not this cute anymore!How I wish this story was fabricated.. I wish it was made up and written only to entertain my blog readers. But, to my disgrace... it is an actual account of what happened. It is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the shameful truth. And I dedicate it to all those LESS-than-perfect-parents out there.. I'm sure there's one or two of you....
My visit to Utah was (as usual) CRAZY. I really do love going to see my family, but I don't know why I think it will be fun when my husband doesn't join me. I guess I am just not as young as I used to be!! Zack really struggled.. not only because he was sleep deprived and sick (yes, we deal with all kinds of throw up when we travel) but he completely lost all his his potty-trained skillz. He had to wear a diaper and he hated it... especially after he got a bad rash! But so is the life when traveling with a toddler. To top things off, I thought I would complicate the trip by trying to squeeze in couple of visits with an alternative doctor (electronic acupuncture that doesn't hurt.. more details on that later) AND... (yes, I said AND) work on a project for my in-laws 35th wedding anniversary. When I finished it (much later than expected) I rushed to the post office.. even though it was already late. I loaded up all three kids, stopped off at Article Circle for ice cream cones and called my husband for the mailing address. And because my kids were exhausted, on the short 6 mile drive to the post office, Luke fell asleep. Zack was following suit with his ice cream in hand, eyes closed and tongue out. I was still on the phone with Aaron when I asked him if he would hate me if I left the kids in the car and quickly ran in to mail the present. Aaron said he didn't think it was a big deal.. and to be honest... he was 400 miles away and although I appreciated his support in breaking the law, I was going to do it anyway. Because WHO in their RIGHT MIND wants to lug three sleepy, sticky boys into a post office to mail a little tiny envelope? Oh, no---not me.
I parked the car right in front of the post office, cranked the air conditioner, locked the doors with the car running (with an extra set of keys) and told Ben to give Zack his ice cream if he woke up. I ran into the post office and felt lucky to be the only person in line. I paid the postage, and ran back out to my parking space.. only to find that my van was NOT PARKED where I left it. My car and my kids were gone! There were several cars in the parking lot, both parked and driving around a gold mini van awkwardly in everyone's way. I couldn't understand WHY the driver of the van was parked in the MIDDLE of the parking lot. And then I recognized the driver.. His albino-white head was barely poking over the steering wheel. He was probably 30 pounds, baby-blue eyes, about age TWO. Yes... that was MY 2 year old driving MY van. In a matter of five minutes (tops) he had woken up, unbuckled himself from his car seat, crawled up to the drivers seat, reversed the car and let it coast down the parking lot until it hit a CURB. For your convience, I whipped up a quick diagram of the parking lot and what actually happened. (Don't worry.. it didn't take long-- just long enough to allow Zack to pour his second bowl of cereal.. no biggie.)
I ran over to the van while apologizing to all the cars around me. I unlocked the door, grabbed Zack and threw him in the back seat. He was laughing and Ben was yelling, "Mom, Zack drove the car! Zack drove the car!" I was shaking and quickly called Aaron to tell him the exciting news. He was thrilled.. But hey-- he TOLD me to do it!As I was pulling out of the post office, a police officer was pulling in. I have no idea if someone called the COPS or if he randomly needed to mail something the same time I was breaking the law... but I barely escaped! All I could feel was complete gratitude that #1) my kids weren't hurt #2) I didn't go to jail #3) There WASN'T a line inside the post office that day #4) Zack didn't hit another car- or a person... can you imagine the guilt HE would feel, knowing that he hurt someone else at such a young age?? Such shame! In all seriousness-- I know that we were all VERY blessed. As crazy as it was, it could have been SO much worse and I am truly grateful for a freebie.. My kids are the most important things to me and it IS worth taking every precaution to keep them safe.
Please don't turn me into Child Protective Services. I promise, I learned my lesson.. just pray that I never forget it! The streets are NOT safe with Moms like me!
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33 comments:
This is one of those stories that'll make it in your top ten list, for sure. Hilarious! This could only happen to you. Moira was on my lap as I read this saying, "It funny, Mom?" YES, FUNNY!
And I'm glad everyone is okay!
