
me: I never thought you'd become an attorney.  That surprises me.
him: yeah.  i went to law school single.  I didn't have to pay for a family and school at the same time, so I am debt free.  just living the dream.
me:  sounds awesome.  well, I was just coming here. to cvs. to find a really rich man to take care of me.
him:  and here I am.  I would love to ask you out on a date.
me: me?  where would you like to go?
him:  well, we are in Vegas.  and if you're not married and I'm not married, I am pretty sure there's an Elvis around that could marry us.  tonight.
me:  I would feel better getting married before I take you home because that didn't work out really well the first time.
him:  I can see why.  Do you think your son would like me?
me:  I am sure he would.  you seem like a nice enough guy.
him:  I love kids.  good ones.
me:  we sound like a perfect match.
him:  well, let's go then.
me:  aren't you going to buy anything? milk?
him:  no.  I can't buy it here.  it's almost $4 a gallon.
me:  I thought you were filthy rich, though.
him:  I am, but I still can NOT spend that much on a gallon of milk. Do you care if we stop by a real grocery store on the way home from the wedding chapel?
me:  not at all.  your car or mine?
him:  mine. (as he opens the passenger door for me)
me:  for such a single rich guy, you should probably drive a nicer car.
him:  I tell myself that everyday. every.single.day.

pms

during church today, the men had the same lesson as the women.  but they had a VERY different discussion. it was on family relationships and how to strengthen your marriage.  There was a gentleman in Priesthood that made a comment about knowing and scheduling your wife's menstrual cycle... write it down on the calendar, expect mood changes, be kinder to her, buy her feminine hygiene products, bring her chocolates, plan for and around the dates, etc, etc.  Apparently the teacher tried to cut him off early because he kept saying the words "period" and "hormones" and "pms".  Men were squirming and looking around.  I was cracking up when Aaron was telling me about it.  so funny!

But let me say, I LOVE this.  I fully support men talking about these kinds of things at church, or anytime.  I think everything he said is fantastic advice.  They should listen to him!  They should try to understand what we go through... although that's not possible.. but Mother's day is a perfect time to talk about it.  Knowing the guy who made this comment, I love him even more.  I can't wait to talk to his wife about it.  Seriously... so awesome.  and funny.  and awesome.  

what do you think?  Should men calendar their wife's menstrual cycle?  my opinion is heck.yes. I am going to start adding it to Aaron's phone calendar.. and send him reminders at work.  I won't be using it as an excuse to behave badly, but I think it would be great to give him a few warnings.  I don't think women should use it as an excuse to behave badly, but I think it should definitely be a factor when thinking about your conversations and relationship "that week" of every month.  It's a bid deal for us women..  if our men wanted to earn brownie points, they should be planning on being extremely sweet and prepared.  don't you agree?  

happy mothers day, NOT. jk. but not really.

thursday I made 100 mini loaves of bread and 20 bread bowls.  I also had a couple of extra kids at my house at the time.  thankfully the weather was cool enough for the oven to be on for four solid hours.  My counselors came over to help me wrap the bread and freeze it so it would be fresh for Sunday.

friday

• 9:00 we went to forest school with lots of friends and got worn to pieces.  
• noon- Aaron and I met for lunch and then swung by at a carpet store to order new flooring.  hardwood downstairs, new carpet upstairs
• 3:00 pm I helped three different friends with their kids-- crazy afternoon but fun.  
• 6:00 pm Zack's music concert. the kids end up eating dessert for dinner cause I forgot to feed them.
• 8:00 pm Aaron and I leave the kids at home and run to the store. Snacks for his hike, cheesecake for a RS activity. We wanted to get dinner on the way home but the restaurant was closed and taco bell didn't sound appetizing.
• 9:00 pm I get dropped off at a girls game night in the neighborhood.  way fun.  I laughed so hard. I miss the girls from my old ward.
• 11:00 pm Jane and I leave the party early because we're SO tired but then end up talking for another hour in my driveway.
• midnight Aaron and I go over plans for the next day.  He informs me he has a tennis match (among a million other things going on that day.)  I ask him to cancel because I need his help.  He shrugs.

