a modern day Pride and Prejudice story

Most of you have heard this story-- some of you lived through it. Luckily for me, it worked out the way that it did. Aaron is my Mr. Darcy.. or Jim, from The Office. (Take your pick.)

Aaron and I were set up on a blind date two weeks after my 19th birthday. I was young, carefree, and was NOT looking for a serious relationship. Aaron was 21. He was fresh off the plane after 2 years in Spain and ready to kiss/date as many girls as would give him the time of day :) Truth be told, I liked him right away. He was funny, easy-going and charming. We quickly became friends and did more "hanging out" than dating which I liked because it wasn't serious, but I was also frustrated because I wondered if he liked me back..

About a month after our blind date, Aaron and I were coloring at my place. [Why I had crayons and a coloring book in my college apartment is a mystery, but I did and we were.] It was a Friday afternoon and we were on the floor, coloring and chatting. Even though we hadn't been on a second date, I assumed we were sort of a "thing" because we hung out all the time and hello-- who wouldn't like me? Assuming this, I asked a very stupid question. "What are we doing tonight?" He paused and said, "I got tickets to the dance concert." I sat up and was very excited.. telling him that I had been wanting to go, but I wasn't able to get tickets. I was talking fast and didn't really give him a chance to cut in. His face had no expression. I asked him what was wrong. Then he said very quietly, "I actually asked another girl to go."

I tried to act casual about it and take back my excitement, but it was a terribly awkward situation. I stood up, walked into the bathroom and told myself not to cry. It wasn't like we were seriously dating or anything, but I had assumed that he liked me and obviously I was wrong. The girl he asked out was one of my good friends. She lived next door to me and was the flirty, blonde, ditzy type. I liked her a lot, but I knew very well that she was everything I was NOT. I took the hint and pretended it didn't bother me.

Aaron dated my friend for a week or two. Luckily, I was at home visiting my family when they kissed. A few of my roommates called to tell me all the juicy news and I was crushed. A few days after I came back to campus, they broke up. I was glad they did, but knew there wasn't a chance for us--- because all boys KNOW that you don't ask out a girl's friend and still expect to date her.. right? Right. A guy should know a good thing when he sees it!

A year passed. Aaron attempted to make our friendship more than what it was, but I was careful to keep him at a distance. I was prideful and stubborn and I wasn't going to let my guard down. By the end of our first year of college, I knew that he wanted to be more than friends, but I wasn't about to give him a second chance. When the school year was over, we met on campus to say goodbye. I stayed up the night before writing him a cheesy goodbye letter. I was a little embarrassed to give it to him, but surprisingly, he handed me a letter at the same time. Both letters say almost the exact same mushy things, including the big three words "I love you." Of course, we both claimed that the L-word was said in friendly terms, not romantic. But I am the only one who is telling the truth. He was crazy about me.. and I only loved him like a friend :) We talked a lot over the phone that summer.. He came out to Atlanta (where I lived with my sisters.) I could go into more detail, but it's complicated....

The following fall, I started school with a renewed determination to stay far away from boys. I was busy with a million other things and just didn't see the point in dating. Every guy wanted to get serious and I was focused on getting good grades and sending in mission papers. Aaron came up to Rexburg on a block semester with his brother. He was only there for 2 months and I was really looking forward to having him around. By this time, he had become one of my best friends. I felt 100% comfortable around him and knew he liked me for ME. I never cared what I looked like or what I said around him. Whenever I needed someone to vent to (or cry to) I would call him. We had really become close, but had never been on a second date. And that's how I wanted it to stay. If we started dating and then broke up (which would most definitely happen because I wasn't the serious-dating type of girl) then our friendship would be ruined. I wasn't willing to sacrifice it. He meant too much to me.

One late night in October, Aaron stopped by my apartment to talk. I could tell he had something on his mind and asked him what was wrong. He pulled me outside on my porch and laid his heart on the line. It was bold and so very sweet. After he said everything he needed to, I quietly told him that I could never like him more than a friend, no matter what. He walked away and I felt terrible. I knew I had hurt him, but I was confident I had done the right thing. I wasn't leading him on, I wasn't giving him any false hopes and I felt like I was doing him a favor rather than dating and breaking up later. When I ran into his roommate on campus the following week, he told me that Aaron had come home from my house that night, laid on the couch and didn't move for two days.

