glass half full

In 2012, my New Year's resolution was to be GRATEFUL for the little things in my life. It's been three months, and I can honestly say that everyday I've found something to be grateful for. This was today's list...

I am glad that Luke broke the glass lid to the sugar bowl this morning. If he hadn't, I wouldn't have mopped my kitchen floor. And it needed to be mopped.

I am glad Lil' Ro pooped out the legs and up the back of her diaper. It gave me an excuse to undress her completely. and naked babies are my favorite.

I am grateful that Simon wouldn't take a nap on his own this afternoon. If he had, I wouldn't have laid down next to him. And he wouldn't have grabbed my glasses off my face, put them on his own- upside down and said, "Okay. I'm the mom and I'm in charge."

I am glad Zack knows to make a mess with glue and sprinkles. Because now I have this beautiful love note.

I am glad my two older boys go to public school. If I didn't get up early to take them, I might have stayed in bed all day and never wiped out my fridge.

I'm grateful no one has removed the $2.99 price tag on our mustard bottle. Because every time I see it, it reminds me of California when we bought it while camping on the beach. Those memories and this mustard bottle make me smile.

I am glad Ben tore big holes in his favorite pair of pants. If he hadn't, Daddy wouldn't have cut them off during breakfast and made them into shorts. And Ben is always happier when he's wearing shorts.

I'm glad we have a dog that poops in our yard. She's taught our boys responsibility and hard work.

I am glad my husband works ALL day long. If he didn't, we might not be able to put food on the table. I am grateful I can stay home and make veggie lasagna for dinner.

I'm so glad my husband didn't marry me for my smokin' hot body. If he had, we might not be married anymore.

I'm glad I've wasted so much time blogging over the last five years. We have four family albums to show for it and 2011 almost finished. Zack and Simon also have killer (200 page) baby books. These books are read often!

I'm so glad we don't have any video games at our house. My boys have such a great time playing outside together. I am also grateful it doesn't snow here...

I am grateful to live so far away from our families. If they were just down the street, we wouldn't have made the kind of friends that we have here. We need them and have learned to love them like our own flesh and blood.

dear blog..

Dear blog,

I miss you. I miss writing my abstract thoughts and sending them out into the universe. I've had so many thoughts lately. I've been thinking about my life. about the choices I've made. about the little people that surround me daily and how they will soon grow up and enter the world and make their own choices. They are all adults trapped in little bodies. My two year old knows EXACTLY what he wants. Sometimes he's not sure how to express it, but he knows. He and I have long conversations about what he shouldn't do, even though he knows he's bigger than he looks. While he was sick, we allowed him to come in our room to sleep, and when his ears were really hurting, he worked his way up to our bed. But he's getting better and the other day I was explaining to him that he can't get in our bed anymore at night. He looked at me so determined and said, "Ya. I gotta do that. I do." He knows what he wants and his good looks will get him far in life. He is an amazing person, my two year old. I have such admiration for him.

And my beautiful baby is a full grown woman. She's only 17 pounds right now, but she's determined and bright and stubborn. She needs me to carry her around everywhere I go and insists that she faces outwards so she can take part in the action. She doesn't want to miss anything, ever. She's got a mind of her own, and I hope I stay on her good side because she's a fighter, and I am slightly afraid of her. I can't wait-- not to see who she becomes-- but to see who she already is. And to see what she does with the power that she was born with. I consider her one of my dearest friends.

Watching my three older boys practice for their school play made me so proud. Not of the way they memorized their lines, but of their ability to adapt. And to be vulnerable in front of their classmates. Luke wore a baby's bonnet, a purple bib (that's all we had) and sucked on a pacifier. Ben was willing to be whatever made it easiest for the production. He coached Zack through his lines and told him how awesome it would be to say "Poo" in the microphone. He knew exactly what Zack would and wouldn't do. Wearing a dress and a woman's wig was a minor price to pay for saying "Poo" in front of a large crowd. I love them for so many reasons, but this past weekend I loved them because they are well-adjusted and comfortable in their own skin... They have such adorable, grown-up, handsome faces.

Aaron and I have grown a lot these past few months. We always go through an adjustment period after welcoming a new baby into the family. I think most of that has to do with the fact that I don't get much sleep. Unfortunately he gets the short end of the stick. He is very patient and kind. On Saturday (before the school play) I thought I was going to lose it. The house was a mess and I needed a nap so very badly, but there was no time to rest. Aaron forced me to lay down. He gave me a foot rub and assured me that everything was going to be alright. (I wasn't worried about the play, I was worried about my life :) He told me that I was not allowed to get out of bed for at least 20 minutes. I slept 4 solid hours. When I awoke, my house was spotless. Laundry was folded and put away. The kids were happy and fed. My heart was so grateful. He is not a perfect husband. But he always seems to make the right move when the going gets tough. I adore him for putting up with me day in and day out.

The missionaries came over for dinner tonight. We talked and talked and talked with them. I don't really recall most of what was said because I was looking at their faces and trying to picture them as little boys. It wasn't that long ago their mothers were telling them to wash their hands before coming to the dinnertable. And here they were, washing their hands before sitting at mine, so far away from their own homes and mothers. Soon enough my boys are going to be eating dinner in a home far away from mine. I hope they clear their plates and say thank you for the delicious meal just like the Elders did tonight.

They gave us a spiritual message before they left. Unfortunately, one of the Elders walked in on me nursing the baby in the other room. I didn't know he was going to enter and he definitely didn't expect to find me exposed. It wasn't funny, but I laughed about it... just seconds after it happened, and I am still laughing about it now. If you don't laugh about that kind of stuff, what do you do? Write his mother and apologize? No thank you. He grabbed his scriptures in the other room and then the baby and I buttoned up and joined the family on the rug. They gave a beautiful, heartfelt message about making your home into a sanctuary, where you can feel God's love everyday. I thought it was so meaningful and sweet. I do feel love in my home every. single. day.

