not this cute anymore!Simon getting his first tutorial in the game of chess
(the 60 second video version can be found on our other blog.)
(the 60 second video version can be found on our other blog.)
Many people ask me if I am worried whether my boys will turn out NERDY because I homeschool. I realize the "socialization factor" is a big issue for many people who consider homeschooling. I think the whole topic is bogus. Who says that sending kids to school makes them cool? I knew plenty of geeks in my high school. They were probably raised by socially-inept parents.
Truth be told, I am proud of my little nerds. They are nice, obedient, calm and intelligent. Who cares if they happen to wear their pants a little higher than other kids their age? I figure if I raise them nerdy, they will grow up to be respectful teenage boys who find only nice (nerdy) girls to date. In fact, my ultimate goal as a mother is to raise SUCH DWEEBS that they won't stand a chance with the shallow, snobby "popular" girls. I want to guarantee I WON'T have one of those for a daughter-in-law....
Truth be told, I am proud of my little nerds. They are nice, obedient, calm and intelligent. Who cares if they happen to wear their pants a little higher than other kids their age? I figure if I raise them nerdy, they will grow up to be respectful teenage boys who find only nice (nerdy) girls to date. In fact, my ultimate goal as a mother is to raise SUCH DWEEBS that they won't stand a chance with the shallow, snobby "popular" girls. I want to guarantee I WON'T have one of those for a daughter-in-law....
This is EXACTLY why we teach them to play CHESS
before they are old enough to hold up their own head.
before they are old enough to hold up their own head.
PS. I am so glad I documented this particular chess game because Ben has been on a major winning streak and Luke finally conquered! It's unbelievable that I haven't been able to beat Ben-- when I am seriously playing my best. (and I am not bad for a girl.. I was in the chess club in elementary school.)
PPS. my cell is finally fixed. I am texting as fast as my little fingers will allow. Except NEVER, ever, EVER while driving. That Oprah freaked me out.
PPS. my cell is finally fixed. I am texting as fast as my little fingers will allow. Except NEVER, ever, EVER while driving. That Oprah freaked me out.
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28 comments:
I love a good nerdy and polite kid!
EVERY TIME i have been in the car I have had to make a conscience effort to put my phone AWAY! That was agreat show. I love her. Why does she have to leave?
Love it! I still need to learn, so I can teach my kiddo's! Here's to raising Nerds!!!
Janet, I think you are the special type of person who can raise children who will not be shunned because they were (gasp) homeschooled!
But sadly, there is a stereotype because there are many (dare I say the majority?) homeschooling moms who are not like you.
Take for instance, the sweet ten-year-old girl who can give you blow-by-blow break downs of each of her mother's c-sections, which of her siblings were good nursing babies, how long until her mother started her periods after she quit nursing. That is not normal ten-year-old behavior. It's one thing to be mature, it's something completely different to skip childhood. She never seeks out children to play with, she seeks out adults to "converse" with.
Your boys are good kids, but they are still kids.
The second child in the same familiy is six, and can not tell you if the letter B comes before or after the letter C. He has a SERIOUS learning disability, but his mother has not and will not seek help. She's afraid that by allowing other people to "teach" him, he will pick up inappropriate knowledge. No one in their homescool co-op is capable of serving his needs.
There is so much WRONG with that siutation.
As you've said many times, homeschooling is not for everyone. Sadly, most of the homeschooling moms I know (and there is a huge population in Houston) are not capable of raising well-educated, socially competent children. They think by coddling their children, keeping them seperate from society, they are protecting them from the ills of the world. In some cases, like the one I cited above, they are causing more harm than good.
I'm sure you know dozens of homeschooling moms who are incredibly talented, competent teachers and who are "normal" adults. But there are hundreds more homeschoolers out there who do not measure up to you and your friends.
You set a great example, and I hope that all the homeschooling moms out there find your blog and learn from it.
Janet,
I like you and I like the way you do things for your family. Can my daughter marry one of your boys? She is well on her way of becoming a nice, nerdy girl...and I love it! :)
Thanks for your comment Becky. Before I had become one of those weird homeschooling mothers, I thought everyone who did it was weird, but I would say the MAJORITY of homeschooling mothers (and I've met a lot) are competent, dedicated women who do an excellent job of socializing their children.
And although the situations you mentioned above do seem a bit "odd" I think you are assuming that homeschooling these kids made them weird..
