as of recent

Ben is still my biggest helper. He is my right hand, my babysitter, my go-to guy. Simon is glued to his hip and he likes it that way. Yesterday I asked him to unload the dishwasher. We both knew it was Zack's turn but neither of us wanted to wake Zack up and ask him to do it. Ben said that we should flip a coin for it and I agreed. Ben said, "If it's heads, you lose. If it's tails, I win." I didn't realize I was duped until after I unloaded the silverware (which is the worst part anyway.)

We are reading The Cricket in Times Square this week. I thought I had read this book as a child, but I was wrong. We've all really enjoyed it. During a particular chapter a few days ago, Ben said, "Mom, when you read Tucker the mouse, his voice sounds like you." I thought that was cute because I am reading aloud ALL the characters voices (they should all sound like me) but I got what he was trying to say. Tucker is an enthusiastic, spastic character and I relate to him and love his energy. I will take it as a compliment and leave it at that. No need to ask why he thinks I am a spaz.

Luke is still my sweetheart. At least ten times a day he asks me, "Mom, is there anything I can do for you?" I just love him and never want him to grow up. He often brings me big glasses of ice water and every time he does, I ask him if dad put him up to it (even when dad isn't home.) Luke loves to say that he thought of it himself and I love the way he smiles when he says he thought of it himself. What will I ever do without my own personal water boy?

Luke and I walked into a gas station together the other day. I got a drink, Luke picked out a bag of peachy rings to share with his brothers. When we approached the register, the man behind the counter pulled out a toy that someone had left in the store weeks earlier. He asked Luke if he knew what it was. Luke responded, "Yes. That's Ratchet." The guy was impressed that Luke not only knew it was a Transformer but he knew which Transformer it was. (The dude has no idea who he's messing with.) He responded, "Does he transform into a car or a truck?" Luke stared back and said, "Neither. He's an ambulance." This got a chuckle from the guy and he asked, "Do you think you could show me?" Luke took the toy and worked his magic. Soon there was a crowd forming around him (which really means, there were a bunch of people behind us waiting to pay for their stuff...) When Luke was finished, the nice checker told him he better keep the toy after taking on such a challenge-- and succeeding. Luke showed his brothers his new toy when he got home. The first thing Ben said when he saw it was, "Oh man, he didn't come with his gun!" to which Luke responded, "That's what I thought!" And then we had a lesson about how we should be grateful for things that are FREE... those unappreciative little turds...

Zack is still our source of entertainment.This kid is a walking party. Wherever he goes, fun is to be had by all. A few days (must be weeks because I had a camera) ago, Zack taped a pair of goo-goo eyes to his forehead and said he was under "Mind Control" which means that someone would tell him to do something and he HAD to do it, no matter what. His older brothers were loving this game and made him do all kinds of tricks and favors. But as soon as I tried to take advantage of this unusual opportunity (getting Zack to do something I ask) he said it was broken. He ain't no dummy.

A few days after the above picture was taken, Ben and Luke had kicked Zack out of their room because he wasn't playing by the rules. Zack was really upset and started crying. I pulled him aside and told him that he can't act a certain way if he wanted to be friends with his brothers. Zack looked at me with his teary eyes and said, "It's just that... I am being controlled by Satan!" I tried not to laugh while telling him that if he wanted to be a part of our family and have fun with us, then he couldn't listen to the devil... and that there should be an angel on his other shoulder whispering the right way to behave.

