love gifts

I'm staying up waayy past my bedtime for this, so it must be important. Today was a very special valentine's day. This year we decided to rekindle a tradition from Aaron's childhood-- The exchanging of handmade, homemade love gifts. We drew names of family members early in February and we've been working on them all month. (It's been a total pain in the butt if you ask me) but it all turned out pretty cute. We originally planned on exchanging these gifts for family home evening this past Monday, but no one was quite ready, so we waited until Valentine's Day and it was a perfect family LOVE night.

Aaron sent Luke (and his brothers) all around the house on a treasure hunt.   It was all rhymes and clues and fill-in-the-blanks and screams and laughter.  They went from the snakes aquarium to the trampoline to the toy room to the garage to Roma's crib and finally, the love gift was out in our mail box.  Luke found a cute laminated valentine (with a special note written on the back from Daddy..)  Not sure if Luke is going to use this as a bookmark or Christmas ornament, but it's a sweet keepsake.  Along with it was a gift-card to get a tropical smoothie... which they will use for a future date.

Simon drew Zack's name and he helped me make two felt hand-puppets.  We originally planned to make puppets of everyone in the family, but it was too time consuming and Simon was hurting the project more than he was helping (surprise, surprise.)  He did help glue on buttons and he the faces.  Zack was thrilled.  They've been using them to fight each other...

Ben was an overachiever this year and made Dad two gifts.  The first, a handpainted picture frame with shells from our Florida trip was too easy for Ben.  He finished it in two days and then wanted to do more.  So he made him a pillow from an old sheet and then glued #1 Dad on the pillow with felt letters.  The frame is darling (the backside has a personal message painted on too) and the pillow is going to fall apart any day... (hand-sewn with love!)

Zack worked SO HARD on my gift and although I am not sure what I am going to do with it, I truly do love it. What is it you ask?  A paper mache head of me!  It can double as a mailbox, so you can put love notes inside my mouth.  It's very fragile and came with instructions on how to care for it "do not let anyone touch it under the age of 5, thank you."  I will find a way to hang it somewhere in my home without it looking morbid.  (Why do you have a huge head hanging from the ceiling? our friends will ask..)

[and ps.  I had every intension of showering and putting on makeup for my husband on this day for lovers, but I was too busy helping a certain someone sew on arms to his stuffed monster...]


Simon is the proud receiver of this scary stuffed monster.  This idea was 100% Luke's and he did most of it himself, although I spent the majority of my day helping him piece it together.  He cut up a soft white towel, sewed it into a square, stuffed it, gave it arms, legs and claws, glued a face on it..  Today he decided it needed something else, so we put horns on it too.  It is darling and Simon went to bed cuddled up to it's angry face.

Roma drew Ben's name.  She bought him a BABYSITTING kit complete with glow sticks, microwave popcorn, band aids, kleenex, coloring activities, books and his own cell phone.  What?  yes, he can now take his phone on babysitting jobs and he's so super excited.  He started entering the parents names of the families he sees regularly and will use the calendar to book his appointments.  He was way excited.  Roma was pretty happy about it too.

had to add one more picture even though the flash nearly blinded them.  This girl is such a light in our family.  We love her and her nasty face.

I drew Roma's name and made her a dozen new bows and flowers for her head... but never had the time to put the clips on them.  They are way cute.  I also finally pinned her first little outfit in a shadowbox for her room.  Before I hang it on the wall, I want to take a picture of her round body holding this premie shirt.  I die every time I think about her fitting in it.  It's doll sized... and so cute.  I also want to add a picture of her wearing it, which I have but haven't printed yet.   Love these little keepsakes.

I think by next year we will be recovered from craft mess and want to do it again.  The kids were literally SO happy to give each other something they made.  It totally filled our home with love and chaos.