I can't imagine the PANIC you felt when you first stepped out of the post office and saw what had happened. Wow, what a crazy incident! You should be grateful you're not in jail. I have a close friend who was arrested and taken to jail for leaving a kid in a parked (AC running) car for a few minutes! But this will be a real fun story in a few years when he actually is old enough to drive!
I feel for you. I can't imagine how scared you must have been. But the whole time I was reading that, I couldn't help thinking that I wished you had your camera. What kind of person does that make me?
Oh, I had my camera all right.. but I am NOT A CRAZY BLOGGER who hangs around the scene of the crime to take pictures. Seriously.. if I was that crazy, my next post would be my mug shot and picture of me behind bars.
HILARIOUS.. but not really. You are SO talented and can take a story and make it into entertainment! Love it! So glad you are all safe!
I don't know if my car can go in reverse without pushing on the brake first.. hmm...
So glad everyone came away unscathed! Your candor is inspiring.
Becky- Not all of us drive brand new cars, okay? My van doesn't have a GPS system or cameras for my rear view mirror. It was built before 2000 (by several years) and DOES happen to go in reverse without touching the break. geez.
In fact, Aaron and I went back to the post office to test it out. I was actually parked on a downhill slope and wasn't sure HOW it reversed so far. Aaron said we couldn't return to the scene of the crime, but I just HAD to see how it happened. We parked, popped it into reverse and sure enough, it went up the slope fast enough to go over the curb. Crazy!
Holy crap! That SO sounds like something that could totally happen to me. I'm always pulling little stunts like that thinking, "Oh, the kids will be fine for 2 minutes" only to be panicing the entire time I'm gone, come back to the car shaking and saying prayers of gratitude that nothing happened, swearing I'll never do it again, and doing something exactly like it 2 weeks later. I'm glad I'm not the only one, and glad yours taught me that I won't be doing anything like that again (for at least the next two weeks anyway).
So FREAKING S-C-A-R-Y!
Holy cow that is hilarious and freaky! I always leave Alpine in the car at the post office when I run in to drop off mail (same thing - car running, locked with my extra keys). I'm usually only in there about a minute - apparently not enough time for him to go for a joyride on his own. I better keep an eye on him next time. And keep him away from your hoodlum son. :)
Oh my gosh Janet!! That is crazy. You are blessed that could have been so much worse. I did that once when I was little in our driveway. My Mom said not to pull on the gear shift why she ran inside and of course I did. I ended up in my neighbors yard but a busy post office parking lot. You guys are so lucky. You are not a bad mother I've left my kids in the car multiple times. I figure it's okay if the door is locked but I usually take my keys but in the heat... you can't do that. Wow! I'm glad you are all safe. Good story though.
That is funny. And I'm also glad no one was hurt. Hey, every family has a story with a toddler driving.
I'm so sorry! That is seriously freaky. I feel like my oldest are now old enough to stay in the car with my little ones for a few minutes without it being illegal (they will be ten next month), but now that it's getting hot, that's not even an option. About two more years and I can leave them all at home while I run an errand.
That's nuts!! I have left my kids in the car, but luckily none of them tried to drive it. I don't leave them in there anymore after hearing about a carjacker that took a womans car while she was at a gas station and the kids were in it. He didn't get far, but still I don't want to take that risk.
Glad to here the kiddos are okay. Looks like the post office needs to invent drive thru windows for us busy moms.
Janet,
i am glad to see that you are just like the rest of us. I love the way you tell a story, i wish i had that ability. It sounds so comical now, but I am sure It wasn't at the time. When your boys grow up, they are going to have some fantastic stories to tell.
LOVE YOU!
*calling DCFS*
So glad everything was okay!! That is a "CPS Moment" to remember. Honestly, though, i can't count the number of times my Mom left me and my 4 siblings in a hot station wagon so she could "just run into Mervyn's for a few minutes" (more like an hour). I'm surprised we all survived unscathed!!
Rest assured that your 2 year old is not the only villain behind the wheel. My husband (also 2 years old) backed their car out of a driveway, with the door still open...needless to say, they had a puke green car with a new pooh brown door from then on!
This. can. not. be. real!
Janet, I won't tell Christian about this story since he works for DFCS!!!! Don't worry he won't turn you in. Atleast we live in a totally different state and across the country so he doesn't have to feel so guilty about leaving such a CRAZY mom on the loose. Seriously, I cannot believe that this happened, but I am so glad that no one got hurt. You are such a great story teller.
