I love myself, no matter how fat my kids think I am..

Tonight as I was tucking in the kids, Ben mentioned how heavy Simon is getting. (With his clothes off, he is starting to resemble a baby sumo wrestler..) Zack defensively announced that he still weighs more than Simon. Ben and Luke agreed. Luke said, "You probably weigh twice as much as him, Zack." Then they discussed that Luke probably weighs THREE times as much as Simon and Ben probably FOUR times as much. (I would agree with all of these statements. As a mother, I was proud of their estimations.) After a minute of silence, Ben pointed at me and said, "Mom probably weighs ONE HUNDRED times as much as Simon." Luke and Zack nodded.

I will admit that I am a bit chubby. I know my jeans are tight, people. But my kids think I weigh somewhere around ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED pounds. That's the last thing I wanted to hear at the end of a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

But because it's February, I am going to love myself anyway.

I heart Luke

Luke turns SEVEN tomorrow. I feel like I wrote this letter to him a few days ago. Has another year already gone by? It been a great year with Luke. He is still my lover-boy and wants to snuggle in my bed with my Snuggie every night. It started as a joke and now has become a nightly ritual that we both look forward to. He wants his own kid Snuggie for his birthday-- which he will open tomorrow because he's so stinkin' cute... (I give all cute kids anything they want.)

Seven years ago today, I was in labor. I was having mild contractions during church and decided to go home early and relax. I was hoping to have a baby on Groundhog's Day.. that would have given me two holiday babies. (and you know how much I love holidays!!) He came on Feb 3 at 2:21 am. Two hours shy of being our own little groundhog. Luke does things in his own way and on his own time... he didn't want to be anybody's groundhog.

His missing teeth are growing in. I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that he was old enough for them to fall out. He is becoming a little man before my eyes! He is a smart, happy, sweet, funny, charming, sensitive, content and mature little seven year old.

Luke stats:
Age: 7
Height: 54 inches
Weight: 45 lbs

Favorites food: homemade breadsticks
Favorite thing to do at home: play board games
Favorite toy: Transformers (especially his new Optimus Prime)
Favorite movie: Transformers 2
Favorite tv show: Star Wars the Clone Wars cartoon
Favorite book: Treasure Island (the book we're currently reading..)
Favorite animal: a Tiger
Favorite superhero: Iron Man
What he wants to be when he grows up: own an art museum
(That's news to mom.)
Favorite drink: Fanta orange
(I don't think he really loves Fanta.. When I asked the question, he shrugged his shoulders and then said something so we could go on to the next question. That is SO Luke!)
Favorite color: Orange and White
Favorite candy: Starbursts
as long as he's not forced to open it with his mouth
Afraid of: my family dying :(
Favorite past-time: jumping on the trampoline

I heart love month

Happy February! 2010 came in like a torpedo. I hope it slows down soon. I thought that a November due date would be awesome. Experience has taught me that having a baby just before the Holidays is the worst time to lay low and recover. Nothing about these past 12 weeks has been easy or relaxing. I have been treading water for 3 months and I am finally starting to get my feet on the ground. Somewhere in the middle of last week, I started to feel like myself. Of course, I am not even close to feeling normal, but I think the cloud is starting to lift. Every once in a while, I get a clear thought in my head. And that has given me a lot of hope.

Someone emailed me last week wanting to know how I am able to write on my blog so often. I didn't answer her because I wanted to think about the question for a while. As I look back at the number of posts since Simon was born, I am am rather shocked myself.. and this blog doesn't include everything I've written. It made me realize how much I really do love the blogging world. This website and everything it contains is a blessing in my life.

Since I started writing, some three odd years ago, I've had a TON of ups and downs.. I've changed the address twice. I lectured about comments, turned them off and then back on again. I went private and toyed with the idea of quitting all together. It's been a rollercoaster of a ride. But that's my personality and the blog (authentic to me) reflects it perfectly. After a bit of a struggle, I have learned how to balance the time I spend on the computer with my duties at home. I believe I have found a healthy groove and it's become a wonderful outlet for me. The daily traffic has been the highest to date. (Except for the week that those crazy knitters ripped me apart :) And even though I've made a few enemies along the way, I am really comfortable with the way things are. I have realized that honesty works. It's the easiest way to relate not only to my dear friends, but to complete strangers as well.

