stupid girls and mean guys

I have been empowered by the Power of Moms weekend and you wouldn't believe what I've gotten accomplished in the last 48 hours.  More about the projects I've started later.

I had good reason to be grumpy tonight.  My baby is teething.  My husband was gone for 14 hours today... but I was just so productive that I felt happy despite everything.  The littlest three went to sleep easily and I stayed up reading Catching Fire to Luke and Ben until Aaron got home.  They missed our lunch date with Daddy today and wanted to see him, even though it was waaay past their bedtime.

Aaron and I stayed up talking about the funny things the kids said and did.  He told me about work and I talked to him about how I want to organize our house and our schedules.  Then we watched a video on his phone and we laughed and laughed and laughed.  I was there when he recorded it (after family home evening last night) but watching it in past-tense made me so happy...because we bottled up an every day thing that will now be a treasure we can now keep for always.  You probably won't love it like we do, but I will share it anyway.  Ignore Simon crying and pay close attention to Ben's awesome pelvic thrust.  We have no idea where this dance move came from, but he's totally innocent and it's especially entertaining when put with this particular song.  Oh man, these five kids are the coolest ever.

Because we knew it was going to be a day without Daddy, the three little piggies and I met Aaron for lunch. When Simon couldn't drink the shake from the straw, he used other measures to get it to his mouth.

 brain freeze.

After Simon attempted to clean his face, he pointed to a man sitting a few inches from our table and said really loudly, "That's a mean guy!"  We tried to pretend like we didn't hear him, which was a mistake because then he continued to point and say it over and over.  I decided to take a picture of Zack and the "mean guy" who was really just a dirty construction worker with a goatee..  Zack is such a cute big brother...

This little 2 year old had us at Hello.

My facebook posts today:

A woman at the store told Simon he was a cutie. Zack quickly responded, "Not really cause he makes a bunch of messes at home."

Zack: "I got the perfect bowl to throw up in. See, Mom? It matches my shirt and my socks." 

therapy

Hey!

The upside to posting my depressing "deep thoughts" at midnight is that other moms are able to open up about their hard times and issues.  I know we all have them.  The downside is that everyone is worried about me.  Thank you so much for your phone calls and emails.  I am really doing fine.  I am just a normal mom who struggles with the responsibilities and demanding schedules.  My #1 problem has been lack of sleep.  I really don't do well without a good night's sleep... so six months of zero sleep makes me a crazy person.

I am absolutely still going to therapy and I am absolutely looking forward to it.  If you haven't noticed by now, I  deal with my issues verbally.  Once I get them on the table, the recovery is quick.  Talking about things really helps me process my thoughts and allows me to move forward-- so I am sure counseling will be great.  I will tell you how it goes next week.

This past weekend, I was able to attend a weekend mom's retreat here in Las Vegas.  I was on the fence about going because it was $200 and I needed to get babysitters for the majority of the time.  Spending money and leaving my 5 kids with someone else aren't my favorite things to do.  But it worked out and I am so very glad I went.  I will need to sit down and write about ALL of my "ah-ha" moments.... the list is loooong.

One of the things I realized while I was there is that 99% of my frustration comes from putting the kids, husband, dinner, laundry, and everything else before my own needs. I've got to stop doing that.  I came away realizing that I am a really great mom :)  My stress level is very low and my patience level is through the roof, considering the fact that I have five kids and two of them are VERY demanding.  I came away feeling proud of myself and encouraged to do better and bigger things..

One of the things I will be talking about with my therapist is my desire to have more children.  The most discouraging feelings I've had over the past few months are over my desire for a big family.  I question if I am capable (physically, mentally, emotionally) and I question if I am sane.  After this past weekend, I came home to my awesome husband and my darling kids and I just feel so grateful to have them in my life.  Life is good.  Totally crazy, but good.  More on the Power of Moms retreat soon....

It's 8:30.  Family Home Evening was a success.  The house is clean.  Dinner was delish.  The kids are asleep.  Life is very good... today.

eat my shorts

the flip side

it's midnight and I just finished folding a mountain of clean laundry. It was my goal when I woke up this morning to fold the laundry and it didn't get done (it didn't even get started) so I stayed up after everyone went to sleep to do what I set out to do today. I just couldn't go to sleep knowing I had failed!

I feel depressed tonight. I realize I have five little children and I shouldn't be too hard on myself, but I feel like such a loser. I used to have such high aspirations and goals... what happened to that girl? I know she's inside somewhere, but lately I can't access her. She's trapped underneath a never ending pile of laundry.

