the MUNDANE joys of life...

I wasn't kidding when I said that blogging was going on the back burner! I literally haven't sat down at the computer since Thursday morning and I feel so caught up on life, but so behind in the cyber-world. Something's gotta give, I guess. My cell phone battery was dead for most of the weekend... but it was a special treat listening to the 32 messages I had when it was finally charged! Wahoo! (When you have a big family, you feel rather special on your birthday!) Anyway, thanks to everyone.. and maybe eventually I will get around to responding to some of the emails and blogs I have neglected... just maybe.

Progression on our house is coming along! It is being painted this week, which will make everything seem homey-er. We spent most of Saturday running errands, buying paint, etc, etc. We stopped for a late lunch and everyone was exhausted. Aaron was frustrated and said something about hating spending his weekends this way. I laughed because we were saying the same thing about trying to FIND a house just a few months ago. And here we are, in a house and we're just not able to enjoy it yet. What a process! THIS is the very reason I was never anxious to buy our own house. Because then you have to make grown up decisions and stress about things that just don't really matter.

Anyway, here's the quick update on everyone--

Ben-- is just the most wonderful 7 year old I could ever ask for. He's helpful, sweet and so ORDERLY! I just love him.. He is growing like a weed and is wise beyond his years. I am struggling with homeschooling him because he's already smarter than me. How could this be? I am so very smart myself!! But I just don't know what to do and stress about not being the kind of mother he deserves. I really just look up to him and love being in his presence! His new talent lately is climbing up walls and opening doors with his feet.. which was so proudly shown in our family talent show last night.

Luke-- is going through a weird-awkward-boy stage. I mean, he's still cute and everything, but he is ALWAYS pulling crazy faces and making disgusting noises with his mouth. He's been a beat boxer since birth, but now it's less rhythm and more fart sounds and weird grunts. I don't know what to do with him!! He is still very sentimental and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Last night, he had to make the choice between going to the grocery store with Daddy to pick up a few items or staying home to play a game with Ben and Mommy. You would think this would be a simple decision-- but a minute after we told him his options, we found him in the corner crying because he just didn't know WHAT to do. I tried not to laugh as I told him that both decisions are good-- and it won't hurt anyone's feelings whichever way he chose. He dried his tears, grabbed his shoes and ran out the door with his Dad. While they were gone, I was smiling just contemplating the DRAMA that we would have if we told him we were getting divorced. I would love to see the look on his face while choosing which parent he loved more... because he is really cute when he is crying!

Zack-- and I have a rollercoaster relationship. I love him so much, but sometimes I just want to sell him to the Gypsies. He literally eats, drinks and breathes STAR WARS. He is obsessed. He knows the names to EVERY character.. it's incredible. He can tell you the story line of every episode (even though you can barely understand what he's saying.) One of the cutest things about his obsession is him singing the theme song wherever he goes. Tonight I recorded his little song and downloaded it for my ringtone on my cell phone. He is talking non-stop and I love every minute of it because I know his cute, high pitched voice is going to grow up soon and I will miss it! He is still doing well potty training (still not perfect, but we're okay with that.) He wants to go by himself and he's still always NAKED! I am so glad we live in a warm place so I am not constantly worried if he's going to freeze his bum off. As I was getting out the shower a few days ago, Zack ran into my bathroom. (He was fully dressed when I jumped into the shower, but he's quick to take off ALL his clothes when I'm not around.) When he saw me, he got a HUGE smile on his face, raised his eyebrows and said, "HEY! You big naked. I'm tiny naked!" It was a great observation of "are we the same, but yet, different." I'm beginning to realize that the reason why he drives me SO CRAZY is because we are more alike than we are different. But he is the only one in my house who laughs at my jokes, so I am going to keep him around a while longer.

Aaron-- is my favorite husband. He works hard and plays hard.. and I am grateful for the wonderful example he is to our boys. He planned a spectacular surprise trip to Florida for my birthday, scheduled to leave next week.. and I am SUCH a mean wife because I turned him down. The trip was ten days long (including a cruise to the Caribbean) and even though it sounds HEAVENLY to go... I just can't do it. Leaving the kids for that long, spending the money, and trying to relax when we have SO much to do (and lots to pay for) just doesn't seem to jive with ALL that we have going on. He got a great deal on the plane tickets and the cruise was super cheap (because it's hurricane season-- so let's go kill ourselves and leave our kids parentless!) The truth is, it's been a hard decision. This is the second year in a row I have turned down a trip to FL for my birthday, and I really feel bad about it... but I think he understands me and where I am coming from. I have just learned through this process that men think so differently!! But I appreciate the differences and love his stable, consistent emotions. He is seriously my rock and I am so grateful to have such a man in my life.

And here's to Me. I feel like I am a basketcase somedays and a super-mom the next. I really don't know why I am so unstable and off balance! More than anything, I have been trying to be quiet, calm and reserved so that I can find more peace in my life. This week I have had a major breakthrough-- I have been searching for the light-- and it finally came, in the least expected moment. To put it simply, I am trying hard not to force myself to be anyone else.. but just be comfortable with being. I honestly don't know who I am anymore, but I am okay with that and look forward to wiping the slate clean and starting over. Looking back at the last 12 months-- all I can say is, "I am so glad I don't have to live that year over!" I found out I was expecting a baby on my 28th birthday and was thrilled about it.. up until that point getting pregnant (and staying that way) wasn't a problem. But here I am, a year later, and it seems like a decade ago. I am so much more grown up!! I know that sounds lame, but I have been through a lot emotionally & physically in the past year. I feel like I have stepped out of my shell, away from the person who I always thought I was (and who many of you think I am because you only see 1% of the real me) and a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders. Of course, it's a daily battle-- focusing on what is important-- not comparing yourself with others-- learning to say "no" to things that you WANT to say "yes" to-- excepting yourself for who you ARE and not what you wish you were-- etc, etc, etc. But I honestly have felt more peace and contentment just by being grateful (truly grateful) for what I have... I am so blessed and so LOST at the same time! What a journey!

Anyway, this is NOT what I intended to write tonight, but it is what it is. I wanted to sit down post about our dear friends, the Reijonens, who we were able to visit in AZ over 3 months ago. I still haven't posted the pictures or written about why we love them so.. but that will have to be for next time. Sundays just go by too quickly, don't they? Hope you are all happy and well and that you will forgive me for being so random (and for maybe not posting for another week!)