January 4, 2000

Ten years ago today I was in a crowded computer lab in Rexburg, ID. It was the first day of school after Christmas break. I was recovering from mononucleosis and didn't know what to do with my life. I went to the computer lab to write a paper. Instead, I opened up my email account and found an unexpected email from a dear friend. Only I didn't think we were friends anymore because I had already broke his heart. When I saw his name in my inbox, I felt a mixture of emotions: excitement, happiness, comfort, and curiosity. But mostly, seeing his name made me feel like I was home. (Only at the time I didn't realize that all those feelings were LOVE.)

I read his email while tears formed in my eyes. It wasn't very long-- it got straight to the point. He listed reasons why he loved me, the little things that many of my close friends didn't even know. He told me he admired me for wanting to take over the world. He told me to get off my high horse and give him a chance. He wanted to be more than just friends.

I printed the email and walked home reading it over and over again. It was cold outside, but reading his words made me feel warm inside. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't want to lead him on if I couldn't commit. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to lose his friendship. But something inside was telling me this was worth giving it another shot. I was not the same girl who turned him down countless times before. I had changed. Everything seemed good and I had a feeling it was going to turn out okay.

When I arrived at my apartment, I was relieved to see that none of my roommates were home. It was quiet. I went straight to my bedroom and knelt down next my bed. I prayed out loud. I don't know why I felt the need to ask if this was the guy I was going to marry-- it wasn't like we had ever kissed (or even been on a second date.) But I needed to know NOW if it was going to work out. Because if it wasn't, I couldn't go through with it. The minute the words left my lips: "Is HE the man I am going to marry?" a feeling came over me. It was the strongest, clearest answer I had ever received to a prayer. It was much more than a YES... it was as if someone said to me, "Why has it taken you THIS LONG to ask?" I was filled with peace. I was excited and confused and a bit taken aback, but I wasn't scared. I knew that Aaron was going to be my husband, but I didn't realize how lucky I was. Only after being married to him (and watching him raise my sons) do I realize the magnitude of that single decision. Lucky doesn't even begin to cover it.

Why am I sharing such a personal {sacred} story? Because 2010 is the year of answered prayers. Ten years ago, I offered a sincere prayer. The answer I received immediately after changed the direction of my life. It's amazing that God-- who is busy with a bazillion other (more important) things-- would care about a young college girl and her confusing love life. It's amazing that ten years later, He still cares about me and my day-to-day chaos. How grateful I am that He listens. I know without a doubt that He answers.

my buddy and me

If you're still singing a slogan for a doll two decades after it aired on TV, you know it's a good commercial. Did anyone ever actually have a KID SISTER doll? I was never fortunate enough.


Simon got a vintage Cabbage Patch doll for Christmas. It's about twenty-some-odd-years old. My younger brothers (how are they possibly twenty-some-odd-years old?) used to play with it, although I doubt they would ever admit to it. My mom gave it to Simon because she figured if any family needed a doll, it was ours. Sad to say, he has only been a victim of violence in our house... He's survived a gang beating on the trampoline, a stabbing through the heart, and several thousand pretend bullet shots. He doesn't need a parachute when flying down our stairs and he makes a fantastic ball for soccer games in our living room. I have put my foot down and said the doll is no longer allowed out of Simon's crib. My boys think he's in prison, but really I am protecting him from further abuse. I don't know if Simon will actually "play" with it, but I need him to survive for Simon to make that decision for himself. So far, I think Simon is jealous he's got more hair and bothered he's taking up crib space...

for the Grandparents, there are clips of Simon's floppy head on the video blog.

back to the quiet life... with boys only.

My sister and her FOUR GIRLS just left. We had quite the New Years celebration. I always love when Deb comes to visit. Not only is she funny, sweet and easy to be around-- but she's the best hairdresser. She cuts and colors my hair and waxes my eyebrows and won't let me pay her a dime. She's the older sister I've always wanted (inside joke.) We had so much fun with all the girls! We made sure to hit our favorite hot spots-- Blue Diamond, the duck pond and Sonic. Brent had a chance to spend three days climbing at Red Rock and Debbie is an awesome single mom! Her girls are busy and dramatic and we love being around them.




Of course, our favorite thing to do with the Jefferys is hang around the house. We played lots of games, opened presents with oven mitts, told stories, wrested, played legos, giggled and giggled, watched Shark Boy and Lava Girl too many times and had an awesome dance contest which Luke won. There is never a dull moment with these girlies around! Twenty minutes after they left, Luke said, "Listen.. It's so quiet around here!"

love this.

2010 resolution

I LOVE starting a new year. As much as I adore the Holiday season, there's something so refreshing about taking down the Christmas decor (ie. JUNK) and moving forward. ONWARD, I scream, *while cracking a whip!* 2010 is going to be a good year, I can just feel it!!!

As far as making New Year's resolutions.. I take it very seriously. Last year, my goal was to live in the moment. I can't tell you how much that "theme" helped me. I thought about it daily. I enjoyed doing the dishes, appreciated a difficult pregnancy, powered my way through a natural delivery and tried to eat up every little moment of my kids' lives. It was a fantastic year with so many blessings. It was also very hard... but that was all part of living in the moment. I knew it would eventually pass. And it did.

Looking ahead, I know there will be difficult times. In fact, I am in the middle of personal turmoil as I type. I have a new baby, 3 busy boys and an agenda bigger than I can take on. MY PLATE IS WAY TOO FULL. I feel overwhelmed and tired. I don't know how I can possibly do it ALL. The last thing I want to do is make a bunch of goals for myself... but I also have so much to work on. I need to lose baby weight, pay more attention to my husband, be more dedicated to my kids (prepare homeschooling lessons with greater effort) etc, etc, etc. The list is too long and I can't commit to any of it. Somewhere in the middle of all the chaos and stress of making new years resolutions, I had an epiphany. I saw the light and I KNEW exactly what I needed to do in 2010. Pray.

That's my simple (yet not so simple) goal for 2010. Pray. I need to pray more often, longer, with more sincerity and with more faith. I have a LOT to do and I can't do it alone. Leaning on my husband is not the answer. He can't solve all my problems (and doesn't want to hear about most of them.) My kids need a stronger {more sane} mother. I need more comfort. I need more direction. I need more peace. PRAYER is the answer because prayer is where I will find the answers. I will be keeping a personal record of the prayers that are answered this year. I can't wait to start... Here's to 2010.

Happy New Year!