One of my "bigger" goals this week was to make doctor and dentist appointments for our family. Insurance info changed with Aaron's new job (six months ago) so it took me a while to make sure our fave doctors are covered by this new plan. Anyway, as I was looking at the benefits, I saw that every individual in our family is illegible for therapy.. free counseling! The first eight sessions are free and then after that, they are $20 a session. I don't know why, but that made me really excited. I didn't hesitate for a second and signed myself up for a session with a family counselor. The secretary on the phone asked me if it was for stress, post-partum depression, anxiety, marriage or parenting issues. I laughed and said all of the above. I made an appointment for next week and I am really looking forward to sitting down with a total stranger (a professionally trained one) and share all of my problems. I hope I can lay on a couch and rest my head on a pillow while I talk.

I really need to get up in the mornings and exercise, but I just don't have a single ounce of extra energy. How can I get excited about folding laundry? I was absolutely THRILLED to buy a big tub of Gain laundry detergent at the store yesterday. Amazing that a box of soap can get me happy. It's been a while since I've splurged for Gain. Believe it or not, that amazingly fresh smell did make folding the endless pile of laundry a little better. But it also made me depressed because the things I felt excited about today were: #1 the brand of my laundry detergent and #2 seeing a therapist next week. I've got issues. Aaron is teasing me that I am having a midlife crisis. Isn't 32 a little young for that?

I watched American Idol while folding laundry. Kris Allen performed and he was terrible and so boring. I am sure he's a nice person, but seriously, how did he win? Against Adam Lambert of all people. I really love Adam. Idol hasn't been the same since he walked down those neon stairs in that white suit. No one will ever be able to perform like he did. I was totally sad to see Colton go home tonight. I was digging the male contestants this year. Phillip Phillips and Joshua Ledet are still my faves. The girls can go home for all I care.

Tomorrow Aaron goes to court with Mark, the step-father of sweet Samantha who was accidentally shot in the head nine months ago. That seems like AGES ago. We're looking forward to having this experience be a part of the past and not the present. It's really been such a terrible tragedy.

Hm... is there anything else I could say that could make this post more negative? I'm sure I'll regret being so open in the morning because there are a lot of you reading this that I don't know... but I pride myself in being real. Even though most days I am optimistic and happy, today I am just not feeling it. and that's a part of life, I guess. If I could critique my mother, I would say that she needed to write more negative journal entries as a young mom. She was so great at documenting... and I love reading back on her experiences, but it couldn't have been THAT wonderful all of the time. Every once in a while, she'll write about a hard day and those are my favorite because I can totally relate to it! I hate when she makes it look like raising ten kids was easy... because I know it wasn't. Five has almost put me over the edge. This motherhood gig is exhausting! Time for sleepy.

My Favorite Thing About Spring Break

Luke turned this paper into school a few days ago. I emailed it to Nancy and my parents this morning, but thought I would add it to the old blog for keepsakes. He's so cute. I love that he tries to add in "exciting" adjectives.

My Favorite Thing About Spring Break

By Luke S

4/9/12

My family and I traveled up to Utah for Spring Break. We did lots of fun things with my cousins. But my favorite thing about our vacation was when I went to my great aunt Nancy's house in Elk Ridge for Easter.

My great aunt Nancy lives with her best friend, Julie, in an awesome house. Her house looked pretty from the outside with a white picket fence. Once you get inside her house you figure that it is super duper huge.The upstairs is nice and cozy with bedrooms and living rooms. She has a great view of her backyard on her deck in her bedroom. Something that is very cool about her backyard is that it is on a huge, green GOLF COARSE! They also had 2 decks, and one of the decks had a hot tub!

We slept in the basement and that is my favorite part of her house because it's extremely big and exciting! She has so many fun activities to do. She had a mechanical basketball game where you would have to get as many shots as you can in 30 seconds. If you get over 30 points in 30 seconds, you get a bonus round for 15 more seconds! My highest score was a 75.

She has a ping pong table and a pool table. I loved playing my brothers in ping pong. My little brother Simon thought he was really good, but he never even hit the ball over the net. But we cheered for him anyway! She has one of the first Nintendos ever made. We liked playing Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt best. She also has a lot of shelves full of movies that you can watch. We didn't really watch any movies because we had too many other fun things to do.

