The REAL McCoy...

The world of blogging is an interesting one. We are in charge of exactly what goes on our page--which means we can display ourselves (and our families) exactly the way we want. What makes it interesting (and VERY annoying) is that it's easy for us to see how well other people are doing... and makes us feel like total failures ourselves. I hate this aspect of the blogging world. Why do we love to compare ourselves to others? We all do it and I know it's been mentioned before, but I'm getting real today...

Although I don't usually have a problem bragging (especially about my kids) I do struggle with what I should or should not post for fear of making me look better than I really am. This really does stress me out! I take relationships VERY seriously. People are SO important to me and that's why I LOVE blogging, but it's seems really hard to portray myself.. how I really am.. I hate posting things when it comes across like I am a pro or expert. Of course, my best friends know that this is NOT true, but for the other 99 people that look at and read my blog, I just wanted to let you know all my bad qualities :)

I am starting a new TAG game. Here are my top 5 worst qualities that I never want anybody to know about me.. of course, there are plenty, but let's just stick with 5 for now.

1. I look like a slob most of the time. I am NOT kidding here. I hate to get ready and I rarely do. I wear makeup on Sundays and an occasional night out with my husband, but taking a shower and doing my hair is something I do about twice a week. I also never wash my face before bed.. let's face it, I am dirty.. and feel comfortable that way. It's not that I don't enjoy looking nice-- more that my priorities are somewhere else. I struggle with this and know I need to do better, especially for my husband. But he knew this about me before he married me, so I figure it's part of the package. That doesn't mean I don't TRY to look in the mirror before he gets home from work... poor guy.

2. My house is usually a mess. I do know how to clean, but I don't do it as often as I should. Once a week, my place is completely spotless. I am really good at deep cleaning and getting the entire house sparkling, but I am terrible at keeping it that way. I have really lazy habits and tons of clutter. I am trying to teach my kids differently (because my husband is very well trained... thank you, Brandy!) but it's so hard to teach them when I don't have the skills myself. I am working on this. I am an ALL-or-NOTHING type of person and I wish I could be somewhere in between. I start a project and quickly move onto something else before finishing it.. Most days, I just don't make time for cleaning. I do enjoy cleaning, but usually end up spending 2 hours playing legos instead of doing dishes...that's exactly what happened today. and now I am busy typing instead of getting to work.. excuses, excuses.

3. I don't feed my kids consistently. They don't eat well-- they never really have and this is my fault. I usually don't think about food until one of them says, "I'm really hungry, mom!" As we speak, they are eating Froot Loops while watching Spongebob. This is their lunch.. and it's 6 pm. I know, I know, it's really bad. But we spend SO much time transforming boxes with paint, that we don't have time to eat! We snack a lot and love pb&j's. They aren't dying or anything (yet) but life would be much better if we had 3 square meals a day. I do have a weekly menu that I try to stick to, but when Aaron is gone for dinner, it's not so fancy. My husband does NOT help in this area either... he could care less about what he eats or when he eats it, so I am blaming him.

4. I have absolutely no rhythm. I cannot dance (or do anything musical, really.) I am handicapped in this area and I am jealous of anyone who is musically inclined. That doesn't mean I don't sing my heart out in sacrament meeting. but I would HATE to be the primary chorister or choir director. I am not tone deaf.. but I know when I have a talent... and singing, dancing, or anything that requires coordination is not a talent I was blessed with..

5. I have major control issues and I am really, really prideful. I know that PRIDE is the worst thing to have and I don't know how to get rid of it!! I like to do things myself because I think I can do them quicker and better than other people. It's an issue that I have struggled with since I was a little girl. A lot of people think that I control my husband and wear the pants in the family, and I can see why they think that, but Aaron is the one person who is in charge of me. He is the best example of humility and I respect him so much. My pride almost kept me from marrying him... (I wanted to be in control of who and when I got married..) But, thankfully, I have the opportunity to learn from him everyday.

6. I know I said I would only list 5, but this is a big one (and kind of goes with #5 anyway.) I am not a spiritual person. I know that some of you would disagree, but it's the truth. I think I used to be... but I have totally slacked and I can feel such a difference in my life! As great (and fun) as Nursery has been-- a year without spiritual training has been brutal on me. So much that I think I need to be released. I have lots of experiences in my home with feeling God's love, but 99% of it relates my family and 1% is personal. I have completely slacked and totally agree with whoever said that your spirituality isn't stagnant. Your testimony is either getting stronger or more weak and I cannot even tell you how weak I am! I know I need to do better and every night I tell myself that I will-- but I just don't do it. Christmas time is SUCH a great time to pick up again, don't you think?

Okay, that's it for now. Here are the RULES of this Tag. No comments disagreeing with what I said. I do not have low self-esteem and DO NOT want a compliment. If you comment with one, I will delete it! I was not fishing for anything... just wanted to post something REAL.

So, now that I have said my peace... here are the people I tag...










AS IF!


I hate tagging people for fun things and this was not about playing some kind of game.

Now that I have laid it out on the table.. what am I going to do about it? I will tell you. I am going to dedicate these weeks before Christmas to improving myself. I am going to take a break from blogging and all media sources for a bit. My personal rule for December is this-- no tv, radio, internet, movies, etc until I do the following each day:

1. Shower AND look presentable.. for myself and mostly for Aaron. (He will not know what to do with me.. sometimes when I get all dressed up, he comes home and says, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" Seriously.. he is going to freak if I shower everyday.)

2. Spend at least an hour each morning cleaning... really getting my house in order. This has to be done before my kids wake up because we all know I won't do it otherwise.

3. Have 3 meals planned each day. No winging it.. I will have a menu, buy necessary items at the store and get busy.

4. hmm.. what can I do to help my musical skills? Maybe take lessons from someone... or go to ward choir? I think not. I will just except that it's not my lot in life.. maybe I will pull out the old classical music CD's and listen while I clean.. that's enough for now!

5. Pray to be less prideful... and be more grateful for Aaron's example of humility and selflessness.

6. Personal scripture study, personal prayers, more meaningful fasts and a lot of repentance!

These are my goals until Christmas. I will NOT be blogging (or emailing) until these are done each day... I mean, how hard can it be to shower? No... in all reality, this is going to be REALLY difficult for me, but I can commit to do it and be diligent. Here I go to improve myself! Wish me luck!