Luke bio -- part 3

Do you know anything about your parents when they were children?

I know my Dad moved around a lot, like every 2 years.  Like Colorado and Mexico and basically everywhere but Alaska.  His coolest house was in Mexico and he had an elevator and a maid there.  One house that he lived in Texas, he and Brett didn't have a bedroom or a bed and they had to pull out a hide-a-bed every single night and use a vacuum closet for their clothes. 

I know my mom moved into my Grandma and Grandpa’s house when she was about 4.  And she met her friend Francine when she was 5.  She had lots of pets, like lots of cats and a dog named Peanut.  And one time her brother David tried to make a cat swim and he drowned it in a bucket of water, and it almost died, but they dried it off with a towel and it came back alive.  And one time a date came to pick her up and heard a cat under the couch and lifted it up but couldn't see it, then he put the couch down and it smashed the cats neck and killed it!  And my mom’s parents weren't home, but all of her younger siblings were crying and my mom was kind of laughing about it because it was so crazy.  My grandpa had to put it to sleep that night.

What kind of job did your father have? What do you remember about it?

My dad is a lawyer and he goes and writes about cases that he has to defend in court.  He usually wears a suit with a tie and he leaves around 7 or 8 in the morning and sometimes he comes back just in time for dinner.  But other times he comes home at 10 or 11 at night.  He sometimes goes to the courthouse and talks to a judge and tries to help people.

Did your mother work outside of the home?

My mom stays home and takes care of me and my siblings.  She cleans up a lot and she grocery shops and buys things that we need.  And a lot of times, she takes us fun places and buys us ice cream if we’re good or just takes us to the park or a museum.  She lets us invite friends to come with us because we have room in our van.  She doesn't get paid for it, but she does it anyway and she’s still happy about it.  Because she loves us and has fun playing games with us. 

What was your favorite dinner that your mother made? What was the worst?

My favorite meal ever is chicken fajitas.  They are so good and my mom always makes them for me for my birthday or sometimes just because.  I usually  have like 3 servings.  I know how to make them too.  We cut up peppers and chicken and onions and cook them with lots of spices, but I don’t really know how long to cook it, just until my mom says its ready.  Then we wrap them in tortillas and cheese and add tomatoes and sour cream and guacamole. They are so yummy! One time my dad made fajitas but they were way too spicy for anyone to eat and we had to give them to Sunny.  I really don’t have a worst food, I guess if the food is burned then it’s not really good.  I like every food basically.

Describe a typical weekday as a child.  Were Saturdays the same?

We wake up around 7 or 8.  Not really with an alarm, just when we hear everyone awake.  We first do our morning chores and then we eat breakfast and do our jobs.  Then we usually go somewhere fun, but not every single day.  It’s usually like the library or a bike ride or hiking or a museum.  Then we come home for lunch and Simon and Roma take a nap while we do our school work.  After a couple of hours of studying, we have free time to play and do whatever we want, which is usually Legos or play in our backyard.  Or play card games or other games.  Then we get ready for dinner and our Dad to come home from work.  Although he’s home every day right now and it’s awesome.  Everyday feels like Saturday!  Saturdays are usually the same accept our Dad is home.  Sometimes on Saturdays we can go to a friend’s house too because they are home from school that day. 

Zack's Bio -- part 3

Do you know anything about your parents when they were children?

My dad lived in a lot of different places and he didn't really like moving around very much.  Sometimes he had a lot of friends and sometimes there were no kids his age.  Right now, there’s not really very many friends my age that I can play with, so that’s the same as my Dad.

My Mom lived in Utah her whole life and she has a really big family.  She’s the middle child, just like me!  And she had freckles just like me!  She had lots and lots of friends growing up and she still even plays with them and we play with their kids too.  It’s fun.

What kind of job did your father have? What do you remember about it?

My dad is a lawyer.  He tells people about the law and helps them so they don’t get in trouble or go to jail.  He wears church clothes to work and always looks nice. 

