roughing it

Question: What's worse than your 3-year-old throwing up at 1 am?

Answer: Your 3-year-old throwing up at 1 am, 2 am, 3 am 4 am....

I am not sure I am cut out for this motherhood thing anymore. I guess I should have taken a hint when Zack said his tummy didn't feel like eating dinner. I thought he was trying to weasel his way out of eating his broccoli. That kid has all kinds of tricks up his sleeve. I made him eat all of his broccoli- and then some. And he punished me later.

He originally fell asleep on the top bunk- which has never happened in the history of his 3 years. He sat up, threw up on himself, his favorite truck pillow and football blanket (and the rest of the bedding on the top bunk.) THEN he leaned over the railing and coated the bottom bunk with a second round. How fortunate am I that I had spent the entire day washing all of the bedding? Company had just left and I was feeling pretty good about having a spotless house. Suits me right. Zack is constantly making me say things such as, "I should have never cleaned that in the first place."


He does have a few good qualities though. Zack is still the family comedian and we can't get enough of silly statements. It's amazing that his enthusiasm can last ALL DAY long. Toward the end of the day (especially when I am making dinner) he can be so annoying. While making a mess instead of setting the table, I asked him if he needed to take a time out because he wasn't listening. He locked eyes with me and said, "Nope, but I will take a popsicle." It's those kind of sentences that keep me from disciplining him.

He has inherited the job of unloading the dishwasher. He does excellent, but usually gets side-tracked before its empty. I swear he has to go potty only when it's time to unload the dishwasher. The other day, Ben and Luke were finished with their chores and headed to the backyard to jump on the trampoline. Zack was just starting to tackle the dishwasher when he announced the he needed to use the bathroom. I rolled my eyes and told him to hurry up. He ran towards the direction of the bathroom, and then quietly turned the corner, and tiptoed back to the sliding glass door (which happens to be 3 steps away from the dishwasher.) He was slowly opening the door- ever so quietly- when I caught him. I said, "Zack, I thought you had to go to the bathroom." He gave a sly smile and said, "I was thinking about... (long pause) going pee outside?" The last three words turned that sentence into a question and I just couldn't help but laugh out loud. He knows that his personality gets him out of trouble, but I am trying to stick to my guns and not show how much I actually adore him.

In June, Zack had a big accident. He dropped the toilet seat on his boy parts. This has happened before-- several months ago, he came out from the bathroom explaining that the toilet hurt him for no reason. But apparently it didn't teach him the importance of pulling up his underwear before putting the seat down (or at least backing away from the toilet.) When it happened the second time, it was no laughing matter. I thought for a second that he wasn't going to be able to have children. He came running out from the bathroom unable to breathe. Seriously, it was scary. I laid him down on the couch and tried to examine the damage. It was bad. A large purple blood blister was forming, practically the size of the top of his penis. I tried to get a hold of Aaron, but he was unavailable. I probably should have taken him to the doctor. Instead, I iced it, told him a couple of stories and put him down for a nap. When he woke up, it looked much better. The blood had gone away, but it left a dark mark there for several weeks. Slowly, it got smaller and smaller. When we went camping two weeks ago (still have yet to post pictures) we sent Zack into the tent to change into his swimsuit. Minutes went by and we heard the zipper to the tent door open. Out comes a totally naked child with a HUGE smile on his face. His hands went up in the air and he shouted (for all those around us to hear) "MY WIENIE IS GETTING BETTER!" We all gave him a high-five and then sent him back into the tent to put clothes on. Looks like he might turn out normal, after all.

Zack is a total wiz on the computer. He knows most of the keys on the keyboard and if Ben and Luke tell him HOW to spell things, he can maneuver his way around. His favorite website lately is called Poptropica. He will turn on the computer, click on the internet, type in P-O-P in the search tab and then he knows the rest of the word will show up. He has to scroll down a few links to the site he wants, but he always knows where he's going. It's amazing. In fact, Ben and I were laughing the other day because Zack was typing out something slowly on the keyboard and Ben said, "Isn't it weird that he knows how to type, but he can't sing the alphabet song?" I didn't know he didn't know his ABC's. I asked Zack to try to sing it and he enthusiastically shouted, "A-B-C-D's" and then stopped and shrugged his shoulders. Poor kid has never been allowed to watch Sesame Street or Barney because those shows are too childish for his older brothers. It's too bad the characters on Star Wars don't bust out with the alphabet song while they are trying to save the galaxy.