smells like flowers

it's been an uneventful Monday. I honestly can't even tell you what I did today... not one thing productive. We ended up having french toast and OJ for dinner because I just couldn't seem to plan or execute anything.

Actually, I did wash sheets... but only because I absolutely had to. Zack brought a drink to story time on my bed and spilled. We all got wet and not only had to change the sheets but all of the clothes we were wearing.

Simon went through at least 5 outfits today. He got into some craft paint in the laundry room, which was a big mess, but not as hard to clean up as it looked. I must have some experience in this area. After his first bath, he found a new bottle of lotion (a yummy kind I got from my baby shower this past weekend.) He coated his entire body with this lotion. And when I say entire body, I mean, he took off his diaper and drenched each and every body part. By the time I found him, the damage was done... half of my new lotion was out of the bottle. But he sure did smell good! In fact, Zack was so enthusiastic about how yummy he smelled and kept saying, "Oh boy! You really smell like flowers!!" Just as I was about to put on a clean diaper, Zack had to make sure Simon knew that ALL of his body parts smelled good and exclaimed, "Simon, even your wienie smells like flowers!" That made Simon pretty happy... and I couldn't help but laugh myself. I figured I should type it up and add it to the list of "wiener" blog entries we have in the archives.

And that, my friends, was the most exciting thing that happened at our house today. Here's to hoping we have a more productive day tomorrow... and that we smell like flowers while getting it all done!

Autumn is almost here!

I am feeling rather content and happy tonight and wanted to document the weekend. However, I don't have any pictures to show for it and that's very disappointing... I guess it's better to write something without the visuals than forget about it all together.

There is a lot of positive to say about the school transition for the older boys, but one thing I've noticed is that our weekends are so much more appreciated. Friday and Saturday are full on parties compared to the weeknights. We spent lots of quality time together as a family.. it honestly doesn't really matter to me what we do-- it just makes it that much better when we're all doing it together.

We got a few projects done on the house. The nursery is still a disaster and needs to be put back together asap. We had an awesome homeschooling book club (that I still consider myself a proud member of.) I cut each of the boys hair, we went swimming and BBQ'd with friends, watched a disappointing football game, played cards and made lots of yummy food. In fact, we made so many homemade meals that our freezer in the garage is almost full. It's my goal to have at least a months worth of go-to dinners before the baby is born. I think I am almost there.

On Saturday, my thoughtful friends threw me the most incredible baby shower. I felt so spoiled and a little guilty for taking home a CARLOAD of pink things. Diapers that will last for months, darling shoes, dresses, tights and hair bows. But more than the presents, being in a room full of women who love and support me and only want the best for my family is a little overwhelming. This was my third baby shower and as much as I fought doing it again, I am so grateful for all the love, support and excitement that has been given for this little girl who hasn't even entered the world yet. We have been truly blessed. Out of all the gifts I received, my most favorite was a thoughtful book of messages (and advice) written by loved ones, both near and far. If you contributed to this book, thank you. It really means the world to me and I will treasure it for always. Such wonderful messages and such great advice on how to raise a GIRL! I am going to need it, I'm sure.

The past couple of months have been a little crazy, but I have never felt so grateful. My children are all healthy and strong... no one has needed to see a doctor all year, there have been no broken bones on the trampoline and our house was literally saved from being burned to the ground last week. I know we're being watched over and protected. Last night, while cutting the boys hair, Simon touched a hot lamp we'd pulled in for better lighting and blistered his little fingers. While he was crying himself to sleep, I was thinking about how much worse it could have been and how blessed we truly are.

Today at church, I dressed up as Sister Friendly and visited JR & SR sharing time. I know it's going to be several months before I will be able to do it again and I am so happy I felt well enough to do it today. I absolutely LOVE the Primary in our ward. My boys have such great friends and teachers and I love being able to interact with the children... even if I have to embarrass myself to do it. Our ward has truly become our family here in Vegas and this weekend solidified that more than ever. It's hard living away from "home" but it makes it so much easier when you are surrounded by amazing people.

While cleaning up after dinner tonight, I accidentally broke the disposal in the kitchen sink. Aaron spent a long time researching how to fix and then got to work while I laid on the couch and talked to my dear friend Bev Olson on the phone. When I finally hung up, the sink was working good as new. I am so grateful for my husband and all that he does for me. He's not naturally a "handy man" but he is always willing to spend the time to figure something out and to do it right. He is such a hard worker and never has any down time. Sometimes i get frustrated being home all day long, but I have so much more free time than he does. He has been an amazing provider for our family and I am grateful that he worked hard through years and years of school so that we can make ends meet today. We have always been blessed financially, never exactly having more than we need, but always having enough. These past few months with the experiences we've had, I feel more than ever that God is aware of us and watching out for all of our temporal needs. My cup runneth over!

