not this cute anymore!
this past week I finished reading two fabulous books. Unbroken (that I started months ago) and Heaven is Here (that I read in 2 days). Both books are amazing and powerful and life-changing. Both books have my wheels turning about my own life and the kind of person I want to be. Both make me feel grateful to be alive and be free to make choices. They also solidify the understanding that trials can become blessings if we allow them to change us in a positive way. I have been inspired to use my abilities and strengths to serve my family and make the most of every day.
I went to therapy last week and I liked it. My therapist was exactly like my mom. She was soft spoken and kind and kept telling me not to be so hard on myself. She wasn't very direct or specific, and I wanted her to be. But it's hard to get the full picture when you've only talked with someone once. I made an appointment to go back.
One thing I thought about while I was there is how I would set up my office if I was a shrink. I was trying to answer her questions the best I could, but I was totally distracted thinking about how I need to go back to school and get my masters degree.. When I left, I felt more connected to myself than when I entered, but I don't think it had anything to do with what was said. I just felt like I was in the right place at the right time and my thoughts were clear. Maybe I'm struggling to clarify a few things I already knew about myself.
I know I want a big family. I've known that since... well, forever. But the more children I have, the more crazy I feel. Reading Stephanie Nielsen's book made me feel normal (and right) to want a house full of kids. I completely 100% related to the relationships she has with her siblings and parents. I feel so lucky to be raised in a family with such a solid support system. I just tear up thinking about how they rallied around her after the crash. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have someone else raise your children, but I know that no one could do it better than my sisters. There was such an out pouring of love from the pages. It made me gush over my children and husband even more... and I didn't know that was possible.
My days are filled with breast feeding and potty training and laundry and meal preparation and dishes and usually a craft to make things wild. But I laugh a lot. And so do my kids. We blast music like we're college freshmen. We have a great time cleaning together and we play more than we should. I look at these sweet faces and I know that they belong in our home. I have so much to be happy about.
I went to therapy last week and I liked it. My therapist was exactly like my mom. She was soft spoken and kind and kept telling me not to be so hard on myself. She wasn't very direct or specific, and I wanted her to be. But it's hard to get the full picture when you've only talked with someone once. I made an appointment to go back.
One thing I thought about while I was there is how I would set up my office if I was a shrink. I was trying to answer her questions the best I could, but I was totally distracted thinking about how I need to go back to school and get my masters degree.. When I left, I felt more connected to myself than when I entered, but I don't think it had anything to do with what was said. I just felt like I was in the right place at the right time and my thoughts were clear. Maybe I'm struggling to clarify a few things I already knew about myself.
I know I want a big family. I've known that since... well, forever. But the more children I have, the more crazy I feel. Reading Stephanie Nielsen's book made me feel normal (and right) to want a house full of kids. I completely 100% related to the relationships she has with her siblings and parents. I feel so lucky to be raised in a family with such a solid support system. I just tear up thinking about how they rallied around her after the crash. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have someone else raise your children, but I know that no one could do it better than my sisters. There was such an out pouring of love from the pages. It made me gush over my children and husband even more... and I didn't know that was possible.
My days are filled with breast feeding and potty training and laundry and meal preparation and dishes and usually a craft to make things wild. But I laugh a lot. And so do my kids. We blast music like we're college freshmen. We have a great time cleaning together and we play more than we should. I look at these sweet faces and I know that they belong in our home. I have so much to be happy about.
Ben playing a little football after school..
and no, this wasn't "ugly outfit" day.
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1 comment:
It seems that therapy and the therapist is giving you the time, space, empaty, congruence and unconditional positive regards to enable you to discover yourself. The fact that you could let your thought flow and think about doing a masters and that you enjoy being a mom but appreciate how hard it is means that you took a huge step on your personal evelopment. With the help of therapy you will find your own direction. All the best!
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