We slept over at her house the night before Easter and that made the stay even more exciting. It was fun to hide a bag of candy for Nancy and Julie too. In my basket, I got a lot of awesome and yummy things! I got a long water blaster for the swimming pool. I got a lot of chocolate eggs that melt in your mouth, a gigantic chocolate Easter bunny sucker, and a ton of plastic eggs with jelly beans. Some marshmallow sticks that are probably good for eating, but I just let my baby sister play with them because she liked how the wrapper crinkled. Each of my brothers got a football. Mine is green on the top and white on the bottom. And our favorite thing was package of 15 glow sticks. When we got home, we combined our 60 glow sticks into a massive circle in our living room. We called it the ring of fire!

Out of all the awesome things we did over Spring Break, going to my great aunt's house on the last day was definitely the best! I hope we can go back soon.

Go Jim Bob!

I adore the Duggar family.. I don't have TLC anymore so I am not up to date with their show (I hear the season finale was an emotional one!) but I am still a huge fan. I know a lot of people want to rip on them for having such a big family, but they are amazing. Who is Kim Kardashian and why is she famous? Teenage girls need to be talking about these gorgeous Duggar daughters.. They are confident, respectful, incredibly talented, sweet, fun!, modest, helpful and absolutely beautiful. This is what reality TV is all about. I want to be like Michelle when I grow up.. she is doing something right! Anyway, here's an article my husband I and I read before bed last night:

How the Duggars Support 19 Kids and Live Debt-Free

Love and agree with it ALL. Love the comments that follow too.

"It's funny that the only "negative" thing people keep saying about this family, is that they have 19 kids... And that's a ridiculous argument to make considering they've taken care of those 19 better than some take care of 1."

People love to hate when they can't get it together themselves. and that's sad.

mushy

This baby girl loves herself some food! Even bland mush.

She will take whatever she can get, whenever she can get it.

When she sees food and can't have it, she has a mini-seizure. Her hands go crazy, she starts moaning and she does a whole body shake.. as if every fiber of her being is starving. She hates it when I deliberately keep the food away from her just to watch her freak out for a minute longer.

She's a very serious baby. Smiles are given if you work for them, but laughs aren't an every day luxury. Zack can get them most often, Daddy comes in close second. Mommy is in dead last place. I think I've gotten her to laugh twice. It's so not fair.

At six months of age, she is creeping up on 20 pounds. 19 point something. She is too heavy for Simon to lift and that's a wonderful thing. He will still try to pick her up and after a few minutes, he'll give up and say, "Mo-Mo is too fat."

We call her Mo-Mo. I am not really sure how it happened, but Mo stuck. and it fits her. She also goes by Monkey, Little Sweetie Pie, StinkyPants and Baby Doll.

She loves being a part of the crowd and will look you straight in the eyes, as if she's reading your thoughts. We can already tell she is one smart cookie.

She can roll over, but she doesn't want to. She won't sit up, either. She doesn't like exerting too much energy to do anything. She's the kind of diva that would rather be carried everywhere and be held all day long.

people ask me if it's different having a girl and I always answer YES. She has changed my world. She is a much more demanding baby than any of my boys ever were, but she is so worth it. My life and future is brighter because she is in it.

She is the baby girl I've always wanted.

nap time with Simon

Getting Simon to sleep is such a big task and the most IMPORTANT part of my day. He fights sleep like I've never seen before. I still use the crib tent when I don't have time to lay down by him, but we are trying hard to get him to sleep (and stay asleep) on his bed. As exhausting as it is, I really do look forward to our "down time" together. I try not to say anything, but he is always always talking. When I tell him to be quiet, he usually responds with "I can't. I too big." I look forward to hearing him say that every afternoon.

Yesterday after two minutes of total silence, Simon busted out with an original song. It only had three words in the lyrics and he repeated those words over and over and over. I loved it. He serenaded me for a while, and then I HAD to run and get my video camera. This is what happened when I came back....

Aaron is much better at getting him to sleep and will lay down by him at night, when he's home. Because Daddy is the favorite parent, Simon will do anything Aaron says and absolutely LOVES Daddy's bedtime stories. When Aaron is gone, I am on night duty and Simon will always tell me that he doesn't like me. He's so tired and he'll tell me over, "I don't YIKE you berry much. I omly love Daddy." Depending on the night, I will either smile or cry.

Aaron was trying to give me pointers to help him go to sleep better (because he's thinks he's a pro) and explained that he doesn't say anything, but just breaths in and out very loud and Simon will follow suit. I wish I could have videoed Daddy's demonstration, but it went something like this. "Breath very slow, in and out, in and out. Then get a little faster and Simon will too. Then when he's not expecting it, SNORT and it will be like the 4th of July."

