Because I have been given much

I spent the early morning hours reading a blog of a mother in Las Vegas who is grieving the death of her 14 month old daughter, Camille. She drowned two weeks ago in the family's hot tub (one they had for only 5 days!) Her blog is very open, raw and heartbreaking. I cried this morning as I read of her struggles, saw pictures of her beautiful girls and tried to understand how hard it would be to GO ON after such a tragedy.. Somehow she is doing it (day by day) and even though she's aching, she is able to share peace, hope and truth with the internet world. My love and prayers go out to Stephanie, Jon and their family. If you want to read more (get a box of Kleenex) their blog address is www.adailyscoop.blogspot.com We can ALL learn from her example and be inspired by her strength during this heartbreaking experience.

The first thing Ben did when he woke up this morning was run around the house to change the calendars. Time is flying by and I can't believe that in a few days I will have a seven year old. How did this happen? Have I really enjoyed this time when my boys are young or do I spend most of my day wishing I had more time to myself, feeling bad that I don't have a little girl, or hoping to lose the 10 pounds I've recently gained? Before I know it, my kids will be grown and out of the house and I will be wishing I had this time in my life back.. THIS time- when showering is a privilege, toilet cleaning is a must, and stepping on Transformers in the middle of the night is normal.

Even though I love my children more than anything, I find myself getting frustrated with the day to day stuff. Zack is back to square one potty-training and I am trying not to pull my hair out! After reading Stephanie's blog which is so poignant and touching, I realized that nothing in my life is really important, except for PEOPLE- and my children are at the top of that list. I am willing to steam clean my carpets every week or do a million loads of laundry in order for my family to feel loved, cherished and safe. All of the sudden, everyTHING seems less important and everything I do and say is much more significant and real.

In July's Ensign (a monthly magazine done by the Mormon Church) Elder Ballard, one of the Twelve Apostles, writes an article entitled Sharing the Gospel Using the Internet. I read this talk this morning and felt guilty for not making my Church and my testimony a bigger part of my blog. I realize that many who read this are not members of my faith, and I put little effort into sharing what I know to be true. It's such a HUGE part of my life that sometimes I take the knowledge that I have- and the peace that knowledge gives me- for granted. Today I feel as though I have been given a gift (or tender mercy) to see things in a different light.. what a difference it has made in my ordinary, day-to-day life!

I know that God lives and that He watches over me. He IS aware of us and knows us personally. He wants us to be happy and to find peace in our chaotic lives. I hope that I can strive to be more worthy of His blessings.. because they come daily.. even hourly. How grateful I am to have this knowledge in my life and have the capacity to share it with others. May we all count our blessings and be grateful for ALL that we have been given.