Did your mother work outside of the home?

My mom’s job is to take care of the kids and to teach us how to work and how to be nice to each other.  She wears nice clothes sometimes, but never church clothes.  Sometimes we can just stay in comfortable clothes, like pajamas, all day.  She also cooks and teaches us how to make food.  It’s yummy!

What was your favorite dinner that your mother made? What was the worst?

My favorite food is waffles we usually have them for breakfast but sometimes, if we’re lucky, we get them for dinner too.  I just like syrup on mine and if they are desserts, then I like to put strawberries and whip cream and even ice cream!!

all of my worst dinners are hotdogs, chicken, and hamburgers.  I don’t really like to eat meat that much.  I am kind of a vegetarian and I love all vegetables except not squash.

Describe a typical weekday as a child.  Were Saturdays the same?

We wake up, get to play Legos, do our jobs and morning chores, then we do rotations like practice piano, math, reading, and write in our journals and write reports about things we like.  And like right now, I’m working on my biography!  After school, we get to play on the trampoline, ride bikes, invite friends over, go to scouts, make dinner and then go to bed by 8:30.  Saturdays are kind of the same, but different because we can stay up late on Friday night and have a Lego party.  And we do fun stuff together as a family in the day like go to the park with our dad.  We don’t have videos games but sometimes we can earn computer time if we get all of our work done.  Me and Simon like to play a computer game called “Super Smash Flash”

teenagers

Tyson Buck came over for dinner on Saturday night.  Tyson is one of my older brother's best friends.  I haven't seen him in 8 years or so, but we picked up just where we left off.  He lives in Oregon with his cute wife and three kids and just so happened to be in town for an Ortho convention (love living in Vegas for this reason, it seems like everyone eventually ends up here for work.)  He came over at 6pm.  We had steak and potatoes for dinner.  He brought dessert.  The kids visited for a bit, but went upstairs to play while Aaron, Ty and I stayed up until 11pm talking and laughing and reminiscing about the good old days.

After he left, our kids were still awake and they came downstairs and we talked about what we want for them as teenagers.  I would LOVE to give them opportunities to hang out with young men and women their age and have the freedom to be kids.  It doesn't seem like that's something we can give them here in Vegas.  It doesn't seem like parents trust teenagers anymore.  What's happening to the world these days?

Some of the best memories I made growing up was having sleepovers with our friends.  I know that so many parents are cautious about this nowadays and I understand why they are, but it still bothers me.  Why can't good kids stay up late and laugh and hang out on the weekends?  I had such a GREAT group of teenagers in my neighborhood.  This sounds crazy to me now, but we went on camping trips on the weekends without any adult supervision.  I know that sounds dangerous, a bunch of 16-18 boys and girls sleeping in the mountains without anyone making sure we weren't getting into trouble.  But guess what?  We weren't getting into trouble!  We were making fires and telling ghost stories.  The girls slept in one place and the boys slept in another.  In the morning, we woke up and made breakfast together.  How fun (and safe) is that?  It really was the best of times.

Do I want my boys to have sleepovers with girls?  Of course not, but I do want them to have good friends that are girls.  It would be great if they took them on dates every once in a while, too.  I want them to feel comfortable to be themselves-- to be play silly games and eat junk food and laugh about the latest dumb movie.  Do I trust my boys to be around other teenagers and not get in trouble?  Totally.  100%.  Do I trust other teenagers?  Yes, not all of them, but I know there are good ones out there.

Last night, Aaron and I played cards with Ben and Luke until midnight.  We laughed and talked about what we want for them as teenagers and asked them where they want to live.  They both want to go to Utah.  It's so cold there, but I think it might be the best place to raise teenagers.

RSP

I was released as relief society president today.  it was one of my favorite Sundays ever.

I don't mean to say I didn't love serving, because I did.  But the timing was perfect and the release felt exactly like what it should feel like.. a release of responsibilities and stress, like a big burden was lifted off my shoulders, without having to give up any of the relationships I developed along the way.

