package from the Grandparents

This morning, while eating breakfast, our doorbell rang. The boys screamed when they saw the writing on the box,

"It's from Grandmother!!"

Aaron's mom is SO thoughtful and often sends packages in the mail. These little gifts were an addition to all the presents we opened over Thanksgiving! How lucky are we??

Thank for the toys.. the boys are busy playing with them.. Zack will not keep the Rudolf nose on long enough for me to take a picture, but he did enjoy the peeps.. he had the whole box for breakfast! And I love animal pancake maker and the Christmas plates! Thank you!!

Everyone is a bedhead except for yours truly. It's Saturday morning and I was up early to exercise, shower and clean before the rest of the crew. Although the pictures don't exactly show that my hair is nice and clean, I assure you, it is. December is going to be a great month! Hopefully I can continue with my New Years goals!

Children's Museum

Since I've already disclosed all of my terrible qualities, let's discuss my strengths. I have a talent for picking great people to be around. No- really, I can spot someone in the crowd and know instantly that we are going to be best friends forever. It's like I have a sixth sense or something.

Jane is one of those quality people that I spotted and I knew within minutes that we would get along. I met her a few weeks after we moved to Vegas. We were sitting on the same table during Enrichment and as she was talking (to someone else) I told myself, "I am going to love this person." and I was so right. She has a 1 year old son, Vaughn, who is such a sweet boy. Jane is smart, funny, runs marathons AND has a free pass to the kids museum so we never have to pay when we go with her. Do I know how to pick my friends or what?

Zack and Vaughn as little Construction men.

We spent the afternoon playing house, blowing gianormous bubbles, and watching Ben and Luke sweat it out on those imaginary sports games... you know.. where they are standing there on against the green board.. and they think they are really playing volleyball and soccer? What are they called? Anyway, we had to DRAG the kids out of the museum.. such a fun day!

and by the way.. 2 days of showering, shaving my legs, curling my hair, and cleaning my house before my kids wake up. This getting ready thing isn't too bad and the scripture reading is SO good for me. I already feel so much better. And, Thanks to those who suggested FlyLady.com I love it and my kitchen sink is sparkling clean! I totally relate with that website (although it's a tad cheesy.) I am a free butterfly who doesn't want to be tied down, but ROUTINE is really going to help me. I can already feel the change! And mornings without TV and internet are not killing me either... I'm taking it one day at a time.

abusive Daddy

Aaron is the best Dad any child could ask for. He is fun, involved, patient, caring, and very silly. The minute he walks through the door, he is on the floor playing with the kids... He has intense pillow fights, plays video games and tells completely entertaining "sleep stories" (sound effects included.) My boys adore their dad and I love watching them together. It's truly incredible.

With that said, I think that Aaron might causing our children long-term emotional damage. Let me explain. Ever since our boys were babies.. and I mean, really small, Aaron would say unsettling things to them. For instance, if they were crying, he would tenderly pick them up and talk to them in a soft-spoken, soothing voice and say something like, "If you don't stop crying, I am going to cook you in the microwave." Our babies enjoyed these interactions and would calm down so they could listen to their dad coo at them. Each time it was something new... and with each baby it got a little more disturbing (if that's possible..) Other sweet nothings that he'd whisper to our kids include: "If you don't sleep through the night, we are going to make a bed for you in the freezer." or (while holding an electric hand mixer,) "These beaters might go up your bum if you're not careful." Now- he does it to get a reaction out of me... and EVERY time he gets one.. I try so hard not to laugh (because, frankly it's disgusting) but I can't help it. It's just too off-color and SO inappropriate with his affectionate, gentle voice.

If you think he stopped when they got older, you're mistaken. While driving, he calmly tells our boys that if they don't stop fighting he will rip their ears off or throw them out the window.. I guess threatening to pull over and have a discussion about their behavior isn't grotesque enough. The worst part is that my kids LOVE it and usually say, "Tell us another one, Dad! That was so funny!" They are encouraging him, and he is no longer doing it to get a reaction out of ME anymore. It's sad. As I type, Aaron is throwing a not-so-soft ball at Ben and Luke and they are uncontrollably laughing each time they get pegged in the face. And Zack is begging to join in. I don't get it.. Where is a little girl when I need one?

