giants and the attack of the killer toilet

For the past 9 days, Zack has been miserably sick. How terrible is it to confess that I LOVE it when he's deathly ill? There's something wonderful about a child with a high fever--- they become motionless, lethargic and angelic. Zack has let me hold him for a whole week! He asks to go to bed at 5 pm. He sleeps in until noon. He doesn't eat anything, he never makes messes, he doesn't throw tantrums. This hourly dose of drowsy NyQuil is really paying off! And after 9 beautiful days, it seems like he's starting to feel better... so if you live close by and you have a child with an illness, please bring 'em over to play with my little guy! Sickness turns horrible squids into adorable kids.

Of course, I am kidding. It's hard to see your vivacious, spirited little toddler so miserable. But even though he's been infested with germs, little Zack has managed to keep the whole family entertained. Here are a few of our favorite things he's said this week:

After going potty, I asked him if he had flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He nodded his head and said, "You be so glad for me, Mom. I'm DESPONS-ABLE!" I AM so proud of him for not only growing up so quickly, but for trying to use such BIG words! The next day... he came out of the bathroom grabbing his boy parts with a betrayed look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he sobbed, "The toilet hurt me!" When I asked him what the toilet did, he responded, "He just smashed my WEENIE for no reason!" Apparently, when he closed the lid something was in the way. Ouch! I tried to keep a straight face knowing how bad it must've hurt, but I wasn't strong enough. When Zack saw me laughing he got a big grin and said, "That's funny that the toilet smashed my weenie, huh?" Indeed.

Believe it or not, he has started several sentences with the phrase "When I was a kid......" Oh, man. To hear it in his little voice is just TOO MUCH. When asked how old he was when he was a KID, he will say, "Like 2 or something." As if he joined the ranks of manhood on his third birthday.

And my favorite story [one that the husband doesn't think should be written on the blog] must be documented-- here and now. If Aaron reads it and scolds me, I am willing to take a beating...

The other day Zack whispered ever so softly in my ear, "Mom! Girls only have ONE BUTT!" It was so quiet that I wasn't exactly sure what he had said. He rephrased, "I mean, Girls only have ONE PRIVATE PART-- cause they pee out their butts!" By this time, Luke had to chime in and say, "No, they have three private parts.. their butt and their two boobies." This made everyone laugh--- then of course, the conversation got a little more intense when Aaron explained that girls do have a special private part and they do NOT {in fact} pee out of their butts. The boys wanted to know what that part was called... so Aaron told them (Stay away PERVERTS! I am not typing the actual word because I get enough twisted Google searches as it is.) When Zack heard the V-word, he stood up and screamed, "WHAT??? You mean girls have GIANTS?" I homeschool for this very reason... because conversation is always entertaining AND it keeps my kids from sharing their secrets on the playground.

Fi.Fy..Fo...Fum....
girls only have one bum.

finding balance

Yesterday I wrote about my NEED to get into bed at a decent hour... well, here I am posting at ONE am. Lesson not learned. (cough, moan, bleh...)

Prime time TV is taking over our house and it's making us a dysfunctional family. Every night I tell myself, "the show is recorded... you can watch it tomorrow.." but the temptation gives in and before you know it, I am sitting on the couch reaching for the box of kleenex while watching the Biggest Loser (you better believe I cried when Mandy's boys came to visit her! oh-- and when they had to leave... waaaaa!) Tonight during the BALANCE challenge, Aaron starts talking trash with me about how he could whip me in a challenge like that. I was so offended because I am a yoga champ and can hold a pose like it's nobody's buzinez. Soon Ben and Luke joined in and before the dinner dishes were put away, we have a full blown balance competition going on in our kitchen... We pulled out a large can of food storage for each person (no wooden blocks to be found in our house.)


There is no need to say who actually won--- because isn't it obvious who is the most talented individual in our family? Alright, I will confess and say that it INFURIATES me that I can't beat my husband in anything. There was no challenge whatsoever. He would have been standing on that can of wheat until the sun came up. And we all need our beauty rest. I sacrificed my pride for the good of the entire family.

Oh, and tragically Ben is wearing the pajamas that he's NOT allowed to wear in public or when friends come over... so now I must explain. My dear, sweet mother "Grandma Bev" (not to be confused with our other "Grandma Bev" who lives in Spokane..) gave all of her grandchildren pajamas for Christmas last year. She gave Ben the option of having Transformer pjs or Spongebob. Typically, he would have TF anyday, but these pjs happen to be the ANIMATED Transformers and that makes all the difference. So instead he chose Sponge Bob. Little did we know that the SpongeBob pjs were GIRLY and pink. When Ben opened them on Christmas Eve, he was thrilled. Aaron and I chuckled as he put them on and wore them to bed. When we woke up the next morning, I made him change into his Christmas pjs before we could open any presents... I know, I am so vain and didn't want all our Christmas pictures with my son wearing girly Sponge Bob jammies.