I looked for him everywhere on campus, but never saw him. I wanted to talk to him, but didn't know what to say. I decided to give him some time. Little did I know that some alone time is exactly what I needed. Almost immediately after "the porch scene" I got deathly ill. (Aaron now claims that I was struck down...) I started sleeping for days at at time.. I couldn't pull myself out of bed for my classes and didn't have the energy to eat or shower, let alone do any school work. When I went home to see my parents, they knew something was terribly wrong and took me to see the doctor. I tested positive for Mononucleosis.

I literally spent the next four months in bed. I was so miserable and so alone. I wasn't awake much, but when I was, I was thinking of Aaron. I wanted to see him and talk to him, but he wasn't around. One day, while coming out of class, I spotted him from across campus. I knew that he saw me, but he was busy talking to another girl. When I got closer, I saw that they were holding hands. I tried to approach them, and at least meet his new girlfriend, but he quickly waved at me and turned the other direction. I was hurt, but felt that he had every right to be cold to me. The following week, he came over to my apartment. I was asleep in my bedroom, but I woke up when I heard his voice. I jumped out of bed and ran out just as he was leaving. He said he was in a hurry and was just dropping off a "get well" card. I asked him if I could walk him to wherever he was going and quickly grabbed my shoes. The walk was refreshing and it was so nice to finally talk to him. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him, but I decided it would only make the situation worse. I gave him a hug and told him to stop by more often. He shrugged his shoulders. Later that night I wrote him a 3-page letter, expressing my frustration with our "situation" but I never had the guts to give it to him.

That was the only time I saw him. The last night of the semester, my roommates and I threw a party. We invited him and his friends and he said he would stop by to say goodbye. He was going off to BYU (4 hours away) and I knew it would be the last time I saw him. I was anxious all night, but he never came. It was getting late and I was so disappointed. Finally, my favorite roommate, Val, pulled me in the back room and said she was going to call him. I listened on the other line, but didn't say a word. He answered the phone and it sounded like he was a having a party of his own. Val scolded him for not coming over. He appologized and said that he had forgotten about it. She knew he was lying and asked again why he didn't come. He took a deep breath and said, "I can't be around her, Val. It hurts too much." I didn't get to say goodbye, but he sent me a very thoughtful Christmas card. This time when he wrote, "I love you" I knew he meant it.

I slept through Christmas break. Aaron spent the holidays in Vegas with his family. His parents and sisters didn't like me-- because they felt like he was holding onto a hopeless romance. But his awesome-rocker-brother-in-law, Kirk, wanted to hear all about me. After Aaron poured his heart out, Kirk talked him into giving it another shot. He told him, "If you think this girl is worth it, you need to do whatever it takes to get her." Aaron was encouraged and on January 4, 2000 he sent me the nicest, most romantic email I have ever received. He listed all the little things he loved about me and practically told me to get off my high horse and give him a second chance.

I read "The Email" in a busy computer lab on campus. It made me laugh out loud, but I was also really embarrassed because after I was finished reading it, I was sobbing. I printed it out and read it all the way home. I emailed him back that night. I told him that I was not the same girl who turned him down so many times before. I missed him and wanted to be with him. Mono had not only made me really humble, but it stripped away everything that I thought was important and made me realize what mattered.

We became unofficially engaged on our second date. We were married a few months later. And the rest is....... history. Our marriage has been nothing but wonderful. We've struggled through long years of school, lived off the saddest paycheck you've ever seen, all while gladly welcoming three boys into our family. It hasn't been easy, but I have always felt grateful to experience it with such a great guy. Aaron knows me so well and is never afraid to tell me like it is. He is kind, considerate and makes me laugh everyday. And even though I still drive him crazy with my rollercoaster personality-- I make sure to remind him that he KNEW what I was like before he married me. Luckily for me, he's chosen to stick around!