It's time for DINNER!

Keeping kids occupied while I am making dinner
is the HARDEST part of the day!

When 4:00 hits, it's WWIII in my house--everyday! I am completely exhausted and the boys are bouncing off the walls. I honestly think I am a nice mom except from 4:00-6:00 pm. That's when I do ALL my yelling and feel like locking my kids in their room until dinner is prepared (actually, I usually feel like sending them to bed for the rest of the night without dinner...) What I hate most about this is that my husband comes home and I am always frustrated! I usually pretend like I am not, but I don't hide it well. I hate that I am in a great mood all day except for right before he walks through the door. I mean, what husband wants to come home to a flustered wife and crazy, snotty-nosed kids? Not mine.

Anyway, this last week has been SO much better and I thought I would share our "solution"... and this was all Aaron's idea, so I need to make sure to give him the credit. We now have DINNERTIME TOYS that are only to be played with while I am making dinner. These are my boys' favorite toys and are up on a shelf until 4:00. They ask to play with them at least 3 times during the day and my response is (in a very excited voice) "It's not time yet! You can play with them right before dinner!" When 4:00 rolls around, we quickly clean up the living room to get ready for their special toys. This keeps the kids occupied and gives me some time in the kitchen to make dinner and stay calm and collected. And we are all happy when Aaron walks through the door! Ben and Luke have to clean up their toys in time to set the table and Zack plays until we are sitting down... we need him out of our hair for as LONG as possible!

And while I am talking about dinner helps, I thought I would post our weekly menu. This is hanging in my pantry and even though I am not a Nazi about following it everyday, it gives me some ideas. I try to do pasta only on Monday nights.. and usually Mexican on Tuesday.. etc. Of course, if I really feel like trying a new recipe, I don't stress about messing up our routine. But it really helps on those days that I am pacing the kitchen wondering what to make. And the funny thing about this is that Wednesday nights have become the night to look forward to.. why do breakfast foods make everyone happy?.. probably the sugary syrup.. I know it solves all my problems.

What DINNERTIME solutions do you have to share?
I know I could use them!

ps. for more WORKS FOR ME WEDNESDAY tips, check out Shannon's blog.

the splendor of love

Aaron and I have been cleaning out our garage to make room for some major food storage. We are finally getting our year supply and it feels good to be prepared. It also feels great to get rid of JUNK we've been hanging on to "just in case we might want it someday..." We donated boxes [and boxes] of stuff that never gets used. Anyway, as we were discarding old stuff, I found a bunch of old letters that I have saved over the years. I almost threw them out, but thought I would want to look through it just to make sure there wasn't anything priceless in there. Today I spent about 5 hours reading every letter and I know exactly why I haven't thrown them out. They are absolutely spendid! I mean these are really, really important to me and I am so glad I had the chance to reminisce while Aaron was working late. I cried while reading letters from my grandma Roma and a million from my parents! And I laughed SO hard at others. There were many things that I had forgotten about.. for example.

1) while in jr. high, a group of students were given a bunch of NBA basketball tickets (go Utah Jazz!) One of our friend's locker was broken into and his tickets were stolen. We were all really mad about it. When the rest of the kids showed up at the game, guess who was sitting in the stolen ticket seats? THE JANITOR and his son! We laughed so hard over that...

2) While camping, my sisters and I drove to a lake and played on the beach all afternoon. On the drive home, my sister Debbie started screaming that something was in her swimming suit biting her everywhere. Luckily, we were close to a gas station. She and I ran in to the bathroom (a small, one toilet stall) and she ripped off the top of her suit in a frantic and was screaming loud! She had ants all over and I was helping her get them off. In the midst of the chaos, we forgot to lock the door... A cute little old lady happened to open it on us... and here are two girls, facing each other... one totally topless and making loud noises. The poor little lady had a terrible look on her face and all she could say was, "Oh! Excuse me!" We thought that was the funniest thing EVER but somehow I managed to forget about it over the years! I love you, Deb... but not in that way, of course!

3) A few months after I had met Aaron... (and probably just a few weeks after my mother had met him.) She sent me a letter in the mail with updates from home. At the bottom, she wrote, "P.S. If you see Aaron on campus, make sure to wink at him!" I probably rolled my eyes at that comment back in the day.. not because I didn't like him, but because my mom was always saying stuff like that. She seriously LOVED him from day one... she had barely even met the guy and she just KNEW he was the one for me. I totally love that and I am so glad I have proof of her 'polite suggestions.' I am also so grateful it worked out the way it did! Thanks for the 'encouragement' mom!