Since then, we have tried giving them or throwing them away, but to no avail. Apparently Ben is in touch with his feminine side and doesn't care if they have a pink collar or pink snowflakes. When his cousin Anna came to visit and happened to be wearing matchy cutesty jammies, we just had to take a picture.. (with no intension of posting it on the blog.) But I guess the wee hours of the morning makes me want to confess everything. Here I am, admitting that I suck at ANY type of challenge against my husband AND that my oldest son is a HOMO. Take it or leave it.. but know that tomorrow I am going to wake up with a hangover of regrets. Seriously, my calves are killing me. I was literally shaking while standing a whole 4 minutes on that can. Who needs BOB when you have a year's supply of food storage to work out with?

disoriented

My schedule is seriously WHACKED. All I want out of life is early to bed, early to rise.. but I just can't seem to get a handle on anything! With sick kids, lots of random responsibilities and an exciting TV lineup, I just don't know how to get organized. It's so frustrating.

I am a nazi when it comes to the kids sleeping in their own beds.. or at least I used to be. When my babies hit 6 weeks, they stay in their cribs and do not come near me or my husband when it's time to sleep. I have no sympathy for them and they quickly learn to sleep through the night. When they are toddlers, they know better than to crawl in bed with mom and dad. I am SO not a fan of the family bed. I just value my sleep too much. So HOW is it possible that every day this past week we've had a third or fourth kid in bed with us? Why am I allowing my six year old to cuddle with me at 3 AM? After this past spell of Zack being sick, I am not sure I will ever get him to sleep in his own bedroom..

Aaron's cell phone rang EARLY--- like 7:30 AM. I rolled over and groaned because after the lack of sleep, I am not feeling well myself. When he got off the phone, I was mad and said, "WHO in their right mind calls this early on a Sunday morning?"

Aaron chuckled while saying, "It's Tuesday, honey."

oy.

favorite blog award

Kristen gave me one of the nicest compliments by giving me some type of great blog award tag thing.. and I am truly flattered. Now I have to name my favorite blogs. To tell you the truth, I don't like doing this. at all. I really don't like popularity contests. because it usually makes everyone jealous of me. but since I am not nominating my own blog-- I feel okay about it.

I decided to link my FAVORITE POSTS from each blog. I know, a little more work for me.. but you're worth it.

Nie Nie amazing that you can be so touched by someone you've never met. she has changed so many lives just because she lives hers to the fullest.

c Jane I realize the rest of the world loves her too.. but how can you not appreciate her wit, charm and excitement about glitter poop?

Molly Jackson another woman I have never met, but that doesn't mean I don't love her. I cry each time I read her blog. she is eloquent. beautiful. inspiring.

Bethany easy to relate to. funny. and she's family-- so she must be amazing.

Tristie genuine. happy. has NEVER been afraid to be her spunky self.

Suzanne and Jason this particular entry is rather long, but I love it. I am so glad they blog so I know what's going on in their lives.. although it's been a while since they've updated. where are you?

I have four married brothers... with four amazing wives. it's incredible to see your siblings marry someone hand picked for them. Rach is on my list of fave blogs because she lives so far away and I LOVE being able to see updated pictures of my super cute niece, Kennedy! we miss you guys.

Honorable mentions:
Favorite private blogger: Karlin
Farthest friend blogger: Amelia -- it's so nice to keep in touch even though she lives in Scotland.
Favorite commenter: Sheri --- this girl has such wit! I am considering opening up my comments because I really miss Sheri!
Favorite Man blogger: Graton-- LOVE that he still emails me even though my comments are closed. serious props to this guy!
Bravest blog stalker: Nova. this girl wrote a song about me. No one has ever written a song about me. Whoa!
Best College Updates: Cindy Lou. I love that I can keep in touch with my sis in her first semester of college.
always uplifting: Lindsay I love reading blogs when you can feel the LOVE oozing from the pages. I love Lindsay's perspective.. and I love that she loves her husband so.
Farthest Family member: Tim and Rachel we miss you guys--- especially beautiful Kennedy! I am so glad you have a blog!!!
funkiest blog: azy

breakfast can be so exhausting sometimes...

the fact that he actually came to the table means he's feeling a lot better.