not this cute anymore!
*this post may be more appropriate for my private blog. But after giving a lesson to my children on the importance of treating our bodies with respect and love, I thought I would share with you too.
My home has been quiet and peaceful lately. So quiet that my thoughts are getting louder and deeper. I have been pondering several ideas recently and wanted to get it down on "paper" while it's fresh and new.
Some time ago, I watched nienie's Mormon messages video about her new life after the airplane crash. One of the most powerful thoughts from that message (at least for me anyway) is "I am Stephanie Nielson, and I am not my body." That line, I am not my body, has stuck with me over the last few months. What does it mean to me? It hasn't been a pressing thought, but one that has been in the back on my mind for some time.
Yesterday, as I was watching my little son, a light bulb turned on and I received an answer to this thought. My four boys and I were playing on the carpet for what seemed like the majority of the afternoon. Little Simon is so entertaining these days. He is standing for longer periods of time and is so proud of the big (and little) accomplishments he has each day. He is also learning actions to songs like "popcorn" and "the wheels on the bus". He gets so excited and swishes his arms back and forth when we sing about the wipers on the bus. We clap and giggle for him... which makes him clap and giggle more. It was a simple experience, but it felt so profound and important to me.
After I put Simon in his crib, down for the night, I felt a deep respect for him and the relationship he has with his body. He is trying to hard to coordinate his thoughts with the motions of his hands. It takes so much effort to balance those little feet and stand for 60 seconds. He is not his body, but he is working with his body to accomplish the things he desires. They are in partnership... they are working together beautifully.
After cleaning up the house a bit, I felt a reverence and respect for my baby and the things he teaches me daily. I retired to my quiet bedroom and pondered the phrase that has been in the back of my mind for some time. "I am not my body." My body is not me, but rather my partner, my friend. I am a person who feeds off of good relationships. What kind of relationship do I have with my body? Do I respect it? Honor it? Am I proud to call it mine?
I love myself, don't get me wrong. I am confident and happy and know I have a lot to offer the world. But when I look in the mirror, I don't love what I see. I feel frustrated. I am critical. I am mad it's taking me so long to lose the baby weight. But it's not even the extra weight that bothers me. I've been skinny several times before-- and my relationship with my body has always been a disappointing one. I can always find something I want to change, something that just isn't how I want it to be. I expect too much from it and it will never be able to please me.
And then I made a mental list of all the wonderful things my body has done for me. It's given me 31 years of happy memories. I've never had a broken bone or a major surgery. I don't get sick often. I am strong. I can jump and skip and run with my children. Oh YES! My children! This wonderful, fantastic, amazing body of mine has given me four beautiful children! It went through miscarriages and fought to carry and nurture my most prized possessions, my boys. It has been so good to me. And I am not respecting it or treating it as I should.
I thought of my body as an abused friend, one that has worked hard and been obedient since the beginning.... only to be scolded and ridiculed by it's owner. I wouldn't treat a stray dog in such a way. How could I be so cruel to something who has only been good to me? A friend would never nitpick or criticize constantly.. and if they did, they wouldn't be a friend for long. How can I ask for forgiveness? Will it accept my apology?
I laid very quiet and listened to my heart beating steadily in my chest. I breathed slowly and felt my lungs fill up with air. I wiggled my fingers and toes. I thought of my soft skin.. the skin that stays soft even though I don't care for it properly. I pictured my freckled face-- the one that never gets washed at night but remains acne-free. "I am not my body." My body is, in fact, a temple, a priceless gift. I best treat it right and love it for what it is. It is beautiful and good and strong.
And then I told my body THANK YOU. "Thank you for putting up with me all these years. Thank you for working so hard without any appreciation. Thank you for not only bearing my children, but giving me the energy to keep up with them. I will repay you by being more aware, by giving you the nourishment and exercise that is needed. I will try my best not to be critical and judgmental. I will love you for what you are."
What kind of relationship do you have with your body?
Are you treating it kindly and respectfully?
Do you recognize all that it does for you?
