pros and cons of Homeschooling

By popular demand (okay, only 3 people requested it) I have written a pros and cons list of HOMESCHOOLING. It is long and may be somewhat redundant.. so beware. For most of you who know me, know that I don't feel like it's bad to put your kids in school and honestly don't think there is anything wrong with the public school system (except that it SUCKS! jk) For those of you who are the least bit interested in educating at home, this post is for YOU!! Read through it, ask questions, comment or email me personally. I am 100% behind anyone who thinks they are up to the task and will encourage all those who want to join the homsechooling club! The numbers are growing... so jump on the band wagon! I would advise anyone who's thinking about it to understand what they are getting themselves (and their family) into, so here's my thorough list of the good, the bad and the ugly. I am starting out with the ugly.

• Exhaustion - Homeschooling is a FULL time job. It takes research, preparation, organization, time to set up, clean up, and of course, do the teaching. It takes a lot of energy to homeschool, and that energy has to come from somewhere. Don’t ask me where! I just wish I could hire a maid (and personal grocery shopper!) to do everything else on my list! Getting burned out is common for me. I usually have to take some time off and come back when I am ready to take on the world!
• Guilt – I once heard that homeschooling mothers are the most guilty. They always feel like they aren’t doing enough at home, but they feel guilty after sending them to school. This is probably the worst thing about homeschooling for me. It keeps me up at night and almost makes me want to think about sending my kids to school. Am I doing what is best for my kids? Will I screw them up forever? Am I teaching them what they need to learn? If I ever overcome the guilt, it will be through a lot of prayer.. and just by telling myself everyday that I am trying to do what is best for them. Hopefully someday they will know that I did it for their benefit.
• Comparisons - We all do it. We look at what others are doing, compare ourselves, and usually feel bad about what we're NOT doing. No two families homeschool the same, but I often compare myself to other homeschooling moms and always seem to fall short. We have an INCREDIBLE homeschooling group in this area! Which is great, but also makes me feel like I am not up to par. Comparisons kind of goes along with feeling guilty, but it deserves two bullet points!!
• No time for yourself - When you are with your kids 24/7 you can go a little crazy. Having time alone usually is on the bottom of the “to do” list. Motherhood has always been this way for me, but adding school to the mix makes it even harder to get time to relax and be alone.. and the sad part is, I usually use my alone time to read an education book or do lesson plans! If you have a difficult time being around your kids all day, then don’t homeschool! It can literally make you insane! Aaron worries about me—because sometimes by the end of the day, I am not very nice.
• Financial issues – We buy all our materials and sometimes it’s hard to know how much is too much (or enough.) Experimenting with a curriculum that doesn’t seem to interest your child can be frustrating. Before you buy something, make sure to do your research. Ask other homeschooling parents about what they use and if they like it. But you will still probably end up buying something that doesn’t work. It can be expensive and sometimes your husband won’t think that you NEED what you really do NEED!
• PAPER – as lame as this sounds, paper is a big stress in my life! There is always so much of it and I can’t decide if I should file it away or burn it! The boys each have a binder of things that are priceless… and then a drawer of things they don’t want to throw away, but it’s still always weighing on me! I don't have a "school room", so my kitchen table is often filled with paper and I cringe when it’s dinner time. I am getting irritated just talking about it! Next.
• Class parties – another lame issue, but it’s one I feel bad about. I loved having class parties and doing fun things at school. I try to compensate by throwing our own parties at home. I am not sure if they are better or worse than what the school can pull off, but I would think better. Can you have a slip and slide on the trampoline at a school party? I think not.
• Friends – this goes along with the fun, social part of school. I am sure there are friends in their classes that they will never meet because they don’t attend school. But this hardly ever worries me. We have a lot of friends. We are involved in a fun group with tons of kids their ages who all live within a couple of miles from our home. Our neighbor kids always come to our house to play and they are hardly ever asking for more interaction. I can see this being a con if you are a mom who doesn’t venture out and find satisfaction in meeting new people. And I am sure as time goes by, my kids will be in need of other kids their age, but right now we are coping just fine!
• All the housework! - It is hard to keep up with routine chores when much of the week is devoted to school. I like to include my kids in the housework because cleaning is a very important lesson.. (but this usually means that my house doesn’t get cleaned the way it should!) I have never been good at keeping a clean, organized home… and I really want to change it! Never say never!
