gonna SPANK you in HALF!

Cannot go another day without writing about my adorable, stinker of a 3 year old.  Simon is unlike any other child I've ever had.  He started talking so much earlier than my other babies, and I tell you, I cannot get him to shut his trap.  And as much as I would love some peace and quiet around here, I also know these are the days I am gonna miss the most. Because it's late, I have to make this a bullet-point post.

• He was mad at Ben for something- or other- and yelled, "I'm gonna SPANK you in HALF!"  We laughed (of course) and so did he, even though he wasn't sure why it was so funny.
• One of his favorite sayings is, "you cheated me." it never has to do with any kind of game. He just assumes there are rules everyone should follow, rules he made up himself.
• While he was wrestling with the baby (they really were having fun) Roma bit him on the shoulder.  It was a hard bite (she's teething).  Simon was really hurt, but I am so glad it happened because he's usually on the other end of a bite.  He now tells everyone, "This is my baby.  She can bite."  
• He pulled Ro off her toy car today while I was trying to make dinner.  She screamed.  I took him over to the bottom stair (timeout) and before I could say anything, he started his long explanation:  "Mom, I was walking around the house and just walking and walking and then I saw this car.  And I didn't want to walk anymore.  I wanted to ride now.  And I tried to ask Roma if she would get off, but she just screamed at me."  I could NOT keep a straight face.  He was mad that I laughed and said, "Don't!  I like pink cars!"  Best explanation ever.
• We went to the dentist today and he was a total pro in the chair.  The dental assistants were literally gathered around him, smiling and listening to him talk about Halloween, Florida, our dog Sunny, how Iron Man can fly even without a cape... They asked him if he could stop talking so they could look in his mouth.  He opened up wide.  Totally going to use that tactic for naptime.  
• When he's really tired, he talks more.  I usually end up saying, "It's not time for words now, only time for breathing."  It gets him for a minute or so.  If I bribe him to be quiet, he will negotiate something better... 
• While he was going #2 in a public bathroom stall, I told a strange woman that I was waiting for my little toddler.  Big mistake.  He insisted he wasn't a little toddler, he was a big, huge Simon.  When I agreed, he made me tell the lady.  I told her and we laughed as he screamed from the stall, "Yeah!  I am a big, big, big, huge kid."  If I could bottle up that voice, I'd keep it forever.
• On the way to the airport to pick up my parents, Simon was mad he had on a pair of wet socks.  He yelled at me from the back seat, "I'm gonna get a new mom and she won't be a mean one!"  I told him I could pull over the car and find another mom for him.  That made him quiet for a minute, and then he screamed, "I'm gonna tell my GRANDMA on you!"  (Keep in mind, the last time he'd seen his Grandma, he was 18 months old.)
• While reading scriptures, Simon INSISTS on reading on his own.  He skips around the pages until he finds his "favorite" verse and then "reads" a bunch of nonsense.  It's the most random and hilarious sentences. His legs are usually crossed and he has such a serious face when he reads.  This dark video doesn't do justice..  but you get the idea.

Here are a few Simon related facebook status' from the last week or so...

• Simon is having one of THOSE days. After several sessions of timeout, I sat down next to him and said, "When Ben was three, he so nice and helpful. When Luke was three, he sat on my lap and hugged me. When Zack was three he was always happy and sweet. But now that Simon is three, he yells and hits and is mean to everyone." Simon sat quiet for a second and then raised his eyebrows and said, "when Iron Man was three, he didn't like his mom. And when he got really, really mad, he turned into Hulk!"

• Ben, being the awesome brother he is, picked out a few of our fave toddler books and laid next to Simon to read. Somewhere in the middle of the second story, Simon sat up, slapped Ben in the face and said, "I don't want to smell your breath anymore!" Ben, being the awesome brother that he is just laughed it off.

• At the park today, a sweet little girl tried to carry Roma (but obviously didn't realize the baby outweighed her.) Simon saw what was happening from afar and ran over to rescue his little sis. I laughed as he said, "This is MY baby. You can't pick her up or move her or kick her or punch her or hit her or bite her. But you can pet her if you want."

