television is the Devil

I've been wide awake since 3 AM. Not with a crying baby... I woke up to a nightmare and haven't been able to go back to sleep. I've had vivid dreams since I was a little girl. Most of the time they are nonsense and don't have meaning. But every once in a while, I will dream something and know exactly what it means. I believe in personal revelation and know that my dreams can be direct answers to my prayers.

Last night, I dreamed I was having a social gathering at my home. It was lighthearted and fun. Many people knocked on our door and we let them in. Soon our house was full of friendly faces, both adults and children. As the host, I was walking around making sure everyone was enjoying themselves and keeping an eye on the refreshments. I felt preoccupied and unaware of where my kids were and what they were doing. In the middle of my personal craziness, I spotted a man across the room and knew immediately that he was evil. In the second we made eye contact, I knew that he came into our home with the intent to destroy us. As soon as I recognized this, I shouted out and dashed towards him. But it was too late. He ran faster than I did, and I didn't stand a chance. He had an eye on Luke (my most emotional and sensitive child) who was playing off by himself in a bedroom. I ran to save him, but by the time I got to the door it was sealed off and locked. I grabbed a hatchet, started ripping the door to shreds and woke up in a cold sweat.

As scary as this was, I knew it was a dream and that my children were all sleeping safely in their beds. I snuggled up to my husband and spent a couple of hours thinking about what the dream meant to me. Sometimes when I have a nightmare, I try to go back to sleep and change the ending. If only I had looked this man in the eyes before he entered my home. I would have known what he was about and would have protected my family when I had the chance. I would have spent less time worrying about the food and drinks and concentrated more on where my children were playing. If only I had invited people I knew.. If only..

In the middle of the darkness, I knew what this dream meant to me. Just before I fell asleep last night, my husband and I were having a conversation about how to simplify and feel more productive in our home. I often feel overwhelmed at the beginning of the week because I never get as much accomplished on the weekend as I want. When Monday rolls around, I don't have any groceries in the fridge, I haven't prepared schooling material thoroughly and I resent the fact that my husband abandons me to fend for myself at home with the kids. As much as I try to be on top of things (I ironed everyone's church clothes on Friday night, for crying out loud) I usually start the week feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I always need another weekend to recover from the weekend. Just before I went to sleep, I told Aaron how much I was looking forward to our annual media fast (no television, computer, radio, etc) that usually happens the week before Easter. I know that those 7 days will give me the peace I need.

And then I had this dream that gave me a clearer perspective of what is happening in my life. I invited lots of people to my party, 99% of those who came into my home were friendly and harmless. But I was careless for a moment and allowed an enemy to enter. As soon as I woke up, I knew those guests in my home were the media.. And the evil man is just ONE thing I let slide through the door without being aware of what was entering my home. As a parent, I am not protecting my children like I should. I am casual with the amount of time they watch television and play on the computer. Right now, I believe it's completely harmless. But if I am not closely monitoring what we watch and how much time we waste on the computer, there will come a time when it's too late. I need to be more aware and more cautious of what I am allowing into our home.

Yesterday in Sunday school we had a fantastic lesson on Abraham and the decision he made to sacrifice his son Isaac. A question was asked during the lesson "What are you willing to sacrifice in order to know God?" I thought about this all day yesterday and media was the only answer I could come up with. I am spending time watching my favorite shows or emailing friends INSTEAD of doing things that are most important for my spiritual well-being. I know that my empty feeling that sets in Monday morning comes from watching too many hours of the mountain west basketball tournament over the weekend rather than preparing myself spiritually for the week to come. Life is getting too complicated for me to be casual about it. My children are growing up quickly and I am not sure I am doing all I can to prepare them for the world out there. My home is a sacred place and my family is too important to me. I need to do whatever it takes to keep my kids safe while they are under my roof. I am willing to sacrifice something big to feel more peace in my life and more unity in my home. I am willing to stop watching The Bachelor if that's what it takes. And I might as well stop watching American Idol too.. my favorites keep getting voted off anyway.

Obviously, I am feeling a bit extreme this morning after waking up from such a dream. I don't think being extreme is the answer. It can't be all or nothing. I can promise you my husband won't be happy if I move our television out into the garage while he's at work. But I can be more on top of my game. We can carefully pick and choose what and when we watch TV and for how many minutes a day we spend on the computer. I know that by eliminating the amount of time we spend on the unimportant things, we will have enough time to do the most important things... like exercising, cooking healthy meals, reading scriptures and good books, playing games together, preparing meaningful lessons, praying, getting to bed at a decent hour, etc, etc. Our Family Home Evening lesson tonight will be setting realistic goals on our media flow... and sticking to those goals for a week. I will let you know how it goes.

Well, it's time to turn off the computer. My tennis shoes are tied and I am going out to enjoy the sunrise. After exercising and feeding my kids breakfast, I am heading to the store to buy groceries and a hatchet... Last night I went to sleep feeling hopeless and discouraged. There's nothing like a terrible nightmare to make you feel motivated, encouraged and determined!