• Quality of Education – many people argue that some mothers aren’t equipped to teach at home.. especially those without an educational degree. This may be true, but the statistics show otherwise. Homeschooling children usually score higher and are usually educationally advanced. I don’t believe this has much to do with how the parent teaches, but more with the environment in which they are taught.. (sorry if this sounds like it is a pro—it definitely can be a con.) DO NOT be discouraged about being able to teach your own children! You have already taught them successfully this far- you can do it! And there are plenty of resources out there to help if you are frustrated!
• Living outside the norm - I don’t consider myself (or my husband) to be extreme or weird, but when we tell people that we homeschool, we get THE look. Of course, I understand why.. I am sure I felt the same way a few years ago. Homeschooling is not “normal”. Everyone sends their kids to school, so I understand that we’re different.. but sometimes I feel as though we get classified with the polygamists or Quakers. Just because we homeschool doesn’t mean we’re not cool. I tell my kids that all the time. We are friendly and fun and not afraid to make new friends.. but it can be awkward when talking to others about it (and I am sure it will be an issue when our kids are older and are labeled as the “homeschooled kids”) We will cross that bridge when we come to it.
• The SOCIALIZATION factor – this is the topic that the world wants to talk about. Everyone seems worried about the socialization factor. I am putting it on the CONS side because I believe many people see it as a negative effect of homeschooling, but I strongly disagree. I do not think that sending your child to school makes them social or automatically popular. There are many kids at school that are socially backward and this is probably because their parents are socially backward. These kids don't automatically become socialized when they go to school.. they are the ones that don’t fit in. and what makes it even more ironic is that the “socially fit” children find it “socially acceptable” to tease them or make them feel not included. Some children are born shy and some outgoing.. the school environment is best for the outgoing ones because they are cool. Luckily I was cool at school (jk) I do not stress about this or think my kids will suffer from being at home because frankly, Aaron and I are cool. My kids are fun, polite and very silly. With that said, they are also shy and definitely on the nerdy side.. is that because they are homeschooled or because they were born nerdy? I personally don’t care… but I thought the topic was worth mentioning.
  

• Open Curriculum - we can study what we want, when we want (and it is almost always what the kids are interested in.. so it seems to stick with them.) We can spend weeks (or months) learning about a certain subject and go into as much detail as they can handle. We also don’t have to jump from subject to subject just because the bell rings. Sometimes we DO have to stop because it’s dinnertime (or bedtime) though!
• Flexibility - This is HUGE for me. We can take a vacation whenever during the off season and never have to stress about taking a week off when we have the flu. Our calendar is wide open and we are sometimes very sporadic about when to hop in the car and take a road trip. If only Aaron’s job was more flexible!!
• Student/teacher ratio. It’s 3/1 in my house and when Zack is down for a nap it’s 2/1. Many times during the day Ben has a question about something that Luke is not studying.. this is very one on one. Personal time can be given on any subject with which they struggle (or excel.)
• Time (reason #1) - I spend about an hour a day homeschooling.. sometimes we get carried away and go for two or three, but that is only when we are enthralled. The rest of the day is for playing. They are only little once and they aren’t wasting any of their time waiting for the fun to happen. My kids play hard—and sleep well! I can’t imagine them spending so much of their time in school! It’s just too long!
• Time #2- although it takes time to homeschool, I believe it saves me more. I don’t spend my days driving children to and from school and never set my watch according to the bus schedule. Our day is open and free and this allows us to have quality time— to do whatever we want! I usually don’t ever feel like I am in a time crunch. I don’t rush out the door while yelling at my kids to hurry up. We try to be on time for whatever is planned (story time at the library or other scheduled events) but I rarely find myself frustrated that we are going to be late. I believe this makes me a more relaxed mother. Now Sundays are a different story! I am always in a rush to get breakfast made and get out the door… I can’t imagine being this way every day of the week!
• Getting my own education – I LOVED my public school experience and was able to graduate from college but I after all these years, I am finally learning! Sometimes I read a little too much about bugs and dinos, but the info is sticking with me because it’s all hands on.. I am now very excited to go back to school to receive a master’s degree. I finally have an enthusiasm to gain more knowledge.
• Frequent field trips. How many schools do you know that have a weekly field trip? Some of my favorite teaching moments have come on the way home from an adventure! There are so many places to go that don’t cost a penny.. the fire station, dairy, horse ranch… etc. And the best part about our field trips is that the museums and parks are EMPTY because everyone else is in school! Summer is usually frustrating for me because everything is more crowded!
• A schedule that works – Ben is an early bird and likes to get started right away. Luke would sleep in until noon if he could and usually isn’t functioning until the afternoon. They can take things at their own pace and learn when it’s convenient (and fun) for them.