Whose to say what is acceptable or "normal" ten year old girl behavior? I have known a few "normal" girls who exclude their friends, start cliques, want boyfriends, french kiss, etc. etc. What is "WRONG" with a medical discussion about C-sections or nursing? Whose to say that she wouldn't still be interested in these types of discussions if she went to school? That is factual (and quite interesting) information. Maybe she will become a doctor or a lactation specialist-- and just happens to be drawn to that type of conversation. Do I think her mother robbed her of her childhood because she's mature? Some children are just born older.
I am not sure if I can comment on her younger brother and his learning disabilities. I don't think it's our place to judge whether or not parents are doing an adequate job raising their children. We can offer support and love but labeling and/or judging isn't going to do anyone ANY good.
I can GUARANTEE that many of the most nobel, brilliant, most influential leaders in history were not "normal" children. Albert Einstein, Beethoven, Isaac Newton, Louis Pasteur, da Vinci, the list could go on and on. I think one of the biggest issues the children of today face is "popularity"... they try so hard to fit in and be normal that they neglect to be themselves. How sad would it be if Einstein stopped talking and learning about physics because it wasn't socially accepted?
Oh dear... I hope I fit the non-inept home schooling parent category but I wonder after some of the comments... my daughter may be who the above was describing... and my boys blew up your photo of the boys playing chess and disected the game, determining what the next moves should be and totally knew how to end the game... I can not beat my boys in Chess anymore either and I taught them how to play.
Go elementary school chess club!!
I just LOVE your blog, Janet. I've been reading for about a year now. I just had my first child (a boy!) and I hope I have three more. You make it sound like a party!
And @Becky - just because you know a couple of weird kids doesn't make you an expert on what "the majority" of the homeschooling community is like.
I was homeschooled for two years and had a ball (I went back to "regular" school because I required a bit more structure; my two siblings, however, were homeschooled up through high school and are now in college). In those two years I learned the medical names for all the muscles in the face and learned some Latin, too. No, I was never popular and I married a man who wasn't ever popular, either. The "socialized" girls I went to school with are a conglomeration of college dropouts and single parents. I used to think I was the weird one but now I realize that I am the only one around here who is sane.
Janet,
My wife married a nerd...and if your boys want either of our two daughters we can just arrange the marriage right now, no questions asked.
--Jason
I am so glad to have you as a reader Beth.. even if you were unpopular as a child :)
Becky, I want to make sure that you don't feel attacked. I REALLY really appreciate your comments and I want everyone to feel comfortable enough to state their opinion.
All I was trying to say is that making assumptions or jumping to conclusions is never a good thing. Just because something is socially acceptable in our society doesn't make it good or right. And just because something is weird or different doesn't make it wrong. I think I can safely say that the MAJORITY of parents are trying their best to raise their kids-- no matter what method they chose. There is no doubt in my mind that some homeschooling parents screw up their kids forever, but they didn't intend to do so. We need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. If we judge others, our children will learn to do the same..
Jason, were do I sign?
leave it to janet to write an innocent post about her kids playing chess and it will turn into yet another controversial subject. what is it with you these days?
I will admit that my opinion of homeschoolers has drastically changed since I've known you. it's amazing that we are appawled by parents who teach their children at home when there are many of us (myself included) who are too selfish to think about it. I can't give up my free time and so I send them off. I may or may not think it's best for them, but I can't even consider the alternative because I need ME time.
leave it to becks (not Becky) to label all parents who send their kids to school as selfish. You are going to offend the MAJORITY of my readers. Of this, I am sure.
I am APPAWLED that some parents don't know how to spell appalled.
I'm sorry if my comment seemed judgemental. And I don't feel attacked. We can all voice our opinions! Right?
I also don't want to be seen as an outsider. I have three aunts, two cousins, and half a dozen close friends (people I interact almost daily) that homeschool.
Some of them do a really great job. Their children are well-behaved and a pleasure to have in my home. Others...not so much.
Janet, You do an exceptional job letting your kids be kids. They play games, they know about Star Wars, they goof around with food. I can't imagine anything more normal.
But there wouldn't be a stereotype if moms like you were in the majority. And from my personal expience--which I admit is not vast, I KNOW and have been in the home of 20 homeschoolers total--very few do homeschooling as well as you.
So, I guess my point is keep it up! Maybe by sharing information through your blog, more homeschoolers (the 20 I know included) and bystanders will see how good homeschooling could be.