Simon is a monstrous baby. The other day I went to get him after a nap and I peek into his crib and shrieked! A mammoth-child came in and ATE my newborn. He swallowed him in one gulp! I mourn for my little baby... but I will keep the mammoth if it's the only other option. And he's a cute little fuzzy monster. He eats EVERYTHING in sight. He hits his bottle when it's not coming out fast enough and he literally throws a tantrum when his food is all gone. If he sees someone else eating, he starts panting. I just can't give him what he needs. I don't have enough food in my cupboards. Last night, Aaron had a late night and I was out of rice cereal & baby food. Simon downed a banana for an appetizer and started to growl. Then I started to panic. He had a bowl of instant oatmeal and then 8 ounces of formula. He still nurses in the morning, and I am amazed that he will. I believe he will eat anything, any time, any place. But I am starting to realize that my lack of milk supply wasn't really as bad as I thought. Simon is just a monster and nothing is ever enough! (a video is being uploaded of Super Sy pounding his high chair tray for more food.. check out the home videos blog in a bit.)

Simon absolutely loves his brothers. He jumps on the trampoline and sits around the computer watching YouTube videos with them like he was born that way. I love seeing my four boys "hanging out" together. Many times I will catch them all "playing" with toys... which means that Simon is in the middle of the group, sucking on whatever toy they've decided to let him drench that day. When he is DONE playing with his brothers, he looks at me and (I swear) I see him mouth the words "Rescue me! Please!" There's nothing like loving a baby that loves you back. Simon thinks I am the most wonderful person on the planet. Until Big Daddy walks in the room. He is a happy little guy. He smiles all day, but he doesn't hand out laughs freely. He makes you work for them. Luke was/is the same. When he finally dishes out a giggle, you feel like you've won a million bucks.

Aaron is busy and stable and handsome. He isn't around often, but when he's home-- he's home. I have always admired him for the balance he maintains in his life. But the past few months, he's stepped it up a notch. He's a super star. I don't know how he manages it ALL, but he does and magnificently. He's the most CHILL person I've ever met. He doesn't stress-- he doesn't fret-- he's always in a good mood. He focuses the task at hand and then moves on to the next. It's really incredible to watch. Recently, when I see him wearing one of his new suits (yes, he finally went shopping) I am reminded that we're grown-ups now. He's no longer that 20 year old guy that I dated back in college. He's a man.. with gray hair and wrinkles and a new suit. When did this happen? Probably on the same afternoon a mammoth-child swallowed my baby.

As busy as my husband is, he always makes time for me. He slaved on Mother's Day and I still feel guilty about it. He and the boys made a rhyming treasure hunt and sent me all over the house looking for my presents. What I found didn't disappoint. Almost everything was homemade and I will treasure those notes for always. I know it can't be easy being married to me. But someone's gotta do it. So glad it's Aaron.

Do I have to give an update on myself? I don't have to do anything. I write about ME, me, ME everyday on this blog. I thought I was doing better for a minute. There was a week in April when I thought I was feeling better. But I am not cured yet. I am really good on the outside.. I love to be with people. I love doing something productive. But there are many days when I am not outside or with people or doing anything productive.

I often wonder when I things will turn back to normal. I have to remind myself that I am in the process of creating a new normal. I am not the same girl I used to be. That is depressing and also very empowering. I am a stronger person than I was a few months ago. I know more about myself and what I want out of life. I am not as fun or as spontaneous as I used to be. I am more realistic. I know my limits and I am trying my best not to add more to my plate. And if anything is for sure, I know that I am learning a lot through this process. I also know that I am very blessed.

On to shallow things, like television. My friend Jane let me borrow her super nice treadmill. I will need it to train for this blasted 1/2 marathon coming up.. Of course, being outside is the best option but it's gonna get hot. And soon. Ever since our media fast, I have banned all TV. Everything except Survivor.. and an occasional Modern Family. But the treadmill is now in front of a TV just waiting to be used, but I don't have anything to watch. I was thinking-- just thinking-- about starting a new TV series that I've never seen before. Lost? Glee? 24? Twin Peaks? 90210? any suggestions? Anyone have a series sitting around that they want to let me borrow? I guess I could always watch the Twilight movies....

breaking wind and other stories

We've been having lots of fun at our house, but blogging without any pictures isn't very motivating. I need to develop the pictures from one of our disposable cameras soon-- but until then you are going to have to use your imaginations. A couple of funny things have happened recently.

