everything's relative

The other day, Ben was flipping through a few pictures on our screensaver. He came across these and said, "Whoa. Was this before I was born?"


I was offended and snapped, "No! Those were taken about a year and a half ago."

He paused for a minute and said, "well your face was REALLY skinny back then." I smiled and held my tongue instead of saying-- what about my waist? And whose boobs are those? because they are 1/8 the size of mine.

It's funny because I remember playing around on the trampoline that night. Luke was taking most of the shots and we were all being silly. I never intended on showing them to anyone because the last thing I felt was attractive. Now, I would kill to fit in those jeans.. or that bra size. Isn't it amazing how relative everything is? Why is it that we never feel cute until we get uglier and then look back at pictures and realize that we used to be gorgeous? Women.. we are so hard on ourselves sometimes.

This is what I currently look like... The pictures were taken last night before bedtime. My face is a BIG, round marshmallow. I have to keep the kids from squishing it. The last few times I've looked in the mirror, I've thought... "who are you and where is my real body??" But I know it's in there-- somewhere-- under several layers of chubs.


The reason I took these pictures in the first place was to see if you could tell a difference in my eye makeup. Can you? A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned that I switched mascaras, but I didn't realize it would cause such an uproar. Okay, not that big of a deal, but I didn't expect to get ten or so emails on the subject. So, let's discuss.

For the last 15 years, I have been using Voluminous by L'Oreal. I haven't dared switch because it has always been good to me. But then I heard several people talk about CoverGirl's Lashblast. So I bought some and I am converted. I've tried to use Voluminous since then and it doesn't do justice after the kind of volume Lashblast brings. I am telling you, everything's relative. So-- yesterday-- I put one on each eye to see if you can tell the difference. The pictures probably aren't as good as in person, but here's a close up. Can't you see that one is much more full than the other? I am testifying to you, people.. I have officially switched.


You have to know that I am not a makeup expert in any way, shape or form. My face is lucky to get done up 1-2 times a week. But I do know a good mascara when I come across it. Just trying to spread the love.

And if this post couldn't get any more random... I was just reminded of a story that I'm sure isn't written down anywhere. I remember a day back in high school. It was my senior year and I was in charge of an assembly. I was rushing around and quickly grabbed another officer (Jared Bowcutt, if you want names) to talk to him about the things that needed to get done before the assembly started. As I was talking, I could tell he wasn't listening to a word I was saying. His face was so confused and he seriously couldn't concentrate. I stopped mid-sentence and said, "WHAT IS WRONG?" He looked a bit disgusted and said, "One of your eyes has waaaayyy longer eyelashes than the other." I took a minute and looked in the mirror. Sure enough, I had applied mascara to only one eye. Totally typical of me. I kid you not when I say I put mascara on while I drove to school every morning. If I didn't get around to it on the drive to school, I would do my makeup during first period. Who has time to sit in front of the mirror, anyway?

Okay, that's all for now. Random, I know. Just remember that if you feel chubby or ugly NOW, there will be a time in your life that you will look even UGLIER and CHUBBIER-- and you will say, "Why was I so hard on myself? I was a hottie." Today, I am going to remind myself that I am good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it-- I'm gorgeous. At least comparatively.