• Kneeling for family prayer at 9 PM, random gratitude conversation.....
  Ben: I'm SO glad it's bedtime!
  Dad: I'm SO glad we have a warm house to live in.
  Zack: I'm SO glad we have a patio in the back yard!
  Roma: mama mamama
  Mom: I'm SO glad I have a baby girl!
  Luke: I'm SO glad we're going to Utah for Halloween.
  Simon: I'm SO glad I'm happy!

zack got a new email account

Ben and Luke have been emailing for a couple of years now and it's about time Zack got his own account.  The only people he's been corresponding with  (outside of our house) are the Grandparents.  this is Zack's email to Aaron's mom this morning.  It took him forever to type, but he finally finished!

i checked my email early in the morning!

we watched a funny cat video on mom's phone. Roma was laughing so hard

i am still sick. thanks for emailing me back.

i want to tell a joke there was a mirror if you tell a lie you will get sucked in. the first girl was a redhead. she said I think I'm super smart and she got sucked in. the next was a brunette and she said I think I'm so pretty and she got sucked in. the next girl was dumb blonde. she said I think and before she could finish her sentence she got sucked in. Bens friend told me that joke.

love wacky zacky.

This is the video of the kids watching a cat video (unfortunately, it was after Ro stopped laughing her guts out.)

love marriage and death

this weekend I started (and finished) The Pioneer Woman's love story to Marlboro Man.  I loved every page and wonder why it took me so long to pick it up.  It got me thinking about my own love story and how grateful I am to have a guy that treats me so well.

The night my parents flew in, Aaron surprised us too.  his flight was delayed (along with my brother David's) so they both missed the big homecoming, but it was so much fun to celebrate with them back at the house.

Aaron and I got assigned (or volunteered, rather) to have the bunkbed room. We let Cindy and her newborn have the queen guest bed.  These bunkbeds are for the grandkids and are in the tiniest back bedroom with shelves of dusty VHS tapes.  We moved the mattresses on the floor and cuddled up 3 inches away from old television screen and watched Robert Downey Jr and Cybill Shepard in Chances Are, an old 80's flick.  I had never heard of it before...( short version: a husband dies and is reincarnated as Robert Downey Jr.  He starts dating his former daughter and then his memory comes back and he realizes he loves the mom, his former wife.... only to forget everything and end up with the daughter again.) It was a bit creepy, but totally entertaining at the same time.

After the movies was over, we stayed up talking about what we'd do if the other one died (I love these kinds of conversations... why is that?)  Aaron asked if I would pull the plug if he was surviving on machines and I totally would.  I told him I want him to speak at my funeral if I died.  He said he would, but then said he would talk about the time he walked in the house and I was naked from the waist down.  I was 8 months pregnant and Zack had just thrown up on me in the bathroom.  I reminded him that he rolled his eyes at me and wouldn't help me get any clothes.  I had to send our sons upstairs to fetch me some new undies..  That led to a long list of stories that we'd share at each other's funerals.. all of which are totally embarrassing and need to be documented sooner or later because they are hilarious.  I have got some that Aaron won't let me share now, but if he's dead, he can't stop me.  Seriously, we have some good dirt on each other.

After laughing hysterically on the floor in the corner of my parents old house, we moved to the more serious subject of remarriage.  I do not think I would be interested in getting remarried.  If Aaron hadn't come along, I would still be single.  I honestly couldn't see myself with anyone else.  I am an awesome wife, but only because he's nice and caring and considerate.  I think remarrying another man would be a huge disappointment after living with Aaron.  But if I died, I would 100% be in favor of him finding another wife.  He knows I will be mad if he stays single. First of all, he has excellent taste in women.  Second of all, he's a fabulous husband and shouldn't waste his talents.  There's a lot of single women out there that need a man like him.  And if he really loved her, I would love her too.  If I die, it better be after my kids are out of the house.  I HATE the thought of someone else raising my kids.  No one else could love them like I do.

