smart. nice. athletic.

This is one of Ben's poetry assignments from school. I thought I would scan it in before it gets torn and/or thrown away.

The school transition has been relatively smooth. Besides my one cry-fest a few weeks ago, I have been doing quite well. There have been zero complaints from the boys, which is not surprising considering how easy-going they both are. Last week, they went to a friends house and took pajamas just in case I had the baby overnight. Ben wanted to bring a change of clothes to go to school the next morning. When I told him if the baby comes, they could stay home from school he said, "Oh. Well, I could stay home, or I could go. Just let me know."

life is a toilet bowl full of candles...

I caught a bad flu bug yesterday. or at least it feels like the flu. honestly, I don't know what's going on with myself these days. I think it's typical for me to have contractions for a while before the baby arrives. So this "flu" could be my body reacting to the pre-labor... I dunno. What I do know is that I am feeling really sick and that I have spent a lot of time at the toilet. So not fun.

To make matters even less fun, after flushing the toilet in my master bathroom yesterday, I noticed something was stuck down inside. Turns out five or six little somethings were stuck.. I received a bunch of little white candles for my birthday. I was hoping to light them for a nice bubble bath, but Simon got to them first. He had to climb the bathtub ledge to reach them, but don't put anything past this kid. Anyway, I fished everything out- or so I thought- and went about the day.

I was feeling so sick around 7 PM, so we moved FHE up to our bed because according to Ben, "If it's not the whole family then it's only Home Evening." Whatever you say, kid. After about ten minutes, I kicked everyone out of my room and fell asleep. At 10 PM, after the kids were in bed, I woke up and rushed to the toilet in my room, but there was no water in the bowl. I flushed it and watched the water gurgle slowly down. I tried reaching inside, but couldn't feel anything. Great. There's nothing like being sick AND having a broken toilet. I told Aaron about the candle incident, he groaned, and then I went quietly into the boy's bedroom to use their toilet. Apparently I wasn't quiet enough because Sy-Guy got out of bed and joined me in the bathroom... I want so badly to get mad at him, but I can't because he is unbelievably cute. especially with groggy sleepy eyes. I told him to go and find Daddy.

He found Daddy. Daddy was out of bed and working on a "project". When I came back into our room, I found the two of them like so:

My husband, who is the furthest thing from a plumber, literally ripped our toilet out of the bathroom and was fixing it... ? When I saw them, I busted out laughing. Aaron figured if it was broken and we had to call a plumber anyway, he might as well play around with it first. Within a few minutes, he found the lost candle and had the toilet back in it's original spot. I was completely entertained/amused/impressed by the whole scenario. Aaron came out of the bathroom and said, "Why don't you take it for a test drive, honey." When I told him it was in perfect working condition, he said he might switch occupations. Plumbers bill at a higher price than attorneys nowadays.

Simon was completely enthralled with helping Daddy with the toilet.. until he realized that 5 rolls of toilet paper were in the sink. While Dad was putting the toilet back in it's spot (and I was laying down) Simon got a stool and turned on the water. When Dad came out to see him with 5 sopping wet rolls of toilet paper, he swatted his behind and sent him to bed with me. Simon was SO upset. He gets scolded by Mom all day long, but Dad is his best friend and never gets mad at him. As he laid on my pillow, he said over and over in between sobs, "Daddy mad. Daddy mad." Eventually he closed his sleepy eyes. Earlier I had put in CD to help me relax... and at the perfect time, Mindy Gledhill's Hourglass came on. I was holding my darling little baby, who will only be my baby for a handful of days. He's growing up so fast and I wish he wouldn't! It was such a perfect little moment.. One of those "coincindences" that make you grateful and sappy and filled with nothing but goodness. Are you familiar with the song? turn on your speakers and have a listen.. the lyrics are below as well.

Little boy, when you speak
I can't help but kiss your cheeks
I love the way you grab my hands
And tell me all about your plans

Rocket high, comets fly
You and I could hitch a ride
And fly away to Neverland
And give our best to Peter Pan

When you reach for the stars
Don't forget who you are
And please don't turn around and grow up way too fast
See the sand in my grasp
From the first to the last
Every grain becomes a memory of the past
Oh, life's an hourglass
Life's an hourglass

Stories read, prayer is said
Close your eyes sleepyhead
While angels linger in your dreams
And hold you in their feathered wings
Just like you, I was small
Not that long ago at all
I wish you all the happiness
That God gives freely if you ask

When you reach for the stars
Don't forget who you are
And please don't turn around and grow up way too fast
See the sand in my grasp
From the first to the last
Every grain becomes a memory of the past
Oh, life's an hourglass
Life's an hourglass

Isn't it a beautiful song? It perfectly sums up my feelings on motherhood and could easily be dedicated to each of our children. Life is hard. Some days you have to fish for things flushed down the toilet.. but each of these moments are fleeting and become memories to add to our book. As frustrating as it can be at times, it's SO WORTH it. They are so worth it.

*behind Simon in this picture is my shoe rack. He is obsessed with this contraption and makes a mess of my shoes almost every day. He has toothpaste all over his face, which is also very typical.

**in the toilet bowl picture, you can see my new black bathroom cabinets.. Did you know I spray painted them? They look awesome, if I do say so myself. I should post a picture of my "new" bathroom. Maybe if I am feeling better tomorrow....

