a dozen

June 15, 2000.

The day before my wedding. I wake up early because Aaron and I want to do a session at the temple before the chaos begins. I bought him new white temple clothes a week ago. My mom hemmed the pants for him but I couldn't find them anywhere. I decide to sneak into my parents room and ask mom where she left them, even though it was 6:00 am. Much to my surprise, my parents were up and having sex. I had made it 20 years without seeing my parents in bed together and my last day in their house, I catch them. Instead of running out in fright, I turn my back, ask mom where Aaron's pants are, wait for her response and then walk out shaking my head. When Aaron picks me up, I tell him about my "adventure" to find his missing pants and we laugh.

The Jordan River temple is beautiful. The session calms me, but I still feel very nervous about the wedding. Aaron tells me everything will be okay and I trust him. I don't know exactly why I am so uptight. This is such a massively important decision and I feel so young. But forever with Aaron doesn't sound so bad. He's a great guy and I know I am lucky. We grab Subway for lunch and pick up a few last minute items on the way home.

Bronmin and Kirk fly in from Texas in the afternoon. I'm so looking forward to meeting them. Bronmin is sweet and gives me the approval to marry her brother. We have Kirk to thank for this big day. He was the one who talked Aaron into pursuing things with me one LAST time back in December. I love them both right away. We hang out for a while and wait for the rest of the family to show up. Brett is driving up from Colorado. Aaron's parents and the Little Squirrels should be here any minute. They will be sleeping in Provo at a friend's home. We are meeting for a barbecue at my parents home for dinner. I am excited for our families to be together for the first time.

The laid-back, get-to-know-you barbecue doesn't exactly turn out as planned. My mom has been doing wedding prep all day. My dad is with two of my younger brothers at the baseball field. One of their all-star games goes into extra innings and they won't be home in time to meet my in-laws. So my mom is a bit frantic (as she should be) and she runs around trying to get the meat ready. We set up tables in the backyard and bring out potato salad and chips. I am glad we're eating outside because inside is a war zone. I feel bad for asking my mom to do so much. I can tell she's stressed. We should have gone out to dinner, but that would never happen. We are already spending too much on this wedding as it is.

Aaron's family sits on one table and talks. It's been a while since they've been together. My family is all over the place. No one really mingles like I had hoped, but that's okay. After dinner, we head to the church where the reception will be held. Decorations are up, but there is still a lot to do. It's late and I am tired and stressed. I end up crying just before Aaron's family heads to Provo. I am sure they don't really notice, but this night had not gone how I planned. My sweet parents are at the church until midnight.

Francine, my best friend, comes over late to wish me good luck. She lives only a block away. She asks me what I am doing for my bouquet and I realize I don't have one. Flowers were ordered for everyone else, but for some reason, I spaced my own bouquet. A normal bride wouldn't forget such an important detail, but it proves I am too young for this. Fran and my sisters and I drive to a local flower shop. I am grateful it's still open. We pick out some beautiful lilies and tie them together with a bow. Perfect and simple. I don't want to be carrying around a heavy bouquet all day anyway.

We get back to the house and I am spent. Val arrives. She bought me my favorite mascara and I love her for it. We all stay up talking and my sisters force me to put on fake nails. It's way past my bedtime and my nails are the last thing I care about. Debbie is a professional and has everything ready. They promise they won't make them too long. They are pretty but so.not.me. They barely make it 24 hours on my fingers (ripping them off was a nightmare!) But it was definitely fun, bonding sister time. We finally go to bed at 2 am. My wedding is just a few hours away..

June 15, 2012.

I wake up to Aaron's alarm and roll over. He looks so tired and hits the snooze button. I let him sleep a little longer and get the baby from her crib. She is so fat and smiley in the morning. I make her a bottle because I can't nurse for the next few days. She is more than happy to take it out of my hands. The boys are up and bouncing around the kitchen. Aaron asks them to collect garbage from around the house. The garbage truck will be here any minute.

We have breakfast (cold cereal) together and say prayers as a family. Zack blesses and the church and temple won't burn down, which is weird, but whatever. You never know, I guess. Aaron leaves for work and Simon walks him out. Those two are BFFs. The boys and I straighten up the house a bit. And then we head to the dollar store. The boys "owe" each other presents and the dollar store is where they want to go. Luke buys Ben a box of Hot Tamales. Zack buys Simon a big blue ball. Luke gets a Star Wars puzzle. I manage to spend $25 on things that will probably break before we get home. Everyone is awesome at the store, so they get a sucker in the van. Amazing how much happiness a tootsie pop can bring.