The rest of the day was fun too.  Aaron and I each wrote cards to each other.  He brought me home bright pink roses and helped me throw a salad together for dinner (yes, that's a gift)...  I bought him the NICEST set of fingernail and toenail clippers you will ever see.  He was impressed.  We had heart pancakes for breakfast, heart sandwiches for lunch and heart pizza for dinner.  We are all pinked out.  No Valentine's party this year with other couples... too much on my plate.  Too many kids and not a single maid to clean up after us!

Hope your holiday was filled with LOVE.

marriage and freedom

I've been reading Gandhi's autobiography in my spare time... (which is like 3 minutes per day)  it's for our adult/homeschooling/couple's book club in February.  I don't think I'm gonna finish it in time because I'm cheating on Gandhi with a couple of other books on the side...  Aaron's not reading it at all, but every once in a while he'll ask me about it.. and then I go off for an hour longer and we always end up talking about our marriage-- which has led Aaron to stop asking, naturally.

Gandhi was married at age 13.  It was an arranged marriage, to his wife who was 14 years old.  The betrothal took place when they were 7.  They still lived with their parents for several months of the year until they were 18.  In his words he said, it was his "painful duty" to record his experience.  He takes pity on his 13 year old self and congratulates children who have escaped his lot in life.  It's not that he doesn't get along with his wife... it's just that he's been married to her since he was a child.  And he didn't make that decision to marry-- he was forced into it.  There are so many interesting things about his story and his life, but his thoughts and views on marriage and freedom have had my wheels turning these past few weeks...

Although I wasn't 13, looking back, I was a child bride.  I was too young and I knew it.  And I honestly didn't want to get married.  Nothing against my sweet husband, I just didn't want to be tied down.  I wanted (and still desperately want) to be free!  And I felt that as soon as I married and had children, I wouldn't be free to do what I wanted.. Motherhood has taken away much of my free time, but not my freedom.  Right now, I am in the trenches.  I never have time for myself.  I am currently typing this at 2 am because my daughter will not allow me to sit at the computer.  And when she's napping, my priority is my other children.  I dream of being able to have the time do to whatever I please.  But the odd thing is, I feel a great amount of peace and understanding, and such a sense of freedom, especially these past few months.

That sense of freedom (as a mother with my little chicks) was significantly squashed when I sent them to public school.  I know it sounds backward, but our ability to be a family and do what we wanted when we wanted to do it was limited.  It was only when I decided to pull them out of school that I realized how important our time is together... and so even though I feel less time for myself, I also feel free again.

At one of our recent homeschooling parent meetings, the question was asked, "What is your greatest hope for your children and their future?"  My first response to that question was that I want my children to love life & learning and also know how to work hard...  A friend's simple answer took me by surprise, she said, "I want my children to be FREE!"  She went on to explain that as we become educated through self-discipline, we become free.  President Boyd K Packer gave a beautiful address in 1971 that explains this principle.  Below is an excerpt-- (but the entire talk is well worth your time!)

Remember, my brethren . . . ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free. (Helaman 14:30.)

If you feel pressed in and pressured and not free, it may be for one of two reasons. One, if you have lost freedom, possibly it has been through some irresponsible act of your own. Now you must regain it. You may be indentured–indentured to some habits of laziness or indolence; some even become slaves to addiction. The other reason is that maybe if you are not free you have not earned it. Freedom is not a self-preserving gift. It has to be earned, and it has to be protected.

For instance, I am not free to play the piano, for I do not know how. I cannot play the piano. I could quickly prove that, but I think it may be a mistake on your part if you ask me to. The ability to play the piano, the freedom to do that, has to be earned. It is a relatively expensive freedom. It takes an investment of time and of discipline. This discipline begins, as discipline usually does, from without. I hope that you do not have contempt for discipline that originates from without. That is the beginning. A parent usually presses a youngster to practice the piano. But somewhere, it is hoped, practice grows into self-discipline, which is really the only kind of discipline. The discipline that comes from within is that which makes a young person decide that he wants to be free to play the piano and play it well. Therefore, he is willing to pay the price. Then he can be free from supervision, from pressure, from whatever forms of persuasion parents use.

