to my favorite darling newborn

Dear Eden,

Today we met for the first time, face to face, and I fell in completely head over heels.  I know that some moms have very strong connections with their babies while they are pregnant, but I am not really one of those moms.  I kind of disconnect because it seems like the pregnancy goes on and on forever and that you'll never actually come out and be a real person.  But you are so real and so precious and just perfect in every way.
.

I will tell you all about your labor and delivery on another day.  All I can tell you tonight is that your pregnancy was my hardest and your labor took everything I had to get you here, but the minute I saw your face and held your creamy body, I knew I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.  One little sound of your cry made me realize that I wasn't really THAT miserable this past year afterall.

When you first came out, my immediate thought was that you looked like Roma and Luke when they were newborns. Your eyes were open right away and they looked dark and brown.  You didn't cry much, just tried your best to keep your eyes open and looked around the room.  The more I look at you, the more you remind me of Zack when he was born.  Your skin is very fair and your eyebrows and lashes are white!  Your nose is just like Zack's too.  He's been praying for the new baby to look like him because he thinks everyone else has a twin in the family (Ben/Simon & Luke/Roma) and I really think his wishes came true.  I keep looking at your face and this feeling comes over me that I know you.  Not that you remind me of the others, but that I know you and I loved you long before today.

You are an amazing little eater and quite the cuddle bug.  Each time I try to put you in your bassinet by my bed, you will fuss.  But all I have to do is snuggle you for a minute and you are content again.  Today we had a two hour nap together and you made the sweetest little sighs throughout it.  I had to open an eye and peek at you several times, just to make sure I didn't dream it all up!  You really came!

Out of all of my babies and all of their birth stories and experiences, yours is my favorite.  Maybe that's because it happened today or maybe it's because I believe it will be my last, but something about the feeling in our hospital room, in what happened to us as a family as we adored you and laughed when you squeaked and huddled around each other as if time had stopped and nothing else mattered but each other.  It felt as though you completed some missing piece in our puzzle.  That you were meant to come, not just to the Earth, but to our family because we need you in our lives.  I just kept looking over at Dad and smiling, while we watched the older kids fuss over you and examine your teeny tiny body parts.  (btw, Simon thought you had a super cute weenie, but we laughed and told him that you are a GIRL and he was just admiring your umbilical chord.  When we finished explaining, he said he already knew that...)

Life isn't going to be easy, I am sure.  You came into a family of 8 at a time when we have lots of decisions to make and we aren't sure which direction to go!  But none of that matters.  You are here, you are healthy and you belong to us!  and we are going to love you and take care of you the best we know how.  We're going to make a lot of mistakes, but something tells me you already knew what you were getting yourself into.  And you can't get away from us now because we're too much in love.

Sweet dreams my baby girl.  We have lots of memories to make and lots of sleep to catch up on!

I will never forget about how blessed I felt on the day you came into my life.

Love you forever,

Mom