Sunday

so.. it's May already.  May weather should last all year long.  I just can't get enough of the great outdoors.  In Vegas it's usually in the 70's-80's.  We took the kids camping earlier this week and it was perfect breezy sunshiney weather.

Today is Sunday.  it's been a good day.  Last night we got to bed super late.  Ben had two babysitting jobs and Aaron and I decided to grab dinner at Cafe Rio, so Luke and Zack watched Roma and Simon.  We meant to make it quick, but we ended up eating outside and talking to another couple at a table nearby.  They were expecting their second daughter and their two year old could not stop gawking over Eden.  They were trying to give us a little advice about when Eden grows up-- thinking she was our first.  Aaron didn't look a day over 20, wearing a backward baseball cap and tee shirt.  We informed them that she was actually our 6th baby and they flipped out, which led to a longer conversation about family life, homeschooling and religion.  I LOVE talking to random strangers, especially when it's deep conversation.  We should have asked for their info when they left so we could hook up again, but that won't happen. We're busy these days.  We have six kids, afterall.

We arrived home around 10 pm.  Roma and Simon were asleep and we stayed up late with the older boys talking about how we can make our home life more efficient and easier to run.  We set out a plan for Sunday and asked the boys how they'd like to help.  I don't know what it is about these kinds of conversations, but whenever we sit our kids down and talk to them about how we as parents need their help, they get so sweet and sentimental.  It must make them feel bad for us, although we don't give them a guilt trip, I swear.  After we said prayer and brushed teeth, each of the boys ended up in my bed wanting to talk more.  It was sweet to get one-on-one time with them.  Luke and I talked for the longest (shocker for Luke cause he's not much of a talker) but I told him all about the boys I had crushes on growing up.  Jared Fewkes was the first I can remember.  I liked him because three out of the five letters of our names were the same.  Kindergarten crushes can be like that sometimes.

Aaron and I continued talking after the boys went to sleep and finally turned off the lights around 1 am, which is terrible for early church.  8:30 sacrament meeting is rough especially when you've been up several times with a nursing baby.  I didn't shower, just threw on some clothes and helped the kids get dressed.  Roma wanted to wear her yellow dress again, but I had a different outfit picked out for her.  After a couple of minutes of fighting, Aaron made us make a compromise.  If Ro got to wear what she wanted today, I could pick out her outfit on Mother's Day.  But something tells me that won't happen.  She always gets her way.

On the drive to church, Aaron and I were totally congratulating ourselves for leaving on time (and throwing a turkey in the oven to cook while we were gone.)  I, of course, was putting on make-up on the drive.  I really looked terrible.  Bed head, maternity skirt and red puffy eyes from lack of sleep.  Aaron told me that he was proud of me for coming (because I never want to) and I told him I might even bear my testimony, which made us both laugh because we knew that wouldn't happen.

During Sacrament meeting I was really touched by each of the testimonies.  There was a little boy about 8 who got up so confidently and sweetly who testified that we can trust in the Lord when we're going through trials (he gave an example of having CRT testing at school and how hard it was, which was super awesome of him.)  I needed to feed Eden before 2nd hour, so I stood up at the end and when I did, I decided to go up to the pulpit instead of the mother's lounge.  I talked about my conversation with Luke and how my first memories of wanting to go to church was because I had a crush on a boy.  I remember my family sitting behind his in sacrament meeting and wishing I was his sister so that I could sit right next to him.  Over the years, my reasons for going to church have changed.  For many years they were for social reasons.  But now I go to church because I want and need to receive personal revelation.  I believe God knows us and speaks to us individually.  I am afraid that if I stop going to church, I won't receive it anymore, or that I won't be worthy of it.  Not that going to church makes me worthy, but at least I feel like I am doing my part to show God I want Him in my life.

I also go to church because I want to be a good example to my children.  I want them to go, but not so they could be spoon-fed the Gospel.  I want them to go and ask questions and decide whether or not it's something they believe.  I never want them to feel like they are forced to go to church... I want them to want to go, to enjoy associating with others who are striving to make their lives better.  There are so many good people in this world and a lot of them happen to be in our church building on Sundays.

