leaving the kids for a bit of romance.

Everywhere we went in Florida people would ask if we were on our honeymoon. It was a lot of fun to say, "NO! We've been married ten years and we have FOUR kids at home!" This seemed to strike up great conversation with other tourists and several people we sat next to on our flights. One man in particular literally dropped his chin when we told him we had four kids at home. He kept saying, "No way! You two are babies yourselves!" Then he congratulated us and said that he and his wife let their marriage fall apart when the kids came along. He shook his head as he said, "We were putting the kids first, always. But when our marriage fell apart, we realized that the kids were the ones who suffered the most." As parents we need to realize that by putting your spouse FIRST, you are setting the foundation for a solid family-- and this is always best for the kids. It may be hard for the kids to know they come second, but it's so good for them.

With that said-- it was really, really difficult leaving my baby behind. The older kids were fine (and I knew that) but Simon is still so little. I was devastated when our family vaca to Detroit/Chicago was canceled. I really wanted to get away, but I didn't want to leave the kids. Aaron and I have very different ideas of what is classified as a vacation. He thinks taking the kids anywhere (but especially a big city) is not relaxing or fun. I disagree, but I can see his point. When we ended up canceling, I decided to "give in" and go along with Aaron's plan. Driving to the Florida Keys in a convertible was all his idea. Of course, Simon could have flown free with us, but everything on the agenda in Florida wasn't exactly baby-friendly. Simon is the first baby I stopped nursing before 12 months AND my sister just so happened to be living with us. Knowing they would be in good hands (and considering the fact that Simon would still be able to sleep in his crib) I hopped on board. And I am SO glad I did.

We were supposed to fly out Thursday evening. Simon was particularly tired that night and went to bed early. I was upset because he fell asleep without allowing me to say goodbye properly! I wanted to rock him to sleep and cuddle him for a while, and was so sad when I left the house. I peeked in on him as we left for the airport and honestly I felt like sobbing. When we arrived at the airport and saw all the chaos, we booked flights for the following morning. I was absolutely thrilled to be going back home. I came back, scooped Simon up in my arms and cuddled with him all night. Leaving him early the next morning was a little easier after I filled up my baby canteen.

We were gone a total of four days. Simon was happy to be home with his brothers and didn't seem to miss me at all. Cindy was awesome with him and I knew he would be okay. But EVERY time I saw a baby in Florida, I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. Aaron would joke with me and block me from seeing cute babies in restaurants... He missed the kids too, but I think it's easier to say goodbye when you're not with them every minute of every day.

Before the trip started I told myself that I was going to make the entire weekend about Aaron-- and not be a baby about missing my baby. So, we played this game where we pretended we didn't have kids. We did call them at night and made sure everything was okay, but when it was just the two of us, we didn't mention the kids-- at ALL. This trip wasn't about them and we wanted to make the best of our time alone.. Sometimes we would say things like, "If we had kids, they would totally love this." Or "When we have kids, we should...." I knew it was a game, but it really did help me remember where to keep my focus. And by doing things that weren't kid-friendly, I felt better about leaving them behind.

I also made a conscious effort to doll-up this weekend. There were some days I showered, curled my hair and put on makeup TWICE.. and that is so not like me. I brought all the jewelry I owned, tried to show lots of cleavage (not easy to do with my wardrobe) and I know that Aaron knew that I was giving it my best shot. This trip was all about him and even though he knew I was aching for the kids, I was going to enjoy ALL our time together. Because these days, alone time is hard to come by.

As women and mothers I believe it's really difficult to put our husbands first. The kids are around us all day, tugging on our legs, asking for help and begging to be hugged. They NEED us and we know it. But the truth is, our husbands NEED us just as much, if not more. They may not be verbally asking for some attention, but they are begging for it. If we step back and realize that by putting our men first, we are actually doing the kids a HUGE favor, then it makes it easier. Say NO TO THE KIDS and YES TO YOUR MAN! This is my message for today (and one I need to remember more often.) Go buy and new piece of lingerie, put the kids to bed early and surprise your man tonight!