I heart love month

Happy February! 2010 came in like a torpedo. I hope it slows down soon. I thought that a November due date would be awesome. Experience has taught me that having a baby just before the Holidays is the worst time to lay low and recover. Nothing about these past 12 weeks has been easy or relaxing. I have been treading water for 3 months and I am finally starting to get my feet on the ground. Somewhere in the middle of last week, I started to feel like myself. Of course, I am not even close to feeling normal, but I think the cloud is starting to lift. Every once in a while, I get a clear thought in my head. And that has given me a lot of hope.

Someone emailed me last week wanting to know how I am able to write on my blog so often. I didn't answer her because I wanted to think about the question for a while. As I look back at the number of posts since Simon was born, I am am rather shocked myself.. and this blog doesn't include everything I've written. It made me realize how much I really do love the blogging world. This website and everything it contains is a blessing in my life.

Since I started writing, some three odd years ago, I've had a TON of ups and downs.. I've changed the address twice. I lectured about comments, turned them off and then back on again. I went private and toyed with the idea of quitting all together. It's been a rollercoaster of a ride. But that's my personality and the blog (authentic to me) reflects it perfectly. After a bit of a struggle, I have learned how to balance the time I spend on the computer with my duties at home. I believe I have found a healthy groove and it's become a wonderful outlet for me. The daily traffic has been the highest to date. (Except for the week that those crazy knitters ripped me apart :) And even though I've made a few enemies along the way, I am really comfortable with the way things are. I have realized that honesty works. It's the easiest way to relate not only to my dear friends, but to complete strangers as well.

I believe the #1 reason why I have written so much in the past 3 months is because I have been lonely. It seems odd to come to that conclusion because I have a awesome kids who keep me company all day. My husband is good to me. I have intuitive friends and a fantastic church group. And for crying out loud-- I have nine siblings! How could I possibly be lonely? I don't know, but I have been. Writing (as well as prayer) has been my outlet. It has helped me tremendously. There's something incredibly therapeutic about getting the words out. I don't even know if the words make sense to others, but a platform to express myself, as I am, has been a huge blessing in my life. For this I am grateful.

The month of February is dedicated to the things I love. Day one is MY BLOG and all of those who read it... you! I love you. I know that some of you don't love me back, and that's okay. I am so grateful for the convenient and personal connection that we have. It has been a healing tool for me during my emotional chaos. Thank you for your many kind comments and emails. Thank you for not agreeing with me all the time. Thank you for riding the rollercoaster with me. I hope you come back for another three years. Here's to the Big Man who created the world of blogs and to all of us who made him a bazillionaire.