Years ago, a friend told me that her mother married her father as a widower.  He had 3 children with a beautiful woman who died of cancer.  This second wife was not as beautiful, but she was such an amazing woman (and confidant enough with herself) that she hung pictures of his first wife all over the home, so her children could remember their mother.  This story has always stuck with me. I think it shows such love and unselfishness. Some of my greatest role models are women who have dealt with ex or deceased spouses with dignity and grace and love.  I can only imagine how difficult it would be to have to share the responsibilities of raising a child with someone else.  To bear no ill feelings or jealousy takes an incredible person.

If you're wondering why this is so random, I should have warned you I took a fine helping of Nyquil before I laid down... and all of the sudden, I am too tired to write anymore.  I hope I don't regret posting this in the morning.  deep thoughts by janet handy.

once upon a time

I used to blog.  I used to upload cute picture of my kids and write the funny things they said.  I did special posts on their birthdays about their favorite things and big milestones.

But things changed.  I have two busy, busy toddlers.  Simon is still literally bouncing off the walls and making messes and hitting people..  My little Ro is walking EVERYWHERE!  I must video her tomorrow.  She is so proud of herself.  She is so cute, but she's a pill too.  She screams at me if I am not doing exactly what she wants when she wants it.  She hits too.

My three older boys are amazing.  It gives me hope that these two littles will eventually become independent and nice.  I've officially been homeschooling for 4 days and they have been such happy days... filled with music, chores, reports, storytime!, math and laughter.  It is totally right for us and I am happy in my bones.  This morning, they were so excited about their oral reports, they were up at 7:30 am, sprawled out on the floor with encyclopedias writing away.  We stayed in our pajamas all day because no one feels well.  It was the best day ever... and nothing exciting happened (unless you think folding and putting away 8 loads of laundry is exciting, which I kinda do.)

Aaron is playing basketball now and everyone is asleep.  I wanted to write Roma's ONE blog post or Simon's BIG THREE but my throat is throbbing and I need to go to sleep.  I just wanted to quickly say hello.  Good things are happening every day.  We are SUPER duper bummed about the outcome of the election, but we are making a difference in our own home and eventually that will make a difference in the country.  I love this free country I live in.  I am free to think and speak and teach my children things that I feel are important.  I want the future of my children and grandchildren to be safe and bright and full of opportunities.  And I have faith it will.

Good night, friends.  When I'm rich, I am going to hire someone to blog for me..

they camed home

Since I last checked in, this is what has happened.

Thursday October 25th.

• Zack and Ben's last day of school
• Shopping for camping gear, ward party supplies and birthday cupcakes at 9:00 pm.  Aaron and I filled up 2 carts and had all five kids running around. It was nutzo. Roma screamed for a banana and I caved at gave it to her in the cart.  She squished it in her hand, wiped it on her clothes and threw it on the ground.   
• We picked up the bounce house and firewood around 10:00 pm.

Friday October 26th

• We set up the bounce house in our driveway at 8:00 am.  If Aaron hadn't helped me before he left for work, I would have been in big trouble.  We should have put it in back, but the concrete was too fresh.  The bounce house kept sliding down our driveway and into the street.  fun times.
• Before Aaron left, he grabbed me by the shoulders and said, "you're psycho."  as if I didn't know.
• Simon's birthday party at 10:00 am.  it was colder that anticipated.  everyone needed jackets and socks in the bounce house.  Everyone had a great time.  Love my friends and my kids' friends.
• Aaron takes Ben and Luke and 12 other scouts on an overnighter.  Ben almost forgot his bag.  I ran it to the church before they left.
• Zack, Simon, Ro and I pick up pizza on the way home from the church.
• Vaughn and Mason come to sleep over.  Jane has had my kids over a few times and it was my turn.  Crazy weekend to do this, but that's the way I work it.
• Kate and kids come over for a late-night jump in the bounce house.  It's still pretty cold!
• Four boys go to bed around midnight, but they played well and let me organize Roma's clothes.  Goodbye sundresses and shorts.  Time to break out the sweaters and boots.

