2 year old FOR SALE

After all this talk about getting rid of stuff, I thought I would do a little INTERNET SALE--
And you better act fast, because this is the deal of the century.

►This two year old knows how to get into anything! He can make a mess faster than you can say, "Merry Maids, come rescue me!"

►He is excellent at spraying carpet cleaner on much more than just the carpet.. for instance, he can spray it into the smallest of places, like the little air holes for our ant farm. Now that is talent!

►He can take books off shelves that are WAY taller than him. ?

►He knows how to slide quarters in the air conditioner/heater vents in your car.

►He can get in and out of the fridge and pantry all by himself! He makes disgusting interesting creations with mustard, chocolate syrup, and worcestershire's sauce. It's almost the same as hiring your own private chef!

►He's an excellent artist and LOVES to paint pictures... on paper, walls, carpet, furniture, toilets. He's very versatile and really creative!

►He eats rocks and shovels dirt into his mouth.

►He knows how to get out of his own crib/bed. When you tell him that it's time to go to sleep he screams, "Zacky don't YIKE close my eyes!"

►He refers to himself in third person.

►He shatters things that you didn't know had the physical capacity to shatter.

►He can spread an entire box of cereal EVENLY over the kitchen floor.. just so every tile is covered.

►He is pretty much HOUDINI when it comes to getting out of his car seat. You can try tightening his buckle until you think his head might pop off.. but he will find a way to get out of it! Seriously.. as soon as you get on the road, he is hiding in the trunk! Voila! How did he do that?

►He comes with a lifetime supply of cheetos- because that's pretty much all he eats (if you don't count rocks and dirt.)

►He pulls the best pouty faces and makes it pretty much IMPOSSIBLE for you to say "NO."

►His albino-ness is a magnet for attention in public (especially with people of darker skin.. they point and gawk and his whiteness.) It's really fun!

►He knows all the names of the Transformers and will let you know (10 times) while driving past a semi-truck that he's just seen Optimus Prime.

►He whines so much that you're never exactly sure what he wants.

►He puts himself in time out. (Bonus!)

►He is an expert at flooding the bathroom.

►He is 1/2 way potty trained.

►He pretends he's a puppy and licks all the way up your leg when you're busy cooking dinner. It's like having a toddler AND dog at the same time!



■ASKING PRICE: $20 bucks OBO (or best offer) That's less that $1 a pound!
Any major credit card is accepted. We will even consider payment plans or trades. (We are in need of a new set of couches!)

■WILLING TO THROW IN: a box of diapers (only half full) AND a raggedy football blanket (in used condition.)

■INTERNET DEAL: Buy-one-get-one-free! I have other boys (ages 5 and 7) If you act today, I will throw in another child absolutely FREE. Unbelievable, I know.

BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK: All sales are final. There are NO refunds or exchanges, even with a receipt. Any damages caused by this child will be the purchaser's responsibility after the transaction is complete.

WFMW- Getting Rid of Clutter!

I am the QUEEN of CLUTTER. And even though it's nice being royalty of something, I am ready to retire and give my crown to someone else. I am constantly trying to break bad clutter habits and replace them with good ones. Here are a few DECLUTTERING tips that work for me (especially on the days that I actually apply them to my life.)


1. Junk Mail- I have a small garbage can for junk mail. It is located in my garage just steps away from my door. Before I bring the junk mail into the house, I will go through it and discard what I don't want (which is most of it.) I know that after all the warnings about Identity Theft, I should be shredding these documents. But I would rather live in my pretend world where flowers are always in bloom and everybody is nice and honest and good. I sleep better at night believing that CraZies don't actually go through your garbage and tape your junk mail together...

2. Set a Timer- If you think I am talking about a timer for the KIDS to get motivated, you don't know me by now. I need it for MYSELF! Isn't it so much easier to clean up when you know it's only ten minutes? Small increments are always easier for me.. because if I set it for an hour, I just know I wouldn't stick to it.. But ten minutes can usually get me off the couch (or away from the computer) and after it rings, I usually feel so good that I want to go for another ten! *I believe I bought my timer at the dollar store 5 years ago, and it's still tickin!

3. Donate, donate, Donate!- Having a yard sale is a wonderful idea, however I usually end up hanging on to piles of things in hopes I will make a buck or two... when I never actually get around to having the sale. I strongly believe that donating clutter to a local charity is the BEST way to go! They come right to your door to pick it up! I have a storage bin in my laundry room of things that I want to donate. I continually add things to this bin and when it gets full, I call up a charity and have them come-N-GET-it! Not only are you dejunking, but you get a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart from giving it to someone who might actually need it!

