three things I learned at the gym...

Last night I had my first official workout since Simon was born. Nine weeks is longer than I've waited with the others, but 4 kids has done a NUMBER on me. I typically enjoy working out in the mornings (the BEST time of day) but mornings are no good when you don't sleep well. So at 9 pm, when Aaron arrived home from work, I packed my things and headed solo to the gym. While there, I learned three things. Actually, I believe I knew all these things before going to the gym, but they were SOLIDIFIED during my workout.

#1. I have absolutely zero fashion sense. I've known for years that the gym is a meat-market for the shallow single people. Girls love to do their hair pretty and wear make-up so they can look hot while sweating it off. I have no issues with this. But the outfits the women were (not) wearing seriously threw me for a loop! Not a single girl I saw had a shirt on. I didn't get the memo that sports bras with little straps (one size too small) were the new trend. I actually thought about taking my baggy t-shirt off so I could blend in. And whatever happened to the old pair of cut-off sweats-shorts? Did they go out of style with leg warmers and blue eyeshadow? Apparently so. My elliptical machine was directly behind a young woman who wore TIGHT see-through leggings. I kid you not. I could clearly see her black pair of thong underwear as though she were wearing no leggings at all. Did she KNOW her shorts were transparent? Should I tell her I can see her naked butt? I asked myself that very question the entire 28 minutes I was behind her behind.

#2. I have absolutely zero interior decorating skills. again, I thought I knew this before I arrived, but now I am 100% certain. As I tried to steer my eyes away from Miss Thong-Butt, I found myself interested in the HGTV channel on the flat screen to my left. I watched as a couple went through their home with an interior designer. They did a panoramic view of every room in the house. But without the sound from the television, I literally COULD NOT decipher if the house was in the BEFORE or AFTER stage of the remodel. If it was BEFORE, every room should be a disgrace. But I didn't notice any problems. The living area had funky green chairs and a mismatching shag rug. The white drapes in the bedroom looked vintage and expensive. The bathroom had cool blue and green checkered tile on the walls. Was this a good or a bad thing???? I did not know. If it was AFTER an amazingly expensive remodel, it should have knocked my socks off. But my socks remained on. I am dead serious, people. I've GOT to know if floral wallpaper is IN or OUT. If it's out, I think it should come back in.

#3 Lady Gaga is insanely groovy. It doesn't matter what song she's singing, it will make you get your groove on. I liked her before my workout, but now I am in love. I realize she's a bit... odd (she was probably the inspiration behind the invisible workout pants) but one cannot listen to Bad Romance without moving. What is it about nonsense words and a funky beat that makes you want to take it up 5 notches? Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah. Roma, roma-ma, Ga-ga, ooh la la..... this Lady brings out the freak in me. and I rather like it.

ps. I love (and appreciate) the circumcision discussion below. Please don't let this nonsense-of-a-post distract you from commenting on a more serious subject. I'm getting closer to a decision but still praying about it. more on that later.

pps. Simon is two months old today. no need for cake/balloons/pictures, but I think it's worth mentioning. We can all thank him for this post written at 4 am. Babies can be so fussy sometimes.

LABELS: exercise, what do interior decorators know anyway?, thongs, disgusting, Lady Gaga, HGTV, wallpaper: IN or OUT?, Two months already!