delirious-ness

Simon was up all night. After 3 nights in a row of solid sleep, he decided not to be a perfect baby anymore. At 3 am, I was completely delirious. As much as I tried to avoid it, my thoughts kept coming back to Aretha Franklin and the outfit/animal she was wearing at the Rockefeller Center tree-lighting special. How many critters did they have to kill to create that woolly mammoth? Her cleavage must have been freezing in that rainy NY weather...


Around 4 am, I was thinking how funny it is that expecting mothers document how big our tummies get during pregnancy, but then we completely avoid pictures of our bodies after the baby is born. How awesome would it be if I took a full-length profile shot of my post-pregnancy self every week? I am pretty sure my tummy is just as big... In fact, I wonder if there's another baby inside.

At 5:30 am, after maybe an hour of sleep, Simon and I were up again. During my short nap, I had a disturbing dream. Aaron was murdered and I was devastated when I found his body. But then, this strange person came up to me and told me I could relive the day over-- and I had a chance to save him and find the murder. So, while the police where at the crime scene, I was doing my own detective work. The officers found this really fishy and now suspected ME as the murderer. They booked me and took me in for questioning but the whole time I just kept saying that I needed to get back so I could save Aaron. Obviously, they thought I was crazy. I woke up in a cold sweat, relieved to know that I was dreaming, but still feeling just as psycho. Will I ever feel normal again?

I am having REAL nightmares about our upcoming ward Christmas party.. just a week away. I am sure it will turn out fine, but this party will take the cake for flying by the seat of my pants. I don't think I can expect the same kind of gusto out of myself. It's been so long that I can't even remember who I used to be. In fact, I keep telling myself to just SURVIVE the next few months. The house, homeschooling, church responsibilities can all go on the back burner. I just need to SURVIVE. After a few months, I can re-evaluate and set a NEW kind of normal. This motherhood thing ain't for wimps, that's for sure.

Now off to take a nap. Happy weekend!

vintage sesame

Simon is growing out of my favorite baby outfit and I'm trying not to be sad about it. It's pj's that ALL of my boys have worn.. old vintage Sesame Street thermals. I believe I bought the outfit at a garage sale before Ben was born. It's soft and SKIN TIGHT-- which makes their 7-pound bodies seem even smaller. I wash it and put it back on him as soon as it's out of the dryer. It may not look fabulous and it didn't cost me much, but I L.O.V.E. it. It's something about their floppy arms and long legs that makes me want to die and go to heaven.

The other day, I noticed Ben cuddling Simon dressed in the Sesame Street pj's and I had a flash back from 8 years ago. I can't believe how BIG Ben has gotten since then. He is now my best helper and carries his little brother everywhere he goes. I just can't believe how quickly times flies and how fast they grow.

I am not sure I will hang on to any baby items when my kids are grown and out of the house. But if I happen to have a box of keepsakes, you better believe these pj's will be inside. I hope they will always smell as yummy as my newborns.

waffles + gingerbread houses

I was feeling ambitious today and decided to make waffles... nothing like fresh strawberries and blueberries to brighten your afternoon. And I say afternoon because we had breakfast at 12:30 pm. Zack insisted on having a blueberry in EVERY one of his waffle holes.. he can be so greedy sometimes.

Zack saw the whip cream and thought it would make a great beard and mustache to go with his Santa hat. Luckily I was close enough to stop him before it became a disaster. As if he didn't look silly enough in that tiny hat...

A few hours later we embarked on the gingerbread house making. The graham crackers and candy have been sitting on the counter for a few days now and it was all I could do to get my kids to stop asking WHEN we were going to make them. Simon slept through it, thankfully. And even though they fell apart before we were actually finished, it turned out to be an okay activity. Happy december!

loveable Luke

Now, if I really wanted to brag about one of my kids, I should talk about Luke. It seems as though Luke gets mixed in with the craziness... and doesn't get any attention. But the wonderful thing about Luke is that he doesn't need any attention. He doesn't want any. He's just happy-go-lucky and easy to be around. He is such a blessing in my life. He's growing up before my eyes. I cannot believe he's going to turn SEVEN in just a few weeks.


Now, here's a little bragging for you. Luke's always had a humongous head and some people used to make fun of him for it. But the kid is putting that big brain to use. We've been struggling coming up with homeschooling curriculum for him. His 1st grade stuff is a joke. (No, literally, he thinks I am playing a joke on him when I ask him to do it.) The public school wanted to test him to place him in the best category for the K-12 program, (even though they don't typically test until 3rd grade.) I was fine by that but wondered how Luke would do in a formal testing environment. He doesn't talk unless he wants to, so you never know how he will respond.

A few weeks ago, we headed to a public library to meet one of the 1st grade teachers to test. She took Luke out of the room and about 15 minutes later, she came back in to get me. She looked a bit frustrated and she whispered, "I don't know what to do with this child." I wasn't sure what she meant-- that could have meant several different things.. She told me that he quickly tested up through their 5th grade material and she didn't bring anything harder. I followed her back into the testing room for the last part of the assessment. As we walked, she assured me that homeschooling was most definitely the best place for him because she wouldn't know what to do with him in her classroom.

In the private library classroom sat my handsome Luke. He was quietly finishing a workbook (questions about a short story he had read.) It was 5th grade material and he breezed through it. When he came to hand it in, the teacher reviewed his work. Then she said to him, "You forgot to answer the last question." Luke told her that he didn't forget. She was a bit confused and said, "The last question says 'What's the most important part of this story?' Can you tell me what you think was important?"

Luke's shyness showed as he quietly said, "It's just that.... I don't think anything important happened in this story. It was just about a girl and her cat." The teacher shrugged her shoulders and I smiled. This was my child, alright. He wasn't about to make up an answer just to please someone. We walked out to the car holding hands. Amusing myself, I asked Luke again why he didn't think the story was important. He spoke up (much louder than in the library) "Well, it was really boring. No one died. Nothing happened. There wasn't anything important in the whole story."

Since then, we've officially withdrawn Luke from his 1st grade class. No more busy work for this kid. Ben is still doing lots of worksheets, but that's because Ben loves worksheets and stickers. Luke would rather build forts from our couch cushions.

I am really, really grateful for my sweet Luke. Even though his day-to-day activities aren't as exciting as bum shots on the camera, it doesn't mean he's not an important part of our lives. He's exactly what our family needs. I am so glad I get to be his mom and look at his handsome face everyday.

it's my blog and I can brag if I want to....

my baby slept a solid 10 hours last night. I feel like a new woman with a full night's sleep!


Simon is 24 days old (Ben gives me a running count every morning :) We sure love having a baby in our home. He's not smiling yet, but he's definitely more aware and alert. His hands are still constantly by his face-- so we have to keep his nails short. Each time I go to feed him, his soft hands get in the way and ends up attacking his fingers instead of latching on to eat. My kids think it's hilarious. He's making all kinds of crazy faces and cute sounds.

We just love our Slimey Simey..
especially when he sleeps like a champ!