32 gifts

Have you ever had someone come to your home and say, "Give me a list of EVERY project you want accomplished.. big or small.. and I will do it for you." ??? Well, I just experienced that, folks. I literally had my own personal Genie at my side for five whole days. Only, I got more than three wishes. and it was heavenly.

My sister flew out this morning. She went back to her husband and seven kids. I know it was such a sacrifice for her to spend almost a week with me.. not only for her, but for the family she left behind. But we had SUCH a great time together. We thought the baby might make her appearance while she was visiting, but honestly I am so thankful to still be pregnant. The longer I cook her, the healthier she will be. And had she arrived sometime during the trip, my sister and I wouldn't have been able to do ALL that we did. My closets and cupboards are organized. My halloween costumes are in the works. Curtains are hung everywhere. My freezer or fridge cannot hold an ounce more of food... we've got dinners prepared, frozen cookie dough to bake, and everything else in between. She did everything except write my baby shower thank you notes for me. Now I need to add her to the list of people to THANK. How do you repay someone who serves you in such a way? The wonderful thing about sisters is that you don't have to.

I planned on writing a post about a project I took on last month, inspired by a book called 29 Gifts by Cami Walker. I picked up this book sometime in July. I read it and although I didn't care much for the author's style, I really loved the idea of picking one person to serve each day for a consecutive amount of time. I decided to start 32 days before my birthday and give away a gift each day for 32 days. Most of my gifts were ones that couldn't be wrapped up and tied with a bow, but I accomplished my goal and feel so wonderful about the experiences I've had the past month. I hope to pull out my notebook soon and write about some of the things I learned, but the kids are awake and we have a full week ahead of us, so I must keep it short. All I wanted to say today is that over the past month, while I have been trying to focus on serving others, I have been completely OVERWHELMED by the amount of service that has been given on my behalf. The minute I did something small for another person, I would be served by someone else in a much greater capacity. I had way too many coincidences to know they weren't coincidences at all. I have so much gratitude in my heart this morning. I feel so blessed to know the people I do and to run into perfect strangers who are like me in so many ways. All we need is love. Love is all we need... more to come on this subject later.

Happy new week. Can you believe October is just around the corner?????

32 years old

it was a good day, as expected. I spent the morning at home depot and sams club with my sister. we came home to a delish breakfast made by my husband and boys. I took a loooong nap. we went out to lunch as a family. we organized our garage. Lori made me a yummy chocolate buttermilk birthday cake. I opened up homemade presents, which are my favorite. I also got a new mop! and I am about to have a baby girl soon. I'm a very lucky 32 year old.

I should scan in my paper gifts, but I'm not gonna. I received a list of 32 reasons why Ben loves me. Zack made me a matching game with shapes drawn on construction paper. Luke taped together a flower for me with the center saying, "I love you cuz you smell good." Simon screamed "HAPPY BURPDAY" every time I entered the room. Aaron cleaned, wrapped presents with the kids, paid for us to eat at a restaurant and looked handsome all day. I couldn't be more blessed. My sister has been A-MAZ-ING. She has spent the last few days hanging curtains, painting, putting knobs on all my cabinets, scrubbing my floors, coloring my hair, staying up late with me while I was having contractions, programming our computers and making at least 25 meals for our freezer. Having her here has been the best birthday present I could have asked for.

The nursery is done. Here are a few pictures.... definitely not the best lighting, but I still don't know how to work my nice camera. I can't believe I have a purple room in my house.

the pictures in the frames will definitely be replaced...

I will probably put her name above the crib, when I know what it is.

And below is me... 37 weeks pregnant. Baby girl is kickin' it and sometimes she tricks me into thinking she's coming. I am wearing my new birthday shirt that is too small for me. Each of my boys wrote me a personal message with fabric markers. Zack's says, "I love you." SyGuy scribbled and got help signing his name from Daddy. Luke wrote "You make awesome pizza." Ben wrote, "You make good tacos" and Aaron gave me a nickname on the back.. "hot mama" I will treasure this for always and hopefully fit into it a little better in a month or so.

Here is a picture Ben took of me with my phone. Not that the signatures are any easier to read without the reflection in the mirror....

Thanks for the birthday messages. I love you all the mostest.

baby shower book

I am not including the handwritten pages of this book, only because they aren't digitized.. This was a gift given to me at a baby shower and it is the sweetest thing ever. It was bound in a book with blank pages for everyone who attended to sign as well. If any of you are wondering what to give for a baby or bridal shower - or any kind of birthday gift - this is a fabulous idea. I hope I get a chance to thank each of you individually for participating and for putting it together, but until then, please know that your words made me cry and I will be hanging onto ALL of the advice. I know I'm gonna need it.

I have seriously felt so spoiled.. The nursery is finally finished and I have been a little overwhelmed putting away all the gifts I have received so far. Not to mention, my birthday is just a few days away. The best presents - so far - are the professional house cleaners that Aaron scheduled AND even better, my oldest sister is flying in TOMORROW to spend four days with me.... if you know anything about my amazing sis, Lori, you know that we are going to sew, paint, and cook 24/7. I can't wait to check everything off my to-do list. Oh baby, we are going to be ready for this baby....

smells like flowers

it's been an uneventful Monday. I honestly can't even tell you what I did today... not one thing productive. We ended up having french toast and OJ for dinner because I just couldn't seem to plan or execute anything.

Actually, I did wash sheets... but only because I absolutely had to. Zack brought a drink to story time on my bed and spilled. We all got wet and not only had to change the sheets but all of the clothes we were wearing.