I know I should have been mortified by this story, but I was laughing the whole time I read it I almost peed. I canNOT believe little Zacky can actually do all of that! If he's already pulled a stunt like this, I'm scared for you for the next several years!
There should be some sort of child patrol/guard in parking lots so moms can run inside for 2 bitty minutes without taking 5 times as long just to get their kids in and out of the car and store, especially in family-friendly states (umm, Utah?).
I'm with Natalie- I couldn't stop laughing! (Probably b/c I knew it had a happy ending since you were blogging about it.)
Though nerve-wrecking, I couldn't help but laugh when I visualized you driving off and probably weak in the knees...and Ben informing you that "Zack drove the car"...just incase you hadn't noticed. Glad everyone's okay.
This is seriously my nightmare- I am anal about not leaving Alec anywhere near the car and the keys alone. He takes after his dad in almost every way... and his dad ran his mom's car into their garage not once, not twice, but three different times before he was 6yrs old. SCARY!
Glad your boys are ok. I can't even imagine the panic you felt when you couldn't see your van.
that's crazy... and he's only 2! isn't it scary to think of what these little ones will do as teenagers... yikes, i'm scared! just don't let my kids know that i used to skydive, cliff jump, ride on top of driving cars, and other various "life-threatening" activities!
There have been two times in the past few months that I've let Rebecca get in the car in the garage before we leave, and I have turned it on for her so that she doesn't get too hot. As I had gone back into the house both times to get the baby, I felt a panic that she would find a way to put the car into gear. Luckily she can't undo her seatbelt, so I quickly ran back both times to strap her in before some damage was done. I CANNOT believe this actually happeeded to you. I don't think I will even let her get into the running car without me anymore, seatbelt or not.
This is great. Funny. Do you really carry 2 sets of keys? I'm thinking you do this alot...
I won't call, since Val already did, and because bad Moms always protect other Bad moms....so, you have my protection. I would have left them in a hot car though...
So, good to see you for a few minutes while you were here. Your kids are cute and you look great. That's another one down for me so I can skip on the reunion! Thanks!
Can I just say...HOLY CRAP! Jan, I know your kids are really advanced for their age, but driving at age 2...now that's just ridiculous! I'm so glad that they were all alright!
Janet-
Holy Cow! How scary! One time I left my kids in the car for 2 minutes while I ran in the Silver State Schools Credit Union by Von's. I parked right in front of the Window so I could see everything, left the car running, the doors locked and the kids were watching a movie. I walked in and no more than one minute after I got in there some guy came in and asked if the kids in the car were mine. I said yes, and he said that he was an off duty cop and that I could either go get my kids out of the car or he would. This was also in the winter time, it wasn't even warm outside. That guy was so dang rude though, it really ticked me off. It is just so hard to hawl them all in sometimes when it will take you longer to get them out of the car than it will to do what you need to do. So, anyways needless to say I learned my lesson and do not leave them in the car at all anymore even if it is for just 2 minutes. I guess we have all done it! Glad everything turned out okay. :)
Holy. Crap. I was going to say, "Who does that?", but after reading the comments, it seems like a LOT of people do. I never would have guessed. Holy. Crap. Glad everyone's okay!
P.S. "Mom, Zack drove the car!" hilarious!
Wendy- when you ask "Who does that?" were you referring to moms who leave their kids in the car or two year olds who drive?
If you were referring to moms, it's probably because you only have one.. talk to me when you're on "vacation" and you have three :)
Okay "crap" is a naughty word in our house but there are times when I feel obligated to whip it out---HOLY CRAP JANET!! Count your many blessings - name them one by one. I think that little "freebie" used up like 37 of your "blessings from heaven" all at once so you better start earning some extra brownie points from above to make up the difference! That story will be repeated at your reunions when you are a great great grandma!
Nat
Oh man. This story will be in my head when I'm thinking I want to leave my kids for just a SECOND to do something super quick. 'Cause I'll imagine one of my kids driving off with our car and I'll drag them inside instead! Thanks for the warning. I'm officially paranoid. :)
And good thing that cop didn't catch you! Phew.
Oh, one more thing. Tell that little stinker of yours if he can drive a car, he can wear big boy underwear. :)
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