The Bishop asked me to bear my testimony along with the new presidency that was called today.  I (always) have things to say, but when I stood up at the pulpit, my mind was blank.  zero thoughts were floating around..  Yesterday I went through all of my boys names before I finally got to the right one (Luke).   I get their names mixed up when I am not pregnant, but when I am pregnant, I feel like I have zero brain waves.  And that's how I felt at the pulpit this morning.  I went through a few thoughts and none of them were the right ones...  All I really felt like saying was how happy I was.  I should have left it at that.  But as authentic as that would have been, it didn't seem appropriate.

Now that's it's 2:30 am and I've spent my Sunday not sleeping, I figure it would be best to get my thoughts out through writing.  There are significant lessons I learned while serving in this capacity.  Who knows how many I can get out before my brain shuts off for good.

• When I was first called, I had a conversation with an older woman who I didn't know well, but she felt inspired to tell me about her experience while serving as RSP and I am so grateful she did.  She explained that she was very overwhelmed and many times she had to make sacrifices at the expense of her family.  She missed school assemblies and dance recitals and countless dinnertime conversations because she was busy serving the women in her ward.  Now that it's been years later and her kids are grown, she really regrets putting her calling before her family.  She told me that if a decision came between serving outside the home and spending time with my family, I wouldn't ever regret choosing my husband or children over church responsibilities.  That struck me and I never forgot it.  I made a significant effort to be present with my children and husband the entire time I served.  And I don't regret a single decision because of her advice.  Yes, there were some days I felt like I wasn't doing enough for the women in my ward, but I delegated things that were pressing and I realized that everyone else would survive.  I let calls go to voicemail.  I told others to try to figure it out on their own before they asked for help.  If someone did or said something bothered me and it took my thoughts away from my children during the day, I honestly wouldn't allow it to bother me anymore.  It was as simple as that.  I stopped stewing over it and let it go, like water under a bridge.  

• The second biggest lesson came during my meeting with the Bishop as he released me.  He sat me down, told me they were reorganizing the presidency (something I knew because my 1st counselor is going through some health issues, my 2nd counselor just had a baby, and my secretary is moving this week.. it was definitely the right time for all!)  then after the release he told me he had an assignment for me.  I thought he might issue another calling.  Instead he said, "I would like you to go home and ask God if He is pleased with your service.  And then pray to know how you could have done better in your calling."  I was taken back by this assignment.  I could give you a long list of a million things I could have done better.  I already knew, I didn't need to pray about it.  But the idea of taking inventory at the end of the road is something I never do.  I realized quickly that this is what I need to do on a daily basis in order to develop myself and become who I was intended to be.  In the past week, each night as I lay down, I ask God if He was pleased with my day (which is much different than with being pleased with it myself) and then go through a few items of where I could have improved.  It's been so significant that I started writing them down.  I make a ton of mistakes.  Some of them are painful to write.  But hopefully that pain keeps me from doing it the next day.  It's been a new way of journaling for me.  Much more significant than writing what I am grateful for (although that helps too :)  But I don't want to be all about fluff and happiness.  I want to learn and grow and become better.

• My flaws as the president in the Relief Society organization were lengthy..  I could list them here, but then you'd feel bad for me and try to talk me out of what I already know to be true.  And I don't need pity or sympathy...  I know my strengths, (that's never been a problem for me.) But to sum things up, I realize I don't work as well with others as I once thought I had.  I am very blunt and I hurt feelings when i never intended to.  I am quick to speak.  I don't ponder my thoughts and let them marinate.  I don't prepare, especially when it comes to spiritual things.  There were so many times I could have benefited from praying about a situation, but I chose to act instead because I am a doer and I like to do things quickly.  I realize now this is a huge weakness of mine, and I had always thought it was a strength.  Another thing I realized as I went through this process is that in every instance, my weaknesses are the strengths of the new Relief Society Pres.  I told her this as we met and went over details of the calling.  She is wise and thoughtful and prayerful and strong in every area that I am not, which is amazing. Our bishopric and ward will benefit because of these gifts she possesses.  Over the pulpit, I tried to relay this message, but it didn't come out right.  Pretty sure I said, "she's super righteous and I'm not."  Which is true but might have not sounded appropriate.  oh well.  Did I mention I am 8 months pregnant?