Tomorrow starts a new week and there is a lot on the TO DO list. I am still contracting consistently but I believe she will come when she is ready to come. I was a little uptight a couple of weeks ago, afraid that I would deliver too soon, but I am feeling very relaxed and chill lately. There is something so magical about labor-- and I am so looking forward to meeting our daughter! The next few weeks will be very exciting and I am trying my best to be patient and get as much done before she comes. I get so giddy just thinking about Fall weather, General Conference, Halloween.. add a baby girl to the mix and I can hardly contain myself! It's the most wonderful time of the year...

september fifteenth

a few things happened today that I want to record.

• I slept for about 2 hours last night.. and that's rounding up. I got another hour in from 6-7 am.
• I woke up to Ben tapping me on my shoulder, holding a plate of scrambled eggs and a big glass of ice water. He said, "Here's breakfast, mom. Are you going to drive us to school? Luke and I are ready to go. Well, Luke still has to comb his hair."
• About ten minutes later, we were on the road, Luke's hair combed and all. The drive to school is beautiful. No one was upset when they ran off to the playground. Simon kept repeating on the drive home, "Ben. Luke. sCool."
• While putting away clean laundry in my room, I smelled something burning. I found Zack and Simon in my closet lighting matches. When I opened the door, Zack said, "Mom, I wanted to stop, but Simon just kept saying, 'Again, again.' and I just had to light another one. "
• Before the burning smell had faded, Zack came to me with a big wad of bubble gum stuck in his hair... right at the scalp. I got a picture of it, but don't want to upload it. maybe later.
• With a little peanut butter, the gum came out. The two little boys spent about an hour in the bath together. I scrubbed the toilet and mopped the floor around them.
• Simon wouldn't go down for a nap to save his life, which means I didn't get any down time either. I was SO tired of lifting him back into his playpen, I finally gave up. He won.
• While stocking newborn diapers in the baby's room, Zack held one up and said, "Oh mom. Our baby is going to have the littlest butt." I get excited just thinking about a newborn butt, too.
• Before I knew it, it was time to pick up the kids from school. The weather was incredible, so I let them play at the skate park for a while afterward. Ten donkeys came to play with them.
• We arrived home, had a snack and did homework. Ben and Luke really enjoy school, especially on PE days. They played tetherball today. I pray they will grow up to be just as socially skilled as Napoleon Dynamite. Public school makes you socially normal, you know.
• While I helped the kids with their school work, Simon fell asleep standing up-- no joke. He propped his head against the armrest of the couch and slept there for about 20 minutes, until his legs finally gave in and he collapsed on the floor. I regret not running upstairs to grab the camera before he fell.
• Aaron came home, which was a fantastic surprise. It's tennis league night for him. He said he was afraid I would have a nervous breakdown if he was gone all night. I laughed and kissed him. And then got changed into my painting clothes.
• Keyonna and I painted the nursery purple. Vintage Violet to be precise. We locked the doors, watched The Devil Wears Prada and were almost successful keeping the kids out.
• Aaron made dinner and called us down when it was ready. I love him.
• After a delicious meal, the girls headed back upstairs and the boys took the dog for a walk. They had a "dog challenge" in which Sunny's leash was tied to the wagon where Zack and Simon were riding. Ben and Luke were challenged to run faster than Sunny, pulling the two kids. Sunny was much faster. In fact, she was so speedy, she sent the wagon - and kids-flying in the air. Simon came back with several rocks and scrapes in his forehead.
• Zack was sobbing when they returned. The way he was acting, I thought Sunny had been hit by a car. When he finally said Sunny was okay and that he had bumped his head on the pavement, I felt relieved. I guess I do love that dog after all.
• Everyone changed into pj's. including me.
• I read to my kids for about an hour before bedtime. We just started a new book. Z for Zachariah. I ran across it at the library and remembered my 7th grade teacher reading it to our class. Public school was good for me in many ways.
• Aaron went to play basketball after the kids fell asleep.
• I forgot to tell Aaron to return a redbox movie for. Something Borrowed was worth one dollar, but not two. Curse redbox.
• Simon decided he didn't want to sleep and crawled in bed with me. We snuggled for a while and I had him giggling good. When he started getting sleepy, I had him practice saying the name Roma.. He says "Woma" so perfectly. Hopefully his cute voice can convince Daddy. He fell asleep laying on my belly while I combed through his fluffy hair.
• I got to thinking about our day and decided to blog.
• Aaron came home from basketball and collected garbage from around the house. Usually my boys do that on Thursdays, but they weren't really available to do it today. They are so "busy" with their new schedule. Hopefully we can remember next week.
• I am going to go clean up dinner. I said that I would hours ago, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Somethings are more important than others.

what to do at 4 am...