Zack is as crazy as ever. He's got a few one-liners that have to be written down. It's been windy here and Zack hates the wind. I believe scout day camp (one of the windiest days ever!) scarred him for life. While out on a bike ride the other day, he started SCREAMING and couldn't ride his bike back home. I was not about to carry him or his bike, so I gave him a pep talk. I told him that he was a super hero and he had special powers against the wind. He was stronger than it and every time it came to blow him away, he could ride through it. I could see his shoulders puffing up with pride as I talked to him about how powerful he was. Eventually he was peddling fast and he started singing a song that went like this, "I am breaking wind.. it, it, it is fun." (it's much better with his made-up tune.) When he got home, he sang it for the rest of the family. Ben and Luke thought it was hilarious because "breaking wind" has another meaning... Boys love to talk about farts! Anyway the breaking-wind song is catchy and now all of us are singing it.

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Yesterday, Zack was anxious to play video games. As soon as his toys were cleaned up, he ran over to the video game cabinet and before he opened it he announced, "HEY GUYS! THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS!" I love his enthusiasm for everything. I honestly don't know where he comes up with his material. He had to have heard that from somewhere, but when I asked him where he said, "Sometimes my brains just think of things!"

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On Saturday afternoon the boys were busy playing outside with their friends. Our neighbors are Hawaiian and have three boys as well... they are just about the cutest kids on the block. All six boys were out playing basketball, riding bikes, drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, etc. I came inside to put the baby down for a nap. Eventually my kids came inside, closed the garage and changed into their swimsuits to head out to the trampoline. A while later (I can't say how much longer, but I am making myself feel better by assuming it was about ten minutes) I went out into the garage to throw away some garbage. I turned on the light and low and behold! A little boy is playing in our dark garage! He is about 3-ish and wasn't crying or screaming for help. Instead he was turning around on a little sit and spin toy we have. I asked him if he was okay and he nodded his head. Then I opened the garage and without a word, he scurried on home. I am so grateful I went out there sooner rather than later. And I cannot believe he wasn't traumatized to be trapped in the neighbors dark garage. The sit and spin toy must be mighty entertaining!

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Yesterday I took my kids bowling at Red Rock Casino. It's only $1 a game on Mondays (they are canceling this awesome deal at the end of the month-- so we're going as often as we can.) We were lucky enough to bowl in a lane next to the sweetest elderly woman and her grown son. Dolly (whose real names is Diane, but she goes by Dolly when she's bowling) chatted my ear off about HER four sons... no daughters. She was so sweet and enthusiastic about my young boys and laughed every time they gave each other a high-five. She dotted over Simon and told me that boys are much better to have than girls.. (I would like to experience both for myself before I form my opinion :) I enjoyed talking with her and complimented her on her game. The lady knows how to bowl! She showed me her new bowling shoes and tried to introduce me to her single 40 year old son. I kept mentioning how much I loved my husband who was working hard. While we were busy talking, Luke was getting a little crazy throwing the ball down the lane and it got stuck in one of the gutters. This happened earlier with Zack's ball and a worker came to rescue us. So we waited... and waited, but a worker never came. I was about to put Simon in his stroller and go fetch it myself, when Dolly insisted on getting it. I should have put my foot down and never allowed her to do it, but she scurried out there to retrieve the ball.. It all happened in slow motion. I KNEW she was going to fall-- and I wanted to warn her, but for some reason, the words didn't come out. I watched her 68 year old, heavy-set body run out on the lane and her new shoes literally came out from under her and went over her head. It was SUCH a hard fall. I felt terrible. Inside I was crying, but outside I was laughing. I used Simon to guard my giggles... WHY can't I be an adult and NOT LAUGH when something terrible like this happens??? Her son ran out to help her and almost lost his footing while scooping her up. (those lanes are mighty slippery-- beware!) By the time Dolly came back, I had wiped the smile off my face and gave her a hug. I told her how bad I felt and she explained that she falls all the time-- she even fell the day before at PetSmart. That didn't make me feel any better. For the next hour, Dolly bowled and rubbed her sore behind. Each time she rubbed it, I giggled. I couldn't get the terrible picture out of my head... It was like a bad clip on America's Funniest Home Videos that they keep playing over and over and every time you see it, it gets funnier. Honestly, I was very relieved when it was time to go so I could laugh in private. I gave her another hug, told her I hope her youngest gets married soon (she's pretty anxious to get him out of the house...) and thanked her again for sacrificing herself to save my son's ball. She rubbed her bum and said she was okay. I am sure she was lying. And I guarantee her bum is feeling worse today.. poor, sweet Dolly.

