crazy and/or drunk

I probably shouldn't post this video... or write about people with mental problems, because really--- I've got issues of my own. But I am doing it anyway. Not because I think you will think it's as funny as I do.. but because I want it to go down in the memories of my life. Like sands through the hour glass....

Last night, we headed to Sonic- my new fave summer place. It was free rootbeer float night and FREE is our family motto. It was super crowded there (apparently others like free ice cream too) so we drove to a nearby park and enjoyed the warm summer evening. While the kids played on the playground, Aaron and I sat on a bench, ate our floats and thoroughly enjoyed a show put on by a psycho lady running through the kids water area. I have nothing against adults getting wet at a children's park.. I did it myself on my 29th birthday. I am a HUGE fan of spontaneous/wild people, but this girl was off her rocker.

It was 9:15-ish at night. I believe she was by herself. (If she came with people, they definitely weren't claiming her.) And to say that she was "playing" in the water is a loose term. She literally could not get wet enough. She ran from one squirter to the other-- as soon as one turned off, she booked it to the next dumping zone. She twirled, she danced, she fell down several times. While laying on the ground, she splashed and made imaginary snow angels in the puddles. Her shorts were falling down and one of her boobs was about to pop out of her tanktop. It was entertainment at it's finest, people.

Forget about watching my kids on the slides- they could have been kidnapped for all I knew. I literally could NOT take my eyes off of her. While we watched, Aaron and I made up several stories for her. Maybe she couldn't pay her water bill and hadn't showered in a while... Maybe she'd lived the last two years in a dark closet and finally escaped from her abuser... Maybe she was stuck on a desert island and almost died of thirst... Or maybe she was really drunk... and/or crazy.

After several good laughs, I realized I had my camera. Aaron couldn't believe I was filming her and walked away from me as soon as I hit the record button. But I wasn't worried about people looking at ME. It was really dark so it's hard to get the full effect (for instance, the boob.) I only filmed 60 seconds-- a very small portion of the show. Alas, here she is-- in all her glory.

On the drive home, the question was asked, "Don't you ever want to do something so crazy that people actually believe you're mental?" I do. And when I do, I won't have my friends or family around because they will ruin everything... how can you put on such an act when you have a crowd who knows the real you? I wonder if she was the one laughing inside-- realizing that she actually convinced us she was psychotic. If that's the case, good for her. If, however, she does happen to be mentally unstable (or a severely abused victim who was locked in a closet and never allowed to shower) then I sincerely apologize for laughing, making fun of her and posting this video. God will forgive me, I think.

slumber party

Last night, we had a party... Well, we moved the guest room mattress in front of the TV and ordered pizza. To my kids, that is a party. And instead of making them sleep in their beds, we allowed them to stay up as late as they wanted and watch a movie together... because that means mom can sleep in as late as she needs to. When Aaron got up for work, he politely nudged me to ask where the camera was. This is the picture he took.

When we said goodnight to them, they were fully dressed.
Apparently, we had the air conditioning blasting upstairs, but it was super warm downstairs. oops.
I am just grateful their pants didn't come off too.

how low can you go

Judge me all you want, but I am not ashamed to admit that I love to the Bachelorette. It's my guilty-pleasure. It's the cherry on top of our spiritual Monday/Family night. I think Jillian is a doll and she's finally weeding out all the nerds she picked first round. Seriously, how did some of those guys get picked for the show anyway?

I don't know who you're rooting for, but this is my dream team top three. In particular order..

Yes, I love the break dancer. He's been my fave since the beginning. I am hoping they aren't showing much of him because he's she'll keep around for a while. They always save the best for last. Michael has style, charisma, good looks and a sense of humor. What more does Jillian want? Kiptyn (I would much rather call him Kip so I don't think about his name being spelled with a Y) is a cute guy and obviously he and Jill have something going on. Robby isn't so photogenic, but I think he's super handsome... and I like the way he works it. No diggity.

And I am crossing my fingers (and toes) that these three get sent home ASAP.

