have you ever....

Have you ever woken up to the sound of a child throwing up in his bed?

I have. and I was very grateful he fell asleep before he ate Oreos.

Have you ever spent the day washing this child's bedding only to have him throw up on it again just before bedtime?

I certainly have. Isn't it great that boys think sleeping on the floor is an adventure?

Have you ever washed an entire deck of cards with a load of laundry?

I learned today that the washer destroys playing cards more efficiently than a paper shredder.

Have you ever been scolded by a stranger about your rotten children?

I have!

We spent the afternoon at our favorite duck pond. It was perfect weather and the six of us were enjoying ourselves when a wrinkly, crabby lady came marching over to tell us that we shouldn't feed the ducks bread. We assumed she had a degree in Duckology as she gave us a lengthy lecture about how bread is empty calories for them. It won't hurt them, but there was no nutritional value in what our kids were feeding them. She brought out a special kind of duck-feed and scooped handfuls of it while she talked but she wouldn't share her feed with the boys. She insisted they stopped throwing their bread because the ducks preferred to eat it over her healthy/expensive stuff. Ben and Luke listened and ran off to collect pinecones. But Zack - who marches to the beat of his own drum and doesn't understand words like "empty calories" - continued to throw bread into the pond. This infuriated the Duck-Whisperer and she let Aaron and I know that our boys were the most terribly behaved kids she'd ever seen. "They don't listen! They don't respect! Why don't children have any manners?" I told her that some elderly women don't have manners either. My husband elbowed me as she stormed off, murmuring all the way to her car. I was glad she was gone before my boys started pegging the ducks with pinecones.

And THAT was our weekend in a nutshell.