Simon went through at least 5 outfits today. He got into some craft paint in the laundry room, which was a big mess, but not as hard to clean up as it looked. I must have some experience in this area. After his first bath, he found a new bottle of lotion (a yummy kind I got from my baby shower this past weekend.) He coated his entire body with this lotion. And when I say entire body, I mean, he took off his diaper and drenched each and every body part. By the time I found him, the damage was done... half of my new lotion was out of the bottle. But he sure did smell good! In fact, Zack was so enthusiastic about how yummy he smelled and kept saying, "Oh boy! You really smell like flowers!!" Just as I was about to put on a clean diaper, Zack had to make sure Simon knew that ALL of his body parts smelled good and exclaimed, "Simon, even your wienie smells like flowers!" That made Simon pretty happy... and I couldn't help but laugh myself. I figured I should type it up and add it to the list of "wiener" blog entries we have in the archives.

And that, my friends, was the most exciting thing that happened at our house today. Here's to hoping we have a more productive day tomorrow... and that we smell like flowers while getting it all done!

Autumn is almost here!

I am feeling rather content and happy tonight and wanted to document the weekend. However, I don't have any pictures to show for it and that's very disappointing... I guess it's better to write something without the visuals than forget about it all together.

There is a lot of positive to say about the school transition for the older boys, but one thing I've noticed is that our weekends are so much more appreciated. Friday and Saturday are full on parties compared to the weeknights. We spent lots of quality time together as a family.. it honestly doesn't really matter to me what we do-- it just makes it that much better when we're all doing it together.

We got a few projects done on the house. The nursery is still a disaster and needs to be put back together asap. We had an awesome homeschooling book club (that I still consider myself a proud member of.) I cut each of the boys hair, we went swimming and BBQ'd with friends, watched a disappointing football game, played cards and made lots of yummy food. In fact, we made so many homemade meals that our freezer in the garage is almost full. It's my goal to have at least a months worth of go-to dinners before the baby is born. I think I am almost there.

On Saturday, my thoughtful friends threw me the most incredible baby shower. I felt so spoiled and a little guilty for taking home a CARLOAD of pink things. Diapers that will last for months, darling shoes, dresses, tights and hair bows. But more than the presents, being in a room full of women who love and support me and only want the best for my family is a little overwhelming. This was my third baby shower and as much as I fought doing it again, I am so grateful for all the love, support and excitement that has been given for this little girl who hasn't even entered the world yet. We have been truly blessed. Out of all the gifts I received, my most favorite was a thoughtful book of messages (and advice) written by loved ones, both near and far. If you contributed to this book, thank you. It really means the world to me and I will treasure it for always. Such wonderful messages and such great advice on how to raise a GIRL! I am going to need it, I'm sure.

The past couple of months have been a little crazy, but I have never felt so grateful. My children are all healthy and strong... no one has needed to see a doctor all year, there have been no broken bones on the trampoline and our house was literally saved from being burned to the ground last week. I know we're being watched over and protected. Last night, while cutting the boys hair, Simon touched a hot lamp we'd pulled in for better lighting and blistered his little fingers. While he was crying himself to sleep, I was thinking about how much worse it could have been and how blessed we truly are.

Today at church, I dressed up as Sister Friendly and visited JR & SR sharing time. I know it's going to be several months before I will be able to do it again and I am so happy I felt well enough to do it today. I absolutely LOVE the Primary in our ward. My boys have such great friends and teachers and I love being able to interact with the children... even if I have to embarrass myself to do it. Our ward has truly become our family here in Vegas and this weekend solidified that more than ever. It's hard living away from "home" but it makes it so much easier when you are surrounded by amazing people.

While cleaning up after dinner tonight, I accidentally broke the disposal in the kitchen sink. Aaron spent a long time researching how to fix and then got to work while I laid on the couch and talked to my dear friend Bev Olson on the phone. When I finally hung up, the sink was working good as new. I am so grateful for my husband and all that he does for me. He's not naturally a "handy man" but he is always willing to spend the time to figure something out and to do it right. He is such a hard worker and never has any down time. Sometimes i get frustrated being home all day long, but I have so much more free time than he does. He has been an amazing provider for our family and I am grateful that he worked hard through years and years of school so that we can make ends meet today. We have always been blessed financially, never exactly having more than we need, but always having enough. These past few months with the experiences we've had, I feel more than ever that God is aware of us and watching out for all of our temporal needs. My cup runneth over!

Tomorrow starts a new week and there is a lot on the TO DO list. I am still contracting consistently but I believe she will come when she is ready to come. I was a little uptight a couple of weeks ago, afraid that I would deliver too soon, but I am feeling very relaxed and chill lately. There is something so magical about labor-- and I am so looking forward to meeting our daughter! The next few weeks will be very exciting and I am trying my best to be patient and get as much done before she comes. I get so giddy just thinking about Fall weather, General Conference, Halloween.. add a baby girl to the mix and I can hardly contain myself! It's the most wonderful time of the year...

september fifteenth

a few things happened today that I want to record.

