Is the Colonel's underwear a matter of national security?

As a young girl, I spent many weekends and school vacations at my Grandma Roma's trailer home in Provo, UT. Sometimes a sibling, cousin or girl friend would come with me, but often it would be just me and Grandma. We would play games, sew, swim, feed ducks at the park close to her home and watch old classic movies together. If we couldn't decide on a movie to watch from her collection, we'd drive to a local movie rental shop and pick out a flick we had never seen before. This particular rental shop was also a pizza place and my Grandma would let me order the pizza just the way I liked it.. with pineapple and green peppers. One particular weekend, when I was about 13 or 14 years old, I ordered the pizza and Grandma picked out a movie that had just been released-- it was called A Few Good Men. I had never heard of the movie before, but Tom Cruise was in it, so I didn't object. I wasn't until we were half-way into the film that I realized the language was terrible. I looked at the back of the box and saw that it was rated R, and I knew my parents wouldn't approve. I sat through the next hour in conflicted. Should I tell my Grandma that she had picked out a "bad" movie and suggest we watch something else? We had already gotten wrapped into the plot and I wanted to see how it ended, but I felt terrible because I knew I shouldn't be watching it. The last scene was particularly uncomfortable for me because they threw around the F-word a handful of times. I remember looking over at my Grandma as soon as it was over, to see if she was as uncomfortable as I was. I'll never forget her smile as she said, "That was a great movie, wasn't it?" I remember laughing and telling her it was pretty intense. I wondered if she knew that a girl like me wasn't used to listening to such vulgarity, but figured her hearing aids weren't turned up and I let it slide. I think of my Grandma EVERY time I see a clip from that film or hear someone quote the famous line, "You can't handle the truth".

Last night (or rather early this morning at 2 AM) my baby was a fussy little thing. My husband was out of town and I decided instead of trying to fight the fussiness, I would get up, turn on the lights and figure out what was wrong with her. I changed her diaper, gave her a warm bath and tried to nurse her back to sleep. But she wasn't having it. She was WIDE awake. Around 3 AM, I turned on the television in my room and flipped the channels to see what was on. A Few Good Men was just starting on TBS or some other channel that edited each of the swear words into silly phrases that didn't match the lips of the actors. I got sucked in and watched the entire movie, commercial breaks and all. I couldn't help but think about my sweet Grandma and all of the time we spent together. I held my wide-eyed baby girl and during the commercial breaks, I told her all about the incredible woman she was named after. It was one of those full-circle moments. Little Roma is two months old today and I still have to pinch myself when I think about how long I've waited for this little girl to join our family. She is the sweetest, most beautiful little baby and I am so grateful she is mine and that I was able to name her after a woman who means so much to me.

This is Roma on Thanksgiving Day. The darling sweater and hat were made by a new (dear) friend.

Thanksgiving 2011

We spent our first Thanksgiving holiday ALONE as a family. It was a complete success. I don't want to brag or anything, but my turkey was unbelievable... it was flavorful and practically fell off the bone. Black Friday shopping (although I was so sad to go alone when all my sisters were shopping together in Utah) was so.much.fun! I literally got EVERYTHING I wanted in about 3 hours. Yes, I was tired the next day, but all my shopping is done. We aren't getting our kids very much this year, but what we did get, they are going to love. Zero video games and zero flat screen tvs. electronics are overrated, in my opinion.

We spent the majority of our weekend playing games, putting up Christmas decorations, eating pie, playing croquet at the park, laughing together, having dance parties, walking the dog, hiking, cooking and praying our hearts out for my sweet little niece, Kennedy.

My amazing brother, Tim, lives in Michigan with his wife and two cute girls. They were visiting my older sister and her family in Atlanta this weekend. On Friday afternoon, three year old Kennedy fell in the backyard pool (the pool was being drained and only had about 2 feet of water). Her mom, who is an example to me in so many ways, knew that something was wrong and went searching for Kennedy. She found her face down in the water. When they pulled her out, she was lifeless and blue-- no breathing, no heartbeat... she was gone. No one knows how long she was in the water. My brother was able to perform CPR on his baby girl and after 4 minutes, she coughed up water. She was life-flighted to the hospital and has been in the NICU ever since. She is now breathing, eating, talking and almost back to her old 3 year old spunky self. This is an absolute miracle. There is no doubt in my mind that prayer works and that God is aware of each of us in our greatest time of need. My faith has been strengthened and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for each of my family members, especially for our sweet little children. Life is so precious.