What is wrong with David? He seriously needs to sign up for anger management classes. I was so disturbed by his rage. He needs to be locked up before he kills someone. I kept asking myself while watching him pace around like a mad man, "What happened in his past that made him so ANGRY?" I am embarrassed for him and so disturbed that some bullies never grow up. I am not a fan of Juan or anything, but David is such a drama queen. I can't wait to see him get denied next week-- and hopefully sent home.

Then there's psycho Tanner. Is anyone else disgusted by his foot fetish? He seriously wants to make love to her feet. He doesn't need a wife.. he needs someone from the ankles down. I cannot believe this dude is fo REAL, but it makes for great television.

And last but not least, I hate Wes. I doubt he will go home anytime soon, but I can stand to watch him. Whether or not he's a good country singer, I just don't think this kind of exposure is good for his career. He's so full of himself, he doesn't have any room for a girl in his life. I hope he's the one with a girlfriend... He's gotta go.

and that's all I have to say about that... until next week or so.

skin heads

I typically don't dig the buzz... but in the summer, it's the only way to go. No more bed-heads, a lot less sweat and a little more sunscreen. It's amazing how cute their expressions become when they're all FACE. I had to take close-ups just to show you how long their eyelashes are-- but because I am not a skilled photographer (and because I told them only ONE picture each) you can't really tell. One of these days- after the husband dies- I am going to put mascara on them. It's a shame to waste such gorgeous lashes on boys.

I cut everyone's hair at this house. I figure I can practice on them while they are young and when they're old enough, if they don't like what they get, they can go elsewhere. It's a touchy subject when cutting the husband's tho... I don't really like being responsible for his hair. He was cursed with hair that sticks straight up, no matter what you do.. so keeping it short is the best solution. Haircutting has to be frequent and even though it's saved us a few pennies over the years, it's also caused some fights. A couple of years ago, we resolved that spending the money for someone else to cut his hair was worth our marriage. He went into the salon, forked out the dough and asked me to fix it when he got home. He has been really nice ever since because I am telling you, his hair isn't easy to cut. Ben was lucky enough to be cursed with the same hair. I am crossing my fingers that he will marry someone as talented and patient as his mother.

they've gone digital.

I've mentioned before about the many "secret messages" Ben and Luke send to each other around the house. I honestly do love it even though I constantly find scraps of paper in odd places and sometimes have to read never ending potty words.. But I think we found a way to save a few trees and get rid of the paper mess.

Last week, Ben and Luke created their own email accounts. We thought it would be a great way to keep in touch with Dad at work as well as write their grandparents who are hours away. Little did I know that they would spend the majority of their time on the computer sending emails to EACH OTHER-- even though their computers sit on the same desk. That's right.. they sit 2 inches from each other while writing emails back and forth. I am constantly hearing them argue, "Don't read it off of my screen! I will send it to you in a minute."

(*side note, as immature as this sounds, my roommate in college and I would do the same thing. Our screens would be back to back in the computer lab and instead of writing term papers that were due that day, we were sending emails back and forth trying to see who could make the other laugh out loud. She always got me first.)

It's only been a couple of days since they opened their email accounts and I already have some classic conversations. Obviously, I am not going to record them all here (that's what making a book is for...) but here are a few...

From: ben10
To: invisibleluke

Hey Luke. That's weird that you love dora and boots. bye. Ben


From: invisibleluke
To: ben10

You love dora and boots and barbies and my little ponies. love Luke

From: ben10
To: invisibleluke

hi ekul. you are funny ekul. do you want to watch tmnt in mom and dads room? the cartoon. what should we do at the dad and kids camp out? Have a good day. love ben

From: invisibleluke
To: ben10

thanks for your email. when we go to the camp out, I want to go swimming. Dad will be crazy in the pool and will attack us.

Sure I will watch tmnt after mom cuts our hair. Are you excited to be a buzz head? I am because then we never have to comb our hair.

thanks for cleaning the toy room when I never help. let's buy something really cool with our allowents.

I love you. Ekul

From: ben10
To: invisibleluke

hi. bye. I love you too. I hope they have a hot tub at the campout. have fun buzz head.

love Ben

**I would posts their emails back and forth to their dad-- because they are hilarious-- but I don't have my husband's permission and he already hates the blog. It's been six months since this post and I don't think he's forgiven me yet. Anyway, off to buzz a few heads. yeah for summer!