• I slept for about 2 hours last night.. and that's rounding up. I got another hour in from 6-7 am.
• I woke up to Ben tapping me on my shoulder, holding a plate of scrambled eggs and a big glass of ice water. He said, "Here's breakfast, mom. Are you going to drive us to school? Luke and I are ready to go. Well, Luke still has to comb his hair."
• About ten minutes later, we were on the road, Luke's hair combed and all. The drive to school is beautiful. No one was upset when they ran off to the playground. Simon kept repeating on the drive home, "Ben. Luke. sCool."
• While putting away clean laundry in my room, I smelled something burning. I found Zack and Simon in my closet lighting matches. When I opened the door, Zack said, "Mom, I wanted to stop, but Simon just kept saying, 'Again, again.' and I just had to light another one. "
• Before the burning smell had faded, Zack came to me with a big wad of bubble gum stuck in his hair... right at the scalp. I got a picture of it, but don't want to upload it. maybe later.
• With a little peanut butter, the gum came out. The two little boys spent about an hour in the bath together. I scrubbed the toilet and mopped the floor around them.
• Simon wouldn't go down for a nap to save his life, which means I didn't get any down time either. I was SO tired of lifting him back into his playpen, I finally gave up. He won.
• While stocking newborn diapers in the baby's room, Zack held one up and said, "Oh mom. Our baby is going to have the littlest butt." I get excited just thinking about a newborn butt, too.
• Before I knew it, it was time to pick up the kids from school. The weather was incredible, so I let them play at the skate park for a while afterward. Ten donkeys came to play with them.
• We arrived home, had a snack and did homework. Ben and Luke really enjoy school, especially on PE days. They played tetherball today. I pray they will grow up to be just as socially skilled as Napoleon Dynamite. Public school makes you socially normal, you know.
• While I helped the kids with their school work, Simon fell asleep standing up-- no joke. He propped his head against the armrest of the couch and slept there for about 20 minutes, until his legs finally gave in and he collapsed on the floor. I regret not running upstairs to grab the camera before he fell.
• Aaron came home, which was a fantastic surprise. It's tennis league night for him. He said he was afraid I would have a nervous breakdown if he was gone all night. I laughed and kissed him. And then got changed into my painting clothes.
• Keyonna and I painted the nursery purple. Vintage Violet to be precise. We locked the doors, watched The Devil Wears Prada and were almost successful keeping the kids out.
• Aaron made dinner and called us down when it was ready. I love him.
• After a delicious meal, the girls headed back upstairs and the boys took the dog for a walk. They had a "dog challenge" in which Sunny's leash was tied to the wagon where Zack and Simon were riding. Ben and Luke were challenged to run faster than Sunny, pulling the two kids. Sunny was much faster. In fact, she was so speedy, she sent the wagon - and kids-flying in the air. Simon came back with several rocks and scrapes in his forehead.
• Zack was sobbing when they returned. The way he was acting, I thought Sunny had been hit by a car. When he finally said Sunny was okay and that he had bumped his head on the pavement, I felt relieved. I guess I do love that dog after all.
• Everyone changed into pj's. including me.
• I read to my kids for about an hour before bedtime. We just started a new book. Z for Zachariah. I ran across it at the library and remembered my 7th grade teacher reading it to our class. Public school was good for me in many ways.
• Aaron went to play basketball after the kids fell asleep.
• I forgot to tell Aaron to return a redbox movie for. Something Borrowed was worth one dollar, but not two. Curse redbox.
• Simon decided he didn't want to sleep and crawled in bed with me. We snuggled for a while and I had him giggling good. When he started getting sleepy, I had him practice saying the name Roma.. He says "Woma" so perfectly. Hopefully his cute voice can convince Daddy. He fell asleep laying on my belly while I combed through his fluffy hair.
• I got to thinking about our day and decided to blog.
• Aaron came home from basketball and collected garbage from around the house. Usually my boys do that on Thursdays, but they weren't really available to do it today. They are so "busy" with their new schedule. Hopefully we can remember next week.
• I am going to go clean up dinner. I said that I would hours ago, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Somethings are more important than others.

what to do at 4 am...

I thought of several things I could be doing rather than tossing and turning in bed: finish painting the nursery, make Halloween costumes, organize closets, clean the dog's cage, prepare freezer meals.... but most of those things would wake the kids and we won't be having that.

Instead I am going to add a few back-dated photos to the blog. I literally have 1000 pictures that need to be uploaded... but for some reason or another, I just can't find the motivation to do it. I've decided that taking a couple of bites a day might be the best way to eat the elephant. Here are some from our trip to Bear Lake.

I heart the picture above. Not just because I'm smoking hot in my pink maternity swimsuit... but because I had the best time sharing an air mattress at the lake with some of my favorite women. There are a lot of women in this world to love... I feel lucky to be related to some of the best. My sisters are suchs blessings in life. I have four amazing blood-related sisters... and five incredible women who have married my brothers. Amy is the only sis-in-law in this picture. She is saucy, hilarious and always up for a good time.

Here are the cutest little newlyweds you ever did see. These two are both SO INCREDIBLE with the kids. Matt is one of the oldest of nine children and Cindy is the baby of ten (aunt to 35) so they have had LOTS of practice with snotty-nosed, cry-babies. They are going to make awesome parents someday (no kids for them for a while.)

All of the cousins, but especially the boys, had an absolute blast at the lake catching fish and snakes! I am not sure how many fish they captured in their buckets, but probably around 50? This was our own little private lake. Not exactly fancy, but so much fun for everyone. Those weeds were hiding all kinds of animals!

ALL of Debbie's girls are beautiful, but this one could be a centerfold. Her personality is something else too. All I can say is that I feel for my sister and what she's going to have to deal with when her daughters are teenagers. Wowza.

