abusive Daddy

Aaron is the best Dad any child could ask for. He is fun, involved, patient, caring, and very silly. The minute he walks through the door, he is on the floor playing with the kids... He has intense pillow fights, plays video games and tells completely entertaining "sleep stories" (sound effects included.) My boys adore their dad and I love watching them together. It's truly incredible.

With that said, I think that Aaron might causing our children long-term emotional damage. Let me explain. Ever since our boys were babies.. and I mean, really small, Aaron would say unsettling things to them. For instance, if they were crying, he would tenderly pick them up and talk to them in a soft-spoken, soothing voice and say something like, "If you don't stop crying, I am going to cook you in the microwave." Our babies enjoyed these interactions and would calm down so they could listen to their dad coo at them. Each time it was something new... and with each baby it got a little more disturbing (if that's possible..) Other sweet nothings that he'd whisper to our kids include: "If you don't sleep through the night, we are going to make a bed for you in the freezer." or (while holding an electric hand mixer,) "These beaters might go up your bum if you're not careful." Now- he does it to get a reaction out of me... and EVERY time he gets one.. I try so hard not to laugh (because, frankly it's disgusting) but I can't help it. It's just too off-color and SO inappropriate with his affectionate, gentle voice.

If you think he stopped when they got older, you're mistaken. While driving, he calmly tells our boys that if they don't stop fighting he will rip their ears off or throw them out the window.. I guess threatening to pull over and have a discussion about their behavior isn't grotesque enough. The worst part is that my kids LOVE it and usually say, "Tell us another one, Dad! That was so funny!" They are encouraging him, and he is no longer doing it to get a reaction out of ME anymore. It's sad. As I type, Aaron is throwing a not-so-soft ball at Ben and Luke and they are uncontrollably laughing each time they get pegged in the face. And Zack is begging to join in. I don't get it.. Where is a little girl when I need one?

Recently, he has been torturing Zack and I don't know what to do about it. A few days ago, I had a large box of items ready to donate to a charity, who pick up locally. The box was sitting by our front door and Zack opened it to find one of his favorite (and SUPER annoying) toy trains. It flashes lights and plays LOUD music... It is a great toy for a little toddler, but not one of mine. It drives me CraZy. I have tried taking out the batteries, but Zack ends up bringing it to me, saying "Brokey" and wants it fixed. Anyway, when the charity came collect, I had to quickly throw the train back into the box without Zack seeing, but I failed. Zack was hysterical when they left with it and several times he went to the door pointing and crying, "Train, Train!" Obviously, I felt like a terrible mom and shared my frustrations with my husband. I thought Aaron would sympathize and tell me that I did the right thing. Not the case. Instead, he starts singing the annoying song and tells Zack to go find his toy... Zack, who obviously knows the tune, starts shaking and frantically goes looking for it around the house. When he can't find it, Aaron says, "Zack, go ask mommy where your train is.. She will help you find it." Is this not emotional abuse? WHAT SHOULD I DO?? I need suggestions. I feel like spitting in his dinner or something, but that's just not good enough. As mentioned before, Aaron does not read this blog (he's on strike) so give me some ideas! Doesn't anyone have any great pranks from girls camp that I can pull on him? And I am not talking about writing on his face with lipstick while he sleeps...

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

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