I understand where you are coming from. But a lot of those homeschooling relatives wouldn't agree with the way you raise your kids.. neither is wrong or right. There ARE worse problems than a six year old not knowing his alphabet.
I am doing about 10% of what could be done in a homeschooling situation. My kids don't do music, a foreign language, and a bazillion other things that other parents do. Am I glad they want to play Star Wars instead of Mozart's 5th? Of course not. Does it make them more socially acceptable? I suppose it does.
I am raising a typical ten year old girl. She is obsessed with hannah montana, Bratz dolls and webkinz. She is constantly asking for newer clothes because they aren't what the cool girls wear. She and her friends are constantly fighting.
I am wondering where I can trade her for the girl who discusses C-sections and nursing. I honestly didn't know that you didn't have your period while nursing until I was 24 years old. How come no one told me this? It was the best surprise I received after my baby was born. :) TMI?
Or maybe all the "weirdos" are related to me?
Shannon- that was definitely not TMI. TMI is stating that even though you nurse your kids, you start your period 6 weeks after each baby is born-- all four of them... it's so not fair.
I am wondering why someone didn't tell me about THRUSH before I had my fourth baby. It's been my worst nightmare. But I'll save that for another post on another day.
Ha, Janet, that was me too. 6 weeks after each baby was born, six times. I actually had been told that you wouldn't have a cycle if you were nursing, so I was a little frightened when I started after my first. Oh well.
And I agree with your post. I'm raising five nerdy-and-proud-of-it boys. I homeschool until fifth grade (compromise with the hubs) and so far they have transitioned well into public school. #3 not quite as well, but he is ubernerdy. Honestly, he would be ubernerdy whether he had been home- or public-schooled. He read the whole Harry Potter series by the time he was 7 (there were only 5 then, I believe). He reads textbooks for fun. It's just who he is.
My older two are more 'normal'. I often hear that my boys are polite, kind and respectful. I think socialization has as much (or more?) to do with 1) how the parents are and 2) the child's innate personality, than it does with going to public school.
Karina
Karina- I LOVE that we can "chat" about homeschooling. For those of you who don't know Mom of 5 Boys, let me introduce one of my favorite YW leaders who now lives far away. Blogs are awesome for this very reason.
I guess the positive side to starting your cycle after having a baby is that you could possibly get pregnant with a 6 week old. we are so fortunate.
do you really have to talk about your periods on this blog?
excuse me, anonymous, but here is where I start a fight.
I can talk about whatever I want whenever I want to talk about it. I will post a picture of my placenta if I darn well feel like it. I am not forcing a gun at your head making you read it. If it offends you, read someone else's blog.
and if you really want to have the balls to discuss something, be bold enough to state your name. (and by using the term balls, I assume you are a man.)
if your so bothered by anonymous comments, why do allow people to comment this way?
Because some people chose to be anonymous for other reasons than being a coward......
I am laughing, wondering if I am fighting with my brother. Kev-- is it you?
Anyway, I am off to have lunch with my husband. Thanks for the great discussion this morning. Let's get back to the homeschooling topic at hand. Nerds vs Teen pregnancy: Which future would you pick for your child?
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!!!!!! loved the coward comment, jan! ouch!
Janet,
I adore how open minded and peace making you are.
I send my kids to public school but I also "homeschool" them. Not in the technical sense that this discussion is about...but I try my best in the hours I have them home to teach all the things they don't get taught in school and "un-teach" many of the things they do.
Janet, if you could write a textbook about all your wisdom, in all of that extra time that I'm sure you have lying around, I'd really appreciate it!
Hey Jany...If you want to talk thrush, give me a call. I'd discuss it here and now, but, I wouldn't want to gross out anonymous!! Love you--Aunt Karen
P.S. I's so glad you took the opportunity to correctly spell appalled!!
sorry--I am so glad...
I've thought about homeschooling for a long time but it didn't seem right at the time. My little Leah is having a hard time seeing why she has to learn new things! Mama no likey. The other day I was thinking about what it would be like to homeschool kids of different ages and it seemed RIGHT. We will have to chat about it one of these days...in person...not where anonymous commenters can judge me ;)
Anyways, the real reason I was commenting is because I don't watch Oprah, but your post made me curious, so I watched the episode. Very intriguing I must say! I definitely feel compelled to stay off my phone while driving! I don't really text much but I have noticed my talking while driving skills are poor. I'm not going to sign up for her pledge though, that's where I draw the Oprah line.
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