• THE highlight of my service came during tragedies, and I hope that doesn't come across the wrong way, but they were the spiritual highlights for me.  It was an absolute PRIVILEGE to be in the homes of women when they were struggling.  I witnessed humility and gratitude and meekness in the midst of trials and I am overwhelmed by the strength and testimony of these amazing women.  I will keep the precious details of those circumstances with me always.  I am in awe of those who dealt with death, sickness, divorce, abuse, parenting teenagers, old age, surgeries, depression (the list can go on) like these amazing women.  I am less quick to judge because of them. What dear friends and examples they have become to me.

• I realized how dependent we become on others while serving.  I needed a team of women in so many different instances.  Sometimes we don't want to volunteer (and shouldn't because it comes between choosing between our children and spouses.) but it's SO important to offer services when you feel you can.  Significant events can happen with very little effort when everyone offers a small part.  I was in charge of planning three (heartbreaking) funerals and they each turned out beautiful, in their own way.  Help came from EVERYWHERE and it was effortless for all those who contributed just a little bit.  Burdens can be so overwhelming if you are carrying them on your own.  But support IS available if you ask for it.  It always was for me and I noticed how heartbreaking experiences became easier to bear (especially for those going through excruciating pain) when they were surrounded by a support system.  

I know there are hard times ahead for me.  I don't know if I am prepared for them, but I know that I am better prepared after "sacrificing" in this calling.  Yes, I am also thrilled it's over, but I am so grateful for what it has taught me.  I am better and my family has been blessed because of it.

to move or not to move

We want to move.  At least, we want to move out of our house.  We can't seem to agree on where we want to move to...  and this is is a minor problem.

Aaron wants to move to Utah.  Down the street from my siblings and parents. He thinks the kids should live by their cousins.  Don't get me wrong, the idea sounds amazing, but I don't want to.  I think our kids are close with their cousins.  We see them often (enough) and their relationships are strong and good.  And I love having visitors-- when family comes to stay at your house for days at a time, you are able to create memories and experiences that don't happen when you live next door.  (obviously I realize there are a lot more things you can do together when you live in the same city.)  But it's winter for like 6 months of the year there... and I hate cold places.  I like snow for like two days, while visiting.  I prefer palm trees and swimming pools and pina coladas.

I want to move to a farm.  Or to Georgia.  Preferably a farm in Georgia, actually.  I really want some LAND and we can't get it here in Vegas... or in Utah, really.  I don't want to live in a neighborhood if we can help it.  And I feel like we can help it.  I want to live in a small house with a lot of space to run and be free.  Georgia is beautiful.  Houses and acres of land are affordable.  AND we have family there.  Not a lot of family, but some.  And that's more than we have in Vegas.

Can we make friends that become like family?  Yes, we can and we have.  But the older our kids get, the more we realize that it's not the same, no matter how hard we try.  I have a huge support system of women I love and will miss if we move away.  But my husband doesn't have that.  And even though my kids have darling, wonderful friends, they aren't cousins.

Above all, I want to spend more time together as a family.  I don't care if we have to take a huge paycut, or if I need to start working a graveyard shift, but I want Aaron home more.  But I know this puts a ton of pressure on my husband who not only wants to provide for us, but has to pay back loans from school.  I hate that we have debt and I really don't want my kids to follow down the same (educational) path we did.  We went to college without a real plan and now we're paying for it.  I really would LOVE to start some kind of small family business so we can WORK together and teach them not just about making money, but how to invest, save, and plan out their educational goals before they go to college.

These are the thoughts going through my mind at 4 am.  I wish I could sleep, but it's impossible these days.