Recently, he has been torturing Zack and I don't know what to do about it. A few days ago, I had a large box of items ready to donate to a charity, who pick up locally. The box was sitting by our front door and Zack opened it to find one of his favorite (and SUPER annoying) toy trains. It flashes lights and plays LOUD music... It is a great toy for a little toddler, but not one of mine. It drives me CraZy. I have tried taking out the batteries, but Zack ends up bringing it to me, saying "Brokey" and wants it fixed. Anyway, when the charity came collect, I had to quickly throw the train back into the box without Zack seeing, but I failed. Zack was hysterical when they left with it and several times he went to the door pointing and crying, "Train, Train!" Obviously, I felt like a terrible mom and shared my frustrations with my husband. I thought Aaron would sympathize and tell me that I did the right thing. Not the case. Instead, he starts singing the annoying song and tells Zack to go find his toy... Zack, who obviously knows the tune, starts shaking and frantically goes looking for it around the house. When he can't find it, Aaron says, "Zack, go ask mommy where your train is.. She will help you find it." Is this not emotional abuse? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I need suggestions. I feel like spitting in his dinner or something, but that's just not good enough. As mentioned before, Aaron does not read this blog (he's on strike) so give me some ideas! Doesn't anyone have any great pranks from girls camp that I can pull on him? And I am not talking about writing on his face with lipstick while he sleeps...

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

pictures taken by Valerie Bateman
(schedule your session with her TODAY before she starts charging a fortune!)

update...one day down.

So, I got up this morning... about 2 hours before my kids were up. I exercised, showered, got ready (yes, I even used the hair dryer and put on mascara.) Plus, I cleaned AND read scriptures... When Ben got up, he came downstairs and said, "WOW, Mom. Are you going somewhere?" I thought that was funny (because if I am dressed and ready then obviously we have somewhere fancy to be.)

Then Luke woke up about twenty minutes later.. and this was our conversation....

LUKE: I didn't know it was Sunday today!

ME: It's not. It's Thursday.

LUKE: Then, are we going somewhere?

ME: Nope..

LUKE: Then who's coming over here?

ME: No one. Why do you think someone is coming over here?

LUKE: Cause our house is like really, really clean!



Gotta love my kids!

I actually DID end up going to the cannery this morning, totally last minute. As I was putting on my hair net, I was thinking... "what a waste of shampoo"- But I felt pretty fancy (until I poured powdered milk all over myself.)

My husband and I were talking about this last night.. He NEVER reads my blog, so I have to give him the low down... sometimes when he calls me from work and asks me how my day was... I just feel like saying, "just look at my blog.. it explains everything AND has pictures." Anyway, last night we were talking about my worst qualities... (he confirmed every one of them, by the way) and pointed out that I probably have routine issues. I think this is SO true. I don't do ANYTHING habitually (besides brush my teeth...) I don't have a schedule and really don't like to stick to one. This is probably why I homeschool-- because I don't have to commit to anything. But I really have to work on this....

The REAL McCoy...

The world of blogging is an interesting one. We are in charge of exactly what goes on our page--which means we can display ourselves (and our families) exactly the way we want. What makes it interesting (and VERY annoying) is that it's easy for us to see how well other people are doing... and makes us feel like total failures ourselves. I hate this aspect of the blogging world. Why do we love to compare ourselves to others? We all do it and I know it's been mentioned before, but I'm getting real today...

Although I don't usually have a problem bragging (especially about my kids) I do struggle with what I should or should not post for fear of making me look better than I really am. This really does stress me out! I take relationships VERY seriously. People are SO important to me and that's why I LOVE blogging, but it's seems really hard to portray myself.. how I really am.. I hate posting things when it comes across like I am a pro or expert. Of course, my best friends know that this is NOT true, but for the other 99 people that look at and read my blog, I just wanted to let you know all my bad qualities :)

I am starting a new TAG game. Here are my top 5 worst qualities that I never want anybody to know about me.. of course, there are plenty, but let's just stick with 5 for now.

1. I look like a slob most of the time. I am NOT kidding here. I hate to get ready and I rarely do. I wear makeup on Sundays and an occasional night out with my husband, but taking a shower and doing my hair is something I do about twice a week. I also never wash my face before bed.. let's face it, I am dirty.. and feel comfortable that way. It's not that I don't enjoy looking nice-- more that my priorities are somewhere else. I struggle with this and know I need to do better, especially for my husband. But he knew this about me before he married me, so I figure it's part of the package. That doesn't mean I don't TRY to look in the mirror before he gets home from work... poor guy.