This was taken minutes after we arrived in Idaho. Simon jumped in the water before I was able to take off his clothes. He was seriously SO HAPPY to be there. I let him play for about an hour before I actually put on his swimsuit.. not because I wanted him walking around with a 20 lbs diaper, but because every time I tried to take him out, he gave me the look of death.

"Don't you dare try to take me out of this water..."

Each night we made S'mores and enjoyed the beautiful cool summer air.

This isn't a great picture, but it's the view we had from the back deck. So unbelievably breathtaking. While there, I kept thinking we should name our baby girl HAVEN. I was so peaceful and just kept thinking about what a beautiful word that was. Too bad my husband and I don't agree on anything.

this is Debs and Betty. Words cannot describe how much I love them. Debbie and I spent two solid weeks together, most of the time without our husbands. I wish she was my sister-wife and lived with me always. She is such an inspiring, incredible, amazing girl. So lucky to have her in my life.

The bed Simon and I shared at the cabin is one of the most comfortable beds I've ever slept on. I was so sad we had to leave! We would fall asleep with the windows open and most nights we could hear the rain pitter-pattering against the glass. Simon fell asleep next to me one night and I just had to get up and take a picture of him. He was delirious from a long day at the lake. He couldn't keep his eyes open, but he was fighting sleep like I've never seen before. He lids were open while his little eyeballs would roll in the back of his head. Each time it happened, I would laugh hysterically. Then he would laugh (eyes closed) as if to say, "I am still awake and part of this conversation... I know what is so funny!" It happened a dozen times before he finally crashed. While he was sleeping peacefully, hands on his cute little tummy, I thought about how much I love each of my children. Simon was wearing a pair of pajamas we had purchased for Benjamin at that age. Each of my boys had rocked these comfy pj's... and they are so worn out now, but I just can't get rid of them. As I laid next to him and stared at his unbelievable eyelashes, the baby girl was kicking inside my tummy and I just felt so.... blessed. This is when I finally got up and took a picture of the moment. I am so grateful for these busy/exhausting days of motherhood. I hope I never forget how much joy I have in my heart at the end of (most) long days.

Ten pictures down, 9990 to go.....

fully invested

it's been raining here quite a bit... which is unusual for these parts. You can't help but love a cold downpour after months of 100 degree weather. This morning, I could feel the storm coming, so I made sure the dog was inside. Poor Sunny got wet on Saturday during the rain storm and I wouldn't let her come in the house ALL.DAY. A big dog in the house is bad enough. A wet big dog is a no go. So, anyway, I made her come in, but as soon as Simon opened the back door to see the big raindrops, Sunny ran out. She was out there for all of ten seconds before she realized how hard it was raining and then she wanted back in. Sorry, Dog. You chose to be outside and you're staying there until you dry off. My floors are clean and they are staying that way.

Lately I've been wondering if I am fully invested in decisions I make. I am such a free spirit that if something sounds fun or new, I want to try it. But often I take bites bigger than I can chew. Take having another baby, for example. I want a big family. But my hands are full these days and I stress about adding another one to the mix. Simon is such a crazy toddler and something tells me having babies less than two years apart is not a good idea. I had a scare on Sunday and thought our little girl was coming. I left church early because I wasn't feeling well. I took a nap and woke up to strong contractions. They continued through the day.. about 4 minutes apart. Around midnight, I thought it was the real deal. I paced around for a couple of hours timing them and waiting for them to get unbearable, but around 3:30 am, they finally stopped. I was so relieved. I don't want to have a small baby... and I am not ready for her to come yet. Still so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I am sure I will love her to pieces when she arrives, but right now, I am just not sure I am fully invested.

And then there's school. It's a great school for Ben and Luke. Don't get me wrong. There are a lot of wonderful things about being scheduled, teaching your kids responsibility, letting them discover the world on their own, etc, etc. But I am really missing what we used to have. Like today, for instance. A rainy, thunderstormy day is the best kind of day to stay in bed and in your pj's and read, read, read. We are in the middle of The Magician's Nephew by C.S. Lewis. I would so prefer reading that aloud to my kids today rather than sending them somewhere else. When Luke asked to stay home, I almost said yes. And when I dropped them off, I felt a little sick to my stomach. They are going to have a good day, I am sure, but it could have been a great one at home.

Last Saturday I cried for the first time since we sent them to school. So weird for me to cry about it on a Saturday, but I did. And I cried a lot. Ben, my lover of books, woke up and said, "I am so glad I DON'T have to read today." His teacher has been requiring them to read M-F for 20 minutes a day and then write a couple of sentences to summarize what they read. This is a cinch for both of my kids, but especially for Ben. He's the one who often wakes up at 5 am to read until the rest of us roll out of bed. He's fully invested in Harry Potter and has sped through thousands of pages. But since school has started he ONLY reads 20 minutes a day... and on Saturday he was glad he didn't "have" to read, which made me so sad. We had a great day as a family, but ended up doing homework on Saturday night to avoid doing it on Sunday... Ben and Luke both wrote reports. Ben's was about how much he loved serving as a waiter at Aunt Cindy's wedding. Luke wrote about winning "most colorful car" at the Pinewood Derby. Both great subjects, right? I think so. However, they had already written an outline and rough draft and now needed to spit out the same thing for the third time.... which made it not fun anymore. I know they are learning valuable editing skills, but I want my kids to LOVE to write. Writing can be exciting and creative and stimulating. But when it becomes a task, something that someone else is making you do, it's not fun anymore. And that kills me. I am watching their love of learning fade before my eyes. Yes, I am being dramatic, but it brought me to tears on Saturday night when we decided not to go miniature golfing as a family and finish the reports instead. My family time is so precious... and it's being taken away from me. Yes, we will figure out a routine soon. Homework isn't going to be the death of us, I would just rather do it at 10 am then right before dinner (or instead of miniature golfing.) I know 98% of you don't understand where I am coming from, but I would go back to homeschooling in a heartbeat if I could. Only, I am committed to finishing out this school year. I stepped outside, got wet and there's no going back inside. Darn it.

