even more random....

I honestly believe that video posted on it's own this morning. I must have entered the code a while ago and accidentally had it scheduled to post.. either that or my computer is possessed. psycho.

But since we're on the subject of the man who plays with a pool full of kids, let me just say that I really do love Aaron. I always knew that I loved being around him, but I didn't know that after 10 years of being together (11 since we met) that he would make me THIS happy.


Tonight we watched Jim and Pam's wedding together. I was a bit disappointed-- until the boat scene, of course. ( Why do all shows have to turn so dirty?) When it was over I said to Aaron, "Aren't you glad that I only made you wait ONE year and not FOUR?" He grabbed my hand and with a completely serious face he said, "I would have never waited FOUR YEARS for you." And I smiled.

*****

I am still sleeping terribly. Well, when I do sleep it's great, but I am often awake in wee hours of the morning. The other night after tossing for a while, Aaron moved to my side of the bed and cuddled with me. This is the conversation we had at 3 am:

A: having a rough time, eh?

J: wide awake.

A: is there anything I can do for you?

J: what do you think about naming the baby Roman? I wrote about my Grandma last week on my blog and have been thinking about it ever since.

A: I don't think either of us would be satisfied.

J: why not?

A: because I don't love it and deep down you want a Roma.

J: so-- if you're naming this little boy, do I get to name our first girl?

A: Nope. but you can name our fourth girl.

J: bummer.

A: how are you supposed to see the houses when you're hanging your head down so low?

J: are you asleep?

A: no. we're having a conversation here.

J: well, is that some kind of metaphor I'm not familiar with?

A: what are you talking about?

J: see what houses? what do you mean by hanging my head down?

A: (snoring)

J: (trying not to giggle too loud)

he rolled over annoyed and didn't think it was funny until morning.

*****

Last weekend, the boys and I went to watch one of Aaron's tennis matches. He is so coordinated and I love that he makes it a priority to work out often. He takes such great care of himself.


We all loved watching him cream his opponent. But the best part of the match was after it was all over. Ben, Luke and Zack stormed to court to give their Daddy a high five. They were so proud and I couldn't help but smile as he scooped them all up.

There's nothing like seeing the one you love adore your children just as much as you do. This is definitely the good life.

random

just found an old summer video.
I love my husband for so many reasons....

nienie on oprah

Yesterday I watched Stephanie Nielson on Oprah. It was inspiring and emotional and everything beautiful. She looked radiant and it was obvious to everyone how much her Mr. Nielson loves her. I still get tears in my eyes when I think about the way he looks at her. She truly is beautiful.

This morning, before the kids woke up, I logged onto NieNie Dialogues. I have been following her fabulous blog since the crash. But she was documenting her life years before the crash. This morning I read from her archives... somewhere in 2006. As I read, I just kept thinking what a beautiful thing blogging is. She has those precious years documented. Her life is so different now and I am sure those journal entries are priceless. Had she not survived the accident, her children would have such a big piece of her to look back on. They would have known how much she loved being a mother. And how much she enjoyed the everyday, little things.

Although her life is difficult, the world is a better place because she is still here. What a miracle it is that she's still alive! I love thinking about her being able to bathe her boys and make crowns for girls. They need their mother.. Oprah was so right when she called her a Warrior Mother. Stephanie's example makes me want to fight harder, love deeper, live with more enthusiasm, hug my children tighter and count my blessings.

There is something magical about recording the day-to-day mundane things of life. I am so grateful I have the ability/privilege to do the dishes... make lunch for my kids... and enjoy their laughing (and fighting) in the background as I type this. I am also lucky to have my own Prince who loves me despite my weight gain and rollercoaster personality. Today I truly feel grateful-- and exhausted! My kitchen faucet was broken yesterday and I am way behind on laundry... but life is really, really good.

Thanks to Stephanie Nielson for her beauty-- it most definitely comes from the inside and can't help but shine through. Here's to blogging and to enjoying the mundane things in life. Most of all, here's to Mother Warriors everywhere.


ps. if you didn't see Oprah yesterday and you live near me, feel free to stop by and watch it. I made my husband who never watches Oprah sit down after his long day at work. Even he got teary-eyed... which proves it was really touching.

girls, girls EVERYWHERE!