I believe the #1 reason why I have written so much in the past 3 months is because I have been lonely. It seems odd to come to that conclusion because I have a awesome kids who keep me company all day. My husband is good to me. I have intuitive friends and a fantastic church group. And for crying out loud-- I have nine siblings! How could I possibly be lonely? I don't know, but I have been. Writing (as well as prayer) has been my outlet. It has helped me tremendously. There's something incredibly therapeutic about getting the words out. I don't even know if the words make sense to others, but a platform to express myself, as I am, has been a huge blessing in my life. For this I am grateful.

The month of February is dedicated to the things I love. Day one is MY BLOG and all of those who read it... you! I love you. I know that some of you don't love me back, and that's okay. I am so grateful for the convenient and personal connection that we have. It has been a healing tool for me during my emotional chaos. Thank you for your many kind comments and emails. Thank you for not agreeing with me all the time. Thank you for riding the rollercoaster with me. I hope you come back for another three years. Here's to the Big Man who created the world of blogs and to all of us who made him a bazillionaire.

miss america and other news...

Last night I had all five of my men watching the Miss America pageant. We didn't intend to watch it as a family-- but once it started we just couldn't turn it off. Ben and Luke couldn't understand why it was a competition and when I explained that the prettiest girl won they thought I was kidding. Looking at it through their eyes, it does seem rather foolish. During the opening number (when all the contestants introduce themselves) Ben saw one of the girls on the screen and said, "Whoa. That girl should go home." Apparently Ben doesn't like blonds who cake on makeup.

I was hoping that someone would announce that most Americans don't have (or know how to use) maps or at least fall down on stage-- but unfortunately it wasn't as entertaining as we wanted it to be. We fast forwarded the "Lifestyle and Fitness" (aka swimsuit) competition but we enjoyed watching the girls in their evening gowns. Miss Virgina came out in a stunning yellow dress. Luke thought she looked like a brown banana. The judges didn't think so.... because she went home with the crown.


It was rough making it to church at 9:00 AM. I really miss our 1:00 PM routine... During Sacrament meeting, I put Simon over my shoulder to burp him and he spit up ALL over my outfit and hair. Why do I even bother getting ready for anything? It was such a crazy thing because Simon has spit up two times in his life... too bad one had to happen in church-- and all over me.

During the Sacrament, Zack couldn't figure out WHO was saying the prayers for the bread and water. He kept looking around and saying, "Who is talking, mom? Whose voice is that?" I pointed to our young Priesthood holders up at the front. Zack seemed relieved and said, "Oh. For a second, I thought it was Jesus talking." That kid definitely knows how to get a laugh.

Zack's interview

Since it began, no one in this house has been interested in my blog. I was okay with that. I figured there would come a time when my kids would appreciate the stories of their past. I am proud to announce that the time has already come. Ben and Luke have recently been reading through my archives.. and they giggle at almost everything they read. A few days ago they came across this interview. They loved it and Zack felt bad he didn't get to participate. I told him when I wrote it, he was too little to talk. He's not so little anymore... here are his answers.

What is something Dad always says to you?
Do you want to ride on my back?

What is something Mom always says to you?
Zack, I love you.

What makes Dad happy?
Hugging him.

What makes Mommy happy?
kissing and hugging dad.

What makes Dad sad?
kicking him in the wiener

What makes Mom sad?
kicking her in the face

How does Dad make you laugh?
When I ride on his back upstairs and he throws me on his bed.

How does Mom make you laugh?
When you tickle me on my belly.

How old is your dad?
19

How old is your mom?
16

How tall is your dad?
Taller than our new soft rug

How tall is your mom?
Same tall as dad, but shorter

What is daddy's favorite thing to do?
Play tennis

What is mom’s favorite thing to do?
Play games with us

What does your dad do when you're not around?
Kiss mom

What does your mom do when you're not around?
take a bath with candles

What is your dad really good at?
tennis

What is your mom really good at?
making food

What is your dad not very good at?
soccer

What is your mom not very good at?
falling off a cliff

What does your dad do for his job?
he wears a tie.

What does your mom do for her job?
she takes care of me.

What is your dad's favorite food?
Eggs

What is your mom’s favorite food?
Broccoli

If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
a power ranger

If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Dora

How are you and your dad the same?
we're both crazy and funny

How are you and your mom the same?
we're on the blue eyed team

How are you and your dad different?
he's not small like me.

How are you and your mom different?
I have short hair and you have long hair.

If Dad was an animal what would he be?
Giraffe

If Mom was an animal what would she be?
a lizard... ?