where Love is, there God is also

it's been a long week..  a good one, but tonight I feel super emotional.  I've been crying for a couple of hours now.  I am in my bedroom alone.  The windows are open and it's nice and breezy.  I decided to put in a movie to fall asleep to-- one of the Twilight movies.  I don't know which number, but they are getting married now.  (I've never seen it and apparently I'm still not that interested.)  I feel like writing instead while Bella and Edward are about to get it on in the background.  Poor Jacob.

I'm tired.  exhausted and depleted and emotional.  Every night has been a late one with church meetings and basketball games and appointments.  There has been no time to clean the house-- and even if there was, I haven't done it.  So this weekend is going to be catch up.  Yay!

Aaron and Ben are on a scout camp out tonight.  Ben is seriously the cutest boy scout I know.  He's plugging away at those merit badges like it's going out of style. Dad is his scout leader, so we are gung-ho, yo! I am a HUGE fan on the boy scout program.  HUGE.  Love everything they represent and I am so looking forward to each of my boys becoming men through this program.

Because Aaron had to work right up until they left today, I cleaned out our scout-mobile (took the 400,000lb back bench out by myself) and packed my boys up for their outing . which included all of the food for the troop.  Aaron came home, changed his clothes and they were out.  I was thorough and sent him with can openers, non-stick spray for pancakes and even glowsticks for the boys to stay up all night.  I asked him about cooking equip and he told me someone else had it.  big miscommunication.  He is there with a troop of hungry kids and they don't have any pans to cook their chili or griddles to flip the pancakes.  I swear I asked and he thinks he told me, but he's wrong.  And I felt unappreciated.  Never doing that again.. until next camp out, I'm sure.

After taking a walk outside and feeding my rugrats, we pulled in a mattress in the front room and took off the cushions on the couch.  I took pictures of the kids jumping around, Ro had no clothes, which made her especially happy.  She is such a tough chick and can wrestle like the rest of them.  I love her sass and the way she's changed our family.  She was sleepy and hysterical and so funny.  Yes, eventually I dressed her and put her to sleep.  The boys are actually still up watching some kind of superhero movie downstairs.  So glad i'm not a part of that.

Anyway, I'm getting side-tracked.  During the dinner craze where kids were screaming and couch cushions were being thrown, my doorbell rang.  Two women (solicitors) were asking for donations for their battered women's shelter.  It seems like this week I've had too many conversations with women who are struggling... this was one more to add to the list... and it seemed like the most inconvenient timing.  But I invited them into my crazy house and they opened up about their personal lives and what they've been through.  Wow.  They held Ro in her diaper and stayed for much longer than they planned, I'm sure.  But it was so rewarding and helped me put everything in perspective.  I am safe in my home with my rambunctious children.  And my husband is volunteering his time to camp with a bunch of rambunctious pre-teen boys.  My life is good and my husband is gentle and kind and works hard.  And we have all our needs taken care of.  He provides enough that I was able to write out a check to this amazing shelter, and hopefully that can make a difference in another life.. writing that check felt better than any shopping spree (I hate to shop, btw)  I am also hoping Ben can plan his eagle project around these awesome women and what they stand for.

it truly is all about perspective.  Sometimes when you think (or know) life is rough, it's healthy to step back and realize that others have it harder.  Those sweet women who knocked on my door were angels sent to testify of hardship.  We truly connected and I felt their strong spirits and their desire to help others in their even more difficult situations than we can fathom.  This week I've met with several women in my neighborhood who are dealing with specific trials of their own and I have been unable to give them advice on how to handle it or which direction to go.  But tonight I felt inspiration and know it was exactly what I needed. My prayers have been answered so directly and personally.

After they left, I cried.  Not for myself.  And not for these once battered women.  But because I know there is a God who loves each of us. He knows what's going on in the details of my life and sent strangers to my door to deliver a message of inspiration and hope.  These women are not of my faith, but the clarity and answers they gave me could not have come from anyone else.  We spoke from the heart and we felt love for one another. and "where Love is, there God is also."  I will forever be grateful to them and I will look for their stories in the eyes of other women and men I meet in the future.  What a beautiful world this is.  Amid the trials and hardships and abuse there is love and hope and safety.  Feeling grateful and emotional tonight.