I also loved reading notes from friends in high school and college when at the time, I didn't realize what an impact they would have on my life. There was one card in particular from Dana and Kelly.. (my next door neighbors at Ricks..) It was written about 2 weeks after we had met and said things like, "I know we were meant to be friends." And here we are 10 years later sharing stories of marriage and motherhood. I am so grateful I have been able to keep in touch with so many loved ones! (Of course, blogging has made everything a lot less complicated...but still!) My heart was filled with gratitude and this was exactly what I needed today. Earlier this morning, I was praying out of frustration.. just trying to get everything together and not feeling like myself. Sometimes I truly forget WHO I am and get lost in the busyness of life. This old box of letters was absolutely an answer to my prayer.. my little tender mercy for the day. LOVE is such a powerful thing! I truly do love so many people and I am SO grateful for the relationships and experiences I have had in my short 28 years. And as I look at my sweet little boys and my adoring husband, I cannot help but feel sincere gratitude for all that I have been blessed with. Today I was able to remember who I am.. who I have always been... and what truly makes me happy.

Say Cheese! It's GIRL'S DAY!

What am I going to do with this kid?

I swear, every time I turn around, I find him in the middle of a miniature disaster.

At least this time he helped with some of the clean up.

Can you say CHEEE-TOS?

Other than the Cheeto incident, the day has been fab. Ben and Luke were so sweet to me and I didn't exactly know why. When I woke up this morning, Ben was so excited to announce it was "Girl's Day." He presented me with a love note and said I could do anything I wanted --even watch princess movies! They were both asking me what they could do to help or if I wanted them to do my hair or paint nails. I thought the whole thing was really weird, but totally took Luke up on the offer to brush my hair- just because. He played with it for over an hour!! And when Zack was down for a nap, the boys told me that I should take a long bubble bath while they clean up their rooms.. ? Sure! I honestly had no idea what was going on.. and by this time, I was sure their dad had put them up to something. When Aaron got home from work, and I mentioned it, he was as confused as I was. But while doing the dishes after dinner, I looked at the calendar hanging in our kitchen and saw that "Girl's Day" was printed on March 3rd.. (apparently it is a Japanese holiday.) They must have seen that and thought it was a day for ME to celebrate! I thought it was very sweet of them and they totally made my Girl's Day a special one! This was Luke brushing out my hair (that happened to be curly and not so easy to brush, but I was happy never the less!) I seriously felt spoiled today and I will make sure to keep March 3rd as an annual Girl's Day holiday in my house!

pros and cons of Homeschooling

By popular demand (okay, only 3 people requested it) I have written a pros and cons list of HOMESCHOOLING. It is long and may be somewhat redundant.. so beware. For most of you who know me, know that I don't feel like it's bad to put your kids in school and honestly don't think there is anything wrong with the public school system (except that it SUCKS! jk) For those of you who are the least bit interested in educating at home, this post is for YOU!! Read through it, ask questions, comment or email me personally. I am 100% behind anyone who thinks they are up to the task and will encourage all those who want to join the homsechooling club! The numbers are growing... so jump on the band wagon! I would advise anyone who's thinking about it to understand what they are getting themselves (and their family) into, so here's my thorough list of the good, the bad and the ugly. I am starting out with the ugly.