I thought of several things I could be doing rather than tossing and turning in bed: finish painting the nursery, make Halloween costumes, organize closets, clean the dog's cage, prepare freezer meals.... but most of those things would wake the kids and we won't be having that.

Instead I am going to add a few back-dated photos to the blog. I literally have 1000 pictures that need to be uploaded... but for some reason or another, I just can't find the motivation to do it. I've decided that taking a couple of bites a day might be the best way to eat the elephant. Here are some from our trip to Bear Lake.

I heart the picture above. Not just because I'm smoking hot in my pink maternity swimsuit... but because I had the best time sharing an air mattress at the lake with some of my favorite women. There are a lot of women in this world to love... I feel lucky to be related to some of the best. My sisters are suchs blessings in life. I have four amazing blood-related sisters... and five incredible women who have married my brothers. Amy is the only sis-in-law in this picture. She is saucy, hilarious and always up for a good time.

Here are the cutest little newlyweds you ever did see. These two are both SO INCREDIBLE with the kids. Matt is one of the oldest of nine children and Cindy is the baby of ten (aunt to 35) so they have had LOTS of practice with snotty-nosed, cry-babies. They are going to make awesome parents someday (no kids for them for a while.)

All of the cousins, but especially the boys, had an absolute blast at the lake catching fish and snakes! I am not sure how many fish they captured in their buckets, but probably around 50? This was our own little private lake. Not exactly fancy, but so much fun for everyone. Those weeds were hiding all kinds of animals!

ALL of Debbie's girls are beautiful, but this one could be a centerfold. Her personality is something else too. All I can say is that I feel for my sister and what she's going to have to deal with when her daughters are teenagers. Wowza.

This was taken minutes after we arrived in Idaho. Simon jumped in the water before I was able to take off his clothes. He was seriously SO HAPPY to be there. I let him play for about an hour before I actually put on his swimsuit.. not because I wanted him walking around with a 20 lbs diaper, but because every time I tried to take him out, he gave me the look of death.

"Don't you dare try to take me out of this water..."

Each night we made S'mores and enjoyed the beautiful cool summer air.

This isn't a great picture, but it's the view we had from the back deck. So unbelievably breathtaking. While there, I kept thinking we should name our baby girl HAVEN. I was so peaceful and just kept thinking about what a beautiful word that was. Too bad my husband and I don't agree on anything.

this is Debs and Betty. Words cannot describe how much I love them. Debbie and I spent two solid weeks together, most of the time without our husbands. I wish she was my sister-wife and lived with me always. She is such an inspiring, incredible, amazing girl. So lucky to have her in my life.

The bed Simon and I shared at the cabin is one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on. I was so sad we had to leave! We would fall asleep with the windows open and most nights we could hear the rain pitter-pattering against the glass. Simon fell asleep next to me one night and I just had to get up and take a picture of him. He was delirious from a long day at the lake. He couldn't keep his eyes open, but he was fighting sleep like I've never seen before. He lids were open while his little eyeballs would roll in the back of his head. Each time it happened, I would laugh hysterically. Then he would laugh (eyes closed) as if to say, "I am still awake and part of this conversation... I know what is so funny!" It happened a dozen times before he finally crashed. While he was sleeping peacefully, hands on his cute little tummy, I thought about how much I love each of my children. Simon was wearing a pair of pajamas we had purchased for Benjamin at that age. Each of my boys had rocked these comfy pj's... and they are so worn out now, but I just can't get rid of them. As I laid next to him and stared at his unbelievable eyelashes, the baby girl was kicking inside my tummy and I just felt so.... blessed. This is when I finally got up and took a picture of the moment. I am so grateful for these busy/exhausting days of motherhood. I hope I never forget how much joy I have in my heart at the end of (most) long days.

Ten pictures down, 9990 to go.....

fully invested

it's been raining here quite a bit... which is unusual for these parts. You can't help but love a cold downpour after months of 100 degree weather. This morning, I could feel the storm coming, so I made sure the dog was inside. Poor Sunny got wet on Saturday during the rain storm and I wouldn't let her come in the house ALL.DAY. A big dog in the house is bad enough. A wet big dog is a no go. So, anyway, I made her come in, but as soon as Simon opened the back door to see the big raindrops, Sunny ran out. She was out there for all of ten seconds before she realized how hard it was raining and then she wanted back in. Sorry, Dog. You chose to be outside and you're staying there until you dry off. My floors are clean and they are staying that way.