Zack and Simon are doing fabulous at home. I love their crazy personalities and excitement for life and learning. They are great little buddies. Unfortunately, their creativity and passion gets them in trouble at times. (They are both big mess makers.) but I am so happy they get this year to be together. They are like two peas in a pod. Simon is growing up so quickly and talks nonstop. When ever I ask him to do something (or not do something) he responds with a quick, "Okay, mom." or sometimes just an "Okay." It's so nonchalant that when he says it, he reminds me a of teenager. One of his favorite things to do is pick up a book and "read" it. Sometimes he's reading it upside-down, but that won't stop him from explaining what's happening on the pages. He has become quite the jibber-jabberer. Zack seriously makes me laugh every day. I have been so bad at recording all that he says, but I posted this on Facebook with my phone this morning. After taking the kids to school, Zack found some loose change in the back seat. Without any expression on his face, he handed it over to me and said, "Here, Mom. I'd like to buy a vowel." We haven't watched Wheel of Fortune in ages, but he's been pulling mysterious comments out of his hat since the day he was born. He's doing really well with his Kindergarten material at home and does his "homework" with the older boys... which is all fun.... because his teacher is super radical.

Aaron is busy at work but continues to be my superhero of a husband. He does all the grocery shopping, makes dinner a few times a week, changes poopy diapers, serves faithfully in his calling, wakes us up for scriptures in the morning, plays sports as often as he can, sings Christmas songs in the shower, and loves me despite my unstable, emotional state. Last night I told him I wasn't myself lately. He laughed good and hard and said, "That's the understatement of the year." Maybe that would make some women feel bad, but it made me feel so much better knowing that he recognizes I am different too. If I had to feel like this all my life, I wouldn't want to live very long. Sounds depressing, right? Well, I am just not feeling like myself lately.

so, four more weeks to go. I really want to have her in October. We still don't have a name, but that doesn't stress me out too much. I just can't be fully invested in one until she's born and I look at her face. I can't wait to see what she looks like!

it's only noon.

It's only noon, but I feel like complaining already. Honestly, people, I am so grumpy these days...

Last night I went to bed tired. Aaron didn't get home until after bedtime and I was just... done. Homework was finished, the house was clean, dinner was warm and healthy, but I was so over it by 9:00 pm. My life isn't fun anymore and I am mad about it.

We woke up early and read scriptures as a family, despite Simon's best effort to distract us. I started a load of laundry and went downstairs to make breakfast. Ben opted for cereal today, which was fine. I like to pick my battles. He grabbed a box of Honey Nut Cheerios from the pantry. We usually only have plain Cheerios, but Dad must have splurged on the way home from tennis last night. Ben thought he needed sugar on top of this already sugared cereal and grabbed my big glass container on the cabinet. Unfortunately, he didn't quite make it to the table. Mounds of sugar and little pieces of glass went all over my newly mopped floor. And because I wasn't wearing shoes like the Flylady told me to do right after I get out of bed, my feet were sliced in four different places.

Ben grabbed me a pair of sandals as I tried to clean up the mess. When he handed them to me, his eyes were filled with tears. It's so hard to get mad at this child. He sat at the table and blocked his face from mine with the cereal box. I bandaged up my bleeding feet and put on my tennies.

Luke came down a few minutes later without his shoes on, and I quickly scolded him and told him to run back upstairs until he was completely dressed. He told me that he'd been searching for clean socks for ten minutes and can't find any. I ended up giving him a pair of mine... he wore them because he's cool like that. I would have given him a pair of Ben's but Ben's all have holes in them. We should have bought socks for the new school year. oops.

Zack was sick because he went to bed without dinner last night. He was supposed to clean his bathroom sink before dinner last night and opted to fall asleep before. He ate a bowl of cereal while laying down.

Simon made a mess while eating--- which is to be expected, but today I just didn't want to deal with it. He is so cute, but so frustrating.

I made the boys a lunch and sent them on their way. A dear friend and close neighbor has transferred her kids to the same elementary as mine, so now we can carpool and it's been wonderful. She came to pick the kids up and as they drove away I felt bad that I was such a mean mom this morning. I hate being a mean mom.

Zack and Simon had a super hero birthday party to attend at 10 AM. Only, I didn't have a present... So we loaded up and headed to the store bright and early. Zack threw up in the garbage can at the store and then spent another 10 minutes in the bathroom. Simon got INSIDE the big rubber ball bin while Zack and I were picking out a toy. I got him out, but one of his shoes remained at the bottom of the balls. oy. Zack's skinny arms were able to retrieve it without too much trouble.