• Exhaustion - Homeschooling is a FULL time job. It takes research, preparation, organization, time to set up, clean up, and of course, do the teaching. It takes a lot of energy to homeschool, and that energy has to come from somewhere. Don’t ask me where! I just wish I could hire a maid (and personal grocery shopper!) to do everything else on my list! Getting burned out is common for me. I usually have to take some time off and come back when I am ready to take on the world!
• Guilt – I once heard that homeschooling mothers are the most guilty. They always feel like they aren’t doing enough at home, but they feel guilty after sending them to school. This is probably the worst thing about homeschooling for me. It keeps me up at night and almost makes me want to think about sending my kids to school. Am I doing what is best for my kids? Will I screw them up forever? Am I teaching them what they need to learn? If I ever overcome the guilt, it will be through a lot of prayer.. and just by telling myself everyday that I am trying to do what is best for them. Hopefully someday they will know that I did it for their benefit.
• Comparisons - We all do it. We look at what others are doing, compare ourselves, and usually feel bad about what we're NOT doing. No two families homeschool the same, but I often compare myself to other homeschooling moms and always seem to fall short. We have an INCREDIBLE homeschooling group in this area! Which is great, but also makes me feel like I am not up to par. Comparisons kind of goes along with feeling guilty, but it deserves two bullet points!!
• No time for yourself - When you are with your kids 24/7 you can go a little crazy. Having time alone usually is on the bottom of the “to do” list. Motherhood has always been this way for me, but adding school to the mix makes it even harder to get time to relax and be alone.. and the sad part is, I usually use my alone time to read an education book or do lesson plans! If you have a difficult time being around your kids all day, then don’t homeschool! It can literally make you insane! Aaron worries about me—because sometimes by the end of the day, I am not very nice.
• Financial issues – We buy all our materials and sometimes it’s hard to know how much is too much (or enough.) Experimenting with a curriculum that doesn’t seem to interest your child can be frustrating. Before you buy something, make sure to do your research. Ask other homeschooling parents about what they use and if they like it. But you will still probably end up buying something that doesn’t work. It can be expensive and sometimes your husband won’t think that you NEED what you really do NEED!
• PAPER – as lame as this sounds, paper is a big stress in my life! There is always so much of it and I can’t decide if I should file it away or burn it! The boys each have a binder of things that are priceless… and then a drawer of things they don’t want to throw away, but it’s still always weighing on me! I don't have a "school room", so my kitchen table is often filled with paper and I cringe when it’s dinner time. I am getting irritated just talking about it! Next.
• Class parties – another lame issue, but it’s one I feel bad about. I loved having class parties and doing fun things at school. I try to compensate by throwing our own parties at home. I am not sure if they are better or worse than what the school can pull off, but I would think better. Can you have a slip and slide on the trampoline at a school party? I think not.
• Friends – this goes along with the fun, social part of school. I am sure there are friends in their classes that they will never meet because they don’t attend school. But this hardly ever worries me. We have a lot of friends. We are involved in a fun group with tons of kids their ages who all live within a couple of miles from our home. Our neighbor kids always come to our house to play and they are hardly ever asking for more interaction. I can see this being a con if you are a mom who doesn’t venture out and find satisfaction in meeting new people. And I am sure as time goes by, my kids will be in need of other kids their age, but right now we are coping just fine!
• All the housework! - It is hard to keep up with routine chores when much of the week is devoted to school. I like to include my kids in the housework because cleaning is a very important lesson.. (but this usually means that my house doesn’t get cleaned the way it should!) I have never been good at keeping a clean, organized home… and I really want to change it! Never say never!
• Quality of Education – many people argue that some mothers aren’t equipped to teach at home.. especially those without an educational degree. This may be true, but the statistics show otherwise. Homeschooling children usually score higher and are usually educationally advanced. I don’t believe this has much to do with how the parent teaches, but more with the environment in which they are taught.. (sorry if this sounds like it is a pro—it definitely can be a con.) DO NOT be discouraged about being able to teach your own children! You have already taught them successfully this far- you can do it! And there are plenty of resources out there to help if you are frustrated!
• Living outside the norm - I don’t consider myself (or my husband) to be extreme or weird, but when we tell people that we homeschool, we get THE look. Of course, I understand why.. I am sure I felt the same way a few years ago. Homeschooling is not “normal”. Everyone sends their kids to school, so I understand that we’re different.. but sometimes I feel as though we get classified with the polygamists or Quakers. Just because we homeschool doesn’t mean we’re not cool. I tell my kids that all the time. We are friendly and fun and not afraid to make new friends.. but it can be awkward when talking to others about it (and I am sure it will be an issue when our kids are older and are labeled as the “homeschooled kids”) We will cross that bridge when we come to it.
• The SOCIALIZATION factor – this is the topic that the world wants to talk about. Everyone seems worried about the socialization factor. I am putting it on the CONS side because I believe many people see it as a negative effect of homeschooling, but I strongly disagree. I do not think that sending your child to school makes them social or automatically popular. There are many kids at school that are socially backward and this is probably because their parents are socially backward. These kids don't automatically become socialized when they go to school.. they are the ones that don’t fit in. and what makes it even more ironic is that the “socially fit” children find it “socially acceptable” to tease them or make them feel not included. Some children are born shy and some outgoing.. the school environment is best for the outgoing ones because they are cool. Luckily I was cool at school (jk) I do not stress about this or think my kids will suffer from being at home because frankly, Aaron and I are cool. My kids are fun, polite and very silly. With that said, they are also shy and definitely on the nerdy side.. is that because they are homeschooled or because they were born nerdy? I personally don’t care… but I thought the topic was worth mentioning.
  

