Santa Baby

For the last couple of weeks, our ward has been announcing that a "special guest" will be attending the ward party. Last night we went, only to realize that Jeff McLean (Michael's son..) was the big guest. When he came out singing a song from The Forgotten Carols everyone was pleasantly surprised. Everyone except for my kids, that is. Ben said, "THAT is the Special Guest?" Apparently they were expecting someone else and got their hopes up. In the middle of the first number, Luke turns to me and says, "Man, this song is really, really long." And that was our night in a nutshell.

I was actually relieved that Santa didn't show...(not that I didn't want to sit on his lap and tell him what is on my Christmas list) but every year we have "issues" with Santa. Ben is just too logical to believe that Santa can really do ALL that he claims to do. Aaron and I thought we were going to DIE when Ben (at age three) wanted to know exactly how it all happens. I got so sick of explaining... finally, I resorted to a simple answer that seemed to stop his questions:

"It's just magic! Santa is MAGIC!"

This photo was taken in 2004. I love Santa's tights and rosy cheeks. And that's his REAL beard. Aren't they all so cute? Surprisingly, this picture turned out fantastic. Luke had thrown up 3 times earlier that day.. what a trooper!

Ben was 3.5 and Luke wasn't yet 2. It was a stressful Christmas for me as a mom because Ben REALLY wanted to know if Santa was legit. I had to look him in the face, point blank, and lie to him.. more than once. He didn't understand why all the malls had different looking Santas or how Santa knew where we were sleeping on Christmas Eve, when we weren't at home. A couple of times, I was about to tell him the truth, but I couldn't get it out. I want him to be able to experience the joys of Christmas and just be a kid! I thought for sure THIS would be the year, but The Polar Express came to save the day! Ever since we read the book (and since bought the movie) Ben doesn't question.. he just BELIEVES! For the first time EVER, he is truly excited for Santa to come to our house.. and for the first time ever, we will be at our own place on Christmas morning.

Recently, while playing with older kids at a playground, I overheard them talking about Santa. I was about to go over and distract my kids, when I saw Ben walk away, close his eyes and say, "I Believe! I Believe!" It was SO cute, but it also broke my heart because one day (probably sooner than later) he's going to realize that I have been lying to him all along. I'm sure he will forgive me, but I have totally hammed it up. I just hope that they will still trust me and know that what I am doing is for their own good. Ben has just grown up too fast. He's so hard on himself and he's always filing rules in his brain, making sure he doesn't break any.. (just like his Daddy.) I just want him to relax and be a kid, for once!

On the way home from the park, Ben and Luke were discussing Santa in the back of the van. Ben was explaining to Luke that every child should only ask for ONE toy each. I thought it was really interesting that he would say this. When Luke asked why, Ben said, "Can you imagine how much heavier his sleigh would be when ALL the kids in the whole world want more than one toy?" Luke just said something like "oh" and left it at that. Even when it's MAGIC, Ben has to make it practical. And I am not about to tell him otherwise, because hey-- I only need to get one toy for each of them. But this seemed to complicate things when a few days later, Ben decided that he wanted to change the toy he had already written to Santa about. He wasn't sure how to address the new letter because he needed to apologize for making the switch. I just let him do whatever he thought was best and told him that Santa would understand. I think Santa might even bring both-- just because he was so thoughtful (and stressed out about it!)

Luke is still oblivious to everything.. I wouldn't be surprised if he turns 20 before he realizes that Santa is a phony. Today Aaron and I took the boys out separately, so we could shop for each other and still keep our gifts somewhat secret. I ended up buying the toy that Luke asked for, even though he was standing right next to me. I wondered if he would recognize what was going on.. but like usual, his mind was off in never-never land. We even wrapped our presents before Aaron, Ben and Zack got home.. and he paid no attention. I love Luke and his gullible, animated spirit. And I love Ben for being so darn sensible and mature. Isn't crazy how our kids are such individuals? I don't know if I could have three children any more different from each other.. both in appearance as well as personalities. But I am so grateful they are mine! I think the joys of parenting are magnified for me during each holiday. I don't want or need to ask Santa for anything other than what I have already been given. I truly have a wonderful life!



ps. I just realized that last year's Santa post is also entitled "Santa Baby." I obviously have a one-track mind.