Dear blog, I wish I could write more often, but now is just not the right time in my life. One day I hope to catch up with all the good (and hard) things that are happening.

Thanks for being there for me whenever I have a spare minute.

Love always,

J

LoldiGocks and the Bree Thears

Last night was the school talent show. And let me tell you something... the little village where my boys go to school knows how to PAR-TAY like no other! It was not only a school fundraiser, it was a St. Patrick's Day celebration! There was dinner, there was a bake sale, there was an open bar (we had Sprite!), there was music and there was a rockin' audience. Our kids put on a little play-- a spin off Goldilocks and the Three Bears. (A story my mom would tell me as a girl.) One of Ben and Luke's friends dropped out of the play the day before, so Zack stepped in as Mama Bear at the last minute and stole the show! The play is a little over 5 minutes, but it's a stellar performance... totally worth your time.

These little bears ripped off their costumes before I could snap a picture of them in character :(
Roma LOVED the talent show... especially the Disco ball. She was mesmerized!
This family band was the highlight of the night for me! They are in our ward... the lead singer/mom is in our RS presidency and is a natural blonde. She totally worked the stage and I felt like one of their groupies! So much fun!!

Roma Has It

Simon and Ro are feeling better. Zack and I are NOT. I took a five hour nap this blessed Saturday. I woke up to all kids (minus Zack) playing soccer in the garage with Daddy. He is such a great Daddy. There was no food in the house and everyone was starving, so we headed to Cafe Rio in the S-Train. That's what we've been calling our big van these days. Ben and Luke wanted their own burritos at Cafe Rio--- which doubles our total. Why can't they be little forever and be satisfied with their free quesadilla? They each got their own meal and they devoured every last bite. I can't believe how fast they are growing.

Aaron and I talked over dinner about the recent "marriage therapy" we've had. We aren't going to a counselor (although I think it's a great idea for us and anyone else). We've been doing homemade questionairres from self-help books and talking about them whenever we get the chance. I've thoroughly enjoyed the conversations and if I get the time, I will share our exercises with you.... One of the questions we asked each other tonight was, "When in your life did you feel happiest?" Aaron said he was happiest when we were engaged and first married. I disagreed-- only because our engagement was stressful. We were living 4 hours away from each other. We didn't have a car, or a place to live, money.... etc. etc. And our first year of marriage we were both in school full time AND working 40+ hours a week. That was no fun. Then we talked about how happy we were when Ben was born. And Luke was just the cutest baby ever. Neither of us were happy in Spokane, that we agreed on. Law school was so difficult. But then Zack joined our family and that's when life got exciting. Vegas has been SO good to us. We absolutely love it here. We love our friends. We love the weather. Our home has made us a real family. We welcomed two babies in our bedroom. Simon and Roma have been such amazing blessings in our lives. As we sat around the table and talked about our years together and looked at our sweet kids who were growing by the minute, I just couldn't help but feel grateful for every memory we've created together.

On the way home, we blasted Adele in the S-Train. When "Rumor Has It" came on, we could hear the kids singing from the back row. Everyone was well fed and happy. Aaron decided to change the the words to the song and belted out "Roma has it" and everyone quickly followed suit. By the time we pulled up in the driveway, everyone was screaming "Roma has it" at the top of our lungs. I looked at Aaron and said, "I feel happiest now." He smiled back and me. We came inside, changed the kids into their pj's and played cards. Ben and Luke are incredible Rook players. Luke and I lost big time tonight, but I didn't even mind. We put the babies to sleep and read a few chapters of "Double Fudge" to the older boys.

Saturdays don't get much better than this. I feel happiest now.

through the wringer

I swear, I was just saying last week that I was getting the hang of life with 5 kids... As soon as I start feeling comfortable, the rug is pulled out from under me. It's been a really rough week, to say the least.

On Sunday I left church early because Roma threw up during Relief Society. Aaron stayed home from work on Monday because Simon was up all night coughing along with the baby. Tuesday I dosed them with essential oils and tried to keep their fevers down. Wednesday I took them into the pediatrician and came out with prescriptions for ear infections.. both ears in both babies. After 48 hours of carrying around two babies (all day long) I literally put out my back.. I couldn't walk or move for a couple of hours. I called Aaron, half laughing and half crying, because I couldn't believe this was really happening. It's not funny, but it's kinda funny. Wednesday night was the worst.. I didn't sleep a wink. At 5:00 am on Thursday morning, I woke up Aaron and told him to take over. We spent the entire day in bed. These poor babies are so sick...

Simon is the sweetest little 2 year old ever. He wants to put bandaids on his ears and tells me that his "hair is too hot." He wants to be held 24/7. He is so sweet about taking his medicine. He doesn't like it, but when I tell him it will make him better he says, "Otay. I drink it all gone." He is such a handsome little sick boy.

Roma will not take a bottle anymore and will NOT swallow her medicine. (talk about drama!) She literally wants to nurse all the time... which isn't an easy thing to do when I am holding a 30 pound toddler! She coughs so long and so hard that she will throw up everything. I need to start carrying around a bucket for this baby.

My house is a mess and my laundry is piling up by the minute. I need a weekend so badly. I am so grateful for my sweet friends who take my boys to (and from) school, who keep Zack entertained during the day and who bring us dinner at night. We are going to make it through, but it's been a doozy. TGIF. Here's to getting back on our feet again.