We head to the splash pad. The sister missionaries meet us there and give me a few pointers on how to take better pictures with my nice camera. Sister Sprouse is a professional photographer back in Wisconsin. She's returning home in three weeks. The boys play in the water and we get some great shots of Roma. It's hot, but surprisingly not too hot. The Sisters leave and I call Aaron to see when he's heading home. I want to know if we have time to meet friends at the pool or not. He tells me to go swimming cause he has a few things to wrap up before lunch. I run into an old friend and start talking to her before I hang up with Aaron. He texts me a minute later. "Just now, on the phone, you were a total spaz." After twelve years of being married to me, I am not sure why he's be surprised by this.

We have a great time at the pool. The boys are fishes and Roma sleeps inside the house. I always love visiting with my friends. Simon eats his body weight in red vines and needs a nap in a major way. We arrive at home just minutes before Daddy. Aaron took the afternoon off because we had a fun stay-cation planned at a resort here in Vegas. But earlier in the week, we were talking about needs vs. wants and how we spend money on things that don't really matter. Both of us felt good about canceling reservations and staying home. But now we have nothing planned for our anniversary weekend and that hasn't happened in twelve years. We talk about what to do over delicious turkey sandwiches. No one can really come up with a killer idea.

The baby goes down for a nap, the boys put on a movie and Aaron and I decide to sleep too. Simon wiggles his way in between us on our bed. He wants to hold my hand and Daddy's hand at the same time, which is way cute. Everything he does is way cute. Aaron and I smile at each other and the three of us go to sleep. Nothing like a Friday afternoon nap in a cold, dark bedroom.

Around 5:00 pm we head out to get smoothies because it's national flip flop day. All seven of us are wearing flip flops. Roma's are purple. Tropical Smoothie Cafe is all "out" of free smoothies so we settle for slurpies at 7-11. We drive to another splash park and let the kids play. They've been in their swim suits all day. The boys run around like wild men. Aaron and I comment how lucky they are to have each other. They are such great playmates and never ask to have friends come along. Ro is jealous she can't run around with them too. Soon enough, my dear.

We come home and pop chicken nuggets and tater tots in the oven. The boys couldn't be more thrilled about the menu. Aaron and I have leftovers. Ben tries to say eyebrows and eyeball at the same time and it comes out eyebra. We all laugh. After dinner, the boys want to play cards, but I'd rather rearrange the couches and I need Aaron's help. By the time we're finished, the boys are all asleep with a movie playing in the background. Water and sun will do that to you.

I catch an organizing bug and feel like gutting our closet. Aaron joins me in there and we end up talking about how awesome it would be if he was released from the bishopric. We will get a new Bishop on Sunday. Too much serious talk stresses me out at night, so we grab Racko off the shelf and end up playing in our closet.. on the floor. Aaron turns on music from his phone and the rule is we can't change the song once it starts. We end up singing along to Christmas music and other random songs on his list. His music choices crack me up. He doesn't stand a chance against me in Racko. After four games, he gives up.

My new phone should arrive in the mail any day and I ask him if he checked it this afternoon. He said he forgot, but dares me to get the mail, right now, without a shirt on. I think about it but our neighbors are having a party. If a teenage boy saw me without a shirt on, I would scar him for life. Then Aaron says I should wear only a towel, and I take the challenge. I strip down, wrap a towel around me and get the mail. It's midnight and a few people are getting in their cars just outside our house, but no one sees me. It was a weak challenge. When I get back, Aaron says he'll do it tomorrow in broad daylight. I'll believe it when I see it.

Zack comes in our bedroom around 1:00 am and sleeps on our floor. He mumbles something in his sleep that neither of us can understand. We talk about how Zack says everything with his eyebrows raised two inches. Aaron and I wish each other a happy anniversary. A dozen years. I think back to that nervous, emotional girl twelve years ago. The day before my wedding didn't go exactly as planned. But if someone would have shown me a glimpse of what my life would be like twelves years into the future, I would have been happy to know it turned out beautiful. A dozen years, five kids, a house in the middle of the desert. Chicken nuggets for dinner. Racko in the closet and spontaneous trips to get the mail wearing only a towel. This has turned out better than I ever could planned.

I was young, but I wasn't stupid. I married a great guy.

our growing family at Roma's blessing. January 2012.