• Open Curriculum - we can study what we want, when we want (and it is almost always what the kids are interested in.. so it seems to stick with them.) We can spend weeks (or months) learning about a certain subject and go into as much detail as they can handle. We also don’t have to jump from subject to subject just because the bell rings. Sometimes we DO have to stop because it’s dinnertime (or bedtime) though!
• Flexibility - This is HUGE for me. We can take a vacation whenever during the off season and never have to stress about taking a week off when we have the flu. Our calendar is wide open and we are sometimes very sporadic about when to hop in the car and take a road trip. If only Aaron’s job was more flexible!!
• Student/teacher ratio. It’s 3/1 in my house and when Zack is down for a nap it’s 2/1. Many times during the day Ben has a question about something that Luke is not studying.. this is very one on one. Personal time can be given on any subject with which they struggle (or excel.)
• Time (reason #1) - I spend about an hour a day homeschooling.. sometimes we get carried away and go for two or three, but that is only when we are enthralled. The rest of the day is for playing. They are only little once and they aren’t wasting any of their time waiting for the fun to happen. My kids play hard—and sleep well! I can’t imagine them spending so much of their time in school! It’s just too long!
• Time #2- although it takes time to homeschool, I believe it saves me more. I don’t spend my days driving children to and from school and never set my watch according to the bus schedule. Our day is open and free and this allows us to have quality time— to do whatever we want! I usually don’t ever feel like I am in a time crunch. I don’t rush out the door while yelling at my kids to hurry up. We try to be on time for whatever is planned (story time at the library or other scheduled events) but I rarely find myself frustrated that we are going to be late. I believe this makes me a more relaxed mother. Now Sundays are a different story! I am always in a rush to get breakfast made and get out the door… I can’t imagine being this way every day of the week!
• Getting my own education – I LOVED my public school experience and was able to graduate from college but I after all these years, I am finally learning! Sometimes I read a little too much about bugs and dinos, but the info is sticking with me because it’s all hands on.. I am now very excited to go back to school to receive a master’s degree. I finally have an enthusiasm to gain more knowledge.
• Frequent field trips. How many schools do you know that have a weekly field trip? Some of my favorite teaching moments have come on the way home from an adventure! There are so many places to go that don’t cost a penny.. the fire station, dairy, horse ranch… etc. And the best part about our field trips is that the museums and parks are EMPTY because everyone else is in school! Summer is usually frustrating for me because everything is more crowded!
• A schedule that works – Ben is an early bird and likes to get started right away. Luke would sleep in until noon if he could and usually isn’t functioning until the afternoon. They can take things at their own pace and learn when it’s convenient (and fun) for them.
• Wide range of learning - You are never stuck to a pre-set curriculum. All children have different interests and there is SO much to learn! Who said we can’t learn Latin, Spanish, how to garden, photography, cooking, art, music, microscopes... the list is endless and can be exhilarating for children (and for the adults who have never had the chance to learn about these things!)
• Religion – many homeschool for religious reasons, and I hadn’t really thought about it until after I started. I probably don’t realize what a blessing it is to talk about God in everything we do. He is a part of math, reading, and self-esteem issues. Being a good friend, sharing, keeping yourself clean has everything to do with what Heavenly Father wants us to do and that is a big part of what we learn each day.
• Family is everything. We are together ALL the time. I have the time to build intimate and meaningful relationships with my children and they are also close as siblings.. they are seriously the best of friends and I love that. Homework never takes priority over family time. The evenings (especially when Aaron is home) is all about family.... isn’t it about time?
• Real life learning - a huge part of our routine is learning the everyday stuff. Cleaning toilets is part of the routine and so is learning to share. This is real life stuff—and I really want a girl so I can teach her how to make bread.. because my boys aren’t interested! I spent SO many years at home with a mother who made the best bread in the world and I never learned from her! Of course, that’s not her fault… I was too busy doing homework and extra curricular activities!
• Learning styles – all children are different and mine are polar opposites. But I am their mother and I know their personalities. Something that works well for Ben usually doesn’t work for Luke and vise versa. I can easily adapt what we study and teach it in a way that is easiest for the child to grasp.
• Early childhood education - even though homeschooling is for the “school aged” kids, the younger siblings always participate. Luke learned to read quicker because Ben was doing it.. and Zack is so much better off because his brothers are great educational examples to him.. I hope it gets better after each child. I know it’s hard with a baby (this is also on the downside of homeschooling) but it is so beneficial for the little ones.
• Protecting our kids from negative influences - This is NOT one of my top reasons for homeschooling, but it is definitely a benefit. I don’t wish to raise my children in a bubble but believe there is a time and place for them to learn what goes on in the world. Elementary school, in my opinion, is not the time for that.
• Parenting plus - Aaron and I work together with the homeschooling routine and even though I do most of the preparation, he is very involved in the discussion. I believe we have become closer as we both sacrifice to keep our kids at home. He does a lot for me because he knows I am tired! I believe he respects me because he knows that I am giving it my all. We have definitely become closer through homeschooling. (And let me say that when I first told him my “revelation” to educate at home, he thought I was insane.. but he came around and is now my biggest fan!)
• Stability – Considering the unstable living situation our children have had (moving 9 times in our 7 years of marriage) I have never worried about the kids' schooling.. where they will go and if they will adjust to their new teacher. It doesn’t matter where we live (we always talk about going overseas..) and that’s okay (and even exciting) because I don’t worry about what they will do and where they will go to school.
• Learning is exciting, not boring - When my boys get bored, we quickly change subjects. Reading books, doing worksheets, and learning to write is a positive thing for our kids and I hope they always have enthusiasm to learn new things. If it’s not forced, I believe they will always enjoy it. Growing up, I loved everything about school except for the learning part.. and it got worse as I got older. High school was a blast- but I didn’t learn a whole lot (if anything) in my classes. If I could teach my kids ONE thing, it would be that learning is fun and easy. I don’t care what kind of information they retain, but I want them to know where to go when they want to know more. Typically students believe that learning comes while sitting in a desk while the teacher lectures. This is the last thing I want my kids to believe. I never want them to say “it’s summertime- so I don’t need to learn” Education can be a hands-on experience and it should be an everyday thing. They beg to learn and my biggest problem is that I can’t do it ALL day! It has definitely gotten easier now that both older kids are reading on their own. Now they can spend quiet time in their rooms (while I take a nap or blog) and then we can talk about what they found interesting in their reading. It is all VERY exciting!!