We finally picked out the right present and grabbed some bleach for my laundry adventures this afternoon and checked out. There was only one register open and as I was paying, Simon had a meltdown. He let the five people behind us in line know that he wanted a sucker. I am sure those five people wanted to know why I was having another baby when I couldn't handle the ones I already have.

I dropped off the kids at the party-- which was thrown by one of my favorite people in the world. She had super hero capes for all of the boys when they entered. As I was leaving, they were saving little super hero figurines from a big block of ice.. apparently Mr. Freeze had come. Simon and Zack couldn't have been happier about pouring their cups of warm water on the ice and I couldn't have been happier to have some peace and quiet.

I got in my car and drove to Kohl's to buy my boys some new socks. On the way, I tried calling my mom who lives all the way in Chile. But she didn't answer. Sometimes all I want to do is talk to Bev. I was going to ask her how she had ten children... but I think I know what she'd say. "I had them one at a time. You can only take one day at a time, Janet." I feel better just hearing her voice in my head.

All I want in life is to have a good time... is that really too much to ask for? I don't want to run errands and find matching socks and clean up messes and deal with screaming toddlers. I would much rather stay at home and read to my kids and play games and hire a maid. Why can't I get everything I want??

mr mischief

Once upon a time, my sister and I took our kids to a beautiful cabin at Bear Lake. There were 11 children between the two of us. (my four boys, her four girls, and 3 of my brother's kids...) We had a great time there and took a gazillion pictures.. which, unfortunately, will not be included in this post.

One night, it was raining really hard. In fact, it was hailing on us. The kids retired to their beds early and I told my sister she needed a break, so she went up to her room and read a book. I put the two toddlers (Simon and Betty) in their beds and then went to check on the older kids who were playing cards in the "big kids" room. When I came back upstairs, the doors of the toddler rooms were open, and they were missing. I searched high and low and couldn't find them anywhere. I got drenched searching outside and then started to panic. When I came back in, I could hear the shower in the master bedroom running (a sound I had mistaken earlier for the pouring rain).. When I entered the master bathroom, I found Simon and Betty like this:

As soon as he saw me, Simon smiled big and said, "CHEESE!" as if he knew a picture was coming. I decided to grab my camera and take one, since he was begging for it anyway. Sweet Betty didn't know if she was in trouble or not. She was not. I know my mischievous son and I am not surprised by the fact that he went into her room, persuaded her to take off her clothes and turned on the water in the shower. I helped her in the tub and told her everything would be okay, but she still wasn't so sure.

Simon has been in love with Betty since day one. He talks about her and to her 20 times a day. Most of the conversations are pretend phone calls coming from toy cell phones, calculators and often his own feet (he will put his foot to his ear and say, "Hi Betty! I miss you!"... if only we could all be so flexible.) I don't think Betty feels the same kind of love for her cousin. She often will come up to me and tell me that "Simon's mean." Which is absolutely true. He's also naughty.

hey there!

Long time no see.

I am really hoping there will be some time I can upload pictures on this bloggy before Christmas. but I make no guarantees.

I just wanted to quickly log in and and say thank you to all of you who have emailed or called me with words of encouragement. I want to respond to you individually and I promise I will, but I just haven't had the time yet. Please accept this lame thank you until a better, more personal one can be written.

Many of you have asked me if I am going to pull my kids out of school. The answer is no. The decision to put them in has been a long one coming... made in August 2010. I think I needed a year to prepare myself for it and although the adjustment hasn't been perfectly smooth, it's been very doable. I still have yet to cry about it. and now that I've gotten through the first 10 days, who knows if I will. I honestly believe that everything we do is an education. This experience is teaching us all a lot and even though I don't necessarily think my kids time is being used wisely, I do believe we are learning a great deal.. the least of which is scholastic. I am really trying to squeeze the best out of every situation and gosh.darn.it... before the end of the year, we will have a gallon of lemonade! We really are doing fabulous. One thing I've learned about my kids this past week is that they are all very adaptable. No one has complained about anything and I am proud of everyone (including myself) for how we've handled the new schedule. Heaven knows there will still be lots of adjustments to make, especially after the baby comes.

Speaking of which, I had a little scare this weekend. I started contracting pretty regularly on Friday. I tried to keep my feet up and chill out, but they continued through the night and woke me up early on Saturday morning. By the afternoon, they were so strong that I started to freak out a bit. I know what braxton hicks are and I know when they get more intense. I was feeling rather nauseous during each contraction and started having to breathe through some of them. I still have five weeks to go. Zack was born four weeks early... which is too early, in my opinion. I had the same sort of scare with Simon's pregnancy and went on bedrest at 34 weeks. I don't want to have to do that again, but I will if I need to. I was able to make an appt on Saturday afternoon and felt much better when I got home. Sunday I was a new woman and I have felt great ever since. Until today, that is....

My little toddler is a talented mess maker. He L.O.V.E.S to pour things out-- bowls of dog food, boxes of cereal, large containers of cinnamon, etc. But his favorite thing to do is get a big cup, fill it up with water from the refrigerator and pour it on the floor. Needless to say, my floors are getting mopped often. Today on my way out the door (to pick up the kids from school) Simon was begging for a drink. I gave him a cup, he took a few gulps and then headed out to the car with Zacky. As I turned the corner to follow them out, I realized that Simon didn't drink the whole glass. It wasn't a lot of water on the tile floor, but enough to send me flying in the air. I fell super hard, right on my booty. I was also holding a glass of water and it went all over my face, clothes and newly blow-dryed hair. As if getting around isn't difficult enough these days. I cannot even tell you how crippled I am. It hurts to walk, sit and lay down. What's an 8 month preggo girl to do? I am praying that tomorrow isn't as bad as today... it's all I can do to keep myself from taking more Tylenol than is recommended. I really don't want to have this baby girl early... so grateful she's still kicking and moving around. I guess it could have been a lot worse than it was.