We are all doing fabulously well. Aaron's new job is great. Roma is chunking up nicely and we are nibbling on her fat rolls. Ben and Luke enjoyed the break from school, but are excited to go back tomorrow. Zack is still a total SPAZ and keeps us in stitches. Simon is giving us a run for our money and probably won't slow down anytime soon. I am feeling incredibly blessed. I have been given so much.

I wish I had more time to blog, but at this stage, it's more important for me to be living life than to be writing about it. Happy Thanksgiving. Love to you all.

career woman

When I was a little girl, I truly believed I was going to change the world. I wanted to become a writer, broadcast journalist and/or politician. The world needed strong, capable women, and I knew I was strong and capable.

Of course, I wanted to be a mother, too. But that would have to come after I had graduated from college and moved into the White House. It wasn't until I had my first baby that I realized that motherhood was my calling. There was nothing more important, more influential than rocking babies to sleep, reading stories and singing lullabies.

My baby girl is 6 weeks old. If I was a career woman, my maternity leave would be over and I would be back at the office. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home-mom. It's difficult and draining at times, but it's my dream job.

This week, Roma started smiling. Her smiles are quick and fleeting and she only offers them up a couple of times per day. But when she smiles, my whole world lights up. It's a better paycheck than anything I could earn outside the home.

My dreams of becoming a best-selling author or first female President have been replaced with smaller, obtainable goals. Today I hope to put away all the clean laundry, make a wholesome dinner for my family and take a shower. These goals may seem simple and pathetic to big-time career women, but I feel content, fulfilled and truly happy.

I will spend the next 20+ years trying to raise a strong, capable and confident little girl because we need more of them. And this is exactly how I can change the world.

mellow monday

our long weekend is over and life with a routine is back in session. Zack and Roma are feeling a bit under the weather and they are sleeping. Simon is busy playing with blocks but 20 minutes ago, he was putting "stickers" on in the bathroom... I ran to the car to get the camera and when I came back, he was at the top of the stairs saying, "cheese!"

Our weekend was a fantastically busy one. Thursday we spent out and about. Friday we stayed indoors. We SOCIALIZED all day! One of the biggest issues with homeschooling is "socialization". It was the topic that everyone asked me about.. But since being in school, I've realized that what my kids miss MOST about being in school is not being able to play with their friends. Yes, they do play at recess and they have PE twice a week, but they don't get to socialize like they used to. Having friends over just doesn't happen anymore. So Friday I told the kids to each pick a friend and we'd have a party. Well, their friends each have siblings and we love them too, so a party of 8 quickly turned into a party of 15. (thankfully not all were on the trampoline at the same time.)

It sounds a lot crazier than it was. The kids played and played and played and I was in the kitchen making bread and soup and goodies. At the end of three hours of play, 8 loaves of banana bread were out of the oven, two big pots of soup were simmering, and the kitchen was spotless.

After lunch, the three oldest boys went to a party with homeschooling friends while Simon, Roma and I took a long nap. Friday night was date night and the kids were THRILLED to go play at another friends house (party, party, party!) while Aaron and I did some early Christmas shopping.

The next day was SOUPER SATURDAY for our Relief Society. Roma and I spent the morning at the church making fun Christmas crafts!!! The event was so organized and fun. I absolutely LOVE the women in my ward. Roma was pretty grumpy (she didn't sleep much the night before) but I was able to get all my projects done because there were so many friends willing to hold my fussy baby. It's so therapeutic for me to be socializing with MY friends and being able to do something creative at the same time. Gurl power!!

When I came home from Super Saturday, Aaron and the boys were rearranging bedrooms. We've been talking about moving Ben and Luke downstairs for a while now (all FOUR boys have been in the same bedroom since the baby was born) but we just haven't had the time to do it. I just LOVE when my big strong boys are able to do all the work for me. Zack and Simon now share a queen bed upstairs and Ben and Luke are downstairs. They are excited about having their own room.

Saturday night Ben and Luke went to a late-night birthday party in Blue Diamond... Aaron and I took the three littles shopping. Everyone would see us with three kids and say, "you have your hands full" or "you finally got your girl" and we would smile thinking they don't even know the half of it. Truth is, we do have our hands full when Ben and Luke aren't with us. They are such big helpers, it's easier having 5 kids than 3. At the end of our date on Saturday night, Roma was partied out. Poor little thing was so congested. She didn't sleep at all that night and every time I fed her, I had to squeegee out her little nose. Zack went to sleep early and woke up Sunday feeling sick too. So we stayed home from church and tried to get better. There are so many germs going around and this time of year is the worst for catching bugs!!