Saturday Oct 27th

• wake up early.. shower, feed the kids breakfast and clean up the house.
• Take kids over to Jane's.  Pack the car with ward party items.
• wait for Aaron to come home from the camp out.  He arrives minutes before the ward party starts.  He goes smelling like roasted hot dogs.  
• soups & salads at the church pavilion.  Donut eating contest, Daddy Mummy wrap, meeting new ward members, bounce house, kids in costume.  The ward party was a success.  Michelle and B came with family.  So fun.  I went as Waldo.
• came home and made dinner for the Sister Missionaries.  Chili and baked potatoes.  easy.
• cleaned while everyone else napped.
• got in costume again for another ward's trunk or treat.  The Sisters needed a ride, and well... it's hard for me to turn down a party.  The kids had a blast.  I went as a nun.

Sunday Oct 28th

• ward council
• Aaron got the kids ready for church.  he's a pro.  Roma was in pink from head to toe.  (he thinks it matches if it's all pink.  cute.)
• Relief Society was good, but I came home from church and cried.  Feeling overwhelmed.
• Ben and Zack wrote me sweet notes and left them under my pillow.  darlings.
• Went to Leigh Ann's to be zoned.  Love her.  stayed too late.

Monday Oct 29th

• threw things in the van for Utah.  Packed all our warm clothes.  we didn't need them.  the Sunshine followed us all the way there.
• was late to my presidency meeting at the church.  cried during my meeting.  not typical of me.
• packed the kids up and hit the freeway around 10:30 am.
• needed a break in St. George.  Decided to hit up the DI and get Ben a pair of pants.  Everything that fit him last winter is 5 sizes too small.  that kid is growing like a weed.
• had a blast in the dressing room with all five of my kids.  Everyone found a treasure or two.
• took 2.5 hours to get from St George to Cedar.  what the.... everyone was DYING to get out of the car, including me.
• Picked up Cafe Rio in the drive thru (why can't they all be built this way?) Took the food to McD's and ate there.  The kids played for another 90 minutes.  Longest drive already and we weren't even half way there.
• stop again in Nephi.  Simon has to go #2.  Glad he's potty trained but it can be annoying. 
• arrive at nancy and Julie's about 9:00 pm.  more than 9 hours on the road.
• Scott and Amy are there for dinner.  We have fun visiting and the kids have a blast in the basement.
• the boys stay up in my bedroom watching "nightmare before christmas" on a VHS.

Tuesday Oct 30th

• Nance and Julie make breakfast and go into work late so we can catch up.  Nancy is sick and has no voice but she still makes great conversation.  Love these women!
• I take the boys to The Hostess Shop by my Grandma's old house.  We bought six loaves of old bread for a dollar.  We drive through the neighborhood and hit up the duck pond. 
• We fed ducks on the bridge and ran through the leaves at the park.  I was feeling very nostalgic.  The leaves were red and gold and the kids were in heaven.  I didn't want to leave.  I called Aaron from the park bench while I watched the kids play.  Someone is looking down on us and blessing us.
• We eventually pack up and leave.. but not before checking out Grandma's club house where I learned how to swim.  It looks exactly the same.  I feel so grateful for the memories I made with her as a child.  She molded me.
• While driving to Salt Lake, I think about how special is it I have a daughter named Roma.  Every day I get to tell someone why I named her that and how special my Grandma was to me.  I always knew I wanted a Roma, but I never knew it would give me the opportunity to share such personal information with total strangers.
• We arrive at Debbie's house around lunch.  I make soup for the cousin party while watching a political  show on TV.  Can't get enough.  can't wait for Nov 6th.
• Party at Lori's house.  Dinner and costumes and kids everywhere.  We make and decorate the letters we'll take to the airport.  Everyone is SO excited!!
• Hit a haunted house on the way home with Debbie's girls.  Luke and Zack were telling the girls how much I love Halloween.  Ben follows up with, "Not to mention, she basically loves every single holiday that was ever invented."  Aaron thought that was so.hilarious.  I hope they always remember that about me after I die.