This principle has made everything SO CLEAR to me.  What I've realized is that I have given up my plans for what I thought was a well-planned life and what I've received in return has been some of the most sacred and fulfilling moments, and a huge sense of freedom-- not to be confused with free time to do what I want whenever I want.  I am FREE, more so than I ever was.  And as I teach my children responsibility, the more they are able to take on, the more freedom they receive.  Knowledge is power.  Obedience and discipline leads to freedom.  Sacrificing things that are meaningful and important for a greater cause can truly lead to happiness and fulfillment.  This I have experienced since becoming a mother and I wife.  And even though I made the decision to marry at a young age, I am starting to realize that it was wise of me to obey what I felt was the RIGHT decision even though it wasn't in my plans.  I was doing what I knew God wanted me to do and because I obeyed, my world opened up to new possibilities and I have been able to see myself in a new light...



 I realize I this post might not make much sense to anyone else.. I hate to end it here, but my laptop is dying and my cord is downstairs..  I should tie all these random paragraphs together but I have to go to sleep so I can function as a mama tomorrow...  I guess I will publish even though I might regret it in the morning. Goodnight!

weekend schmeekend

2013 started out rough... We were sick for most of January and into Feb.  The weekends have been so busy, and we haven't been able to get the hang of our Sunday routine.  Church is at 2:00-5:00 pm. can I get a whuuut?

Last weekend, I felt another wave of the flu coming on.  Saturday was miserable.  Simon and Ro had the pukes (again!)  Aaron had a few things going on and we weren't able to go grocery shopping until the evening.  The babies were so sick and had gone to sleep early, so we left the older boys home to babysit and we hit the store... but before the store, Aaron pulled up at Chili's and said we were going in for some good conversation.  It was a real date!  Only I was wearing tennis shoes and grubby clothes (no makeup, knotty hair, major hot look.)  But we went inside anyway and found a corner booth and had such a good time.  We ordered chips and salsa and desert and chatted about the nerdy things we do.  If it was a first date, I would have totally married this guy.  He is my fave.  We ran into the store on the way home and grabbed some meds and a few things for sunday dinner.  On the way home, I casually asked him if he would take over Sunday dinner (something that has happened never in our marriage) and he was totally on board.  But only because he wanted action..

feeling sexy at chili's.  nevermind my grandma hands.

Sunday was crazy.  I had meetings in the mornings and a lesson to teach in rs.  (ward conference).  Aaron was home with the sick babies.  During Sacrament meeting, I felt so terrible.. I came home to pop a few Sudafeds and headed back to the church, but not before helping Aaron with the meal and thanking him for taking over.  I went back to teach and do not have a clue on what I said... after it was over, I was a little afraid to drive home.  But I made it back safely.  It was 6:00 or so when I came home and bless my sweet hubby, he was so enthralled in the Australian open and hadn't done much for dinner.  I was so sick and so annoyed and he felt bad.  It took a while to put the food on the table and we hashed it out later.. It was another long week of laundry, throw-up, coughing and sleepless nights. 

Yesterday (Sunday) finally came and low and behold... we still had sick kids!  It was Luke's birthday and it was not such a great morning, but the birthday boy didn't know the difference.  He would have said it was wonderful day had we locked him inside a closet with nothing to eat.  The kid don't care bout nothing.  Before church, I gave the older boys an option of staying with Dad, but Ben said, "I really want to stay home, but only because I want to play with Legos and I know that's not a good enough reason."  So cute.  Luke came too cause it was his birthday.. ?  Heaven knows I wanted to stay and play with Legos or sleep....  