my mom's mother day present

click on it for a better view

This was supposed to be done for my parents' anniversary, but didn't get finished until last week. They have 30 grandchildren-- the oldest is 12 years old. Well, actually another one was born before this project was finished and he didn't make the cut. Sorry Samuel! Two more granddaughters will be here before the summer is over... making 33.

I think my favorite picture is "seductive" although it's hard to chose. I love each and every one of these kids..

dang desposible camera

This dang kodak doesn't have a video option. We really needed it tonight. We had a mexican murder mystery party at our place and a certain couple left several helium balloons behind. I cannot express to you how HILARIOUS it is to hear Zack sing the ABC's with a chipmunk voice. Eventually he had to stop singing because he was laughing too hard (along with the rest of us.) His helium laugh was music to my ears. Oh man, that was funny. I doubt the second time around will be as genuine. But when our camera comes back, we will have to try it again.

Thanks Liz and Matt for the priceless gift you left. And do you want to hear something funny? When Aaron took out the garbage tonight, the bag was rattling like crazy. Come to find out, little Topher thought the trash can was a basketball hoop for all the "baby toys" we had out for him. We fished out 6 balls from the bottom of the garbage. No wonder he was so obsessed with it... he wanted his toys back!

I wish I had pictures to show for the murder mystery. Oh well. The costumes were good, but not as good as the food. I love Cinco de Mayo week.

It's that time of year again....

The husband and kids came home around lunch time. Aaron headed out to play tennis in this gorgeous weather and the kids instead of showering off their campfire smell, decided to spray it off with the slip and slide on the trampoline.

This is a picture taken from two years ago. I snapped one with my kodak disposable camera (gotta have a back-up plan when you're camera is in the shop.) I will just have to replace it later. Who would have guess that the slip and slide would get SO MUCH use in our backyard of rocks? Seriously, it rocks.

I was scrubbing my kitchen sink, listening to a bit of James Taylor and a bit of giggling from the backyard and I thought to myself that this is the best way to spend the day before mothers day. I feel so lucky to have a house full of boys. And not just any boys-- I am lucky to have mine.

My girls night last night was fabulous also. If I had a working camera, I would upload pictures of Sam, Keyonna and I painting our toenails and sleeping together on the pull-out bed. (I eventually moved into my own.) We ordered pizza, watched While You Were Sleeping and popped popcorn. I love having on-call daughters who are available whenever I need them. I do not love having a broken camera. But sometimes you've gotta take the good with the bad.

Here's hoping all you wonderful mothers have a wonderful day tomorrow! Last Mother's Day I announced I was pregnant. The Mother's Day before that, I was recovering from my second miscarriage, trying to accept the fact that it may not work for me again. I also wrote about my own mother and how much I love her. Believe it or not, I still feel the same today :) I am truly a lucky girl to have been raised by such a mother. And I am so grateful for the mom my husband has. This Mother's Day I am feeling grateful for the generations of women who sacrificed their time, talents and desires to allow me to live the kind of life I have today. Our circle of influence is so much bigger than we realize.