~I always LOVE to get rid of things that make me cringe ~like the loud, annoying toy that seems to have Energizer batteries. Just make sure that when you are donating it, your child doesn't SEE that mommy is tossing their FAVORITE toy.

Any decluttering tips you'd like to share? Heaven knows I need them!

For other Works for Me Wednesday tips, click HERE.

ROAD TRIP= two four letter words

Our TOP TEN list of things you don't want to hear on a road trip...
(all of which were said yesterday)

10. "Are we there yet?" (said by Ben AND Luke within the first ten minutes of driving.)

9. "I wanna go to Zacky's house!" (said by Zacky himself)

8. "You better turn off that electric guitar, or I will throw it out the window." (said by both Mom and Dad.. ps. thanks for the presents Grandmother!)

7. "I just threw up." (said by Luke at halftime.)

6. "Hey! Your throw up has ALL the colors of the rainbow!" (said enthusiastically by Benny Boy.)

5. "I believe this is our fourth stop in four hours." (said by Dad)

4. "I CAN'T put my shoe on because Luke threw up inside it!" (said by Ben in response to "GET YOUR SHOES ON ALREADY!" said by Mom)

3. "I just threw Luke's carseat in the dumpster." (said by Dad who has cleaned out one to many carseats after long road trips.)

2. "Look at me. Look at ME! Mom! Look at this funny face! Mom! Mom.. Mom! Look at ME!" (said by Zack AT LEAST a 20 times..)


1. "A policeman is going to see you and take you to JAIL! Seriously! put on your seatbelts, FOR THE LOVE!" (said by a tired, flustered Mom.)

you know you're ADDICTED when....

It's 1:00 am and you're blogging instead of getting much needed beauty sleep.

Does anyone know of any medication to help blog ADDICTS? Maybe there is some kind of therapy [AA] recovery group.. where several women (and a few select men) could all sit around in a circle discussing their lame addiction to blogging. I went through major withdrawal symptoms this past weekend and I barely survived. I seriously need to sign up for therapy.

"Hi. My name is Janet. I have abnormally dependent cravings that revolve around blogging. I habitually sit at the computer for long hours when I should be doing something else.....anything else."



We had a long, crazy weekend. The van is unpacked but the suitcases are not. The dirty dishes that we left in the sink are finally running in the dishwasher. The kids were bathed and put to bed hours ago and here I am... exhausted, yet still awake. I have a million different emotions running around in my tired body, but I am not sure where to begin.

Let me start off by saying that we were bitterly disappointed to come home and find our couches STILL HERE. We were really hoping someone would come and take them off our hands and (maybe even do our dishes while we were gone) but whatever. At least I won't have to make dinner for tomorrow night- the lasagna doesn't have mold on it, yet.

I have spent the last hour reading your thoughtful and nice comments and I am literally speechless (when does THAT ever happen, huh?) Please know that I wasn't trying to be mean with my comment lectures, but I seriously get weirded out knowing that there are people in the vast internet world who know personal information about my life. These people come back and read regularly but never say hello.. It makes me want to shut down my blog completely because if they're too afraid to introduce themselves, then they've GOTTA BE crazy-psycho-murderers who want to kill me and kidnap my children. And this is EXACTLY why I am awake until the wee hours of the morning.

I enjoy blogging so much and have a strong testimony that it is the ONLY true way to live on the face of this earth. I find it fascinating that I can spend an hour [or so] on the computer and get SO much fulfillment out of it... I am documenting my life (and the lives of my kids) while keeping in touch with friends and family. I absolutely love it and don't want to stop (or go private) anytime soon.

Anyway, my feet are cold and the words on the screen are starting to get fuzzy. I must sleep. Thanks again for all the love. The comments warmed my heart. and congrats to those who came out of the closet. I hope we will be seeing more of you soon.

So long, farewell

Aaron's grandpa passed away this week and we are headed to Phoenix for the funeral services. Chester was 96 years old and lived a good life. He had an excellent memory and could tell you stories from his childhood as if it happened yesterday. He was a HARD worker and saved every penny. He used the same toothpick for a decade even though he had enough money in the bank to feed a small country. He was a great man (despite the he fact that he was a little racist. But we'll blame that on his generation. He was born almost 100 years ago!) We are very grateful to be living close enough so we can honor him this weekend. We won't be back in Vegas (or on the Internet) until Monday.

And now that I have announced our departure, you know that our house is empty--and all of those craziest (who never comment) will want to come rob us. As I mentioned before we don't have anything of value, so have at it. In fact, we'll even leave the key under the mat. If you get hungry, there is left over lasagna in the fridge that needs to be eaten.

Have a great weekend!!