Then next day, I tried Aaron's trick. I took deep breaths in and out for a good minute. Simon was looking at me in confusion, but he was following along and trying to relax. Then when I snorted, Simon wanted to laugh, but he controlled himself. He pointed his finger at me and said, "Don't do that Mom. Omly Daddy do that." It made me laugh so hard. I am still laughing about it, days later.

my monster

boys will be boys.

this boy is also part monster.

Simon is such a big mess maker. his worst messes don't get documented because they are so big. I spend all of my energy cleaning up and never even think about getting out the camera, although each time I regret not getting any pictures. Unfortunately we don't have anything to show for the bananas in my couch/carpet, the flour he spread over my entire kitchen and the bathroom cleaners he emptied at my sister's house over spring break. But he hit the motherload earlier this week by climbing up on my dryer and pouring an almost full gallon of bleach on 3 batches of clean laundry.

I was feeling pretty good on Monday. I hardly ever get unpacked the day after a vacation, but somehow I did. In the middle of house cleaning and laundry, I also managed to take the kids (+ friends) to a splash park and get slushies at sonic. When we arrived home from the park, I threw a chicken pot pie in the oven and started one last load of dirty clothes. Go me! Just before dinner, I changed Simon's diaper and asked him to take his swimsuit to the laundry room. my bad. when he didn't return a few minutes later, I found him on top of the dryer with an empty bleach container in hand.

It could have been A LOT worse and I am absolutely counting my blessings. He was totally okay, a little bleach on his legs, but nothing a quick bath couldn't fix. The first batch that got the most soaked were WHITES and they were all completely fine.. huge blessing there. He also soaked three favorite blankets and a snuggie and guess what? fleece doesn't bleach. They are slightly discolored, but nothing noticeable. and the third batch was ruined. Lots of dish towels, socks and 10 or so articles of clothing. And the nice bath towel that was on top of the whites load was so saturated that it ate through so it needed to be thrown out. For as big of a disaster as it could have been, the damage was minimal. picture below..

I stayed up until about 3 am sorting through the mess and getting all of the clothes clean again. I felt very grateful that the boys black church clothes were in the dryer when the bleach was poured and that all of our jeans were already folded and put away. But mostly I felt grateful that Simon was okay. There have been a few stories in the news lately of toddlers drowning after falling in the washing machine... and the fact that he was playing with BLEACH makes me so happy that he poured in on the ground instead of drinking it. Even though it was quite a mess to clean up, I know we were very blessed.

I mentioned earlier that he got into my sister's bathroom last week. He covered himself in comet and painted her walls with the toilet brush. A few days after that, he made his way down to her salon and emptied several bottles of new hair product while Debbie was packing a lunch for the park (and I was trying to feed a crying baby). My sister was naturally overwhelmed by his crazy antics and got upset. She has four sweet little girls and doesn't know what to do with a busy, crazy little boy! I stayed pretty calm because it happens all the time and I know it doesn't do much good to scream and shout. She said something about not knowing how to handle him and I took offense. Obviously I don't know how to handle him either... and I realize that he is a monster, but he's MY monster. And I absolutely love him to pieces. It doesn't mean I don't feel overwhelmed and frustrated by him every.single.day. But he's only two. He's just happens to be more curious and capable than most other two year olds, so his messes are significantly bigger. What can I say, he's an overachiever.

I used to be judgmental about parents with children who misbehaved or got into trouble. My oldest boys were the sweetest, most well-mannered toddlers you ever did see. I thought I was an amazing mother, practically perfect in every way. After two more "challenging" boys, I realize that I am far from perfect, but I believe I am a better mother. and I am more understanding and less judgmental. I am brought to tears on a daily basis because I am so exhausted and overwhelmed, but I wouldn't trade my toddler for any other... because, according to me, he really is the very best.

the women in my life

A week ago, I packed up my big van and set out for a spring break adventure in Utah.

At 7 am, I pick up my friend Jane and her two boys and we carpool together. The kids travel relatively well (minus the screaming) and Jane and I visit on the 6 hour drive that turns into 8 hours. We talk about sociopaths that live next door and the hopes and dreams we have for our children, among other things. When we stop for lunch at McDonald's, my kids want Green Lantern toys in the kids meals, but they know better than to ask. When Jane orders, she buys action figures for all of the boys. Jane is totally their favorite. and mine too. When we meet her dad off the freeway, we go our separate ways. I am not sad to say goodbye, but only because I know when I return home, she will be there. My life in Vegas wouldn't be the same without her.

