Animal Man and Mr. Weirdo

Last September, I had my boys draw self-portraits. I thought it would be fun to do this at the beginning of each school year and see how they think they've changed-- or if their artistic skills have improved over the year.

Soon after the assignment was given, I had to clean up a big mess upstairs (Zack had sprayed liquid sunscreen on the boys closet mirrors...) By the time I came back downstairs, my older boys were giggling hysterically over their self-portraits. Let me introduce you to Animal Man and Mr. Weirdo:

Animal Man has Ben's eyes,elephant ears, a pig nose, a duck beak, one reindeer antler, rhinoceros horns, a giraffe neck, monkey arms, a porcupine body, a skunk tail, flamingo legs, and a dog collar with his name on it.

Mr. Weirdo has a round head and brown eyes like Luke... but he is growing grass for hair and has an entire city on his noggin... (complete with a ferris wheel and park). He has lightning ears, a smile that circles back to his nose and a rainbow mustache. If that isn't weird, I don't know what is.

After showing me his picture, Luke wanted to know why WEIRD doesn't follow the "I before E except after C" rule. I told him I don't know.. the English language itself is just plain weird.

I smiled at their "self-portraits" and then swatted their hands with a wooden ruler for not following directions. Psych! Instead, I gave them an even worse-er punishment. I made them draw pictures of their future wives. Oh, yes I did. And they groaned the entire time. I told them that if they made them ugly or crazy, they would end up marrying someone ugly or crazy. Here are the finished portraits:

Ben wants a brunette with kissable lips. He also likes freckles, pimples and/or measles. After handing it in and getting an A++ (the best grade you can get in our school) he decided he would like her with longer hair. These extensions are rather obvious.
Luke likes pale blondes with pointy noses. Oh, and he would prefer her to wear lots of mascara and lipstick.
Zack's wife does have a chin, but it was too light for the scanner to pick up. His wife has a baby face and exactly three eyelashes on each eye. He specifically stated that he wants a girl with blue eyes on the outside and lots of yellow in the middle. I like a man who knows what he wants!

After they finished coloring (and I finished loading the dishes and mopping the kitchen floor) we sat around the table and ate lunch. Zack was ever so thoughtful when he said, "But what if we meet our wife and she doesn't look anything like our picture of her?" I told them they will all be very LUCKY if they didn't turn out the way their pictures did. This discussion lead to our writing assignment after lunch. I asked them to turn their pictures over and make a list of qualities they would like their wives to have.. because we all know looks aren't everything. I just LOVED what they came up with....

Luke's list:

Ben's list:

Zack didn't make a list, but he did say that he would really like it if his wife jumps on the trampoline with him. I told him I bet she will.

Homeschooling can be exhausting, stressful and emotionally draining. But there are so many benefits... so many paydays. Reading "not spending money" on my son's list of qualities that he wants in a woman was a BIG one today. We called Daddy and read the lists over the phone. Daddy said, "Ben, you are wise beyond your years." These pictures will definitely go in the archives next to the letters to their future wife. Here's to hoping they find the women of their dreams!

PS. Anyone know how to get sunscreen off of a mirror?