We just said goodbye to some of our favorite GIRLIES! My sister and her 4 girls (and husband) came to visit for a couple of days on their way to California. Lucky for us, they will be coming back later in the week! I could not get enough of the estrogen, ringlets, drama and giggling...

How is it that we each ended up with four kids of the same sex? Is someone playing a joke on us? We might just need to swap a couple. I will give her Zack anyday for her chubby-cheeked little Betty......

October First

I adore October. And not just because it's the season of costumes and candy. October 1st is my Grandma Roma's birthday.

She would be 95 today. Part of me is very glad she's not celebrating her 95th birthday on the Earth. The other part of me really misses her.



I can still hear her scratchy, morning-voice. When I was a girl (and into my teenage years) I would sleep at her house. She would wake up in the morning and make me burnt toast with homemade jam. Often she would forget to put in her teeth until afternoon. Sometimes she had to eat without them because they were lost in her bra. We would sleep in the same bed even though I had my own room in the back hallway of her trailer home. I loved her bedroom. My grandpa's clothes still hung in the closet and still smelled like him. Her colorful jewelry was always scattered on her dresser. Those bright pink clip-on earrings complimented any outfit I was wearing. I remember hearing the train whistle and running to her back porch to count the cars. I loved her well-cared for roses and picking juicy raspberries from her yard. I wish I could steal an oatmeal cookie with drizzled icing from her cookie jar. If it was empty, we would surely head to the Hostess store to fill it up. She would let me pick anything I wanted in the entire store. I would choose a coconut zinger.


What I wouldn't give to look curl up on her couch and look through her black and white photo albums. She would tell one of the many stories from her past. Maybe it would be about the Easter Sunday she met my grandpa.



She and her sisters were wearing new dresses and she told them as they walked to church that ONE of them should meet a handsome man that day. Enter Fred Clawson.


I wish I could remember my grandpa. He had a heart attack and passed away when I was four. My dad idolized his father. Fred was a smart fellow who loved to put mustard on everything. I like to think that my Luke got his great-grandfather's brain and quick wit. I inherited his love for mustard.


My grandma loved her husband and lived over 20 years as a widow. I can only imagine how hard that must have been. I'm sure she's happy celebrating her 95th with him.


Part of me feels that my Grandma is spending her birthday at my house, celebrating with my little family. She would sit in our school session and sing a song to Ben to help him memorize his multiplication table. She would listen to Luke read chapter 10 in his Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle book. She would laugh at Zack when he shook his finger at her while commanding, "NEVER EAT SOGGY WAFFLES, Grandma." She wouldn't even be annoyed with him after he said it for the 20th time. They would all enjoy sitting next to her to play with her stretchy, flabby arms.


I know she would be happy to help me finish making curtains for my kitchen later this afternoon. If only I had her mad sewing skills (and her serger!) After the curtains were hung, we would play Rummikub together. She would encourage my boys to play, but she would never go easy on us. But that's okay because it's more satisfying to whip her when she's trying hard to win. I would tell my boys to be quiet if she placed a blue tile next to a black tile and to plug their ears when she swore. She would challenge us to another game after I won.


But there's not time to play another game. She has a million other grandchildren to see... and she couldn't rest until she's visited every last one. I know that's how she would want to celebrate her birthday because that's how she celebrated her life. Before she left, she would make sure that WE KNEW she loved us and that she was proud of us.


I would tell her how much it means to me that she came to the temple the day I received my endowment. She was recovering from a bad accident and I knew she was in a lot of pain. But it seems nothing could keep her away from supporting her grandchildren and letting them know how much she cared. And despite the cane, wheelchair and neck-brace, she is still smiling.


I would bend down to hug her and squeeze her wrinkly hands and tell her that I think of her often. I look to her for strength when I am having a difficult time... because I know she went through much worse. I would tell her I'm anxious about having another baby and ask her for advice about childbirth. I would explain that we don't have a name for baby #4. I think Roman is a darling name for a little boy. I still have to convince my husband. Yet, I am holding out for a little Roma, if I ever get a girl. Does she know if I have a daughter in heaven?


I would thank her for making me always feel like I was someone special. I would tell her I loved her. I would let her know how proud I am to be HER granddaughter.