Lately I've been wondering if I am fully invested in decisions I make. I am such a free spirit that if something sounds fun or new, I want to try it. But often I take bites bigger than I can chew. Take having another baby, for example. I want a big family. But my hands are full these days and I stress about adding another one to the mix. Simon is such a crazy toddler and something tells me having babies less than two years apart is not a good idea. I had a scare on Sunday and thought our little girl was coming. I left church early because I wasn't feeling well. I took a nap and woke up to strong contractions. They continued through the day.. about 4 minutes apart. Around midnight, I thought it was the real deal. I paced around for a couple of hours timing them and waiting for them to get unbearable, but around 3:30 am, they finally stopped. I was so relieved. I don't want to have a small baby... and I am not ready for her to come yet. Still so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I am sure I will love her to pieces when she arrives, but right now, I am just not sure I am fully invested.

And then there's school. It's a great school for Ben and Luke. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of wonderful things about being scheduled, teaching your kids responsibility, letting them discover the world on their own, etc, etc. But I am really missing what we used to have. Like today, for instance. A rainy, thunderstormy day is the best kind of day to stay in bed and in your pj's and read, read, read. We are in the middle of The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis. I would so prefer reading that aloud to my kids today rather than sending them somewhere else. When Luke asked to stay home, I almost said yes. And when I dropped them off, I felt a little sick to my stomach. They are going to have a good day, I am sure, but it could have been a great one at home.

Last Saturday I cried for the first time since we sent them to school. So weird for me to cry about it on a Saturday, but I did. And I cried a lot. Ben, my lover of books, woke up and said, "I am so glad I DON'T have to read today." His teacher has been requiring them to read M-F for 20 minutes a day and then write a couple of sentences to summarize what they read. This is a cinch for both of my kids, but especially for Ben. He's the one who often wakes up at 5 am to read until the rest of us roll out of bed. He's fully invested in Harry Potter and has sped through thousands of pages. But since school has started he ONLY reads 20 minutes a day... and on Saturday he was glad he didn't "have" to read, which made me so sad. We had a great day as a family, but ended up doing homework on Saturday night to avoid doing it on Sunday... Ben and Luke both wrote reports. Ben's was about how much he loved serving as a waiter at Aunt Cindy's wedding. Luke wrote about winning "most colorful car" at the Pinewood Derby. Both great subjects, right? I think so. However, they had already written an outline and rough draft and now needed to spit out the same thing for the third time.... which made it not fun anymore. I know they are learning valuable editing skills, but I want my kids to LOVE to write. Writing can be exciting and creative and stimulating. But when it becomes a task, something that someone else is making you do, it's not fun anymore. And that kills me. I am watching their love of learning fade before my eyes. Yes, I am being dramatic, but it brought me to tears on Saturday night when we decided not to go miniature golfing as a family and finish the reports instead. My family time is so precious... and it's being taken away from me. Yes, we will figure out a routine soon. Homework isn't going to be the death of us, I would just rather do it at 10 am then right before dinner (or instead of miniature golfing.) I know 98% of you don't understand where I am coming from, but I would go back to homeschooling in a heartbeat if I could. Only, I am committed to finishing out this school year. I stepped outside, got wet and there's no going back inside. Darn it.

Zack and Simon are doing fabulous at home. I love their crazy personalities and excitement for life and learning. They are great little buddies. Unfortunately, their creativity and passion gets them in trouble at times. (They are both big mess makers.) but I am so happy they get this year to be together. They are like two peas in a pod. Simon is growing up so quickly and talks nonstop. When ever I ask him to do something (or not do something) he responds with a quick, "Okay, mom." or sometimes just an "Okay." It's so nonchalant that when he says it, he reminds me a of teenager. One of his favorite things to do is pick up a book and "read" it. Sometimes he's reading it upside-down, but that won't stop him from explaining what's happening on the pages. He has become quite the jibber-jabberer. Zack seriously makes me laugh every day. I have been so bad at recording all that he says, but I posted this on Facebook with my phone this morning. After taking the kids to school, Zack found some loose change in the back seat. Without any expression on his face, he handed it over to me and said, "Here, Mom. I'd like to buy a vowel." We haven't watched Wheel of Fortune in ages, but he's been pulling mysterious comments out of his hat since the day he was born. He's doing really well with his Kindergarten material at home and does his "homework" with the older boys... which is all fun.... because his teacher is super radical.

Aaron is busy at work but continues to be my superhero of a husband. He does all the grocery shopping, makes dinner a few times a week, changes poopy diapers, serves faithfully in his calling, wakes us up for scriptures in the morning, plays sports as often as he can, sings Christmas songs in the shower, and loves me despite my unstable, emotional state. Last night I told him I wasn't myself lately. He laughed good and hard and said, "That's the understatement of the year." Maybe that would make some women feel bad, but it made me feel so much better knowing that he recognizes I am different too. If I had to feel like this all my life, I wouldn't want to live very long. Sounds depressing, right? Well, I am just not feeling like myself lately.

so, four more weeks to go. I really want to have her in October. We still don't have a name, but that doesn't stress me out too much. I just can't be fully invested in one until she's born and I look at her face. I can't wait to see what she looks like!