Life is rough sometimes, isn't it? As miserable as I feel, I find comfort in the fact that there are many people out there who are more miserable than me...

happy hump day.

donkey love

today was a great Sunday. I had dinner ready before church, my house was clean, Aaron was home, we whipped up a batch of oatmeal butterscotch cookies, popped popcorn, moved a mattress into the living room, played a few games... the perfect kind of Sunday afternoon.

All 6 of us were laying on the mattress on the ground, Aaron next to me, the boys jumping from the couch to the mattress. Everyone was giggling and even though I know things aren't perfect, I believe this is as good as it gets. It's crazy to think that just a few years ago (can 12 be considered a few?) Aaron and I barely knew each other. Now, here we are, hundreds of miles away from any of our family. We have created a life and family of our own. And it's a beautiful one.

After about an hour of jumping around, we decided to try to calm the troops by putting on a movie-- an episode of planet earth. I could watch these DVDs over and over and never get tired of them. Tonight we watched the lions take down the elephant-- and my boys were absolutely thrilled. I am the only one who hates to watch the predictor catch it's prey... everyone else in my house cheers, including Simon.. I can't wait until our daughter joins the family, I need someone else around who has feelings.

Somewhere in the middle of the film, Ben stops it and says, "I can't believe we forgot to tell you this! When we were at recess a few days ago, there were two donkeys in the field..." (they go to a school in a city where wild donkeys roam freely..) He continues, "One donkey was on TOP of the other one. Well, it's two front legs were on top of it's back and they were stuck together!" I asked him what the other donkey was doing and he said, "It was trying to get away, but the one on top just kept moving wherever the one on the bottom went." Luke was in on the story now and said, "Yeah! It was so crazy."

I figure we probably should have THE TALK with them now that they are going to public school... but I am not sure if I am ready. How do you know if you/your kids are ready??? If we wait too long, one of their classmates will give them the sex rundown... or a couple of donkeys will act it out for them. I just want them to hear it from us before anyone else. We're not going to be able to keep them innocent and naive forever, although sometimes I wish I could.

3 years already.

Last weekend marked our 3rd anniversary of buying and moving into our home. We celebrated - most appropriately - by checking into a local hotel. I don't expect you to remember it like we do, but we spent the entire month before we closed on our home living in various hotel rooms around Las Vegas. Yes, we were homeless for 4 solid weeks. It was quite the adventure. These are some of the lessons we learned.

One NIGHT in a hotel is so much more fun than one MONTH. We checked in after Daddy got off work, picked up some greasy food to eat by the pool and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It brought back some fun memories of warm summer nights long ago...

Eating out nowadays is WAY more expensive than it was when we were homeless. Three years ago, our boys literally shared a single happy meal at McD's (which is exactly why we decided to collect all 18 of the Star Wars bobbleheads.) Now, each of our kids need a full-sized adult meal to keep their tummies satisfied... you better believe I am including Simon in the bunch. He is often eating before the prayer is said and will continue to shove food in his face long after the rest of us are full. It's pretty disgusting... and amazing!

We owned the pool in the late hours of the evening, watched a fabulous episode of America's Funniest Videos, slept relatively well crammed in the same room, enjoyed the continental breakfast in the morning, hit the pool again, buddied up for a few intense chicken fights, did a little school shopping and were thrilled to come back to our home sweet home on Saturday afternoon.

The picture below makes me laugh.. Ben is drowning, Aaron can't see and Zack & Luke's bones are showing because they are so skinny...

I tried to recreate this gem taken in August 2008 during our homeless adventure...

But I never could get the boys in the right position and each time Zack pulled himself up on the edge of the pool, his swimsuit would come down and show his butt. Ben and Luke were quite entertained.. so is the life with little boys. They have grown up so much in the past three years, and yet, they are exactly the same.

The only picture I took in our hotel room was of Zack, who was absolutely ecstatic about the fact that tissues were hiding inside the bathroom counter. He kept taking them out and bringing them to everyone. His enthusiasm for life never fails to amaze me.
Which reminds me..... We asked the boys some of their favorite things about living in our house and these were the only things they listed: We don't get wet when it rains. We can lock our doors so robbers don't get in. (& last, but not least) We can go to the bathroom whenever we want. Apparently, our home is just one notch up from living in a cardboard box.. I love how simply children look at the world. It really doesn't matter where we live, as long as we are warm, safe, and have access to a toilet.

**This Friday night is a lot different than last. Aaron picked up pizza on his way home from work and is now entertaining the kids downstairs. I was able to take a long bubble bath, shave my legs, blog and now I am watching The Man from Snowy River in my bed. Sometimes it's fun to sleep in the same room with your entire family... and sometimes it's fun to be completely and utterly ALONE. I am grateful for my house, my bathtub, my awesome neighbors, the freedom I have to paint the walls, my kitchen were I can cook for my family (when I want to) and for all the memories we've made these past three years. Most of all I am grateful for the people that live within these walls. We have turned this house into a home.