Wacky Zacky

In the last three days, Zack has:

• painted his fingernails blue
  
• covered the bathroom sink and toilet with the same blue polish.
  
• thrown approximately 50 sopping wet cotton balls on the mirror while trying to clean up the finger nail polish mess... (I cleaned up 99% of it and left 1% for him... he didn't have the attention span for 1% of anything.) Did you know wet cotton balls stick to mirrors? Now you do.
• tried to light a match while hiding behind the dining room curtains. When I found him, he said, "I found this box of matches. And that means I can light them wherever I want." I don't think so, buddy.
• coated his entire head with hair gel. I thought it was shampoo because it was literally soapy with so much goop. He insisted it wasn't shampoo-- it was "JELLO", aka gel.
• sprayed the kitchen down with the sink sprayer.
• drawn several pictures with permanent markers, when he knows they are off limits. Luckily (this time) they were on paper.
• fed Simon a marble.
  
• flopped his body on the ground and announced, "I'm too tired" when it was time to unload the dishwasher, make his bed, clean up toys, brush his teeth, set the table...etc.
• tied three kitchen chairs together with a single piece of yarn.
  
• refused to eat several meals that he normally loves.
• cut up a hundred different pieces of paper and made "tickets" to enter his bedroom and "invitations" to his birthday party.
  
• dumped out a package of goldfish in our living room.
• sprayed his arms and legs with a bottle of cockroach killer.

After one of the above mentioned disasters, I found myself losing my cool and screamed, "ZACHARY!" His name is not Zachary, but I figured it was better to extend his name than call him a swear word. The little disaster came running toward me and cheerfully said, "Don't call me Zachary. Just call me Wacky Zacky."

Guess what, Wacky Zacky? I am about to ship you off to Iraqi.