• Wide range of learning - You are never stuck to a pre-set curriculum. All children have different interests and there is SO much to learn! Who said we can’t learn Latin, Spanish, how to garden, photography, cooking, art, music, microscopes... the list is endless and can be exhilarating for children (and for the adults who have never had the chance to learn about these things!)
• Religion – many homeschool for religious reasons, and I hadn’t really thought about it until after I started. I probably don’t realize what a blessing it is to talk about God in everything we do. He is a part of math, reading, and self-esteem issues. Being a good friend, sharing, keeping yourself clean has everything to do with what Heavenly Father wants us to do and that is a big part of what we learn each day.
• Family is everything. We are together ALL the time. I have the time to build intimate and meaningful relationships with my children and they are also close as siblings.. they are seriously the best of friends and I love that. Homework never takes priority over family time. The evenings (especially when Aaron is home) is all about family.... isn’t it about time?
• Real life learning - a huge part of our routine is learning the everyday stuff. Cleaning toilets is part of the routine and so is learning to share. This is real life stuff—and I really want a girl so I can teach her how to make bread.. because my boys aren’t interested! I spent SO many years at home with a mother who made the best bread in the world and I never learned from her! Of course, that’s not her fault… I was too busy doing homework and extra curricular activities!
• Learning styles – all children are different and mine are polar opposites. But I am their mother and I know their personalities. Something that works well for Ben usually doesn’t work for Luke and vise versa. I can easily adapt what we study and teach it in a way that is easiest for the child to grasp.
• Early childhood education - even though homeschooling is for the “school aged” kids, the younger siblings always participate. Luke learned to read quicker because Ben was doing it.. and Zack is so much better off because his brothers are great educational examples to him.. I hope it gets better after each child. I know it’s hard with a baby (this is also on the downside of homeschooling) but it is so beneficial for the little ones.
• Protecting our kids from negative influences - This is NOT one of my top reasons for homeschooling, but it is definitely a benefit. I don’t wish to raise my children in a bubble but believe there is a time and place for them to learn what goes on in the world. Elementary school, in my opinion, is not the time for that.
• Parenting plus - Aaron and I work together with the homeschooling routine and even though I do most of the preparation, he is very involved in the discussion. I believe we have become closer as we both sacrifice to keep our kids at home. He does a lot for me because he knows I am tired! I believe he respects me because he knows that I am giving it my all. We have definitely become closer through homeschooling. (And let me say that when I first told him my “revelation” to educate at home, he thought I was insane.. but he came around and is now my biggest fan!)
• Stability – Considering the unstable living situation our children have had (moving 9 times in our 7 years of marriage) I have never worried about the kids' schooling.. where they will go and if they will adjust to their new teacher. It doesn’t matter where we live (we always talk about going overseas..) and that’s okay (and even exciting) because I don’t worry about what they will do and where they will go to school.
• Learning is exciting, not boring - When my boys get bored, we quickly change subjects. Reading books, doing worksheets, and learning to write is a positive thing for our kids and I hope they always have enthusiasm to learn new things. If it’s not forced, I believe they will always enjoy it. Growing up, I loved everything about school except for the learning part.. and it got worse as I got older. High school was a blast- but I didn’t learn a whole lot (if anything) in my classes. If I could teach my kids ONE thing, it would be that learning is fun and easy. I don’t care what kind of information they retain, but I want them to know where to go when they want to know more. Typically students believe that learning comes while sitting in a desk while the teacher lectures. This is the last thing I want my kids to believe. I never want them to say “it’s summertime- so I don’t need to learn” Education can be a hands-on experience and it should be an everyday thing. They beg to learn and my biggest problem is that I can’t do it ALL day! It has definitely gotten easier now that both older kids are reading on their own. Now they can spend quiet time in their rooms (while I take a nap or blog) and then we can talk about what they found interesting in their reading. It is all VERY exciting!!

Now... I after reading this list, you realize that I AM extreme and totally 'out of the norm', but that's okay with me. And even though it's a huge sacrifice, it's worth every minute. Sometimes I feel like jumping into homeschooling was a lot like having children. Yes, it's really hard and time consuming-- and the perks don't come in a way that are easy to explain. If someone said to you, "Having a child is so much work! It's expensive, you lose sleep, you don't get to do what you want to anymore... etc, etc." Would you still have kids? Of course- because the rewards of being a parent are worth all of the sacrifice. This is how I feel about homeschooling. It's hard but OH so rewarding! And the benefits often come in the ways that you least expect it.