When we arrive at Debbie's house, lasagna is cooking in the oven. Lori arrives soon after with her kids and brings a salad and bread and dessert. The gazillion kids (16 between the three of us) play while we catch up and watch Lilly's surprise birthday party on video. I don't say it, but I am secretly jealous that they live so close and can be there for birthday parties and such. I love my sisters.

Francine comes over after dinner and joins the conversation with my sisters. She brings her little Dahlia who is a month older than Roma, but you would never guess by her little frame. We laugh about Ro's fat rolls. Fran helps me get a sliver out of Simon's foot. She has such a soothing and calm demeanor. I admire my childhood friend for all that she does while suffering from Crone's disease. She is a fantastic mother. We talk until I can no longer keep my eyes open.

The following days are filled with family, family, family! We walk through the gardens at Thanksgiving Point, visit City Creek downtown and play at the park. It's always cold out, but the kids don't mind. I love visiting with my brother's wives. My sisters in law have to put up with a lot marrying into our big family. Jen is sweet and sincere. Amy is always up for a party-- anytime, anywhere. Katie is a firecracker and says exactly how she feels and I love that about her. Annette is always herself. She may cry over episodes of Nanny 911, but we'd never tease her about that. Being with these sisters of mine makes me miss Rachel and Kristy.

I am able to sneak away from the family and see Suzanne. She and her husband divorced weeks ago and she's in a new home of her own. As we walk up to her door, I remind Luke that he used to kiss Morgan on the lips every time he saw her. They were only two at the time, but it makes everyone giggle. The kids play well and Suz and I don't waste a minute together. Even though she has been through SO much since we've last seen each other, somehow I am the one crying about my problems and she is giving me advice. I love that we can be real with each other. We could talk for days more, but our kids have other plans (they can only play truth and dare for so long :). I drive away knowing it wasn't by chance we found each other in Spokane so many years ago.

Lilly's baptism is on Saturday. I was asked to speak on the Holy Ghost. I decide to bring the blanket my Grandma Roma and I made together when I was a little girl. Lilly is a lover of blankies-- has been her whole 8 years of life. I talk about my Grandma, my blanket and how the Holy Ghost can be a comforter in our life when we are feeling sad or lonely. The chapel is full of people I love. Lilly is beaming in her white dress. It is such a special day.

Cindy, my sweet baby sister is growing a baby of her own! She's glowing. She follows me to the mother's lounge where I feed my Roma and help my boys change out of their Sunday clothes. We talk about her classes, her midwife and parenting strategies. I can't believe she is so grown up. When we finally leave the mother's lounge, Matt is looking for her. I love that he is so attentive and caring. They are going to be amazing parents come September.

After the baptism, we say our goodbyes. Lori stocks me up with Easter candy and yummy bread and won't let me pay her a dime. I quickly stop at Debbie's house to download pictures from the baptism and help her with a handout for her lesson the next day. She has been called to be the new Gospel Doctrine teacher in her ward and she will be fantastic. Betty tells Simon that she's coming home with us and packs a bag. I so wish I could take her with. I love those nieces of mine.

We drive to Alpine to see Karlin and family. They are in the middle of a big move. The new house is beautiful and probably the most gigantic home we've ever been inside. Karlin and I know we don't have much time, so we talk about what really matters. Our husbands chat about horsepower, real estate and how they couldn't handle having more than one wife. The kids run across the street and buy lemonade from a stand. Karlin is probably 90 pounds soaking wet, but she is strong and determined and so capable. She amazes me.

We stop by Jade's house after she gets off work. Aaron's little sister has really grown up in the past few years. She and her husband want a baby soon and I love that Jade is so open and honest with her struggles. She made rice krispie treats with m&m's on top. She knows what my boys love! We don't talk for long because my aunts are waiting for us and Simon has tortured their cats long enough. We look forward to getting together in the summer and hopefully Jade will be expecting by then!

When we arrive at Nancy and Julie's home, dinner is hot, ready and delicious. They have "Simon-ized" their home and I am grateful, although he still manages to empty a roll of toilet paper without anyone looking. Their house is on a golf course and it's a beautiful evening. The boys opt out of jumping in the hot tub and decide to spend the evening in the basement playing basketball, ping-pong and pool. Nancy still has an old-school Nintendo and "duck hunt" is a huge hit. Aaron and I enjoy the gorgeous views off their deck and always love staying up late talking with my awesome aunts. We turn the electric blanket on high and the king-sized guest bed is nice and toasty. Even though they have moved a few times since I was a girl, their house still smells the same.