Aaron and I volunteered to serve in Roma's nursery class.  I put Eden in a sling and we had a party with those cute kids.  Aaron was totally out of control.  He gave them each airplane rides and swung them around with Eden's blanket and was doing this crazy popcorn dance that he made up.  I was laughing so hard, and so were the kids.  At one point, the teacher next door came over and told us to calm down and keep it quiet, but Aaron happened to be hiding under the table (hide-and-go-seek) and didn't hear the request.  I thought it was interesting how Roma responded to the rest of the kids playing with her dad.  She just sat back and watched it happen.  Of course, she was used to this behavior, she sees it everyday.  But she seemed so mature about watching him play with the others.  She didn't beg for his attention, she just sat back and smiled and genuinely enjoyed sharing him with her friends.  She laughed along, too, but it was usually from a distance.  Eden was a gem and didn't make a peep.

We came home to a beautiful smelling turkey.  We let it simmer for a couple of hours longer while we mashed potatoes and made some stuffing (and waited to break our fast.)  For the 200th time we fasted about whether or not we should stay in Las Vegas or move.  We've been debating this question for a couple of years now and still aren't sure what to do.  We really love it here, but we need and miss our families.  I think the reason why we don't feel like we're getting any answers or direction is because we need to decide for ourselves and be happy about whatever we decide.  And I am sure that's what we will do.  Where to raise your kids is a big decision.  I think our boys will thrive in Vegas.  I also know they would give their right arms to live by cousins.... and I want that for them, too.  I was so fortunate to be close to my extended family as a girl.

After dinner and clean up, the kids and I went out to the trampoline while Aaron called his parents and siblings inside.  The weather was perfect and we played with Sunny and jumped and mostly just laid around and talked.  When the sun set, Dad came out to join us and we talked about the three most important things on everyone's mind.  Ben listed his family, scouts and what he wants to be when he grows up.  Which I thought was darling.  We also talked about where we want to live and made the kids promise that they had to marry and live down the street from us, wherever we decided to settle.  They all promised.

I mentioned to the kids that I was doing a course online about our gifts and strengths.  This week, I am supposed to identify my Superhero Power along with my Kryptonite, which is really the negative aspects of my greatest strengths.  I've been stewing about it for a while and think I've come up with it... We talked about each of the kids and their strengths and weaknesses, which is always a fun conversation.  Simon wanted to make sure that everyone knew his super hero powers are teleporting and sticking on walls.

Now I'm in bed, typing with Eden sleeping on my chest.  Aaron is next to me in bed going over interview questions for a big job tomorrow..  It would require a move, so I am not sure I really want him to get it, but it would make our decision easier to make if he did.

I haven't talked much about having my husband at home these past two months.  He's a private person, so I try to refrain from making our private life public (super hard for me to do) but my lack of writing on this blog has made me practically perfect in this area, so I am proud of myself!  But I will say that it's been so unbelievably amazing to spend so much time with him.  It's truly been such a blessing, not just because I had a baby in the middle of it and needed him to help me with the other kids, but really because being together is all we really want to do as a family.  We have individual goals and hobbies, but we work hard so that we can spend quality time together.  These past few weeks will go down in the books as some of the best in my motherhood career.  It's been so rewarding to watch Aaron step in my shoes and feel exhausted at the end of the day after doing what looks and feels like NOTHING.  And yesterday at Cafe Rio, Aaron told me, "Now I can see why you always asked me what I wanted for dinner.  It wasn't like you couldn't make whatever you wanted, but just the suggestion is helpful.  Not knowing what to make is most of the problem."  That simple realization from him means the world.  Being a parent is a tough job.  Having a newborn is killer.  But there are so many simple small moments that make the sweat and tears worth it.  I'm so grateful for all that I have, which is really nothing except my family and the knowledge that we belong together.