Bedtime LOVE

I can't believe it's the LAST day of January.  How did that happen? It's 6 am in Vegas and I've been up for a while.  Usually at this time I would be bundled up on my balcony watching the sun come up, but my hair is damp from a 5 am bubble bath, so I'm going to watch it cuddled up in my bed.  And I've missed blogging so here I am.

I get asked if I am still a PARENTING COACH and the answer is YES!  What I do is actually more of a life coach, because we can use techniques for anything you're struggling, not just relationships with your kids.  I am not an expert, but I do believe that looking at the situation with fresh eyes and applying the tools I have can improve any situation or relationship.  Anyway, if you need a kickstart to your February or struggle feeling motivated, reach out to me. I am really hoping to start some group coaching soon, because so many of our issues are related.  Until then, I am going to do a few parenting blog posts.  Email me your parenting questions (janetleeshumway@gmail.com) and I will give you my best advice.  And then we can all learn from each other.

I'm going to pick a general topic today--  BEDTIME!

Bedtime is a struggle because everyone is tired and grumpy.  We've had a long day and we just want the kids to get in bed and stay there.  Unfortunately, most of time our cute little kids hit the pillow after they've been yelled at, spanked or scolded.  and then we go to sleeping feeling like a bad parent.  It's not fair that we try hard all day to be nice and patient and then we lose it all at bedtime.  No one wants to fall asleep on a negative note.  So let's change that.

Bedtime doesn't have to be a bad experience.  I know it is a lot of the time, but we have all the power in our own hands to make it magical and a time where we can connect with our kids.  With just a few simple changes both you and your kids can go to sleep feeling better about your day and your relationship with each other.  But you have to put in a little effort.

My simple advice is to change YOUR attitude about bedtime.  Stop thinking about it in a negative way.  Try to see it as the most magical time of your day and plan for it to be that way.  It's not going to go smoothly every night, but you are the creator of the environment in your home.  I LOVE  bedtime.. I start planning for it as soon as I wake up because I love it that much. 😜

What do you want your bedtime environment to look like?  Start creating a more peaceful environment.  Maybe that's by lighting a candle and bringing it into your kids bedrooms and letting it flicker while you say goodnight to them.  Maybe that's buying a diffuser and dropping a couple of nightime oils and make the room smell good.  Maybe it's putting on quiet, peaceful music and humming along as you set out school clothes for the next day.  Maybe it's reading the same book every night.  Or talking about the best part of your day.  Or taking a moment to tickle your child's back.  If you get annoyed that they want a drink or a snack or whatever, plan for it in advance!  Put a drink of water next to their bed and watch their eyes light up when you tell them Yes!  of course you can get a drink.  In fact, I got one for you!  Not everyone will let their kids drink before bedtime, but you get what I am saying.  My daughter seems to get really testy at bedtime, so I have to spend extra time with her.  She loves having curls in her hair, so I try to make time to put in rollers and talk with her about her day.  If you've got a relationship with a child that is strained right now think of something kind for them you can do at bedtime.  if you;re waking on eggshells and everything you say or do backfires, stick a love note under their pillow.

The truth is, as parents we project our negative feelings about bedtime onto our kids.  They want attention and love and connection.  Usually we don't want to give it because we are tired.  But if you go into it trying to love and connect with them, it will change your world.  Wake up with the intention to make your bedtime routine a good one.  Plan ahead, think of ways YOU can make it more peaceful and loving and then start getting excited for it!  When you are excited and happy and patient, your kids will follow your lead.  Maybe not right away, but eventually.  Keep working at it until you've created what you want.

And obviously, nothing goes as planned.  But go with the flow.  Try to stay relaxed and open to connection.  Look at your kids in the eyes.  Lay down by them for a few minutes.  Make the effort because it's so worth it.  But don't beat yourself up if it turns out to be a disaster.  Parenting is not about being perfect, or having perfect kids.  It's about showing up and looking for opportunities to help one another.  Bedtime is the perfect opportunity for love and connection.  and as you improve day by day your confidence levels will rise.  You are the right parent for your child.  They are in your home for a reason. Learn from each other.

Take some time today to think of reasons why you love your kids and let them know at bedtime!  As you are adjusting to new bedtime routines, plan for a little extra time.  So start earlier if you can or take a little nap today so you will be more rested at the end of the day.

Good luck and let me know if you see any changes in your home!

PS.  You don't have to have young kids to improve your bedtime routine.  If you're kids are grown or you've got a bedroom to yourself, upgrade your environment to make things more peaceful!  Straighten up, light some candles, turn on good music and plug your cell phones somewhere away from your bed!

This cotton candy sunrise is happening outside my bedroom window.  I'm already looking forward to the sunset!