Church was great and uplifting.  I stayed afterward for longer than I expected.  The boys waited for a while and then got a ride home with a friend.  Aaron had dinner waiting on the table and it got cold-- but eventually they ate without me.  I came home around 7 pm... and literally minutes before I walked through the door, Ben was being a sweetheart and cleared the table.  He gave the leftovers to the dog (something we do every night) but he didn't realize that MY plate was on the table... Aaron saved it for me to warm up when I got home.  But Ben got rid of everything. (I was starving.. it was fast Sunday afterall) and there was zero food.  Naturally Aaron was sweating bullets.. he was so cute about it.  I had to resort to a salad and some chips and salsa.  We had a pretty good laugh about it.  I teased him that he used the old "dog ate it" trick when there was not a trace of dinner (or dishes) to show for it... but the kids said it was the best spaghetti they ever had.

brownies on fire

I whipped up a batch of brownies quickly and AS SOON as they were out of the oven, I put candles it them and we quickly sang so I could go back to the church.  Ever put candles in a hot pan of brownies?  They melted completely into the mix and the whole pan was on fire-- and they all tasted like candle wax.  It was awesome.  not. I went back to the church for another meeting and lots of paperwork.  When I got home and crawled into bed, Aaron apologized about dinner (again) and told me that getting it on the table with Roma and Simon biting at his ankles was really difficult.  And that comment was the best part of my day.  

Mondays are usually good, but today was a doozy.  Aaron came home from work and the house was a mess.  Kids were crying, the dog was running a muck.  I didn't have anything planned for FHE, and dinner was a sad sight.  Aaron changed his clothes, quickly warmed up a plate, loaded up the kids in the van and ran to the store to get some milk and other necessary items.  He is the most handsomest and sweetest man in the whole world.  I blasted music, mopped the kitchen floor, cleaned out the fridge, ran the dishwasher for the second time today and felt like a brand new woman.  

I love my life.  It sucks, but I can't help but love it.     

blissfully rocking

One of our educational goals for 2013 is to memorize one poem every month.
It's been a fun family challenge.

This was my poem for January...
--it was written for me, and my Roma Doll--
This I know, (and not just because of the title..)

I type it from memory.

Song for a Fifth Child
By Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo.

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
Look!  Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs;  Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

We've invited our homeschool friends to memorize poems for February and we are planning a recital at the end of the month.  I'm looking forward to it.  The boys can recite their poems, but really need help on the delivery :)

January FB updates

1/2
12 day Christmas vacation jam-packed with family, fun and chaos is over. I came home with the people I need, those I can't live without. Looking forward to enjoying where I am.. and acknowledging that I am standing exactly where I want and need to be.

"No one longs for what he or she already has, and yet the accumulated insight of those wise about the spiritual life suggests that the reason so many of us cannot see the red X that marks the spot is because we are standing on it. The treasure we seek requires no lengthy expedition, no expensive equipment, no superior aptitude or special company. All we lack is the willingness to imagine that we already have everything we need. The only thing missing is our consent to be where we are.” ~Barbara Brown Taylor

1/9
This morning I waved to my husband and kids on the curb as I left for a quick dentist appt. As I drove away, my husband said something like, "so this is how it feels everyday to stay home and hang out with the kids." I was mad at myself for leaving the house so clean, (never typical of my regular routine.) An hour later, I called him to check in and let him know I was finished. He was on the other line with a student loan company and couldn't talk long. The baby was crying in the background and all he had time to say was, "ugh. unclogging a toilet, the kids are screaming. I've gotta go." Best 20 second phone call of my life.

1/11
As our son was sobbing outside our bedroom door around 10 pm last night, my husband kindly observed, "He is a lot like his mother. Happy-go-lucky and a friend to everyone during the day... and an emotional wreck past bedtime." I completely disagreed, buried my face in pillows and cried myself to sleep.

1/18
Zack (after helping his sister put on a pair of mittens only for her to rip them off): ugh! She keeps changing her mind and changing her mind! Off, on, off, on! 
Ben: huh. I hear girls are like that.

1/29
Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things. -Elise Boulding