saturday

• 6:00 am  Aaron, Ben and Zack leave on a 5-mile hike with a bunch of other scouts.
• 8:00 am I get up and exercise, but I feel like crap.  Luke and I spend time laughing our guts out over crazy cat videos on youtube.
• 9:00 waiting for Aaron to get home so I can leave to run errands.  He has a friend drop off the boys because he went to his tennis match.
• 10:00 I take all five kids to do important things.  It's hot and they stay in the car for the majority of the time. Simon is a monster.
• noon- we get home and shower.  I put the babies down for a much needed nap.
• 1:00 the sister missionaries come over to discuss a few items of business.  they are cutie pies.
• 2:00 Ben, Luke and I run quickly to walmart.  Ben bought a $100 lego set and all of the people were missing out of the kit.  He was begging to exchange it at this was the only time.  
• 2:45 we leave for Calico Basin to take family pictures.  Not the best timing, but this was a fundraiser.. we've already paid for them.  So glad we went even though it was cray-cray.
• 4:00 home from pictures I whip up two big pots of soup.. creamy potato and cheesy broccoli.  I take the bread bowls out of the freezer.  
• 5:00 I pack up Aaron's car with a bunch of food and head to the church for a dinner for the single sisters in our ward.  Simon and Zack come with me and Aaron promises to come later to help with the nursery.  
• 6:00 I made a humongous olive garden style salad at the church and the food is ready.  other sisters help set up the tables and decorate to perfection.  
• 6:30 the dinner begins.  I text Aaron and wonder where the heck he is.
• 7:00 we end up having other helpers in the nursery and Aaron is still a no show.  I do not know whats up, but I text him to at least pick up our boys.  Simon needs to go.  
• I have no idea when he actually shows up, but the dinner is fabulous.  We talked and talked and talked and ate soup and salad and cheesecake. 
• 11:00 pm  I arrive home to a house asleep.  I cleaned the kitchen and wound down.  
• 1:00 am.  Aaron calls me thinking I'm not alive.  I tell him I will come upstairs (but I was actually thinking about sleeping in the guest room.)
• 2:00 am we stay up talking about our crazy day.  Aaron apologizes over and over.  Not exactly sure what happened but we just weren't in sync.  I forgive him easily.  After hanging out with single mothers who have been through SO MUCH hardship, having a husband unaware of my needs is a minor thing.  I think we finally fall asleep around 3:00 am

sunday

• 6:00 am  kids wake me up with toast, eggs, homemade cards and presents.  I love them, but I'm tired.
• not really sure how the morning came and went, but I didn't get much done and didn't go back to sleep.
• 11:00 am visit a few sisters in the ward who are struggling.  Mothers Day can be really, really hard for some women who want so badly to have babies!
• didn't shower or really get ready for church.  not sure why.  I think I was just tired.  I did apply makeup on the drive.
• 2:00 pm  Aaron speaks in sacrament meeting. not his idea of a good time, he does a great job.  
• the primary kids sing a special song for mothers day.  Ro tried to follow the boys up to the front, but I grabbed her and she screamed.  Wish I could have seen/heard my boys sing.  Roma is a brat.
• during sunday school a bunch of women finish assembling the homemade jam and the bread.  the tags and tool look super cute.  my new secretary is all about the details and that's exactly what I need.
• church is long and tiring but I truly do love serving in the relief society.  I have grown so much.
• 5:30 we finally get home but I need to head out and make a few visits.  Aaron warms up soup leftovers and whips up a yummy salad.  We have chocolate milk to drink.
• 6:30 the kids are cranky during dinner, so am I, but the soup still tastes yummy.
• I decide to put my feet up and try to write in my journal while everyone else clean up.  Roma follows me upstairs.  She takes my pen away, hits me when I try to sing to her and eventually I push her off the bed.  She needs to go to sleep asap.
• Aaron comes upstairs to see how things are going.  Roma is having a full blown tantrum.  While Aaron and I are talking, Ben comes up and tells us that Simon opened a 2-liter of Sprite and poured it on the kitchen floor.  Aaron rolls his eyes and says, "I don't think anything could make me happy right now, not even winning the lottery."  which makes me laugh.  sometimes life just sucks.
• Survivor finale is on.  the kids and I have been watching all season (the only tv show we watch.) I decide to take a bath instead.  which was really relaxing but kind of depressing too.  
• WHY is it that on mother's day all we really want is a break from our kids?  
• Aaron and I decided that next Mother's Day we are going out of town and not having any responsibilities.  We should probably do that for Father's Day too, but do Dads really need a vacation from their responsibilities on the weekend?  nah.    

despite it all, the miscommunication and crazy schedules and naughty kids, I am grateful for my husband, our children and the life we've built together.  I got some killer mother's day cards (and a great apology card from Aaron) that I will keep forever.  Motherhood is rough sometimes, but definitely worth it.