Now... I after reading this list, you realize that I AM extreme and totally 'out of the norm', but that's okay with me. And even though it's a huge sacrifice, it's worth every minute. Sometimes I feel like jumping into homeschooling was a lot like having children. Yes, it's really hard and time consuming-- and the perks don't come in a way that are easy to explain. If someone said to you, "Having a child is so much work! It's expensive, you lose sleep, you don't get to do what you want to anymore... etc, etc." Would you still have kids? Of course- because the rewards of being a parent are worth all of the sacrifice. This is how I feel about homeschooling. It's hard but OH so rewarding! And the benefits often come in the ways that you least expect it.

tennis channel open

Today was a busy day. We ran errands in the morning, watched tennis and then went shopping for our year supply of food storage. Just a typical Saturday. Oh, did I mention that the tennis was live and we were watching Andre Agassi vs. Lleyton Hewitt?! They were just hitting around for fun, but it was incredible! We were three rows up and our mouths were open the whole time. We also saw Fernando Gonzales and Thomas Johansson play, but that was nothing compared to Andre. Today was a preliminary day at the Tennis Channel Open (an annual tournament here in Vegas) and that means that the tickets were free. I think Aaron was in heaven. We were so close and could hear Hewitt saying "Sorry, mate" and Agassi screaming, "That just isn't acceptable!" But he was incredible for an old man! What an experience!

It was a beautiful, gorgeous, sunny day. We wore shorts and sandals and enjoyed the breeze. We are determined to make our kids play pro tennis... so today while we sat in the stands watching some of the best, we talked about all the cool things they could do if they played pro. Luke was convinced after realizing that if he was good enough to go pro, he could afford his own remote control Robo-Raptor (I think it's around $50 and we will never buy it for him.) I have a ton more pictures, but don't want to post them today... our laptop is officially dead and I don't have picasa on my desktop. My life is still worth living, though.

Okay, here are the rest of the pictures. My laptop is still dead (and will never be resurrected.) For those of you who are tennis fans, you will recognize Gonzales in the pictures. We happened to get a great shot of Johansson's beautiful serve.. Zack missed a majority of the excitent because he was fast asleep in the stroller.. like I said, it was a great day for everyone!