Wednesday October 31st

• early morning costume parade at the charter school.  way fun.  Roma danced through the whole thing.
• head to my parents house for hard work!  The carpets are cleaned and everything looks amazing.  So proud of my siblings for everything they've done.  still A LOT to do before they get home.  So excited!
• Meet Jade and John for a quick dinner at Dickie's.  They are almost parents!  Zack is sick through dinner and won't eat a thing...  
• find some purple pants and cut them into shorts for Ben's halloween costume.  Ro was supposed to be Hulk and Ben was going to be Hawkeye.  We waited to buy a baby Hulk costume, so she was stuck being a Monkey... and she was a darn cute one.  Ben pieced together his costume last minute (using a t-shirt he already owned.)  He looked amazing... He loves Halloween like I do.
• We trick or treat with Lori's kids.  It turns out to be SO chaotic and crazy.  Lori and I lost all the kids (waiting for the toddlers).  I worried for a minute, but we were in Utah, there's no bad people there.  
• Simon loves running from house to house until he hates it.  He starts screaming at me when I tell him to use the sidewalk, "Don't tell me anything.  Don't talk to me."  People around were laughing hard and Lori and I dying.  This was supposed to be fun.  Ro loved her dum-dums.
• We finally found the older boys and they weren't even together!  They were all just running from house to house as fast as they could.  Boys are so weird.  But they got tons of candy and stayed up all night.
• We all slept at Lori's.  I stayed up watching Obama's America 2016.  We need to get more food storage and emergency preparedness. 
• The kids would NOT to go sleep.  They were laughing so hard at 3 am.  I told them if they didn't turn off the lights and shut up! we would never sleep at the Singletons again.  My threats always work.
• My van was parked behind Philip's and I woke up at 6 am to move it.  Terrible night's sleep.  I missed my bed.  and my husband.

Thursday November 1st.  

• Busy day at the Grandparents.  Lori and I leave all the kids at her house and get some caffeine on the way to Moms.  Annette, Deb, Amy & Jen show up too.  Katie is home without a husband and sick kids :(  We literally work ALL day.  I paint the door red to add to the chaos.
• The kids are all alive when we return home.  We get Sconecutter for dinner and end up sleeping back at Moms because there is still work to do.
• Buy a playpen for Grandma's nursery.  She needs it...
• Val stops over for a minute while I'm bathing 6 or 7 or 8 kids.  Love that she lives down the street.  She is the only friend I see all week... sad about that.

Friday November 2nd.  

• Today is the day!  Dusting and bathrooms get scrubbed.  Fridge is cleaned out and stocked with good food.  Lori and I spend $200 on dinner for that night (of course everyone chips in later.)  Big party planned for when they get home!
• make the banner about an hour before we leave for the airport.  I outlined it and 10 kids help fill it in with little markers.  Everyone is excited!
• I drive to Deb's house to get ready (quickly).  Mom and Dad's plane is delayed an hour..  
• Everyone meets at their house to carpool to the airport.  There are 16 cars on the street and kids everywhere.  We hang the banner just minutes before it's time to leave.  Lori is my hero.
• the airport is magical.  the kids line up with their letters that spell WELCOME HOME GRANDMA AND GRANDPA! 29 letters in all.  people are stopping in their tracks and taking pictures of these cute kids.  
• When Grandma and Grandpa finally arrive, the kids don't move a muscle.  They just stay lined up with their letters until Grandma finally kneels down and reaches her arms out for a hug.  They swarm her.  
• Grandpa meets Roma first and gives her a kiss on the cheek.  She is a little shy but gives him a sweet smile.
• There is lots of laughter, tears and pictures being taken.  The kids are now running wild.
• Paisley follows the boys while playing and gets stuck... on the OUTSIDE of the ESCALATOR and is carried up to the second floor screaming her guts out.  A strange man runs up the escalator and pulls her over the other side.  We were all so scared, but as soon as she was safe, we laughed and laughed and laughed. 
• Aaron flew in but missed Paisley's dramatic escalator adventure by minutes.  We were SO happy to see Daddy!  He looks so handsome.  Zack wrote him a special letter and filled it with Whoppers.  
• We drive back to Mom and Dad's with Cindy and baby Aubrey.  We were happy to find they were still being released at the Stake Center.
• The kids played in the leaves in the backyard with their cousins.  I was happy to catch a shot through the blinds.  They love each other and have such a great time together.

that's all I can type for now.. my husband is in bed and it's time to turn off the lights.  Pictures and more events of this crazy week later...