I wake up early and grab Easter baskets out of the van. I turn on Mirror has Two Faces while I assemble the kids' goodies. Aaron helps me hide them around the sleeping boys. Simon gobbles his entire basket of candy in under 3 minutes. He is disgusting. Luke and Ben go upstairs several times to see if Nancy and Julie are awake yet. We've hidden baskets for them too and the boys are excited to give them "hot and cold" clues. Julie comes down in her bathrobe and Nancy's hair is still wet from the shower, but they both play along and are so cute about their bags of candy. Nancy makes my kids breakfast while we finish getting ready for church. Their building is a hop, skip and a jump away from their house, but somehow Aaron and I still manage to get lost. Nancy gets in her car to come find us and we make it as the opening hymn is being sung. Roma fell asleep on our short drive that turned out to be rather long. I tell Aaron to wake her and pass her down the row to Julie. Nancy occupies Simon with her electronic coloring book. It's so nice to sit next to my husband during sacrament meeting, especially when someone else has the babies!

I wasn't planning on bearing my testimony. For heaven's sake, I didn't have an ounce of makeup on and my hair was a mess! But the Bishop's opening testimony about a "Mother's Love" touches me and I feel the need to stand. I don't know anyone in their ward, so I shake off the nerves and walk up to the pulpit. I talk about my loving aunts. Neither of them have children of their own, but they are Mothers to everyone around them. They are amazing women. I briefly share the story of Roma's birth. How she was born on Roma's birthday and that I know Nancy's mother was looking down from above, wanting her daughter to experience the birth of a baby. A Mother's Love is so strong and it doesn't end after this life. Nancy and Julie have tears in their eyes when I sit down, so Aaron gives me a thumbs up. We have this private joke about how testimonies aren't good unless someone cries. After the meeting, we visit with their friends and meet the Bishop. He is a gentle man who shares the same love I have for my aunts.

We follow Nancy home, because we're afraid we'll get lost again. All of the boys want to drive with her and somehow Simon scores shotgun! She packs us a lunch for our drive back to Las Vegas. She gives us more food than we can handle, but we graciously accept. The kids don't want to leave their house, but I tell them we can come back soon... if they'll have us. The drive home is quiet and peaceful. Everyone is worn out from the long week.

Just before bed, we took long, warm showers. I clipped each of the children's toes and fingernails. 50 little toes and 50 fingernails. It's amazing how clean, clipped fingernails can make you feel so happy and accomplished! The kids sprawl out on my bed while I read aloud to them. As I read, I hear my own mother reading to me as a child. My voice is just as calm and soothing as hers used to be. One chapter turned into three while Daddy made french toast downstairs. I thought of my sweet mother and all those tired nights she read to me. I feel 100% proud that I have turned into my mother! And then there's my wonderful mother-in-law who raised the kind, loving husband of mine. I pray I can keep it together and train my little men to be kind, loving husbands someday.

Hours later, I rocked my sweet baby to sleep. She is the softest, most darling little girl and she melts in my arms. My thoughts turn to my childhood and I couldn't help but be filled to the brim with love for all the women in my life. I am surrounded by warm, strong, inspired women who find the good in life despite the hard challenges they are faced with. I am so blessed to rub shoulders with these women and pray that my daughter will find friends and develop relationships with women that inspire her to become better. I am truly grateful for the mothers, sisters and friends who have influenced me in my life. I wouldn't be who I am today without them.

so much to do... even more to be grateful for.

We spent the past week partying in Vegas with Aaron's parents who came for Spring Break. Some of the fun included a trip to Spring Mountain Ranch (pictured above), Circus Circus, swimming!, staying up late talking, the boys having a "sleepover" with their grandparents, Krispie Kreme donuts, General Conference, Easter baskets, new clothes, playing with the baby, etc. There are lots of pictures to upload, but I am currently folding laundry and packing for our own Spring Break vacation! We are headed up north to see cousins....

This morning, I came across the most touching blog. It's a cousin of one of my friend's here in Vegas. She was living in WA with her husband and 2 year old son, who they waited 7 years to adopt. On her 31st birthday, her husband took their son on a short canoe ride on the lake outside their home and never came home. You can read about her story here.

The Olsen Family

news report on the accident

Our struggles and trials are all so individual. But I don't believe we would trade them for any one else's. After reading this sweet blog, I feel such a desire to do more with what I've been given and be GRATEFUL for all that I have.