baby's first Valentine's Day... sort of.

I spent about an hour tonight reading from last year's journal entries. I wanted to see exactly when we KNEW it was time for another baby. Tears came to my eyes as I read over the handwritten pages. These entries are personal, but I feel like sharing. (wish I would have time to scan them in... but it's already past my bedtime).

January 4, 2011

While eating breakfast this morning, Aaron told me he had a dream that I was pregnant... and that he saw our baby GIRL! He told me he thinks it's time for another baby. I feel overwhelmed just thinking about adding to the chaos. Sy-Guy is quite the handful these days. Can I go through another pregnancy and newborn? If I knew it would guarantee a daughter, I would do it in a heartbeat. I want a little girl so badly.

January 30, 2011

I had such a rough day today. Sundays aren't my favorite anymore. Zack, Simon and I came home from church early. I think Sy-Guy might have an ear infection. I feel terrible. Aaron was gone most of the day and when we finally had a chance to talk tonight, he told me he had another dream about a baby girl. I wish HE could get pregnant and carry her around for 9 months. I don't really feel like signing up for that. I am feeling very overwhelmed. Luke's birthday and baptism is this week. I hope I can make it through and make it special for our sweet Lukey boy!

February 5, 2011

Luke was baptized today. I was feeling a little stressed when we arrived at the church, but as soon as the program started, I felt so much peace and gratitude. Ben gave such a wonderful talk. And Luke was just SO sweet. During his confirmation, I felt very strongly that there is another baby waiting to join our family. It was clear and undeniable. I guess Aaron knows what he's talking about after all. Let's just hope all of his baby GIRL dreams come true! I feel ready to start trying for #5.

February 9, 2011

So, I am three days late. I am not usually late, so I decided to take a pregnancy test this morning. It was negative. But it was a dollar store test, so maybe I should go and buy and more expensive one. ??? Maybe I will give it a couple of more days. I will be really surprised if I am pregnant.

February 11, 2011

I wanted to wait until Valentine's Day, but I just couldn't wait any longer. The test was negative again. Instead of throwing it away, I set it on the counter next to the toilet and went about my day. When Aaron got home from work, I went to throw it away and over the course of the day TWO lines appeared! I can't believe it. I want to take another test to make it official, but I don't have one. I will have to wait until tomorrow morning!!

February 14, 2011

It's starting to sink in that we're really expecting again. We had such a special (quiet) Valentine's Day today after a crazy weekend. I am so grateful for a husband who wants to have a big family and supports me, emotionally and financially. He is such a good man. And my boys are wonderful too. So wonderful, that I would even be happy to get another one just like them. I am feeling tired, but so, SO blessed.

*****

February 14, 2012

Our roly-poly baby girl has been such a blessing in our lives. Last Valentine's Day (weekend) we found out we were expecting her. I didn't know she was a she, but I hoped and prayed for her. She is so beautiful and sweet. She's also a drama queen. I can't put her down for more than 5 minutes and I am still not getting ANY sleep at night, but I feel so blessed to have her in our home. She giggles hard every night before bedtime and it's so adorable. We can hardly get the other kids to say goodnight and go to their own rooms because we all just want to be around her. Oh how we LOVE this chunky girl.

My Valentine's present from Aaron (besides the smart phone he bought for me that I will not be keeping) is a new van. I can't believe I will be driving a 15 passenger van around town. The kids are ecstatic.. I am not exactly "EXCITED" about it, but I know it's the right vehicle for our family. I want to have enough room to grow. And no, I am not expecting again, but I don't want to be stressed about not having enough room for our kids, and their friends. Life is getting more complicated by the year (month/day) but this is such a good life. I am so grateful. We have been tremendously blessed.