2. My house is usually a mess. I do know how to clean, but I don't do it as often as I should. Once a week, my place is completely spotless. I am really good at deep cleaning and getting the entire house sparkling, but I am terrible at keeping it that way. I have really lazy habits and tons of clutter. I am trying to teach my kids differently (because my husband is very well trained... thank you, Brandy!) but it's so hard to teach them when I don't have the skills myself. I am working on this. I am an ALL-or-NOTHING type of person and I wish I could be somewhere in between. I start a project and quickly move onto something else before finishing it.. Most days, I just don't make time for cleaning. I do enjoy cleaning, but usually end up spending 2 hours playing legos instead of doing dishes...that's exactly what happened today. and now I am busy typing instead of getting to work.. excuses, excuses.

3. I don't feed my kids consistently. They don't eat well-- they never really have and this is my fault. I usually don't think about food until one of them says, "I'm really hungry, mom!" As we speak, they are eating Froot Loops while watching Spongebob. This is their lunch.. and it's 6 pm. I know, I know, it's really bad. But we spend SO much time transforming boxes with paint, that we don't have time to eat! We snack a lot and love pb&j's. They aren't dying or anything (yet) but life would be much better if we had 3 square meals a day. I do have a weekly menu that I try to stick to, but when Aaron is gone for dinner, it's not so fancy. My husband does NOT help in this area either... he could care less about what he eats or when he eats it, so I am blaming him.

4. I have absolutely no rhythm. I cannot dance (or do anything musical, really.) I am handicapped in this area and I am jealous of anyone who is musically inclined. That doesn't mean I don't sing my heart out in sacrament meeting. but I would HATE to be the primary chorister or choir director. I am not tone deaf.. but I know when I have a talent... and singing, dancing, or anything that requires coordination is not a talent I was blessed with..

5. I have major control issues and I am really, really prideful. I know that PRIDE is the worst thing to have and I don't know how to get rid of it!! I like to do things myself because I think I can do them quicker and better than other people. It's an issue that I have struggled with since I was a little girl. A lot of people think that I control my husband and wear the pants in the family, and I can see why they think that, but Aaron is the one person who is in charge of me. He is the best example of humility and I respect him so much. My pride almost kept me from marrying him... (I wanted to be in control of who and when I got married..) But, thankfully, I have the opportunity to learn from him everyday.

6. I know I said I would only list 5, but this is a big one (and kind of goes with #5 anyway.) I am not a spiritual person. I know that some of you would disagree, but it's the truth. I think I used to be... but I have totally slacked and I can feel such a difference in my life! As great (and fun) as Nursery has been-- a year without spiritual training has been brutal on me. So much that I think I need to be released. I have lots of experiences in my home with feeling God's love, but 99% of it relates my family and 1% is personal. I have completely slacked and totally agree with whoever said that your spirituality isn't stagnant. Your testimony is either getting stronger or more weak and I cannot even tell you how weak I am! I know I need to do better and every night I tell myself that I will-- but I just don't do it. Christmas time is SUCH a great time to pick up again, don't you think?

Okay, that's it for now. Here are the RULES of this Tag. No comments disagreeing with what I said. I do not have low self-esteem and DO NOT want a compliment. If you comment with one, I will delete it! I was not fishing for anything... just wanted to post something REAL.

So, now that I have said my peace... here are the people I tag...










AS IF!


I hate tagging people for fun things and this was not about playing some kind of game.

Now that I have laid it out on the table.. what am I going to do about it? I will tell you. I am going to dedicate these weeks before Christmas to improving myself. I am going to take a break from blogging and all media sources for a bit. My personal rule for December is this-- no tv, radio, internet, movies, etc until I do the following each day:

1. Shower AND look presentable.. for myself and mostly for Aaron. (He will not know what to do with me.. sometimes when I get all dressed up, he comes home and says, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" Seriously.. he is going to freak if I shower everyday.)

2. Spend at least an hour each morning cleaning... really getting my house in order. This has to be done before my kids wake up because we all know I won't do it otherwise.

3. Have 3 meals planned each day. No winging it.. I will have a menu, buy necessary items at the store and get busy.

4. hmm.. what can I do to help my musical skills? Maybe take lessons from someone... or go to ward choir? I think not. I will just except that it's not my lot in life.. maybe I will pull out the old classical music CD's and listen while I clean.. that's enough for now!

5. Pray to be less prideful... and be more grateful for Aaron's example of humility and selflessness.

6. Personal scripture study, personal prayers, more meaningful fasts and a lot of repentance!

These are my goals until Christmas. I will NOT be blogging (or emailing) until these are done each day... I mean, how hard can it be to shower? No... in all reality, this is going to be REALLY difficult for me, but I can commit to do it and be diligent. Here I go to improve myself! Wish me luck!