YES or NO phase

I listened to an "awesome with Alison" podcast (episode 7) on being in a "Yes" or "No" phase.  It was my first Alison podcast... not sure why I picked out one in the middle, but I loved it and want to listen to more.  But it got me thinking about life and phases.

I have always been (or have always tried to be) a YES person.  I am definitely happiest when I can squeeze in the most fun/projects/activities/people as possible.  The best days for me have always been the most productive.  I don't really mean busy-work or errand running, I just mean a day full of meaningful things... that what productive means to me.  My emotional state has always seemed connected to how well I feel physically, because the more I can do, the better I feel.

My husband has teased me for 16 years that I am a YES MOM and he often sings the tune from Oklahoma, "I'm just a girl who cain't say no." and he sings it in a really high, annoying tone as if saying YES was a bad thing.  For him, maybe it was a bad thing (because sometimes my Yes included his participation) but for me, it's never been a bad thing because I genuinely feel better when I do more.  As a parent, I will say yes as often as I possibly can.  If I can't make it happen for my kids, I want THEM to figure out a way because life is short-- so let's make it happen if we can!  When I do say NO, my kids know I really mean it because it doesn't happen often, so no definitely means NO coming from me.

Fast forward to the past three months dealing with Sciatica and being in bed 23 hours a day for what seems like my entire life.  I can't even remember what it was like to be a YES mom.  I literally say NO to every thing that comes my way... and you know what?  It feels amazing.  I love being a NO person!!!!!  There are days where I literally get nothing done except a shower and getting dressed.  The simple basic things of life are on my someday list.  And I don't even care when that someday is... I just do what I can do and that is very little.  I am not saying that I don't want to get better or back to my everyday normal but I really don't know when that normal will be, so right now, I am in a total NO phase.  No to church, no to friends, no to anything social, no to date nights, no to everything... actually that's not true.  I don't say no to visitors and maybe I should because we've had nonstop visitors and I doubt I will say no anytime soon.  But I say yes to people coming to stay with us because it's a YES that I can say for my kids.. cousins/aunts/uncles to our house is a blast for my kids and their lives are very dull right now, so as long as they help me get ready for visitors, it's a total party.  Yes to all the parties!

So, what am I saying?  I guess that it FEELS SO GOOD to be a YES mom AND a NO mom!  because whenever you are doing the best you can, it really doesn't matter how much or how little you are doing..  I am just doing what I can and it feels good to let the rest go.  I am loving letting my life all go to pot!!! it feel so good, I will say YES later...