Saturday, October 24, 2009

pumpkin patches, garage sales and throw up


Nothing says FALL like 84 degrees. We headed to the Vegas-style-parking-lot-pumpkin-patch in our t-shirts and shorts and enjoyed the sunshine. It was nothing special, but can you really celebrate Halloween without visiting a pumpkin patch? I don't think so.



I was going to let my husband have an afternoon out with the kids, but decided to go at the last minute. Aaron was thrilled that I joined them. Because on the drive home, I kindly forced asked him to stop at a garage sale. I could see they had lots of baby stuff and believe it or not, there are still some things I need. Reluctantly, Aaron pulled over and let me roam for a bit while he stayed in the van with the kids.

They were selling a super nice swing for cheap. I wanted to buy it, but mentioned to the garage sellers that I just couldn't because it was PURPLE. When they asked what was wrong with purple, I told them that I was having boy #4 and purple would never do. I could tell they were offended when they replied at the same time "We have all boys, too." I decided to shut my mouth and leave as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, when I returned to the car, my husband wasn't to be found. Neither was my three year old. Nope.. they were hiding on the other side of the van because Zack was throwing up all over the couple's drive way. Our van was blocking the throw up from the garage sellers-- but as soon as we moved, they would see the big present Zack left for them. I could not help but giggle as we quickly sped away. Both Aaron and I were cracking up, realizing how ghetto (and rude) we were. Ben asked why we didn't tell them that our kid had thrown up all over their driveway and that just made us laugh harder. Such terrible parents-- and human beings-- are we.

When we finally arrived home, I had to pee and ran into the house, not offering to carry in any of the pumpkins. While in the bathroom, there was a little knock and a voice through the crack of the door that said, "Um, mom! I need to throw up again."

I stood up as quickly as I could and unlocked the door for little Zack. As soon as he entered, he threw up ALL over me, particularly my pants and underwear that happened to be around my ankles. He said he was sorry in the sweetest little voice, and I was laughing so hard that I peed some more. Aaron came into the house with a few pumpkins in his arms. He saw his very pregnant wife standing in the hallway- naked from the waist down. It took me a minute to catch my breath and ask if someone could run upstairs and get me some clean clothes. Ben and Luke quickly responded. Aaron just shook his head and walked away. I guess such a manly-man can only handle so much excitement in one day...

18 comments:

The Simpson Family said...

Thanks for the laugh, a very visual story! Ps what babystuff do you need, maybe I have something you could use.

Jane said...

(laughing) It's all about karma. You speed away after your kid throws up in someone else's driveway without telling them, and low and behold-- he pukes on you.
I can't believe no baby yet! You'll probably have him as soon as I leave town for the week. :-) Can't wait to meet the new Shumway boy!

janet said...

I totally KNEW it was karma when I was standing in the hallway half naked. I think that's why I thought it was so funny... I didn't know you were leaving town, Jane! No!

And hi Rae! how ARE you? I still need all the big stuff. We ended up getting rid of everything bulky over the years. Swing, high chair, etc. Obviously I don't need it NOW, but I will want it eventually. I hate buying it when you use it for such a short time (and then have to store it later...) I will probably try to borrow as much as I can. Or buy it cheap at garage sales (as long as it's not purple.)

Emilee said...

That was the funniest thing I've heard all day! And visual, yes, it was visual.

Stacy said...

I busted up reading that. Only you----

Sheri said...

What a wonderfully hysterical (and somewhat horrifying) story! Honestly... who buys a purple swing for their little baby boy? Not I! Puking Karma... I'm going to have to keep that one in mind. I don't handle being thrown up on very well.

janet said...

To be a little more detailed--- All Zack had between episode #1 in the drive way and episode #2 in the bathroom was Sprite. So it really wasn't THAT disgusting. But I wasn't about to put my pants back on, that's for sure.

And he didn't really throw up ON their driveway-- more like the road right in front of their driveway. Either way, whoever showed up next at their garage sale might have had a second thought about stopping to buy anything.

I shouldn't still be laughing, should I?

vickersfam said...

oh man, that was a good laugh. I don't think I could dare post such a personal, even though hilarious, story on my blog. You're a brave woman, and probably richer now too. ;) You could always throw up on Zack while you're in labor and blame it on karma.
You're boys (maybe not Aaron) are so sweet to run and get you new clothes...or maybe they didn't want to see you standing naked in the hallway?!

becks said...

I know this must have really happened, but SERIOUSLY? Oh my goodness, I laughed so hard.

becks said...

and I must also say that I LOVE to read something when I can hear the writer's voice saying every word. it would have been much better to hear it in person because of the story-teller that you are. But it was still hilarius :)

Amelia said...

Ohhhhh that funny and sad. And funny and then sad a little more. Thanks for giving me a laugh this morning!

Hibbard Family said...

I love that you lock your door when you pee... Because we all know there is no such thing as a private bathroom time with kids unless you actually love them out!

Lee and Marie said...
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Lee and Marie said...
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Lee and Marie said...

Hey Janet... love reading your blog! I wanted to comment because my friend posted a discount code for blurb. It's a coupon code for 20% off your order plus free shipping. The code is BLURBTREAT. I know you usually do a book a year so I thought this might be useful. You may have received one as well but thought I would pass it on! I think you're so cute pregnant! I can't wait to see pictures and hear how things go!

Brandon and Lindsay said...

Ha! I read your comments on my blog, then read this post. You're right - our lives are eerily similar in so many ways! Sorry you got puked on! Oh the joys of motherhood, huh?

Anonymous said...

Janet, I'm glad you have such a good time at Halloween. You're great. I love your costumes over all the years. You guys are such a cute family. I love all of you & can't wait to see the sweet, new, baby. Love, Mom

karlin said...

only you would laugh after getting puked on! i'm still laughing about the purple swing!