How can you show your appreciation for the body you have been given?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
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12 comments:
I really enjoyed this post Janet! Thank you :) I LOVE reading your thoughts. This post really hit me hard and definitely makes one think. You're amazing! Thank you for your example - I love that even though I haven't seen you in years and I really only remember times with you during Young Womens - that I can still learn from you and look up to you!
Inspiring. After sneaking a handful of chocolate chips every time I go into the kitchen, I'm grateful to take a break, while the little ones are sleeping and read this. Sometimes I love my self, and treat my body with love. ON days, when I'm not satisfied with my accomplishments, or my energy level, I usually treat my body with disappointment. I need to be better. I'm grateful for you thoughts. Our bodies are a gift...we should treat them that way.
Oh Janet, I just love you! This is a great post. Such great insights-- I love what you took from your interactions with Simon.
I have felt that same pressing desire to want to treat my body better for a long time now. I was really moved by the talk in conference where he talked about painting yourself into a corner through being disobedient. I thought "that is what I have done to my body by not following the word of wisdom." (Not that I'm smoking or drinking or anything-- just to clarify). :-) But when he talked about how it will require more work when we step out of that corner, but it is so worth it, I knew he was right, and that I have a lot of work ahead of me.
Anyway...thanks for this post. You are, as always, inspiring.
p.s. This is kind of random, but at my runner-girl dinner we were talking about getting a group together and doing a destination run (probably 2013), and possibly running the half marathon on the great wall of China:
http://www.great-wall-marathon.com/Default.aspx
I'm dead serious that I want to do it. I think it would be fun to get a group, and train and have an awesome goal to work toward-- would you be in?
Really great thoughts, and definitely something I need to spend extra time thinking about. Being the heaviest I've ever been in my life, I have not had good things to say about my body lately, and it really shouldn't be that way. My goal to start eating healthier and getting proper exercise shouldn't be so much about me feeling good about my appearance. I should already feel good about myself. It should be about giving back to my body. Thanks for giving me a topic I seriously need to consider.
Janet: You AMAZE me! I seriously wish I was your best friend and could learn from your every move! Although I am glad I can blogstalk and still learn from you. Even though we've hardly carried on a conversation, you are one of my favorite people. My husband even hears me talk about you and knows who you are. Can we please do lunch? Really now! I would LOVE it! I can bring some clothes for your cousin and her soon to be twin girls. Lets plan a time...soon!!!
I am glad for this post and the things you made me think about. We all could do better about being gentle with ourselves. I am trying to think of my body as a reminder of the life I've led. My curly hair from peopleI love. My squishy belly from the babies its carried. And I try and enjoy the things my body can do. This is definitely worth thinking about
Janet-
I have also pondered "I am not my body" since I read it on Nie Nie dialogues....I love your insights and am inspired to consciously be a better friend to my body. Thanks for sharing this message with us.
Stephanie A.
I love your openness. I think over the years I've accepted my body and said, "it is what it is" but, since having four babies, I haven't learned to LOVE it. It did help the other day when I saw a person who has weak legs from Cerebral Palsy climb stairs. The amount of effort expended was monumental and it made me think, "I'm going to complain less about having to climb the stairs carrying one or more of my children. At least I can quickly and pain free!". My "problems" seemed so little in comparison.
This is a powerful post Janet, thanks so much for sharing!
Great post. I think about this sort of thing every day because i've had a rather, uh, complicated relationship with my body for as long as I can remember. Lately I've been trying to cope with my demons by doing the following: I don't own a scale. I try to remember that the important thing is to be healthy and strong, not skinny and hot. I remind myself that my body has done amazing things like making people and sustaining their lives. I try to remember that my body is the temple that houses my spirit and is also a creation of Heavenly Father, which means I don't have the right to tear it down, literally or figuratively. Also, I know my daughter will look to me to learn how she should feel about her body, and I don't want her to learn that hers is anything but a gift.
I'm not exactly successful all the time, but I'm making progress. Thanks for your thoughts on this.
I am so touched by this. I cried while reading it, realizing how critical I am of my body. THANK YOU for sharing your thougths. You are changing the world, one perosn at a time!!!!!!!
that line came across my mind in sacrament meeting today and has stuck with me all day... i just watched the nie nie mormon message again tonight. thanks for the thoughts!
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