Last night Aaron and I made the final decision to STAY HOME for Thanksgiving... which was not part of the plans. We're super bummed about it and won't know what to do all by ourselves! But after a long successful weekend at home together, I am counting down the days until Thanksgiving break... plans or no plans! Until then I will be concentrating on keeping my kiddies warm, clean and fed. That's not an easy task, but it's not so bad when they're this cute...

6 weeks old

worthwhile.

On Monday, while the baby was asleep, the two little boys and I turned on Christmas music. We danced to our traditional homemade Holiday CD and ended up listening to "the hippopotamus song" over and over and over. A flood of emotions came over me as we danced to this song. Every year, since my boys were babies, we've listened to this same CD. We've made a million memories with this music in the background. We've put together winter puzzles together, had hot chocolate by the fire, decorated the house with garland, cut snowflakes to this very song. If we made a soundtrack for the best moments in our lives, this song would be on it.

It's amazing how music can draw such deep emotions out of you-- feelings you didn't even know where there. I excused myself from the dance floor and went into the bathroom to breathe. I didn't want to start sobbing, but I missed my older boys. We were having a "moment" and they were missing it. How am I going to get through the Christmas season without doing our favorite traditions together? I decided to call my husband because he's my therapist. He always seems to say the right thing... When I got off the phone, I felt so much better. He reminded me that Ben and Luke had Thursday and Friday as vacation days at school. I could get through a couple of days and then we would be together for a looooong weekend. So I planned for the best.weekend.ever.

Yesterday was the first day of our looooong weekend. We woke up to all five kids in our bed. It was heavenly. We stayed in our pajamas until 10 am. We played games, took our time getting ready, laughed at the baby's silly faces, cleaned up a little and then headed out for an adventure. We met Daddy for a lunch date at California Pizza Kitchen. It was crowded with yuppies and we stood out like seven sore thumbs. I could see people counting our kids as we sat down and several asked if they were all ours. Yep. We claim each and every one. We had a great meal together. Simon managed to spill his apple juice with the lid on (?) but that was our only mishap. By the end of the meal, anyone who walked passed complimented us on our well-behaved kids. Even the woman who gave us the stink-eye when we were first seated next to her table. Unfortunately, Daddy had to go back to work after lunch, but we will take what we can get. It was SO nice being out together as a family. We don't get enough of that these days.

After saying goodbye to Dad, the boys and I walked around Town Square. Town Square is a beautiful outdoor mall with a playground in the middle. We spent over 3 hours there, going in and out of shops, eating cream puffs in the courtyard, talking to strangers about our little baby girl, and enjoying the beautiful fall weather. I loved not having anywhere to be! This is what I dearly miss now that my kids are in public school!

We walked back to the car and found that Daddy had left a nice note on the dashboard of our van. He wrote that he loved being out together as a family and that he loved almost everything about me. Ben read it outloud and wanted to know what he doesn't love about me. I explained that it's an inside joke between Daddy and me. When we were "just friends" I told him that I loved almost everything about him and he's never forgotten it. The boys asked more questions about our dating/engagement, which led to stories about when they joined the family. It was such a wonderful drive home. I looked at them through the rear-view mirror of my minivan EVERY seat was full! I love each of these children and I am so grateful they are mine. They are such blessings in my life.

When we got home, we put the babies to sleep and played cards. We made dinner together, walked the dog and got ready for Daddy to come home from work. The first day of "vacation" was a complete success. No homework to do, no one else's agenda to fulfill, no rigid schedule to follow. It was a perfectly beautiful day.

After the kids were tucked snugly in the beds, Aaron and I stayed up late talking. I ended up shedding a few tears, but not out of sadness. If I had it my way, my boys would be homeschooled for always, but I am grateful for the lessons I have learned while they've been "away". I am less likely to take them for granted and more likely to treasure the time I have with my boys who are still at home. And our family time is that much more important and sacred. Saturdays have become THE ONLY day we can be together anymore and we've tried our best not to let anyone or anything split us up. These kids are only going to be here for a short time and we'd better start making the most of it before it's over! The days are very long but the months and years fly by....

I have pictures to add of our adventures together yesterday, but my baby is ready to eat and I must go. Before I do, I wanted to link a video that captures my feelings on the role that we play as mothers and explains them more beautiful than I can do myself. Nadia says on motherhood, "You'll never do anything more worthwhile in your life." I agree with her 110%. Take a minute to watch it HERE.